


Doctor on the grid

by Poppy_Sykes



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Formula One, Doctor/Patient, F/M, Formula 1, Formula One, Medicine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 156,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppy_Sykes/pseuds/Poppy_Sykes
Summary: Clara Horner is a hard working young MD living in London who happens to be the niece of the Red Bull Racing Team principal Christian Horner.She doesn’t have time for watching the races, until every minute of her life becomes filled with Formula 1.I changed a small bit of history - Daniel is still at RB, not Renault. Just because we adore Maxiel, right?Also, English is (obviously, duh) not my first language so be patient.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Original Female Character(s), Daniel Ricciardo/Original Female Character(s), Max Verstappen/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 300
Kudos: 225





	1. A hard day's night

Agh - I huffed angrily as my phone went on again. I just sat down to have a coffee in my room, and OK, I maybe closed my eyes for a second. Being a consultant anaesthetist had its true perks as one had zero time for resting on call nights. This must be another C-section – I thought and picked up without even checking the callers ID. 

It was the middle of March and a cold wave just hit the area. I came in a rainstorm that morning and the grey city of Northampton was nearly visible in the thick fog on the way. I even got a cold the other night. During weather changes the delivery room is loaded and we are often called in to help with cesarean sections.

“Yes, its Doctor Horner speaking” I said in a harsh voice and cleared my throat.  
“Clara, it’s me, Christian” said the caller and I suddenly realised. It’s my uncle who called me in the middle of the night. We haven’t speak since Christmas, so his call made me quite curious.  
“Hey Christian, I didn’t see it’s you calling.” I excused myself.  
“Ok, I guess you’re in the hospital then” he mumbled nervously.  
“Yes, I’m on call. Third time this week. Why? Is there a problem?”  
“Well yes, indeed there is, sorry in other case I wouldn’t bother you this time of the night.”

I started to get nervous. I was afraid that maybe it’s one of the kids. Geri and he had two incredible kids, Olivia and baby Monty. On holidays we always visited them in their house, otherwise around the year sadly we didn’t meet. Busy families.  
“Well, it’s one of our drivers. You know Max, right?” he asked.  
“Of course I know him from TV, I always watch your races!” I resented. “Well, if I have the time” I added.  
“Glad to hear that. Well, the thing is that we just arrived back from Australia an hour ago. He started to cough we he left the plane, and during our drive to Milton Keynes he got dizzy and short of breath. I need somebody to examine him without the media circus. Can I count on you?” he asked.  
“Of course Christian, get in here, I will check on him.”  
“Thank you Clara, we are on our way.” We hung up. 

I drank my coffee while I started to think what could get a healthy young athlete these symptoms. Allergy? Asthma? Middle East respiratory syndrome?

Barely ten minutes passed and Christian called me and said they’ve arrived to my floor. I went out to the elevators. It was my uncle and the young dutch driver who looked really frightened, and clearly short of air. 

“Hey, Clara. He got even worse on the way. Please help us!” My uncle was even worried than Max. I turned to him.  
“Hey I’m Clara. Come with me” as I saw that he’s in need of prompt therapy I lead him to our private patient room in the Intensive Care Unit and closed the door behind us.

“Thank... you... i’m... Max” he breathed. I nodded and got him an oxygen mask, I checked is breathing and blood pressure.  
“I need you to breath through this, while I take some blood”I told him and started to get ready for taking some blood samples. I got him an IV as well and ordered a regime of asthmatic medication.  
“Did you have anything like this before?” I asked the guy with a serious face. 

By my examination he clearly had an asthmatic attack. Maybe it’s the sudden weather change, but barely his first one cause asthma usually starts at a younger age. 

“Well” he started, speaking through the mask still breathing heavily, wheezing. ”There was something... like this when i was a child. My parents told me... I’ll grow out of it. And if I run... i always get behind my trainer... because i can’t breath... But nothing this serious.” he said and I nodded.  
“Do you take your meds for asthma Max?” I asked again but he closed his eyes and shook his head.  
“No. I didn’t even know... that i have asthma!” he coughed “Will I die?”  
“Of course not!” I smiled “It will be better shortly. I got what you need. You are safe here.” I smiled as i tried to calm him down.  
“We wait for your lab results and make a chest x-ray.W I explained calmly. “As i see now you have an asthmatic attack. It’s not so bad, you got here in time. But I surely need you to stay in for the night.” I nodded strictly. He nodded and laid back on the bed. He needed some time to get better, the meds to make their effect. 

I said I’ll be back shortly and left him in the room. I asked one of our nurses to check on the monitor as I went out to update Christian with my findings. He was surprised Max likely had asthma.  
“I don’t understand.” he said. “He was completely healthy until now and we know him for years!” he sighed.  
“Well, that’s what is most likely. The cold, humid weather, the smog and the stress can all cause an attack” I explained. “He will recover soon, but i need him to spend the night.  
“Oh, OK I guess I’ll go and give the guys a heads up.” he said “they’re really concerned, you know. But thank you for your help. Would have been a nuance if media got to know about this. Especially after yesterday's victory” he added. I smiled reassuringly.  
“I saw the race, it was a blast. I make sure he gets better by the morning. I’ll call you.” I promised. He looked relieved, he even hugged me as we said goodbye. 

As I was on my way to return to Max’s room I got a call, they needed me in a trauma case. I run immediately to the Emergency Department, where an old lady got transferred with a head trauma. She got hit by a car, now unconscious.  
“OK, GSC is 3 points, vitals are stable. Prepare for intubation!” I told the team and they did so. As an anaesthetist I was the leader of the trauma team and also the responsible doctor for the patients stabilisation process. As the ultrasound and CT was made it become clear that the old lady needed prompt operation. The trauma surgeons prepped the Operation Room and I referred the case to my colleague, Stacy a resident who supposed to take her to the OR. 

In the end I needed to help in the OR so nearly 2 hours passed by when I could get back to Max’s room. He was clearly in a better shape than previously, being on his phone speaking in Dutch. He looked at me, smiled and said something ending with a strangely pronounced mother, and hung up.  
“Hey, I can see that the good old steroids worked again” i said with a smile.  
“Yep, I feel like you saved my life. Thanks Clara. Christian told me you are good, and he was right.” He smiled back.  
“Well, that was not black magic, but thanks. I’m happy I could help.” I nodded and sat next to his bed. 

Max and I talked until 3am. He clearly was better and didn’t want to sleep in spite of I’ve ordered him to several times. He said he was too afraid to sleep, so I spent the night by his bed and we talked about basically everything.  
This was totally two different world we lived in and we were fascinated by the other’s achievements in their professions. Max told me about the constant travelling, their life at the Red Bull Racing team, the difficulties with last years car that they had to get over so to have a chance for the podium this year. He also told me several funny stories about the other drivers - some of his friends, especially his teammate Daniel Ricciardo. He always seemed like a funny guy to me (not to mention his crazy sexy look) but i even found him more attractive after hearing the stories about him being like a brother to Max. He told me Daniel already called him multiple times just to make sure he feels better. Then Max asked me a couple of questions about my work in Northampton General Hospital but we quickly moved on to the personal stuff. 

“So you’re always working and no fun huh? You live alone, no boyfriend? How come?” he asked me shaking his head in disbelief.  
“Well, I have fun thank you very much.” I fake-scoffed. “Occasionally” I added with a smile, but then that smile froze on my face in the silent gap that took place.  
“I just got out of a long-term relationship. We just ended it a couple of weeks ago” I explained and he looked at me sympathetically.  
“Was it him or you?” he asked quietly. I sighed.  
“Well, one could see it for a long time coming I guess. Ten years together and we slowly just got bored and tired of each other” I explained. He nodded and we were quietly thinking for a couple of seconds. Then my phone rang again and I had to go in to an emergency operation. I left him promising he would rest until I get back.

I spent the rest of the night managing patients. After my morning round I returned to his room and found him awake.  
“Hi Dr. Horner” he greeted me with a wide smile. He didn’t even had his oxygen mask on any more.  
“How are you? Easy breathing?” I asked and examined him for a last time. He seemed good enough to go. During the examination we kept talking.  
“Thanks I’m fine. The nurse let me to take it off. I have a car picking me up in an hour.“ he explained.  
“All right. I’ll prescribe some meds for you and let you go. I already talked to Christian, he is thrilled to hear you are ok again. But I need you to rest a bit at home, right?” I asked him.  
“Ok Clara, I’ll be a good boy. Just for you” he winked and I rolled my eyes.  
Boys - i thought and left the room to get his papers settled. 

“When is the next race again?” I asked him as I handed him the documentation.  
“Next weekend” he kept a pause then added “in Bahrain.”  
“Oh god Max, the weather change and a long flight again!” I exclaimed. He needed some rest and more than about ten days for the medication to work reliably  
“I need you to check things with your doctor at Red Bull Headquarters before your flight. Ok?” I was worried about him getting another attack even if warm, dry weather was a smaller concern.  
“Right. I promise.” he nodded. “Although, our doc at RBR, he is an old man, Lee. I think he is more of a family doctor, you know. I doubt that he can deal with these acute situations” he grimaced.  
“Well, you can still visit me here” I said and his face turned bright again.  
“Cool! So I’ll keep in touch” he promised. 

We exchanged numbers and I let him go with some emergency medication and inhalers to use in need. Christian picked him up and after he left I just realised that I haven’t slept all night and I’m dead tired. I settled the rest of my remaining paperwork and then after saying goodbyes to the staff I headed home. 

As I was driving home the sun peeked out under the clouds and I was thinking about my night. When I got up the previous morning I’d have never thought that I’d meet Christian and treat his world famous but surprisingly down to earth driver Max Verstappen.  
I was glad that I could help him but what made me happier that we clicked so good together. I don’t have many friends, and I tend to be critical and sarcastic but he just seemed to be the same. He was funny and easy to talk to. I laughed as I thought back to the story he shared about one time he pranked his engineer Ganpierre (GP for short). One time he really wanted to race against team orders so he faked that the car’s radio doesn’t work and he can’t hear any of his instructions. I would have totally done the same!

I arrived home and slept for a couple of hours. In the afternoon it was sunny so I decided I go for a run of 10K. I never liked running, but nothing works as much as running as a workout for me. Standing in a shift for usually more than 24 hours requires some endurance - sadly. So I regularly work out or go for a run in the evening or after night shifts. Plus for that hour the loud music I listen to gets my mind off the everyday stress. 

When I got out of the shower I had a new message on my phone. It was from Max.  
So far so good. I and the whole RBR team say thank you, doctor!  
I quickly typed ok, good to hear that. take care! :) to answer and hit the send button. I smirked and looked out of my bedroom window to the sunshine. Maybe I ask Christian to go to the Silverstone Grand Prix with him so I say hi to Max again.


	2. Into the Abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone reading the first chapter and also special thank you going for kudos and comments! 
> 
> If you're still here I've got the next one brewing, things get heated up slowly. Maybe it starts boiling in the 3rd, coming in shortly ;)
> 
> Have fun!

The next week I got extremely busy with work. I was in the Intensive Care Unit - ICU for short - and had a couple of difficult cases which needed a lot of examinations and organising so I spent most of my time in the hospital sometimes until late night.

No problem, I don’t have a life anyway - thought to myself as I headed to my changing room on Thursday evening. I was drained, smelly and hungry and hated myself. Saving lives is great but an extremely demanding profession. I enjoyed every moment of it but at these times I started thinking if was it all worth it. I lived alone at the age of 32 and Max was right, my life really was all work but no fun. At least I got the next three days free and had nothing planned except sleeping and eating. Ok, maybe some more running so I don’t get fat. Now, that would be the sprinkle on the top. 

As I was dreaming about my free weekend my phone rang. I started searching for it, and when I found it in the pocket of my scrubs I saw the caller’s ID: it was Christian again.

“Hey Christian” I greeted him. I sounded tired for sure and maybe not so interested as I really was.  
“Hi Clara. Bad time?” he asked cautiously.  
“No, it’s just the end of my day. How are you guys?” I asked him while I struggled myself into my skinny jeans.  
“Fine. Fine.” he hesitated. His voice sounded distant and a realisation just occurred to me.  
“Wait, you’re already in Bahrain right?” I nearly fell over and stopped. “Is everything ok? Is Max all right?” I asked worriedly.  
“Yeah, good as new” he fastly stated. “No, the thing is I was just worried. Look, the car seems perfect. And I have a perfect driver. Well, at least we’d thought so. What if it happens again? The attack?” he asked.  
I relieved. It was not likely that Max will have an asthma attack with the meds I prescribed but Christian was right it wasn’t impossible. He clearly needed regular checkups and medication.  
“So it got me thinking. We have to be sure we don’t waste this opportunity to win the Championship this year. You can’t imagine how much money it is Clara. All the sponsors and the fame we could have with that trophy. And that boy is a winner.” he really sounded enthusiastic. 

I understood it was a multibillion dollar business and winning was everything for them. Especially for Red Bull who struggled as second best in the last couple of years. Max told me the other night that he had one goal since the age of three and that is to be a formula 1 world champion. 

“Well, this is where you came to my mind.” he continued and I frowned. I didn’t see where this conversation is heading. “Clara what do you do on the weekend?” he asked.  
“Uhm” I started still frowning. “I go home and bury myself under my blankets for the next seventy-two hours.”  
“Interesting” he said really not impressed. “So what about getting out of your comfort zone and come here?”  
“WHAT?” I asked and finally gave up trying to change my clothes. “To Bahrain you mean? Now? You lost your mind my dear uncle.” I laughed. I was sure I misunderstood something.  
“Why? You don’t have anything else to do, and we really need you. I took care of everything. Just pack your things and head to the airport.” He sounded like it was the brightest, most logical idea he ever had.  
“But why? You have your own medical staff! And FIA has their official team of fancy doctors so I don’t understand.”  
“Yes, that’s correct. But Lee is not confident with these acute illnesses. And I simply don’t trust other doctors. The last thing I need is the media finding out about this. The rising star with the chronic disease!” he started to sound panicked. “What a headline for Hello magazine. You have to understand that with you being my niece there nobody will suspect a thing! You could be just hanging around and be there just in case the something happens again. So what do you say?” he jabbered and I still couldn’t believe my ears. 

My uncle just invited me to Bahrain to attend an F1 race like VIP and be a personal standby doctor for Max Verstappen. That’s ridiculous. I laughed desperately again.

“I guess you are right about the media.” I gave in slowly. “And you are also right about me - I have nothing else planned. But even like this, I can’t just hop on a plane and fly there, it’s insane!”  
“Yes, it is insane. Welcome to our life dear.” Now, he laughed. “We are called a circus for a reason. I need you so just go to the airport, and by the time you’re there my assistant will sort out the flight. We’ll keep in touch don’t worry. Thank you Clara, it means a lot. But I need to go now.” 

So with that we hung up quickly, he didn’t even let me agree in. I held my phone for a minute, still not believing what just happened. I stood in the middle of the changing room in my underwear. I was tired, desperate for a shower, had black bags under my eyes and I didn’t eat in twelve hours. And I had T minus 1 minute to get ready and go to the airport to spend the weekend in Bahrain. What the fuck?

I drove home slightly over the speed limit. In my head I listed the things I’ll need. Once I put my suitcase on my bed I just threw everything inside. I always got ready quickly but this had to be a personal record. I stormed into the shower and washed my hair. Then I called a taxi and by the time it arrived I even managed to apply some makeup. I couldn’t deal with my tired eyes but at least I didn’t look like somebody suffering from congenital sleep deprivation. I put on a black sweater with some black jeans, sneakers and run down to the taxi. I got my passport, my phone and credit card with me, what else do I need?  
It sounded like a cheesy travel motivation quote. I laughed again to myself. The last hour passed like a minute and in this short time I got excited about this trip. I felt I finally made a good decision. 

The flight to Bahrain was definitely the most relaxing 6 hours I had in a long time.  
As I’ve arrived to Heathrow I messaged to Christian what to do next. His personal assistant Jamie called me with all the flight details. 

It turned out that they had a private jet prepared for maybe a dozen of people also going to the Grand Prix. A couple of them seemed like engineers working on laptops during the whole flight, and some unknown fancy looking people - maybe they were journalists or celebrities I don’t know.  
As soon we got on board the young, chic stewardess offered me some champagne - which I gladly accepted. Then maybe in 10 minutes I fell asleep. I only woke up by the time we landed.

The weather in Bahrain was hot and dry, completely the opposite of England. I felt the sunshine and it affected my mood instantly. In spite of still being tired I smiled. There was such an adventure ahead of me. I didn’t make any vacations in a long time, and since we ended things with Sam I’ve buried myself in work. Now I got the opportunity to travel to a country which normally I wouldn’t visit and I can even take a peek into one of the biggest industries in the sport world. 

The transfer car directly took me to the hotel where the Red Bull team was accommodated.  
I already had a room reserved and it was fabolous! The fancy hotel lobby looked like a museum and my room was more of a suite with a balcony overlooking the Persian Gulf. It was miraculous!  
However I didn’t have much time to admire the panorama, because my phone rang. It was Max.  
“Hello Max!” I picked up quickly.  
“Hi Clara, what’s up? Christian said you’ve arrived already and now you don’t even greet us!” he sounded a little bit fake-huffish.  
“Sorry Max, the view from my balcony was too breathtaking to care about anything else.” I giggled, it sounded like a legit excuse.  
“Oh, you like it?” he asked “it’s my present for you not letting me suffocate last time.”  
“If only all my patients would be so generous! Thanks Max.”  
“You are welcome. Now if you want you can join us on the track we still have some test to run.”  
“Great, i’m on my way,” I said goodbye and started to get ready to go out to the paddock. 

In the rushed packing earlier I was able to find some decent clothes I never wear - I simply never find the occasion. So I packed a black jumpsuit and a nice sandal. I even put on my sunglasses and checked myself in the mirror. I looked good. Why don’t i wear these chic clothes everyday? Oh yeah, because i’m an ambitious doctor who lives in a hospital and only wear scrubs with compression socks. Even my relationship has ended because of this lifestyle. I felt the lump in my throat forming.  
Hey, I’m not crying in this beautiful place. I shook my head and with a determined look on my face I decided that it really is time for those sunglasses and a break from my reality. 

I’ve been given an all access pass - it was left on the table in my suite, so I took that and hailed a taxi to take me to the circuit. The car stopped right outside the Red Bull Hospitality building. It was a huge building with a little crowd formed at the entrance. They all screamed Max and Daniel’s name. I pushed myself to the entrance and showed my card to the security guy who let me in immediately. Once I got inside it was lot less crowded, but busy people were running around.  
I’ve found my uncle in the cafeteria. He was chatting with an italian looking guy also wearing red bull uniform both holding a cup of tea. I approached them shyly. 

“Hey Christian!” i greeted him and waved nervously.  
“Clara!" He looked up. "So good that you’re here.” he really looked relieved. “Let me introduce you to Gianpiero, he’s Max’s race engineer.” we smiled and shook hands politely.  
“Nice to meet you Clara’ he nodded then turned back to his boss. “Christian I have to go back to the wall and check if they have the data on the wind for tomorrow.” he said and he left in a hurry. 

Christian turned to me with bright eyes.  
“Really, thank you for coming here. It’s such a relief. I hope you’ll also have a great time, and no work of yours will be needed! By the way you look good! At least better than the last time I saw you.” he added laughing.  
“Gee, thanks uncle,” I smiled. 

He showed me to a quieter area, which seemed more private. At least less journalists and fans were around. He knocked on a door, and Max opened it.  
“Hey Clara,” his face lit up when he saw me. He let me in the room and scooped me in a tight hug. 

“I’m so glad you came. How was the flight? I hope you rested on the plane, so you can come today to the family dinner.”  
“What family dinner?” I got confused. He laughed out seeing me clueless.  
“No worries. I’m not taking you to my family. It’s just a joke here, we are a big family and every saturday evening we go out to have a team building dinner. And today we can celebrate because i got the pole in qualifying! Nothing big though because of tomorrow - you know,” he explained enthusiastically ‘But if we win, tomorrow at the great after party we can show you the red bull spirit!’ he grinned. It was nice to see his enthusiasm.  
“I would be glad to see that,” I nodded “and hey, congrats to the pole position!” I added patting his shoulder. 

After chatting some more he quickly showed me around the paddock. He introduced me to a couple of people, and everybody seemed friendly. I met his trainer Jake and his press officer Vicky who also invited me to the dinner. 

“It’ll be fun. The more the girls the better!” she winked and hurried away, but before that she’s made sure Max knows that his next program is scheduled in five minutes. Of course he didn’t tell anybody that i’m his on grid doctor. That would raise questions. So we just walked around and said everybody I’m visiting my uncle. 

So Max went on to deal with his media commitments, and I got back to the hotel. I had a little time to rest and get ready for the dinner. I crossed the busy lobby and just entered the elevator but somebody hopped in through the closing doors in the last second.  
“Oi sorry!” said the man who in fact was a very sweaty Daniel Ricciardo himself. Max’s teammate apparently just finished a workout, wore his training clothes and held a towel. Even like this he looked fabulous. He also looked at me, maybe a second longer than one would normally do and then he flashed his well known wide smile to me.  
“Evening milady,” he nodded “I’m Daniel, at your service” I laughed. He bowed and deliberately spoke like a chevalier in the middle ages which made me giggle.  
“Hello I am Clara” I told him. His smile became even bigger hearing my words. The next moment the lift stopped, it arrived to my floor. I smiled again and nodded to him.  
“Clara from England. Have a nice evening!” he told me as I left for my room. Haha! He doesn’t need to know that we are heading to the same dinner party in two hours - I thought myself smirking.

According to Max these evenings were always casual, so i decided on wearing jeans and a nice top showing just a little bit of my cleavage. I also put on my favourite pink ballerinas. It was a salvation to wear flats after wearing high heels for marching around the paddock. 

At eight o’ clock Christian came to my room and escorted me to the restaurant of the hotel.  
There were already a bunch of people talking and ordering food from the menu. We sat down around the middle of the table, and in no time Max also arrived. 

“Hey Clara” he squeezed my shoulders and took the seat next to me. We all ordered fish, it was the speciality of the place. Not a lot of people drank alcohol since its their big day tomorrow after all but the guys encouraged me to have some chardonnay to match with my salmon. They were a nice group of people to chat with. Sitting next to Christian was Adrian the chief technical officer who turned out to be a funny guy. He just told us a story about that he had to threaten Max with serious consequences if he reveals anything about next years car. And when we laughed out loud Daniel just appeared. He did recognise me instantly. 

“Dan, meet my dear friend Clara,” Max introduced me “And she’s actually Christian’s niece”  
“Wow, Clara from England!” he shook my hand this time and winked.  
“What? Have you two met before?” Max asked looking at us little confused.  
“Yeah” said Ricciardo still looking at me. “Just passed by,” he smiled widely but this time his tone became a little disappointed.  
“Anyway, I’m going to say hey to my peeps” he pointed to the other end of the table and left. We didn’t have any free seat left nearby, so he sat there. 

The food was delicious and I really had a great time listening to these people sharing stories and joking around. I zoned out of my usual world, since a long time I didn’t think about patients and shifts. Maybe it was just because of the wine, but i managed to relax. As the evening passed I peeked to the left end of the table from time to time were Daniel was sitting. One time I catched his glance, and he flashed a wide smile. Then he grabbed his phone and started to fiddle with it.

“I think I’m going up to my room,” I told Max when everyone have finished eating and the talking slowed down. “But thanks for the company,” I put my hand on his so he looked up from his phone. He was actively chatting with somebody. Probably his secret girlfriend.  
“Yeah, OK I’m going as well,” he said and got up to leave. We said our goodbyes as other people were beginning to leave too.

We walked to the elevators and when we got in I asked Max “So do you feel okay?”  
“Yes, I’m taking the meds and feeling well. Also went to a pulmonologist last week and he said I’ll be fine” he stated relieved while selected his floor’s button.  
“So all the big guys are on the top floor?” I asked. I remember earlier Daniel pressed the top floor as well.  
“Haha, I guess so,” he grinned.  
“You guys seem so cool. I’m glad I came” I said.  
“I’m glad you are here!” he interrupted “It’s nice to have more people around who is actually fun to talk to and not only coming because of the autographs and instagram photos” he stated and I understood what he meant. As little as I saw today at the paddock were already too many fans and journalist running after each pilot. I could easily understand how it’s frustrating and exhausting for them and I couldn’t imagine myself living a life like this. I smiled at him with sympathy. 

We arrived to my floor and we said goodbye. I went to my room and headed straight to the balcony. The view was even better with the evening lights around.

Today was great and tomorrow will be even better - I thought as I breathed in the salty air deeply and felt my body ease.


	3. Cozy in the rocket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kind responses. It truly means a lot 😚  
> This one is kind of a short one and only complicates things more but soon it clears up I promise!

Next day I got up early thanks for the jetlag.  
I decided on having a nice bath before going down to the restaurant to have breakfast. I slept like a baby all night so I felt refreshed and excited.

That day was the race, and that also meant it was customary to dress up nicely. I put on a colorful long skirt and a black top with heels and sunglasses. The weather was nice and sunny just like yesterday. 

While I was in the bath I was reading about yesterday’s qualifying session so there was a chance I would understand what is happening on the grid. Most importantly Max was on pole, but he was closely followed by Leclerc then Vettel. The mercedes cars were fourth and fifth and then came Daniel on the sixth place. The team had high hopes for both cars - but I guess that was the case at every race.

The restaurant was already half full of people eating breakfast. I saw Max sitting with his trainer Jake who I've met the other day so I decided to join them.  
"Morning guys," I greeted them and they moved their things on the table to make some room for my plate.  
"Hey Clara," Max was cheerful and looked well rested. "Did you sleep well?" He asked and had a sip of his orange juice.  
"Yes, thanks for the room again," I smiled at him. They were nearly ready to go, but decided to wait for me a little so i didn’t have to eat alone. The two guys began to talk about the warm up session waiting for Max before the race. While eating my eyes began to wander around the room.

Two tables away from us were sitting Daniel with his trainer Michael. God, those two guys looked like models on a photoshoot. They both wore the red bull uniform and were talking quietly while eating and browsing on their phones. Dan had a gentle smile on his face and at once he's found something interesting because he bit his lower lip and showed something to Michael - both of them laughed out loudly. 

Max probably realised I’m watching them because he turned to me asking "Hey you know what?"  
I looked at him questioningly.  
"Last night Dan asked me if we were together" he grinned.  
I frowned. "What would make him think that?"  
"I dunno," Max shrugged. "Maybe because people saw us together yesterday in the paddock and also at the dinner."  
I still didn’t understand. "OK, but there were like fifty other people around!" I said offended but he smirked at me.  
"Oh well I think the extra reasons are that I don’t have an official girlfriend and you are a beautiful and mysterious young lady who happens to be around," he grinned and I instantly felt the blush on my face.  
"Well, thanks Max," I got embarrassed so I started to scratch my neck. I could never take compliments. Not that I got a lot lately and my ex was everything but a romantic type so he has nearly never said anything like that to me. 

"Anyways, I told him that we’ve met in London but only spent a night together" he said grinning like a fool.  
"MAX!" I was louder than expected in the quiet cafeteria and a couple of heads turned towards us. Including Daniel’s.  
"Hahaha, sorry I couldn’t miss this chance! And it's all true" he laughed.  
"Fuck you," I coursed but laughed anyways. That should’ve been the highlight of his morning and I've finished eating anyway so we got our stuff and left the restaurant. 

It was about time to go. It was still early - around 11 am - but most of the people were already at the circuit making preparations for the race.

Max’s staff was bigger to fill one car so no extra seat was left for me so I took another car to the paddock. On the way I admired the view of the skyscrapers in the middle of the desert and thinking about how great it was for these guys to travel around the world from weekend to weekend and get to see these incredible places.

We arrived to the paddock and I already knew the way to the Red Bull Energy Station. I had another coffee and hung around saying hi-s to a couple of staff members I’ve met yesterday at the dinner. Max’s PA Vicky also greeted me with a huge smile.

"Hi Clara," she said and lowered her mobile which she always had in her hand. "So today the after party starts at 11. Everybody will be there and it’s a blast so be sure you won’t miss it, OK?" She asked me with a serious face and it looked like she would never take no as an answer. Good thing I planned on going anyway. Everybody told me these parties are always fun to attend. 

"Fine, thanks. I’ll be there I guess,” I replied and drank the rest of my americano.  
"Super, now I'm sorry but I have to rush. But meet you after the race stars? We can watch it together," she proposed and I was so surprised at the kind proposition so I just smiled and nodded like a lunatic.  
"Awesome, I gotta run now, see you!" she waved goodbye and hurried away. 

I didn’t want to bother them in the preparations but also didn’t feel the urge to take hundreds of instagrammable photos posing with the cars and the drivers like dozens of girls did around the paddock, so I went out take a walk. There was an extreme bike show just outside the building sponsored by Red Bull which I watched for a while but when I catched myself evaluating the possible bone fractures and head traumas one would get after each stunt I decided it was time to move on. 

The next building was the McLaren Hospitality with its papaya colour. They had loud music roaming all over the place which made me smile. They seemed always so funny in the videos and looked like they managed to work as a team really good. Carlos Sainz and Lando Norris were both young and aspiring pilots who had great chemistry together - it also made their team the most likeable for many.

I passed and then suddenly everything changed to red. The building, the people, the balloons even the freakin’ dustbins were red. My eyes hurt - that meant the italians and of course Ferrari. They had a great outside seating area where a couple of men were having breakfast, others were just chatting loudly in italian or in english with a terrible accent.

As I got closer on the way some mechanics passed me and one of them whistled and turned after me. I scoffed and decided on being offended when I also heard them say ‘Ciao Bella!’ to another girl as well. I didn’t like this macho attitude towards me, nor generally towards women. So I just threw at them an insulted look, but when I turned back to continue my walk my eyes suddenly met Charles Leclerc’s.

He was also sitting outside with a bunch of guys, maybe his engineers. One was talking to him with big gestures, but he didn’t pay any attention to him. He was looking at me while - fuck - he didn’t even blink. It felt so awkward and his look was so intimidating I suddenly felt naked. He narrowed his eyes and visibly clenched his jaw. I felt my stomach twist unpleasantly so I tore my eyes away crossed my arms tightly on my chest and forced myself to carry on my walk. After a bit I cautiously turned my head back and he was still looking at me. What the heck is his problem?

I’ve heard so much about him. I’ve read the news and saw the pictures. The young titan who launched in his first year at Ferrari like a skyrocket and had better results than his well seasoned multiple world champion teammate Sebastian Vettel. The press loved him. He was young, good looking, polite and mysterious enough to talk about. Plus he drove his heart out for the Tifosi in Monza last year. The italian fan base meant like 10 million people, so he was made a living legend in Italy. Young girls also adored him, even my instagram thread appeared to be full of his smiling pictures. It doesn’t help that according to the tabloid he just broke up with his long term girlfriend. 

As I've reached the end of the paddock I managed to find another way back so I didn’t have to walk by the Ferrari Home again. I've just reached the Energy Station when I met Vicky again. 

"Hello Vicky," I greeted her. She waved to me to follow her inside.  
"I was just looking for you. Lurking around, ha?" She smirked. It was an innocent question but after the strange encounter with Leclerc I really felt that I was at the forbidden place before.  
"No, I just took a walk, I didn’t want to bother you in the preparation" I mumbled.  
"Don’t be kidding. Max asked me to find you. He said he called you but you didn’t answer your phone," she said.  
"No way it’s right here in my pocket" I said while reached for my phone. True, Max called me two times already, and I didn’t hear it because it was on silent mode. 

"Never mind, we are here," she said. By that time we entered the restricted corridor with the drivers personal rooms. Max was in his room with his trainer Jake and he looked panicked.  
"Fuck Clara, thank god you're here. I called you," he said.  
"What’s the matter?" I looked at him. He was nervous but otherwise looked healthy.  
"I'm freaking out. I feel my chest heavy. What if it starts again?" he asked, "What if the stress or anything makes it worse?"  
‘"Okay, first of all that’s not very likely,’ I smiled at him trying to calm his nerves, "But if you want to go hundred percent, then use your ventolin inhaler twice just before the race" I said. He stood up and went to his bag looking for the inhaler. He found it and used it twice as I said.  
"It’s now. Before the race is now," he sighed. He took a couple of deep breaths and looked at me a little bit more relaxed than before.  
"Thanks Clara. With this illness I feel so vulnerable. I was always so sure I'm invulnerable. I’ve never felt like this before," he looked so sad I felt sorry for him.  
"Max, it's a condition which we can held stable and asymptomatic with the right medications. You're young and tough".  
"And luckily I have you around," he cheered up a bit on the thought.  
‘"Yes, lucky you" I laughed as he hugged me. I hugged him back and looked up at him "Now, go and win a race for us, ok?"  
"Yes, doctor" he nodded and hurried out of the room, with us following.  
"Thanks Clara" Jake stepped beside me. He was so tall and generally big that I felt tiny next to his frame.  
"You helped a lot to him and he’s so grateful for you. He trusts you and he doesn’t trust a lot of people," he looked serious but his look was gentle. He squeezed my shoulder and guided me outside.  
"You can be with us until the start," he said and pointed to the grid. I saw the crowd gathering around the cars, I didn’t even see Max or his car behind the mess of mechanics, engineers, trainers and journalists. I followed Jake to the front. Max jumped already in his car, relaxing and zooming out. He held up his thumb as he saw me stepping next to his car. 

I smiled but started to feel nervous for him. I really hoped he will win the race. He looked so motivated and wanted to be world champion more than anything. I took a look around us. After the red bull car were the two mercedes, surrounded by dozens of mechanics. Hamilton and Bottas were both in their cars waiting patiently.

Next to us just a few meters behind, the ferrari car was still empty. It was waiting for the young monegasque. I just started wondering where could he be when I noticed him. He was sitting by the pitwall on is own holding a red umbrella in one hand and his water flask in the other. He was sipping liquid out of his flask and gazing the asphalt. What on earth are these drivers drinking all the time before races? Is it some isotonic drink or just water? I bet Lando drinks milk and Raikönnen has vodka. 

And at that very one moment his greenish eyes found me again. He seemed curious, and this time I didn’t turn away. We watched each other for a few seconds, then he got up and started walking. My heart jumped as I thought he’s going to come over to me but he went on to sit in his car. Silly me. Before taking on his helmet he looked at Max’s car last time. If looks could kill I wouldn’t have to bother with Max’s health anymore.

It was time, so his staff said good luck to Max, mechanics were patting his helmet, I waved, Jake made a fistbump and we headed off the grid. In a minute the engines started buzzing and the lamps went out as the show started.


	4. I don't care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I love writing this story so much (f1 winter break is killing me :D ) So here is the next chapter - I really hope you like it! 
> 
> Things get a bit more complicated for Clara. Or she's messing them up herself?
> 
> Btw if you haven't realised yet the titles of the chapters are all name of songs. This one is from Ed Sheeran&Justin Bieber and it had a huge impact on this chapter. ^^

I watched the Bahrain Grand Prix from the Red Bull Energy station with Max’s PR assistant, Vicky. She was fun to be with, and continued to explained me a lot during the race - I learnt that she was a racing driver previously as well. We cheered loudly together for the two red bulls along dozens of others in the hospitality. 

Max was doing great at the front in the first half, but now his tires were gone and he was in desperate need for a change. But what he also needed was a bit of a bigger gap ahead of Leclerc otherwise he’d lose his position during the pit stop.

“Oh, shoot!” I said as the fastest lap time appeared on the monitor. It was Leclerc’s.  
“Don’t worry, Max will hear this on the microphone and goes crazy in the next lap,” said Vicky beside me. “Charles is his arch enemy on track originating from their karting days” she added.  
“So they hate each other?” I asked frowning. I can’t say I wasn’t excited to know more about the young ferrari driver. Every time I saw the red ferrari car chasing Max’s red bull those blue, curious eyes with his determined look sneaked back to my mind. 

“I wouldn’t say hate but certainly not love either,” she laughed shaking her head. “I think they’ve very different personalities and hence never got on well. You know, not everybody can be Daniel” She added with a grin. 

It was true. Daniel Ricciardo was charming and he seemed to always have a few nice words and a charming smile to everybody. Not on the track though, he just appeared on the TV screen chasing Bottas quite aggressively. In the last corner the cars front nearly touched. 

“See? That’s what I was talking about” Vicki exclaimed when Max’s name appeared as the fastest in the next lap. “Always racing, these two!” she added with a smile. And so at the next lap the leading red bull pitted. Fast as a lightning the mechanics changed the tires and he managed to drive back to the track just a few meters ahead of Leclerc.  
“Wow, that was close guys! Thanks for the quick fix!” Max said over the radio. He sounded relieved.

After this stunt nothing interesting happened, so in the end Max won the race again. Everybody in the garage shouted so loudly that we could easily hear them from the hospitality. A few people came to congratulate to Vicky as well, before she got up and hurried to the parc fermé to be with the team. I stayed in the television area and accepted the glass of champagne offered by a smiling waitress.

The television screen showed Max jumping out of his car, and hugged every team member within reach. Leclerc arrived shortly after him, he looked of course less satisfied. He hadn’t won a race this season so far, and one could see that he was thirsty for victory. Hamilton came in third after he took over Vettel in the last lap hence he appeared to be happy with the results. However I never liked him no matter that he was English. I’ve always thought he was pretentious and whiny and also using great words as blessed and miracle like he just happened to live his gorgeous life and never did anything for his success. Of course that wasn’t true. He was working hard as every other guy here. Maybe harder. 

The interviews were boring as always. I didn’t even watch them. After lingering around for a while I sneaked out and began to walk to the car park to hail a taxi. It was a busy time for the teams as Vicky explained and I was sure nobody wanted to bother about their guests. They try to pack everything up as quickly as possible and then go and get ready for the evening celebration. 

“Hey lady! Not so quickly!” Somebody shouted after me at the paddock’s exit. I turned back and found Daniel Ricciardo galloping after me. He already changed and had his wet locks pointing out in every possible direction.  
I stopped and waited for him to catch up.  
“Hello there,” I smiled. “Congratulations on your points, well done!”  
“Yeah, whatever” he was smiling but not from his heart I could tell by his look. He shook his head briefly.  
“So you’re not celebrating with Max?” he asked as if the question just occurred to him.  
“No, he’s with his team as he should be. I’m just a friend visiting his uncle.” I explained, emphasising the friend part. I tried to be discreet because I wasn’t sure he knew why was I invited here in the first place.  
“I see,” he said and smiled a bit more, clearly thinking. “So you’re coming to the party right?” he asked.  
“Yes, I still have to congratulate to Max” I nodded.  
“Great, so see you there, Clara” he said. He waved and hurried back to the paddock. 

On the way back to the hotel I was thinking about Max’s win, so I texted him. “Congrats Max, well done. See you tonight.” Although I was pretty sure he won’t be checking his phone this time at least he knows I was thinking about him. 

After I arrived back to the hotel I realized I don’t have that much time left as I imagined before the party starts. So I had a quick shower after which I searched through my suitcase. I had one nice dress packed which was a silver cocktail dress I thought I look OK in it. 

I made my hair and makeup just in time when there was a knock on my door. That should be Vicky I thought because earlier we agreed on going together to the party.  
I hurried to open the door but much to my surprise it was a grinning Max at my door all dressed up in a nice dark blue suit.  
“Hi Clara,” he greeted me and stepped in inviting himself inside. “I came to thank you for your stand by doctoring service,” he said and raised the biggest bottle of champagne I’ve ever seen from behind his back.  
“Wow, thank you!” I smiled widely and took the bottle in my hands “So we toast for the future world champion?” I asked him and he nodded. “Yeah, of course let’s celebrate”. 

Actually we’ve already drunk a good portion of the champagne before Vicky arrived. She first looked a bit surprised that she found Max in my room but she said nothing but joined us. 

We’ve already toasted several times on Max, Vicky, me, the sunny weather, the pirelli tyres, and the Honda engine when Christian called Max and insisted that it’s time for us to join the party because a lot of people there are just waiting for him. So we met Jake on the way down - apparently he needed this much time to get ready - and the four of us took a taxi to the other hotel where the Official Formula 1 After Party was held. The place was crowded, seemed like all the teams have arrived already. 

At the entrance there was a photo wall and Max stopped for some photographers, but I insisted on staying behind. Vicky got quite tipsy by that time and she needed to pee again, like immediately. She took my hand and pulled me with her through the crowd inside, to the club’s restroom. 

“Gosh, Jake looks so good, doesn’t he?” she asked looking in the mirror when she came out of the bathroom stall. I was so surprised I stopped applying my mascara and I couldn’t say anything at first. I mean yes, of course. He is a personal trainer and clearly has a hot body. But I didn’t know anything else about him and Vicky having a thing for him was a little too much information I needed at that moment.  
I think my face showed I wasn’t so enthusiastic because she started to laugh.  
“What? Oh, I guess he’s not Max, right?” she winked. 

Fuck, why everybody thinks that I’m into Max? He is a world famous f1 driver in my uncle’s team, ten years my junior and I’m still his doctor treating him for asthma. We are both hard working, stubborn, sarcastic, and love making fun of others. That’s why we somehow share the same struggles and it makes us feel compassion and sympathy for the other. I’ve had boys as my friends my whole life, so this wasn’t a great deal for me. And honestly all this asking and winking started to get on my nerves.  
“Haha” I grimaced in the mirror, and finished reapplying my mascara. “For the last time, there’s nothing going on between us. But hey, what about getting out of this loo so we could dance finally?” I winked back theatrically. 

The club where the party was looked incredible. The decoration was like an arabian desert fantasy but funny as well. The waiters were dressed like aladdins and I swore I’ve seen some life sized camel figures with disco ball heads near the toilets. There were purple lights flashing everywhere. I’ve started to feel a gentle dullness in my head as we made our way through hundreds of dancing people. I’ve decided that since it is probably my first and last chance in months to dance around all night, I’m determined to have a careless, great time.

We’ve found the boys at the bar talking with Christian, Daniel and Michael. All the guys were dressed up nicely and held drinks in their hands. We also needed drinks to toast with them as Vicky pointed out so we went on to the bar to order. 

“A gin and tonic please!” I told the waiter loudly. The music was good, but too loud so you had to make an effort to be heard. Shortly, he returned with my drink and I gave him some money.  
“Leave it, it’s on me” somebody gently touched my shoulder from behind. It made me turn and I saw it was Daniel. I smiled brightly up to him, and he smiled back. I bit my lips at his sight, he always looked good but now his black shirt fitted him so good on all the right places, it made my eyes wander around his body. I’m sure it was all the champagne. Damn Max and his win. 

“Thanks Daniel” I raised my glass and took a sip. He did as well, then he leaned near my ear so we could hear each other.  
“So Christian told me you’re a doctor working in London,” he said in that amazed tone and face I’ve heard so much before. Everybody makes the same face when they hear what I do every day. It made me proud at first and enjoyed talking about it but it got boring after a while. Now when all I wanted was to let some steam off, drinking and dancing that was absolutely not the topic I wanted to chit-chat about. It made me roll my eyes.

“What?” he asked, clearly didn’t understand my lack of enthusiasm in the topic. “I guess I really want to know more about you.” I just shook my head, even shut my eyes in protest. His expression became much more concerned.  
“Oh please don’t make this face. Not you. You’re serious Daniel. You are never serious. And this is an insanely good party, so please just buy me another drink or say something about my ass instead” I laughed but he didn’t understand the joke or something because he remained serious. 

“Well, I’m dead sure you are not the type of girl who appreciates that kind of talk from guys” he told me and placed his warm hand on my arm as he stepped one step closer. I completely agreed, but I really wanted to party and not telling my life story to basically a stranger. It would kill the vibe. I finished my drink and with my eyes I already started to look for Vicky. Where on earth did she vanish in a minute? 

“Sorry, but I promised Vicky I won’t lose her,” I told Daniel and left him at the bar as I started to make my way through the dancefloor. I found them in the middle of the crowd dancing. Maybe every member of the red bull team was there, some still in their team’s official t-shirt.

“Heeey!” Vicki screamed and hugged me. “Look, they are all from our team!” she shouted. 

I took a look around. A happy and quite drunk group of people were hugging and dancing around in a circle. I danced with them for a couple of songs. Even Christian joined us for a bit, and Max somehow found another big bottle of champagne, so he passed it around and everybody drank from it. Well, except me because it was disgusting and I was convinced it’s a well made bed of viral and bacterial infections, so I just passed it on to Hank - a blond mechanic guy who was dancing next to me. 

I suddenly felt a little sting of my consciousness because of leaving Daniel at the bar. I looked around to find him. It turned out he was near, dancing closely with a beautiful, blonde girl. She was a journalist - I’ve seen her in the paddock earlier that day. She was much prettier and younger than me, and her hand was much closer to Daniel’s ass than mine will ever be. 

A bad feeling began to overtook the previous lightness in my chest. What’s that? Jealousy? For what? No way. I tear my gaze away and shook my head. Suddenly I realised a song is about to begin which I didn’t like very much. I wanted to leave the scene and was in desperate need for another drink. 

I ordered another gin tonic and then I headed to the terrace to cool down a bit. On my way out I found the disco ball headed camels again. That cheered me up a bit. They looked so good I took some pictures of them to show it to my sister later when I get home. I just considered taking a selfie with them when I felt somebody stepping next to me. I turned to my side to see that it was Charles Leclerc in a tight white shirt with blue jeans, and smiled charmingly. At me. Again. He held his glass to his lips and took a sip from what looked like whisky on ice.  
“Funny, no?” he asked in a strong french accent, still smiling. His eyes were bright in these pretty lights, his pupils were dilated and solely focused on me. It reminded me of today, when I watched him before the race. He was smiling but in his eyes were the same determination and curiosity. I wasn’t wondering anymore if he remembered me.  
“What?” I asked back because the busy daydreaming prevented me from actually hearing what he asked.  
“The camels” he pointed to the figures, but never broke eye contact.  
“Oh, yes, the camels!” I nodded giggling “I like them very much. This whole place is amazing,” Now I felt embarrassed in his presence so I started jabbering.  
“I am Charles” he held his hand out to me. I shook his hand, but he refused to let it go. He gently held my fingertips. 

The corridor we were on started to feel unnaturally hot, it was harder to breath and I felt in the tips of my ears that I’m blushing.  
“I’m Clara” I smiled. He looked nice, was in fact gorgeous. I was starting to wonder when comes the point when we stop avoiding the elephant in the room and he admits he was staring at me several times in the last two days?  
“Clara” he nodded slowly. He seemed like tasting my name on his tongue which made me look at his lips.  
“I like your name. Are you Verstappen’s friend?” he asked, his eyebrows raised.  
“I’m here on behalf of Christian. But yes, I know Max” I explained. He nodded, and leaned closer to me, still holding my hand.  
“Well Clara” as he talked I felt his breath on the side of my neck, which brought shivers through my spine. “What about we go somewhere more quiet?” he asked and looked at me again. Then to my lips. With the tip of his tongue he slowly licked his lower lip and clearly bit the inside of it. He didn’t smile anymore.  
“Oh” it was all I could say stunned by his movement. See? I said I couldn’t take compliments.  
“Please” he whispered and took a step closer. “Please” he repeated and - still holding my hand - pulled me gently leading through the short corridor to the opposite way, away from the partying crowd. It apparently led us to the bright lobby of the hotel. 

The whole situation was so absurd, like it wasn’t happening to me. Leclerc let go of my hands on the plain sight and I felt instantly like I’m on some incognito, forbidden quest. I took a quick look around but the lobby was almost empty and the few people around didn’t bother to take a look.  
“This way” I felt Leclerc’s hand on the small of my back as he pushed me gently towards the elevator. 

I didn’t even think about what’s happening until I’ve found myself giggling in the elevator with the young ferrari driver. He stopped in front of me very close as both his hands started caressing my side. I was drunk, so I only chuckled on the thought of this absurd situation as he selected the button of his floor. 

As the doors closed the absurdity quickly became a reality. The exact moment the doors closed and we couldn’t be seen by anyone Leclerc turned back to me and he crashed his lips to mine. His kiss were soft and warm but equally hungry and passionate at the same time. I opened my mouth in surprise. As it turned out he was only waiting for this moment. He slid his tongue quickly inside of my mouth. He licked my tongue and I made a small noise, as he grounted contently. He placed one hand on my hips and caressed it with small circles gently while his other hand slowly wandered through my back to finally have a grasp in my hair. I gasped for air but he pulled me back immediately. 

His kiss was so good it made me dizzy and forget about anything else in the world.


	5. Love me like you do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Here it is. I hope you enjoy! ;)

We nearly didn’t make it to his room. 

As the elevator dinged on the right floor he teared himself away from kissing me with a desperate sigh but instantly reached for my hand to pull me after him. He hurried towards to the end of the corridor where his suite was but I was much slower than him in my high heels. He realized I wasn’t as fast as him so he stopped and pulled me in a tight hug giving me another passionate kiss.

“Come on Clara” he muttered against my lips as his hands slipped to caress my behind.  
“I have to have you for myself. I can’t just watch you anymore,” he squeezed both of my buttcheeks. I gasped at his firm touch. He got behind me so he basically pushed me to his room. I giggled again, I felt like a drunk teenager, but drunk on alcohol not on love. 

The door unlocked with a ping as he opened it with his card and scooped me inside. 

His hotel suite was even bigger than mine, but the view was just as gorgeous. The balcony door was slightly open and the room was dimly lit. His - mostly ferrari red - belongings were all around the living room area and a white MacBook Pro was left open on the table. 

I didn’t have more time to take a look around because two strong hands pushed me against the back of the closing door. Leclerc attacked my mouth again with his plush lips and caged me on both side with his hands. I felt his hot body pushed to mine, and a same burning feeling started to flow through my body. His lips started to wander down my neck. His kisses and small licks felt so good I shivered through my whole body. 

“You are so beautiful” he whispered to my ear as he slowly slipped his hands beneath my dress. Finally, his words made me gather enough courage to touch him with my shaking hands. 

Until this time I was afraid if I do anything myself this whole scene just slips away like a dream. But his warm whisper breathed on my skin somehow made it a bit more real so I placed my trembling hands to rest on his chest. Through the soft material of his white shirt I felt the hard muscles of his pecs. He wasn’t strongly built more like the athletic type, but it was evident he worked out regularly. He continued to caress my sides while slowly pushing my dress upwards while I found the buttons of his shirt and started to unbutton them. 

He froze for a second and looked me in the eye. His gaze was shady and his heavy breathing felt warm on my lips. That was the point of no return. 

I’m convinced only the alcohol could make me nod and kiss him that fast. He smiled in my mouth and he tentatively traced my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. I smiled at his gentle move as I finished unbuttoning his shirt, then I helped him to remove my dress. 

As I finally stood in my - fortunately matching - underwear in front of him and he took his time to check me out resting his gaze a little longer on my curves. He looked starstruck and I felt my internal organs slowly liquifying. 

“My god,” he sighed after a few seconds and stepped closer to hug me.  
“From the moment I saw you in the paddock I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said gently pushing me towards the bedroom.  
“So that’s why you were staring at me!” I laughed. “Several times, actually,” I backed until I felt my legs bumping to the side of the bed.  
“Yes. And I would kill anybody else watching you that way,” he said and gently pushed me down to the bed. 

He climbed on the top of me and starting to caress my breast while whispering sweet things, in our heavy panting I only understood the half of them. I’ve already felt the wetness between my legs, and quickly had my hand wander in the direction of his pants to unbuckle his belt. I immediately found his bulge, and I squeezed it, making him gasp and swallow hard. I took this as an encouragement so I unzipped his fly and in no time his carefully shaved cock was in my hands. God, not only this man looked stunning but even his dick was beautiful. I stroke it gently a few times but then impatiently fitted it to my already dripping entrance. The feeling made him groan out loudly but then he froze, eyes shot open.

“Clara, you are not ready yet,” he breathed as he tried to back away.  
“Fuck it, I was so ready for your cock on the grid this morning” I said as I grabbed his hand to feel my wetness. His blue eyes widened in surprise.  
“Thank god,” he grunted and with that he pushed inside me with one single ruthless move. We both moaned loudly by the pleasure and he started to move slowly in and out of my pussy. He even grabbed one of my leg so he can push deeper and as I felt the tip of his cock reaching my cervix I squeezed my eyes shut. I shivered again as I was feeling my climax coming closer.

“Clara, open your eyes” he ordered after a couple of slow trusts. To emphasise his claim he started to move faster inside me.  
“I want to see your eyes as you come on my cock,” His words pushed me through the edge and I came hard and long with my vagina squeezing his length. He was only waiting for that because the next moment he released himself deep inside me, moaning my name. He collapsed next to me. He was sweating and still out of breath but that didn’t stop him to hug me and plant a couple of tired kisses on my breasts.

“Fuck, that was even better than I imagined,” he said. I could only smile and nod. Listening to his panting a content feeling enveloped me which I haven’t feel in a long time. I smiled and realised I’m dead tired at the same time. We were laying like that for a couple of minutes then he hugged me and started to caress my side with lazy movements. It made me fall asleep shortly.

The only good thing about drinking a massive amount of alcohol is that you wake up early the next morning and you can make your walk of shame unnoticed. Actually, the booze messes with your neurotransmitters, your body produces a load of glutamine which destroys your much needed REM cycles and it unavoidably wakes you up. 

It was still dark, but I could see the first lights of sunrise through the drawn curtains. I felt that Leclerc’s hand was still holding me tightly and felt his warm, steady breathing in the hollow of my neck.

It felt nice but it was way past go-time. I managed to sneak out of the bed, dress up, gather my things and leave without waking him up. I was quite proud of myself. Also I wasn’t feeling guilty or ashamed. It was the most perfect one night stand a girl could ask for. The guy was smoking hot, the chemistry was real and the sex was amazing. 

I was still smiling as I waved a taxi in the relatively cold dawn. The hotel was quiet, it seemed like the party was already over.  
I checked my phone in the car. It was 04:27 and I had two missed calls from Vicky and also one from Max. Shit.  
It was too late anyway, I couldn’t explain myself, only in the morning. I doubted that they’d leave the hotel before noon, not likely based on the way they partied when I left. 

I went to my room and crawled in the bed immediately, I didn’t even cared to take off my dress. 

I woke up to a loud banging on the door. I looked at the clock and it was nearly 10. My head hurt and I was so thirsty I headed to the mini bar first thing instead of the door.  
After I gulped down one whole bottle of water I went to check out who was so determined to wake me up.

I opened the door and I saw a tired Vicky standing on the corridor, checking her phone.  
“Hey,” I said in a harsh voice.  
“Clara,” she looked relieved to see me still alive.  
“Thank god you’re here. We worried about you. What happened to you? Did you leave early?” she asked, and noticed my party dress which I was still wearing.  
“Oh, I’m fine,” I said desperate to sound casual.  
“I just didn’t feel good, I guess I drank one gin and tonic too many,” I said and smiled at her reassuringly. 

OK, I lied, but I still thought we weren’t so close to tell each other about all the secret random hookups. Especially about ones with 22 year old drivers from their rival teams.

“Great,” she nodded not looking really sure.  
“Because Max told me to convince you to come back to England with us!” she winked.  
“It would be so great, I can tell you about the rest of the night,” she added confidentially.  
“Fine, when is that?” I asked checking my phone again to see the time.  
“Well, we leave in an hour,” she answered. I calculated fast that maybe I can be presentable in an hour.  
“Ok, thanks. I’ll be downstairs,” I promised and practically slammed the door at her to start to pack my things, take off my clothes and brush my teeth at the same time. Just exactly like the household accidents I regularly hear about in the Emergency Room. 

In fact, I was ready in less than an hour. It felt nice to finally wear some comfortable jeans with converse shoes, and not those killer high heels. 

I sat down in the hotel lobby in one of those big fluffy armchairs and drowsily started to scroll through my Instagram. It was full of Max’s victory from yesterday. I couldn’t resist to like a good bunch of them.  
“Oh, it’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?” a chirpy voice asked. I looked up and found a happy Max standing above me.  
“Hey,” I greeted him with a friendly smile.  
“How are you?” he looked at me with some concern in his blue eyes.  
“We missed you from the party!”  
“Yeah, you know maybe I’m too old for this shit,” I told him with a grimace.  
“You know life gets incredibly hard over thirty,” I chuckled.  
“Yeah, of course,” he laughed briefly but his look turned a bit more serious again.  
“You probably have no idea, but you really look better than a lot of those fake pit girls lurking around us, around here. And of course you are more intelligent” he added with a smirk.  
“Hah, thanks Max I feel a lot better now,” I said full of sarcasm. He looked at me for a long second, thinking.  
“Seriously Clara, I wasn’t the only one who missed you from the party” he said in the end. It seemed like he decided to finish our conversation with this and he started to fiddle with his phone.  
“What? Who else?” I asked immediately raising my eyebrows. 

He just looked up at me with a smile but said nothing. I didn’t have more time to continue questioning him because Vicky arrived and told us to get in the cars which took us to the airport. 

I got in one car with the her and we talked and laughed all along the thirty minute long way to the airport. 

The private airport lounge was full of formula 1 personnel. It felt like to be in the paddock but everybody - well, mostly - wore their normal clothes. I guess the media contracts don’t apply to the plane rides.  
As we arrived and found seats to sit down Vicky immediately started to work on her laptop mumbling something about China. I got comfortable and decided to only close my eyes to rest it for a minute but I shortly fell into a light sleep. 

I had no idea how long did I snooze but a strange feeling emerge inside me to wake me up. I opened my eyes and looked around. Nothing changed around me. Nothing except Daniel Ricciardo was sitting next to me and probably watched me sleep because now he had the biggest annoying shit eating smile on his aussie face looking at me. 

“Aw Clara, you were so cute,” he laughed and patted my arm.  
“Too bad we have a plane to board in one minute, otherwise I swear I’d even offer you my shoulder to sleep on,” he added and got up from his chair.  
I blinked and didn’t answer him. I was still half asleep but already felt I was blushing.  
I stood up as well and followed the rest of the team to the plane. 

I made my way along the corridor and at the back I saw Christian waving at me and pointing to the seat next to his. I sat next to him with a smile.  
“Hey uncle,” I greeted him and settled comfortably. I also waved to Adrian sitting in the next aisle.  
“Hi Clara! How is my family doctor?” he asked and shoved his phone into his pocket.  
“Yeah, great. This weekend was so much fun. Thank you again for inviting me.”  
He nodded and it looked like he was thinking strongly.  
“Maybe, you would like to come again?” he asked me after a minute.  
“Sure, that would be great” I nodded without any hesitation. Somehow it made him think a bit longer.  
“Listen Clara, we have an idea” he started and looked at Adrian who nodded in agreement.  
“What do you think about working for us?” he asked. “Working for Red Bull?”  
“What?” I was confused. They already had their own doctor at the team. I’ve met Lee in the garage, he was quite nice.  
“Well, Lee is retiring in a year,” said Adrian leaning over to us.  
“And it would be good to have somebody competent and trustworthy coming after him” he added.  
“And someone who get on well with our drivers,” Christian looked at me with a confident look. 

I was so shocked by their offer - job offer - that I couldn’t even say anything at first. I mean the weekend was really a nice experience but a job like that would basically mean changing my whole life from working in a city hospital 24 hours a day to hopping on a plane every week to travel to a distant country with racing drivers, mechanics and journalists. 

“Just consider your uncle’s offer,” said Adrian calmly.  
“You’d fit right in” he smiled at me.  
“Well, okay,” I guess. I flashed a weak smile back at him.  
“I will.”

They didn’t really bother me in the rest of the flight. They were chatting with each other about the modifications in the aerodynamics for the next race and I was listening to some music to relax and think. 

Before landing I’ve decided to go to the restroom quickly. On my way I passed Max who grabbed my hand.  
“Hey, what did you say?” he asked enthusiastically.  
“To what?” I frowned.  
“Didn’t they ask you to stay?” he lowered his voice. Daniel was sleeping next to him with his mouth fully open, snoring gently as his yellow hoodie was covering half of his face. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Well, they have,” I said looking back at Max. I should’ve thought they talked to him first about this.  
“So?” he smiled. “What did you say?”  
“Nothing,” I answered.  
“I need some time first to think this through,” I added which made he grimace.  
“I thought so,” he nodded with a serious expression on his face.  
“Listen, I’d be flattered to have you in our team. So please say yes!” He seemed so honest and eager that it made me smirk.  
“Yeah, we’ll see. But thanks, this means a lot,” I squeezed his hand which was still holding mine and left him behind at his seat.  
I used the toilet then returned to my seat. In a short time, the pilot switched back the seat belt sign.

We landed in London in the late afternoon. It was cold and rainy. Again. I said goodbye to Christian and Max - the rest just got lost in the crowd of the press and relatives.  
“I’ll call you this week” my uncle said as I got in my cab. I waved and closed the door so I didn’t have to say anything as a response.

I fished my phone out of my pocket when I was in the car to call my sister. I got two new messages.  
One was from Vicky.  
_Hey, I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye but I wish we had more race to watch together! Please?_  
Obviously, she was in this whole madness as well. The other one was from an unknown number.  
_I really enjoyed last night. But I missed you in the morning._   
_Fuck._


	6. Can we pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, the story reached 500 hits and 20 kudos! I love all of you and this story so much, I'm writing all the time :D 
> 
> I love this chapter. I hope you'll like it too.

_How did your shift go?_

I’ve read the message and threw my phone on the passenger seat of my car and I leaned with my head to the steering wheel. Actually it was fucking tiring. Cruel even. I sighed.

We had a major trauma case that needed a 10 hour long operation but the patient died in the ICU two hours later. Then I was called to a complicated C section when the mother nearly bled out. She lost 1.5 liters of blood. 

Now that I’ve finished I only wanted to cry, but I was too tired to do so. It happened more times than it should.

The message was from Leclerc. I had no idea where did he get my number from but he’s kept messaging me since I arrived home from Bahrain. In the last 3 days I was extremely busy with work so I didn’t really answer to him. However I didn’t really see the real point in us keeping in touch ‘cause I was sure I won’t accept Christian’s job offer to join the Red Bull Team as their team doctor. 

But I was more convinced about that I am not going to see Charles Leclerc again, no matter how piercing his eyes are or how good and satisfying the sex with him was. 

To be honest, in that exact minute after that hell of a shift, any new lifestyle far away from any hospital seemed promising. 

After a couple of minutes I managed to start the car and drove home straight away. It was around 10 am when I fell in my bed and slept for a solid 9 hours. 

When I woke up I was hungry, thirsty and still moody. I took my phone to order something to eat. As I browsed through the burger section of a nearby place I got another message. 

_Did you get some rest?_ It was Leclerc again. I typed fast. 

_Yeah, well I feel better now. How about you?_ I guess there’s no need to be rude I thought and I ordered a vegan cheese burger with extra french fries on the mobile application. 

By the time I was eating we already chatted quite continuously. I was sure I’m just bored, burned out. And lonely.

Then there was a pause and I thought we are finished, but suddenly the next message was _So, I’m in London._  
And I felt my heart start pumping all the blood to my neck and head. I felt hot and dizzy.

_And I’d like to see you._

What? I imagined he’s in Monaco, currently preparing to go clubbing with five blonde eighteen year old girls. I searched his instagram account in a hurry so maybe I can find out if he’s just fooling with me. He posted a picture of himself laying in a flight seat about 5 hours ago captioning “hey England” and some raining emoji.

It was 9:14 when I messaged him my address. And it was 9:37 when the doorbell rang. 

By that time fortunately I’ve managed to shower and change to some jeans and a white t-shirt. I was sure it was a last minute booty call and I didn’t want to imagine much behind it. I felt sad and tired, but the images about his lips sucking on my nipples or his squeeze on my bum made my heart racing every time it flashed back to my mind. 

At that moment I didn’t see why couldn’t I let some - more - steam off, messing around a bit more with him. I didn’t have any doubt about his intentions and it was justified as soon as I opened the front door. 

“Hey,” I greeted him with a shy smile and looked up to him. He smiled at me and small wrinkles gathered around his gorgeous eyes, filled with curiosity and desire.   
“Hi,” his smile widened. He only wore a black sweater and black jeans. I guess he was driven here, so he didn’t need a coat?  
“What are you doing in London?” I couldn’t resist to ask frowning. He seemed like he didn’t even hear the question, his gaze now was fixed on my lips, and he casually stepped over my threshold and closed the door behind his back.  
“Do you really care about that?” he whispered, and leaned even closer grabbing my waist and held me firmly. I shook my head.   
“No, not really.” And with that I closed the gap between our lips and kissed him deep. 

As he welcomed my tounge with his, the memories from the hot, drunken night in Bahrain flashed back to my mind. Our clothes came off quickly, and by the time we were in my bedroom I was only in my panties. 

“You are so gorgeous” he said and took my breasts in his hands gently squeezing them. It made me let out a small moan. I felt my cheeks blush.  
“What are you doing to me?” he asked his lips already brushing against my neck.   
“Make you come, I guess?” I giggled while slowly sneaked my hand in his boxer to find his already rock hard cock. I grabbed it and slowly started stroking it. I was pretty sure he liked it because he squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back. His response made me braver, so slowly I lowered myself to my knees. I could see him watching me behind his half closed lids and I smirked. I licked him through a couple of times, in return his dick twitched twice. I gently let it in my mouth. He groaned and entwined his long fingers in my brown locks. 

It didn’t take him long before he came in my mouth with a loud groan.   
I stood up and looked at him with a smirk while I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. 

He blinked at me like he’s watching a unicorn playing golf in his backyard.   
“God, you’re…” he started but clearly forgot what he wanted to say, because he pulled me in his arms. “Come here,” he said and kissed me again. 

He didn’t need any recovery time. Thank god for the 22 year olds and their stamina. 

We backed to the bed and I fell back on my back. He was inside of me in seconds. My body was more than ready for him. My pussy was dripping and welcomed back his cock with a throbbing orgasm coming in minutes before he came again.

“Whoa,” It was all I could say through my heavy breathing as he collapsed next to me. He immediately swept me into his arms. I realized how tired I was, so without saying anything else I shut my eyes and let the sound his even breathing make me fall asleep. 

I woke up in the early morning to a strange feeling. I realized it’s Leclerc.   
Between my tights.   
Licking my labia with oh so gentle strokes of his tongue.  
I moaned and tried to reach his head, only grabbing a handful of his soft brown hair.   
“What? What are you doing?” I asked. He answered with his middle finger sliding in my vagina.   
“Hm? What do you think?” he asked casually and kissed the side of my tight. “I’m paying back the favour.”

And so he put his mouth back exactly to my most sensitive point, simultaneously moving in and out with his finger. I threw my head back on the pillow. He was really good, I had no idea how long he was doing this before I woke up but I already felt my slick thickly covering his fingers. He put inside another finger and sucked on my clitoris. 

“Charles, I’m gonna come” I breathed as my body started trembling.   
“Come,” he said. “Come for me.”

I didn’t need more, I came hard again as he licked every part of me. I was shaking but he manage to held down my tights with his strong arms so I remained opened up for him to clean up all my juices. He finished and stood up still looking at my pussy.

“I need to leave soon” he said in a husky voice “Uhm, my flight is at 6”. He scratched his nape. 

I turned my head to the left to check the time. It was half past five. I blinked. 

“What? Will you catch it? Do you want me to call a cab?” I got up and started to search for my phone. He grabbed me in the move by the waist.   
“No need to worry Clara. It’s a private jet,” he said with an apologetic smirk. 

Fuck, of course it is. How could I forget. He kissed my lips and gave me a cocky smile. On his lips I tasted myself. 

“I already called a taxi, it’s waiting downstairs. Just wanted to thank you first. Properly,” he winked and pulled up his jeans. I felt my face turn red, but shaked my head quickly trying to cool it down. I started to help him collect his clothes. 

Once he was ready and standing in my doorway he looked back at me. His eyes weren’t that bright as when he arrived, I saw maybe a bit of sadness in there? 

I didn’t know what to do, I thought going to him and kiss him goodbye would be too cheesy romantic. 

He just stood there watching me for a second then said “God, I’ll miss you” and closed the door behind him. 

I blinked a couple of times processing what has happened in the last hours then realized I actually have a life to live so I went to make some coffee. 

As I was having breakfast I scrolled through social medias and found Charles’ new post. On the photo he was on a plane and held a charming smile. 

His caption was _My short visit in London was full of pleasure, going to miss it._

I giggled and couldn’t stop myself liking the picture.

By the time of the afternoon rounds my phone pinged. It was a message from Charles. 

_Will you miss me too?_

I let out a sarcastic snort and put the phone back in my pocket. I shook my head. Yeah, like I should miss a 22 year old world famous racing driver, ten years my junior. 

Like we could have anything reminding of a relationship before he realises i’m not what he’s looking for and leaves me for an instagram influencer who just struggled through GCSE but already has ten Gucci bags chihuahua at home. I’m going to be weeping in my on call room and they spend every other weekend in Ibiza with fifteen friends. 

Now I had another strong reason to say no to Christian’s job offer. If I would accept it, that would mean to inevitably run into Charles and that would be awkward. 

For me mainly, since I didn’t think he would care at all. 

When I got home late in the evening I called my sister, Greta to update her about all of the happenings this week and have her blessing on my decision. We were pretty close but only calling each other a week or so because she lived in Sweden and was working constantly. She was also a doctor, but a surgeon which meant she had very little time for family or anything beside her work in general. 

“Clara, I honestly don’t understand you” she said quite disappointed after I told her everything.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You just got the opportunity of your life,” she said, with a hint of anger in her voice now. “Working and travelling with Christian and his team is the step out of your comfort zone you’re always talking about and searching for. Now that you’ve given the opportunity, you just ignore it because it scares you. But it suppose to be scary unless it’s not exciting” she jabbered.   
“But what about Leclerc?” I pointed out.   
“I don’t care about him. He’s just experimenting,” she answered hastily. “No offense, but you said he’s probably already into his next fling.” She was right. I doubted he would care at all. 

“So take another look into this and call our uncle tomorrow. Or what’s better, visit him in Milton Keynes and sign that fucking contract already,” she said impatiently.   
“God, OK I’ll think it through,” I promised and we talked about her for a couple more minutes before we hang up.

I spent my night mainly tossing and turning around in my bed. When I finally fell asleep I had crazy, messed up dreams about being an f1 driver and not knowing how to drive. 

When I got up in the morning my head was clear and I knew I have to accept my uncle’s offer. No matter how much it scared me, I needed a change in my life and that was it. 

First I called the hospital and called in sick. Then I called Christian. He was very pleased and told me to meet him in their headquarter that afternoon. 

As I settled in for a run in the nearby park I got another message from Charles. 

_I will have another meeting in London next week._

I grimaced and felt my chest heavy when I typed back my answer. 

_We can’t see each other again. Sorry._

Then while I broke my 10K record I didn’t hear him calling me nor answered his text.

In Milton Keynes the Red Bull Headquarter was amazing. It was still busy in the afternoon at six when Christian guided me through the building. 

We met Max in the simulation room. Actually he was swearing and hitted the steering wheel in anger because his lap time wasn’t good enough. The engineer next to him looked startled. 

“I can see you aren’t short of breath,” I giggled after I managed to sneak behind him unnoticed. He turned around and a huge smile appeared on is face.   
“Clara!” he shouted my name and climbed out of the simulator as fast as he could. He hugged me tight.   
“I told him not to worry,” he smiled still squeezing the life out of me. “And that you will say yes!” He said but in spite of what he said he looked quite relieved.   
“Yeah, well anyways. I think you have enough work to do now,” said Christian strictly.   
“So we will leave you to it.” He grabbed my elbow and guided me out of the simulation room but before we left Max was signing me that he will call me later. 

We talked with Christian in his office for nearly two hours and in the end I signed the contract for the rest of the year. We agreed that I’ll be working next to Lee as the team’s second doctor and be responsible for Max’s health personally. In return I’ll get to double my salary and I could order whatever equipment i needed for working. All of this got me very enthusiastic.

Now that I’ve made my decision I felt so excited I couldn’t wait for the next weekend when we go to China. 

The next day I went in to the hospital and asked for a no paid holiday for the rest of the year. Normally they would never let you take that, but the system lacks anaesthesiologist so they let us do more than the others. The HR secretary even wanted to convince me to agree on doing some shifts in my freetime while I’d be back in the UK. I promised to think it through. Maybe, if I’ll be bored I could come back to work to maintain my knowledge.

In the evening Max called me. First he apologized for not calling me yesterday but their tests went on late and he just slept in the office so they could continue early in the morning. Now that they’re done, he wanted to meet me and hang out, celebrate me joining the team. 

We met at his place, in an apartment he rented on the east side of London. He greeted me with a huge smile and grabbed the container with the lasagna I promised I’d bring along.   
“Are you not on a diet or something?” I asked him as I hanged my parka on the coat hanger.   
“Yes, I am. It was spinach in it right?” He looked at me. I nodded. “Well, let’s concentrate on that!” He smiled wide and put the food in the microwave. 

As we were eating we talked about what it’d be like to work together at RBR.   
“It will be awesome, you’ll see!” he explained. “Of course, you’ll have to learn a lot.”  
“Oh I do?” I asked curiously, his face was serious.  
“Yes, about racing and cars,” his smile hiding in the corner of his lips began to give him away.   
“Have you ever tried the simulator?”  
I buried my head in my hands as I shook it. I already knew what was coming. 

“Well, then it’s my honour doctor to show it to you!” He yelled, got up from the table and grabbed my hand to show the way to the living room equipped with his precious simulator.   
“I’m not sure it is in my contract,” I smiled and opened a bottle of beer. I needed something to ease the pain.   
In half an hour I think learned the basics but Max was sure I was a threat to myself and everybody else on track.   
“No, Clara, shit!” He exclaimed at one point. “You can’t shortcut there, you are not Kimi!”  
We laughed so hard I felt my stomach hurt. 

After I decided I’m like Kimi after all - so doing whatever the fuck I want on the tracks after having three beers - I decided it’s time to go home. 

“Why would you go?” Max asked casually. “You can sleep in the guest room, Lando and Dan do it all the time,” he shrugged.   
“Blimey, I really hope not at the same time!” I giggled.   
“A gentleman never tells” Max smiled and winked as he drank up his own beer.   
“So, pick a movie!” He pointed at his laptop where Netflix was already opened. After browsing around for a couple of minutes I jumped up.  
“Yes, just what I was looking for!” Max sat down on the couch next to me with a bowl of hot popcorn in his lap.   
“What? A documentary on Flat Earthers? Really?” He asked with much disbelief. I rolled my eyes.   
“Shut up, it’ll be fun,” I shoot a look at him as I started the film. “You know popcorn is also not dietary, right?”


	7. Gimme shelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I was on vacation :) 
> 
> However, I also love this chapter very much, here you are.

Next morning I woke up to Max tickling my feet. It was still dark outside. 

“What on earth are you doing up this early?” I asked, and tried to hide my legs under the blanket, which he didn’t let.  
“Come on Clara, we are going to work out!” he squealed and grabbed the blanket. “If I had to wake up to Jake’s call then you’re coming with me too.”

I shook my head determined. No workout, maybe I still have a chance to go back to my own bed if I head straight home.  
“No, because you know what? My uncle just called me and they have a medical emergency in Milton Keynes.” I explained my randomly fabricated excuse. “So I have to leave immediately.” I added and got up from the bed.  
“Yeah, I guess then you’re coming with me because Jake and I are going to Milton Keynes,” he laughed and handed me a hot a cup of coffee.  
“Fuck,” I said and he smiled triumphantly. I grabbed the cup and drank the strong espresso.  
“Don’t worry, it’s not gonna hurt only a bit,” he said patting my arm.  
“Well, that’s what doctors usually say to patients, before an incredibly painful procedure,” I looked at him as he grinned in his cup.  
“Yeah, and Jake says it too.”

As it turned out Red Bull Headquarters had an enormous gym complex and also a nice park to run around. Employees could use it in their freetime after work but Max and Jake usually came here as well to train while they’re in England.  
We greeted Jake who first hugged me and congratulated on my new job. We chatted a little then changed to our workout gear. 

Jake promised me that he’d be gentle. I should’ve thought he was lying because of his wide smile. I got other tasks than Max, always easier ones with less repeats, but at the end of our two hour long workout session I felt completely destroyed. I put down the kettlebell I was holding and collapsed to the ground, sweating and grunting, while the other two were casually chatting next to me.  
“Clara, you were good,” said Jake. “You have to work out with us more,” he added and handed me a bottle of water. I thanked and after drinking it I finally managed to get up.  
I excused myself and headed to have a much needed shower.

Later, I went to the cafeteria to have a breakfast and spend the little time I had before the conference meeting that was scheduled for that day. I drank my coffee and ate my omelette in relative peace, then I headed to the top floor where the meeting rooms were.

Honesty, I didn’t know what have I thought but not that I’d be introduced to a hundred people as first thing at that pre-China meeting. 

As I entered the room, Vicky grabbed my arm immediately and seated me in the first row, next to Adrian and Gianpierre. Both of them greeted me with a smile. In a minute my uncle also arrived and the meeting started.  
“Well, hello everyone,” he began “First of all let me introduce you to my niece, Clara Horner who will also be our team doctor from next race!” he clapped smiling and the others followed. I felt my face turn red instantly. I’ve never liked to speak or be spoken of publicly. I stood up and turned to the crowd. 

“Thank you Christian,” I started. “I am really glad to have the opportunity to work in this great team,” I smiled, because I saw Max grinning like a fool in the back row with Daniel.  
“Also, I want you to feel free to find me with your problems, and I’d be glad to help,” I added. Christian handed me a Red Bull t-shirt ceremoniously which I thanked than I sat down. 

Other than that, the meeting was mostly about the logistics part of the race and the main program points for the weekend. It was Tuesday and some of the builders have already arrived in Shanghai, our flight was scheduled for the next day. 

I turned back to Lee who was sitting behind me, and asked what equipment should we bring ourselves.  
“Don’t worry honey, everything you need is already there” he winked at me and patted my shoulders. I scoffed and turned back. 

Christian was about to finish his monologue on tyre management in the garage.  
“So that’s all folks. We all hope it will be the same fenomenal race as last year. Right, Daniel?” he smirked and looked at the back to his australian driver.  
“Yeah baby!” Daniel raised both of his hands at the back and the crowd bursted out in giggles.  
After that the meeting was pretty much over, some people remained in their seats chatting with each other. 

I got up and walked to the door, on the way I waved briefly to the driver boys. Max waved back and looked back to his phone but Daniel jumped up from his seat immediately.  
“Clara,” he squealed. “Oh my god, come here,” he scooped me in a tight hug. I buried my face in his hoodie, and realised it smelled amazing. It was musky - with something fresh? _It’s not something, it’s him_ \- I heard a little voice in my head.  
He smelled so good I didn’t want to let him go. He hugged me tight for a couple of seconds, I felt his strong arms tighten around me. He even caressed my back up and down a little while but he released me just before it could make the situation embarrassing. Suddenly, I found the room’s temperature a little too hot.  
“I couldn’t be happier for you joining us,” he said still smiling with his all-teeth-smile.  
“Yeah, I hope it’ll work out fine,” I nodded happily. He held my gaze for a couple of seconds, until Max decided to finish whatever he was doing with his phone and got up from his seat.  
“Anyways, Dan we are expected to meet the boys in the sim room in ten” he said casually and stretched out his arms.  
“Sure” Dan agreed. “We have to go now, see you tomorrow?” he asked me. I nodded and we said goodbyes. 

I drove home and packed my bag for the next day. I felt excited about the new job, the travelling and the people I’d meet. I’d never been to China and even if I’d probably spend most of the time at the circuit the thought of the new adventure gave me chills.

Next day I met Vicky at the airport. She was talking on her phone so we couldn’t really greet each other but she gave me my tickets and pointed with her finger over her shoulder to the seating area where some other Red Bull team members were waiting. I took a seat and relaxed. In no time the others arrived as well, only Max and Daniel were missing.  
Vicky joined me shortly.  
“Hey girl, you look good,” she looked at me. “Jake told me you worked out together,” she added with a hint of jealousy in her voice.  
“Yes, and I can’t sit like normal people since,” I said sitting down slowly. My glutes were burning.  
“Hey, next time you should join us!” I suggested to appease her.  
“Yeah, like I have the time,” she snorted. “I’m making phone calls without a pause for 72 hours now, dealing with the Chinese press. They don’t understand that we only have one media day, not a whole month to spend there.”  
“Well, you don’t have reception on the flight,” I winked and patted her arm to make her stand up as everyone began to go to the gate.  
I looked around one last time, but there was still no sight of the drivers.  
“They are coming on Romain’s private jet,” Vicky seemed to have guessed who I was looking for.  
“I see,” I said and I tried not to sound too disappointed. 

We sat at the back of the plane and talked through the flight. Vicky was nice to hang around, she was a good listener and also helped a lot, answered a lot of my questions regarding Formula 1 and the whole craziness around it.  
“It’ll be fun, don’t worry” she tried to make me feel better. “You’ll get used to this. First thing we are going to a Red Bull charity event with the boys. I’ll be great!” She smiled. “They made some crazy cars from scraps and Max and Dan will have to race in those,” she added.  
“So I attend these events?” I asked curiously.  
“Yes, usually Lee comes, to be there just in case you know,” she nodded. “But nothing ever happens, we keep them safe.”  
“Yeah you keep them safe by putting them in a metal box going at 300 kph” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. We giggled. 

The arrival to Shanghai was smooth, but sadly the weather wasn’t that great. It was late night, cold and it was raining heavily.  
_We brought the English weather as well_ \- I thought. I squeezed my raincoat tighter around my body and sighted desperately as I began to pull my suitcase towards the hotel’s entrance. 

Vicky said she still has some work to do before dinner so I headed to my room and packed out. The hotel and my room was nice, not as nice as it was in Bahrain, but still cozy and elegant. I had a huge double bed what basically asked me to bury myself in it but I tried to resist the urge since we agreed on going out to have some dinner with Vicky. I sorted out my new Red Bull clothes which I just got from a girl named Tina, responsible for “team identity and marketing”. 

I was just passing the time for more than two hours already and my stomach was constantly rumbling.  
_What on earth is Vicky organising at 11 pm?_ \- I thought but five seconds after that somebody knocked on my door. I opened it and saw it’s Vicky. Along with Max. And Daniel. My eyes went wide in surprise, Vicky flashed an apologetic look towards me.  
“Hey, we are going out to celebrate your new job!” she exclaimed. “So sorry, these two were super late,” she said. “I am starving and I know you are too”.  
“Yeah, sorry Clara,” Max added. “We had to wait for Daniel to find his chicest clothes” he rolled his eyes dramatically.  
“Oh, shut up man,” Daniel elbowed him in the side but his ears turned slightly pink by the comment.  
“Anyways, can we leave?” Clara asked impatiently. “I’m dying here!”  
“Yeah, let’s take ourselves out to chinese food!” We all grunted on Daniel’s lame comment. 

I’ve found it adorable that the dinner was dedicated to celebrate me joining the team. Michael and Jake also came, and even Christian joined us for dessert later. We talked and laughed a lot, mainly about Max and Daniel messing with each other. It turned out that a couple of drivers flew together to China and under Grosjean’s instagram post about it they made a mess, commenting that they only like him because of free flights. We were out until 2 am, but then my uncle ordered everybody to go to bed and have a rest.

Next day we met after breakfast and were taken to a park in Shanghai where a huge Red Bull event was organised. Maybe thousands of fans were there, waiting for the stars. After last year’s victory one could hear Daniel’s name more which made Max a bit annoyed.  
“Hey Dan, I’ll win this shit now and Sunday as well so next year you can listen to them chanting my name!” he said before they entered the stage.  
“Dream baby, just dream,” Dan answered grinning and one could see in his eyes how he enjoyed the fame. 

The anchorman asked them a few questions and then he explained the rules of the race. The students of ShanghaiTech University designed and built two odd looking cars from recycled materials. Both of them had nothing to resemble of a car but at least they had one seat each and safety belts. The boys couldn’t be more eager to try them. After the anchorman’s whistle they ran to the cars and hopped in them to race through the park. The crowd loved it. At the beginning Max was on the lead but then Daniel managed to get next to him and a crazy chase begun, taking them to a little pool they had to cross. Max cut in front of him and fled through the water. He didn’t realised he hadn’t left enough space for Dan to maneuver on the narrow road and his car got smashed to the side of the pond and turned over. The poorly built car fell to pieces and I instantly felt my stomach clench as I saw Dan make a painful expression.

I ran to the scene as fast as I could. The water in the pool wasn’t that deep, but it looked dirty. Dan was standing in the middle of it surrounded by the wreckage of his car.  
“Dan!” I shouted out of breath. “Are you OK?” He winced holding his left arm.  
“Yeah, it’s only my arm. A piece hurt it bad,” he said and showed me the limb. It had a long, deep cut on the inner side and was bleeding heavily.  
I saw that the local medical personnel arrived as well, so I asked them to get me some bandage which I applied to the wound.  
“Gee, thanks Clara” he said. “Will I live?” he asked me trying to be funny but I didn’t take it well, still feeling my racing heart in my chest. I pressed the bondage strongly to stop the bleeding.  
“Get us a car,” I ordered a staff member. He did so, and the car took us back to the tent next to the stage. 

In tent an already frightened Max was waiting for us. He saw Dan’s bloody arm which I still held firmly and one could see him get pale, all the blood was drained from his face.  
“Fuck, I’m so sorry mate,” he whispered.  
“Max, you can’t faint now, I don’t have more hands” I told him. “Go outside,” I ordered him and everyone else as I guided Daniel to a couch and gestured him to lay down. I went to bring my medical bag the as I returned I take a look on the wound. The bleeding pretty much stopped, but the cut needed sutures for sure.  
“Dan?” I looked at him worryingly. “This needs to be properly cleaned out and then sutured.”  
He snarled at the thought.  
“We can go to the hospital and -” I began to explain what is going to happen but he stopped me putting his unharmed hand on mine.  
“A-a, I’m not going anywhere Clara,” he said with a determined look. “You can deal with this, right?” he asked. I scoffed.  
“I can do stitches but it would be better if we go to a surgeon” I said but he shook his head.  
“No, I don’t want more drama than necessary,” he looked at me again. “You do the stitches and I’ll have and awesome scar,” he winked. “Also it’ll leave Max feeling guilty for a while. That brat never leaves enough space for takeovers.”  
I smiled briefly. I took off the bondage and carefully applied some antiseptic to the wound.  
“Sorry, it’ll hurt a lot,” I said and he grunted.  
“Hey, you should say it wouldn’t hurt,” he squeaked.  
“No, I’m not that kind of doctor,” I smiled. “I’m always honest with my patients”.  
“That’s good.” he said as he looked at me.  
“Any allergies?” I asked as I drew up some lidocaine in a syringe.  
“Nothing that I know of” he answered with a little concern in his voice.  
“Ok, I’m going to apply some local anaesthetic so you are not feeling the stitches,” I said and started working. 

After a minute I carefully began to close the wound. I can’t say I’m doing this on a daily basis like surgeons do but I was confident enough to do it myself if that’s what he wanted. I worked with steady hands and he watched me silently. I heard his deep breathing next to my ear.  
I just realised how close we are, only inches apart. He was half leaning on the couch and I was kneeling beside him, still holding his arm. Both of our shirts were bloody and I still felt the high from before. My heart rate was much higher than necessary.  
Halfway done I looked at him to search for any sign of pain. As I looked up our gazes met and I realised he wasn’t looking at the wound and he was looking at me with a gentle smile on his face. Suddenly I felt my whole body flooded with a wave of heat. It emerged from my stomach and when it reached my face I was pretty sure I turned red as a tomato. So I forced myself to tear my eyes from his and continued working.  
When I’ve finished I took a final look at my work and I found it turned out decent.  
“Wow, it’s cool” said Daniel next to me. I smiled with satisfaction.  
“Are you OK? Was it painful?” I asked him as I put some new clean bondage on his arm.  
“No, it actually felt nice,” he said looking me in the eyes. His smile was the same gently one from before and I felt something telling me he didn’t mean the joy of getting ten stitches.  
“Right,” that was all I could mumble and I smiled back at him as I quickly got to my feet.

I gave him a tetanus shot then I let the others come back inside. By this time Max gathered a little colour back to his face.  
“Are you OK buddy?” He asked Daniel nervously.  
“He’ll live,” I smiled at them. Christian stepped beside me.  
“How bad is that?” ha asked. “Can he drive?”  
“I think so. I gave him ten stitches and also applied some tissue glue. It should hold, but I guess we’ll see in free practice,” I explained. 

After the incident our part was pretty much done at the event. The next program was the line of interviews at the track so the cars took us to the paddock.  
There the guys quickly went on to deal with the media assignments. I gave some painkillers to Daniel in the car, so he insisted on saying he’s drugged at every interview. Poor Aurelie, his press officer buried her face in her palms hearing that. I grinned like a fool and felt happy about him not suffering in pain. 

The next thing was the pre race press conference which I didn’t want to attend, I decided to return to Red Bull. However, it was on the way back to the Energy Station so I walked back that way together with the guys and their press officers.  
The weather was OK in the morning, but during the interviews it started raining again. We had a few umbrellas with us, but not enough for everybody. Max put on his hoodie, and volunteered to walk in the rain - I believed only his guilt from before let him do such a thing.  
Aurelie and Vicky used one together, Daniel took my arm with his unhurt hand and pulled me under his umbrella.  
“Come on I need a doctor on my side,” he smirked at me, still holding me close. I looked up to him, grinning. I was relieved because he seemed OK, and it made me feel good and easy.  
“So, I have to stick to your side for the day?” I asked him teasingly.  
“Pretty much” he nodded. I giggled nervously. 

Max hurried at the front, then the two girls and we remained at the back. Daniel had long legs and always tend to walk fast but somehow he took his time now. He was humming a happy note. I shot him a sideways glance, but he just chuckled at me and continued the act, unbothered.  
Soon, we arrived to the press building and I stopped to say goodbye. The others haven’t even noticed me and hurried inside, but Daniel froze.  
“What?” He raised an eyebrow.  
“Nothing, I’m just going back to Red Bull,” I explained but he still looked at me confused.  
“For what? Come on girl, I hate interviews too but I’m gonna charm them all quickly then we all go to eat something for lunch because I’m starving,” he said. I was also hungry and I found his offer tempting, still I hesitated. I took a concerned look at the media building again.

Of course my problem was the real fear of meeting a certain Ferrari driver. What if I see Leclerc in there and… Honestly I couldn’t even think of that scenario. That case - as so many other problems were in my life - was buried deep, so I don’t have to care about it a bit until it’s very necessary to. I was aware we are going to see each other at one point during the year but I haven’t got the slightest idea what would I say or do about it. _And what would he?_

Daniel was still looking at me frowning. He put his hand on my shoulder and in the humid, chilly air I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. My stomach twisted in an unpleasant way as I asked,  
“So with whom are you doing the interview?”  
“The guys from Alfa, I guess” he shrugged. OK, it meant Raikönnen and Giovinazzi. I sighed relieved, and I gave in, let him guide me inside.  
“Well, it wasn’t negotiable, Clara,” he stated and winked at me as we arrived to the interview hall.  
I smiled at him and tear my gaze away to look around. Funny, it felt so quiet. And there was no crowd around. I slowly realised another interview was still in place. One old, Chinese looking journalist stood in the right side of the room holding a microphone, and was in the middle of asking a question.  
“...which is likely. So what do you think about the chances for Ferrari in rain?” he asked in a strong accent. “Charles, please?” he added as there were in fact two drivers from Ferrari sitting at the table next to Norris and Bottas, but the only one paying any attention to him was Vettel.  
His monegasque teammate probably didn’t even hear the question. He was looking at the end of the room, more precisely he was staring at me. And Daniel. And his hurt arm. And my t-shirt with the Red bull logo in the front.  
_Shit._  
His eyes went wide at first, as his lips parted slightly in surprise. The longest second passed until he shook his head and turned to the journalist.  
“Um… Excuse me, can you please repeat the question?” he asked the man.

His expression made my heart skip at least three beats, and I felt my face turn crimson. I felt dizzy, and like somebody hit by a school bus.  
“Sorry, I need to go,” I mumbled to Daniel avoiding his gaze as I sneaked out of the room behind him.

I ran to the Energy Station not looking back once while the rain started to pour down more heavily.


	8. Chasing the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope you're still with me, and I'm not the only one enjoying this story :D  
> So, here is the new chapter. In this, everyone tries to adapt, but maybe not everyone is chasing the sun. ;)  
> Let me know what do you think about it.

_What are you doing here? At Red Bull?_

I got his message right after the guys arrived back from the Media Center. I read it and quickly shoved my phone back in my pocket.   
I went to find Lee to ask if I could help him with something. 

We restock our medical bags and checked out our office which was basically a small room with an examination table and some cupboards to store our supplies in.   
As Lee explained - while we sorted the drugs to the containers - usually he doesn't do much on race weekends. Sometimes team members come to him with a sore throat or a common cold. An allergy tops.   
Maybe only because of that, but he was quite impressed with my performance in the morning. 

"Yeah, well I'm still an anaesthetist, you know," I explained and placed some trays in order to the shelves.  
"The worse shape the patient is in, the more I'm comfortable to treat them!" I added with an evil smile. His wrinkled face transformed into a cheeky grin.   
"I'm happy that the new generation is this enthusiastic," he told me and patted my shoulder.   
"I hope you find your place here girl, and you won't be bored."

If only he knew my stomach was in a tight knot since I saw Leclerc. I was nowhere to be bored. I still didn't figure out if I should talk to him and if yes, then what to say to him.   
Of course the reasonable decision would be to ask him to leave me alone. But every time I settle with this choice, his greenish blue eyes came to my mind as he watched me, licking his lips, then holding me, and…   
See, that's it. That's my mind dealing with the right choice.   
So instead of answering him I was hiding in the office and checked the best before date of every single medication. 

_Clara, we have to meet._

I was still in the office when the free practices finished. It was pouring rain but the Red bulls were good. Daniel had the best time, Max was the close second only to be followed by Bottas and Hamilton. Leclerc was even behind Vettel. 

_Please? I really need to see you._

I honestly didn't see his point. He could have had any girl he wanted and probably had his fair share already. Of course he had, why wouldn’t he? He is young, talented, rich and sexy as fuck. I scoffed on this thought and sank down in an armchair.   
The room was getting dark because of the cloudy, rainy weather outside. I didn’t feel like turning on a lamp. The dark matched my shady mood.

"Gee girl, what the heck is going on here?" After one knock on the door Daniel bursted inside. It's good that he only found me sitting alone in the dark, but worst case he could have interrupted me examining a patient.  
"Hi," I greeted him not really enthusiastically. I looked at him. and seeing him smiling again I managed to make an effort. "Congrats on your time!" I said but my voice didn’t turn out as excited as I wanted it to be.

He frowned and looked at me with a suspicious expression.  
“What’s wrong? Why didn’t you come down to the garage?” He asked.   
If I was more keen on the subject I could’ve felt the obvious disappointment in his voice. Instead, I just shrugged my shoulders.  
“I needed to help Lee here,” I lied. “I didn’t do much as a doctor since I’m here so at least my office should look ready to deal with patients,” I shrugged. 

My disappointed voice made Daniel roll his eyes. He sat down next to me.  
“Bullshit, you saved my arm!” he exclaimed, his indignant comment made me laugh a little.  
“Daniel, you had a cut,” I rolled my eyes, smiling.  
“Anyway, it hurt as it fell off,” he said. “I’m lucky to be alive!” And to emphasize that he held up his wounded arm, gently cradling it. 

He was still in his racing suit, the upper part folded around his waist. His white henley was so tight I could see his abs clearly through the thin layer. Suddenly, I felt a strange urge to touch them.   
“Well, I came to ask if it is okay. It feels better.” He said. His brown eyes were bright as he smiled at me.   
“I see,” I managed to take my eyes off his torso and nodded. “Let me check that.”

I examined his dressing, which was fine. There was no bleeding and my stitches held nicely.   
“Well, it looks fine,” I said and put a tape on the bondage.   
“Thank you again, Clara,” he said and held a little pause while biting his lower lip. It seemed like he wanted to ask something else, but after a brief consideration he sighed defeated.   
“I have to hurry back now, or Aurelie makes my life hell,” he said and hurried out.   
I realised I was still smiling minutes after he left.   
As I felt a bit better I decided to finally leave my hiding place and sneak back to the hotel.   
I headed straight to my bed and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Next day I woke up early. I had to check the clock to decide if it is still dawn or it’s just the cloudy weather.   
It was 5 am.   
Suddenly all the events from yesterday flashed back to my memory, and made my chest heavy.   
_God, maybe I shouldn’t sink back to that misery I felt yesterday_ \- I thought and decided to let some steam off so I went to the hotel’s gym to run a bit. 

The gym was nice, and totally empty. I chose a treadmill, put on my earbuds and started an easy, warm up pace.   
By the end of the 12th kilometer I felt with the sweat I also managed to lose some of my concerns as well.   
I stopped the machine and hopped down from the running belt, removing the earpieces with the loud music. I turned around and saw that I wasn’t alone anymore, Max and Jake was standing in the other side of the room, working out.  
“Hey,” I went there to greet them.   
“Hi Clara,” said Max, smiling.   
“How are you?” Jake asked, looking at me.  
“I’m fine, thanks,” I nodded and wiped some sweat from my neck.   
“Great, Dan told us you were a bit sad yesterday,” Jake said, not stopping in doing chin ups. I blinked. Why is Dan’s concern to bother about my mood? Max was looking at me a bit worried.  
“No, I’m fine, really” I smiled at him and I truly felt like that. He nodded. 

We drove out to the circuit early after breakfast. It wasn’t raining at that moment, but all our meteorologists were convinced we were about to get some heavy downpour after the qualifying starts.   
I put on my Red bull logoed raincoat, zipped it up to the max and hid my face under its hoodie. I even swept all my brown curls under it, I didn’t want it to get wet.   
_Or to be seen._

Before Q1 I was talking to Lee in the office, but then we went to hang around in the garage. Max was already sitting in his car, looking at the data, but Daniel was standing on the other side, speaking cheerfully with Simon, his race engineer. 

I stood in a corner and tried not to be in anyone’s way. I just watched them getting ready. It seemed like everybody knew what to do and worked hard to earn a victory. As Q1 started, all the mechanics gathered around the television to watch what’s happening outside. 

The first were the Alfas to hit the track, and not even a minute passed when we heard Kimi’s voice over the radio.   
“There’s some rain in turn 11 to 13. Do something. The car slips all the time.”

Max and Daniel managed to finish two laps before the rain forced them back to change the tyres.   
“It’s fucking wet!” Max shouted as he removed his helmet.   
“Just give me the inters and let me go back,” I heard Daniel saying to Simon. Rennie looked at him and said nothing but nodded and returned back to check the monitors.   
The mechanics changed the tyres in seconds and Daniels car stormed out to the track again.   
Soon, he secured the first place. 

In Q2 the craziness truly began. It was raining heavily, and the cars slipped out of the tarmac every now and then. First was Bottas, who nearly collided to the box entrance. He only missed it by chance. The next was Hamilton, he wasn’t that lucky and crashed the front of his car after spinning in turn 3. I guess Mercedes cars weren’t that keen on Chinese weather.   
The broadcast showed Toto Wolff burying his face in his palms which everyone in our garage found quite funny.   
After those stunts, only the Ferraris were meant to be a threat for our boys. Vettel ran a solid time but Leclerc finished behind him in every lap. 

Next was Q3, and Daniel still owned the fastest lap. Max, coming in second, was still arguing on the radio all the time about his tyres slipping on the water. 

Vettel came in third, but Leclerc’s time still wasn’t shown. I didn’t understand because he ran a great time in the first sector, and was even faster than Daniel in the second. I felt my heart rate rising.  
Soon, the camera found his car in turn 15, spinned on the grass, crashed to the wall. I gasped, my heart jumped to my throat at once.   
Luckily, in no time, he jumped out of his car, unharmed. Everyone could see how angry and disappointed he was. He shook his head in the helmet and left the track through a side exit, guided by two marshalls. 

My heart was still pacing when I looked around and saw everyone cheering around me.   
The team just secured the first two places on the grid for tomorrow. I smiled weakly. 

After a minute Michael stepped next to me.   
“Come with me to the podium,” he said and grabbed my arm to pull me outside to join the crowd heading to see the ceremony and interviews.  
The guys were so happy they shouted and hugged each other on the way, it made me grin like a kid as well. Nobody cared about the pouring rain. We arrived to the podium, just in time to see Daniel park his Red bull and jump out of it. Soon, he was joined by Max who congratulated him and both of them hurried to us, and hugged their teammates in the first row. I patted Max’s shoulder and he flashed me a bright smile.   
Dan also noticed me, grinning like a fool. He reached to my hand, and squeezed it.   
“Thank you,” he said raising his left arm, then he let mine go to gallop to give the post qualifying interview. 

After that the crowd began to clear up, everybody was leaving to return to their base, start to prepare for tomorrow. I also left, walking back to the Red bull garage with Vicky.   
“I’m so happy for both of them,” she was beaming. “I can’t imagine to finally have a one-two again!”  
I smiled in agreement. We were walking side to side under her umbrella. She knew a lot of people, so we stopped from time to time to say hi. 

We almost reached the Energy Station when two people walked out from the Media Center, dressed in all red.  
“Oh, look it’s Mia and Charles!” she exclaimed as she began tugging me towards the two figures.   
They’ve already noticed us, the girl - Mia - even waved in our direction, so my first idea - to tell Vicky to run away as fast as we could and maybe they wouldn’t notice us - didn’t seem manageable anymore.   
Also, Leclerc noticed me and his eyes went wide.   
I almost froze on the spot, and despite the cold weather I suddenly felt the air under my raincoat suffocating hot.

“Mia! It’s so good to see you!” Vicky chirped as they got to us and the blonde Ferrari PR officer hugged her tight.   
Charles also greeted Vicky with a smile then every face turned to me.   
“Let me introduce you to our new team doctor, Clara Horner” she gestured towards me. _Fantastic._  
Mia smiled and shook my hand. Leclerc looked at me and took my hand in his. A barely noticeable smirk was hiding in the corner of his mouth.   
“Hi, I’m Charles,” he said but his gaze already wandered to my lips. I realised I was biting my lower lip to calm my nerves. 

The two girls seemed like they know each other well and was happy to grab the chance to chat a bit.   
Vicky left me to hold our umbrella, and I was squeezing it tight, while fixing the ground. Soon I felt Leclerc stepping next to me.   
“Clara, please. Look at me,” he spoke quietly so I was the only one hearing him. I looked up. His eyes were desperate.   
“Are you really working for Red Bull now?” He asked and I nodded slowly.   
“So, then we can meet tonight,” he breathed. “Come to our hotel.”  
“I can’t,” I shook my head.  
“Why?”  
“Because it would be too complicated,” I looked at him again. He really didn’t seem to understand the drawbacks of our situation.   
I clearly remembered I’ve made a list in my head about the negatives effects of shagging Charles Leclerc. But to be honest, standing so close to him, instantly made me forget at least half of them. 

“It shouldn’t be,” he said. “I…” he started, but at that moment the two PR officers decided to end their friendly conversation and turned back to us.   
“So we see you around, OK?” asked Vicky who I completely forgot about for a minute. “We need to go now, Max has tons of interviews to attend.”  
“OK, see you,” Mia nodded.   
I felt some warmness on my fingers, as Charles’ hand brushed against mine. I looked up to him, startled but he looked elsewhere, only the cheeky smile on his lips gave him away.   
“Yeah, see you,” he said and they left to walk to the opposite direction. 

_That color suits you._

He wrote a couple of minutes later and I felt a lump in my throat as I read his message.   
I briefly considered to say yes to his offer to meet, but waved the idea away again when Michael stopped me to say the team dinner starts at 6. The guys wanted to have a proper rest before tomorrow’s race, and Christian was more than happy to move the reservation earlier to make that possible. 

I decided on wearing a simple, navy colored dress for the dinner. I met up with Vicky and we went together to the restaurant. The majority of the team was already there, cheering with drinks.

“Here are my girls,” Max exclaimed and stood up to hug the both of us.   
“Come on, don’t embarrass me,” I scolded him but my smile gave me away. Daniel, Jake, Michael was all there, sitting in the center of a big table.  
“OK, let us find some place over there,” I gestured Vicky to the end of the table where I could see some unaccompanied places.  
“Don’t be kidding you are sitting here with us!” Daniel exclaimed. The guys quickly moved over, and manage to squeeze two extra chairs in for us.   
Daniel gestured to the seat next to him with a beaming smile.  
“Here you are,” he said. I sat down, and his nice scent hit me immediately. I huffed to remove the smell from my nose. It would have been a long evening if I gave in so easily. 

“Hey guys, let’s make a photo to my instagram!” Max said and stood up. Nobody protested, so he snapped a selfie with his iPhone. He started to fiddle with his phone probably to post the picture. In a minute he tagged everyone, my phone also vibrated on the table with the notification.  
“Nice,” said Daniel next to me as he checked out the picture. I leaned closer to him to check it.  
He was right, the photo was adorable. Max’s caption was “with my chosen family”. All of us seemed so happy and dressed up nicely. Also, Daniel was leaning close to me on the picture which I didn’t even realised when Max took it. I blushed on the thought. 

The rest of the dinner had the same laid back, pleasant atmosphere. I chatted a lot with Daniel, but also Michael and Vicky. They shared a lot of stories from the previous years, I enjoyed every one of them and laughed until my stomach hurt.   
Sadly, Christian came to us around 8 and killed the vibe ordering everybody to bed.

“Hey, um Clara,” Daniel turned to me as we stood up and started to say our goodbyes. He suddenly seemed tight, and ran his hand through his curls.  
“I think my wound needs a new dressing, doesn’t it?” he asked, tapping his hurt limb.   
He was right, maybe it needed to be changed for the night. I nodded.   
“Well, I don’t have anything with me right now, my medical bag is in my room.” I said and I could see him thinking about what I said.   
“If you come with me upstairs, I could check that out and change it,” I said. Now it was his turn to blush.   
“‘Kay, if that’s fine with you.” One could clearly see his neck turning crimson. 

Eventually we said our goodbyes to the others and headed to the elevator. We entered and as I stood in the corner, an uneasy silence settled between us. He looked at me once, let out a long breath but only flashed a small, forced smile.   
His suddenly changed behaviour made me frown.  
What the heck just happened here? Did I say something wrong? Or is he nervous about his arm? Ten minutes earlier we were joking around, laughing hard. And now I had this growing pressure in my chest. I folded my arms, and smiled back at him nervously.

Fortunately, the elevator arrived to my floor shortly. We walked to my door and I let him in. He looked around the room as I prepared the things we needed.   
“Come here,” I said and he obeyed in an instant, sitting next to me, and handed me his arm. 

Daniel Ricciardo - who couldn’t shut up for a whole minute since I’ve known him - was sitting in complete silence while I was working. I could hear his shallow breathing. I concentrated hard, so I don’t have to deal with him and his strange acting.   
“Aaand it’s ready!” I sticked the last tape on his wrist. I looked up to him, he was already peeking at me from under his long eyebrows.   
Our gazes met and I tried so hard but couldn’t read his mind full of wrangling thoughts. 

Whatever spell was cast upon us, it broke when my phone dinged on the table. I snapped my head towards the source of the sound, and when I turned back, Daniel’s already stood up to leave.   
“Thanks, Clara,” he said with an uneasy smile and hurried to the door.  
“I was happy to help,” I tried to sound encouraging but surely failed. He looked back at me once more and left. 

I grimaced at the closing door. I still didn’t understand Daniel’s sudden change. What just happened left me really confused.   
I sighed and stood up to check the new message I just got. 

_I’m in your hotel._

It was from Charles. I inhaled sharply, but forgot to breath out.   
How dare he come here? What if somebody sees him? I could only hope for Christian already reaching his room and settle for the night. Same for Max. And Dan.   
God, Dan.   
Good god. Leclerc was here and made my poor heart racing again. I was so afraid somebody will see him, I hurried to type the answer. 

_My room is nr.405._

In a couple of minutes there was a soft knock on the door. It was Charles.

I didn’t want to spend more time on thinking about the fact that two f1 drivers were in my hotel room in 5 minutes than it was necessary.

“Are you insane? How could you come here?” I said instead of saying hi. He stepped in and just shrugged.   
“You didn’t want to come to our hotel,” he said. He looked at me and immediately stepped closer. I stepped back to keep the distance between us.   
“Charles, you know we can’t meet like this again,” I mumbled and I felt my tights bump to the sofa.  
“Why?” he asked, and stepped closer again. “You are afraid that Horner will be mad at you?” he asked and I realised he was standing right in front of me now.  
“Or Verstappen?” He cupped my face and made me look at him.   
“Or Ricciardo? I saw you two on that picture,” he said and his voice was clearly huffish.   
“I really hope he doesn’t like you,” he added with a hint of jealousy in his voice.   
I snorted on the thought. Charles’ jealousy was flattering but based on Daniel’s newly developed behaviour towards me, attraction was the last thing that came to my mind. 

Charles seemed to calm down seeing my expression. He slipped his left hand on my waist, and he caressed my cheek with his right one.   
“Clara, I like being with you,” his eyes wandered to my mouth and was smiling gently. “Even like this.” 

I felt my head spinning as he closed the gap between our lips. He held me close, as if he was afraid I will send him away any minute.   
But I didn’t tell him to leave, not until the sun was rising.


	9. Don't let me down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, new week new chapter.   
> I have a few chapters ready to post and also an awfully lot of ideas I'm exited to write about :)

_“Clara, I like being with you,” his eyes wandered to my mouth and smiled gently. “Even like this.”_

_I felt my head spinning as he closed the gap between our lips. He held me close, as if he was afraid I will send him away any minute. But I didn’t tell him to leave, not until the sun was rising._

I felt a warm body pressed to mine and my eyes popped open. 

“Charles!” I said and sat up in the bed. I realised I’m completely naked, so I pulled up the sheet to my chest. I only got a soft growl as a response from behind my back.   
“You need to leave. Don’t you have a morning warm up or something to attend to?” I asked him. Still no answer, only his soft, even breathing.   
I growled annoyed and hugged the pillow. Charles tightened his grab around my waist then let out a long sigh.   
“Good morning to you too,” he mumbled and nuzzled his nose against the nape of my neck. 

Actually, it was a pleasant feeling - to wake up next to somebody again. I couldn’t say last night wasn’t fun, even if I didn’t plan ending up like this. It almost looked like it could work somehow whatever is this we are doing. I suppressed my satisfied grin when I remembered who is laying next to me and where. A started to feel a sting of consciousness, but I managed to wave away the thought with looking at the young driver laying naked next to me. 

“I’m serious Charles! Leave. Now! Or starting from P10 means you are a lost cause and now everyone is concentrating on Vettel?” I giggled. His eyes finally opened, with his face turning into a huffish grimace.   
“You know what, I can think about a way to warm up properly,” he wiggled his eyebrows and slid his hand to caress my arm.

He gently pulled me back to his side and showered me with light kisses. He started on my neck and as he slowly wandered down his mouth became hungrier on the way. Then he stopped at my breasts to suckle on my nipples he liked so much. I could also feel he was now touching himself with one hand.   
A loud moan was torn from the back of my throat on the thought. Then, as if just to torture me he left the sensitive bud and licked his way further down to my stomach. 

He almost arrived to his destination when his phone started to ring with an annoying sound.   
“Merde,” he breathed. He gave a quick kiss on my pussy which he didn’t quite reach yet and crawled out of the bed to find his iPhone, still in his jeans’ pocket. 

“Sí,” loathing, he answered the call and started to speak in Italian. Until this time I always thought it’s only me and my prejudices but now I could see. Ferrari personnel only know Italian. Poor Vettel. 

While he was speaking he fixed his eyes on me, still laying on the bed. I smirked as I had the devilish idea to touch myself. His pupils dilated and glued to watch my hand wandering to my pussy.   
Charles gulped, and from then he wasn’t able to say complete sentences only words in the rest of the conversation.   
He was really sweet, completely lost in my show, his cock was so hard, he had to squeeze it several times.   
After a few mumbled words he hung up, and looked back at me, devastated. 

“Clara, I am so very sorry, I have to go” he said. I couldn’t help but grin at his disappointed face.   
“Hey, didn’t I say the same?” I asked, and sat up again. “You are not supposed to be here in the first place.” My comment made him pout.   
“Yeah, but I want to,” he said and gave me another, longing kiss.

“Can I see you before the race?” he asked when we said goodbye with a one minute long make out session.   
“How could you?” I shook my head in disbelief. “No.”  
He pouted again and wanted to say something else, but I peeked out to the corridor which - fortunately - was still deserted, so I practically pushed him out of my room and closed the door. 

Now, it was the time to pray for all the Red bull team members to oversleep. 

It was raining again, or still at the track when I arrived. I rode there alone, everyone seemed to be so excited about the race, that all the team members were already working in the garage. I smiled and greeted some of them I knew from before. 

I was in a good mood. I had no idea about whether it had anything to do with the previous night or it was just my rebound happiness after my breakdown from the other day. I tended to have these sudden mood changes, which I knew was not a healthy thing and I probably should have got a course of electroshock therapy or some lithium but whatever.   
At least I enjoy it when I am happy and cheerful with no reason. 

Anyway, suddenly, seeing Daniel made my stomach clench. When he recognised me he was juggling with some tiny balls, and Michael was standing next to him, giving instructions.   
The Australian driver gave me a wide smile, which I tried to return.   
“Is your arm OK?” I asked him.   
“Ah, yeah,” he said but as soon as he opened his mouth he dropped two of the balls. Michael saw that and shook his head with a sigh. I just snorted and left them to hug Max and wish him good luck.   
“You are the best, get them,” I said and winked.  
“Thanks Clara,” he said, holding me tight. “I just want these guys to get their reward for all their hard work.”   
I snorted.   
“Yeah, well like you couldn’t kill anyone to be a world champion!”   
He giggled and released me.   
“I love you can always get me,” he said and he went on to finish his warmup. 

I spent the remaining time until the start in our office with Lee. I still had that feeling that I only disturb the rest of the team if I linger around anywhere near the garage. I checked my phone and I saw I got a new message from a certain Ferrari driver. 

_Wish me luck. But I feel I don’t need any after last night._

I smiled at the text. I quickly responded ( _Well then, you don’t need it._ ) and put the phone away, I didn’t want to start a chat with him either, 15 minutes before the race. 

“Girl, be careful with those smirks on your face” I heard Lee mumbling next to me. I looked at him, frowning.   
“I know that face,” he looked at me behind his glasses. “And it could be dangerous. Hurtful even,” he added.  
“OK, thanks Dumbledore,” I blinked at him. My comment made us both smile. 

We went out to the garage to watch the race with the rest of the team. The mechanics gathered around the big monitor on the wall, and the tension was palpable in the air.   
I saw the two Red bulls on the front arriving back from the formation lap.   
Vicky was biting her nails next to me. I gently removed her hand form her mouth and smiled at her reassuringly.   
“If you chew down your hands who will push them to their victory interviews?”

In a couple of seconds all the red lights lit up and went out shortly. The cars launched from their starting position, and for a moment one could only see a huge water splash.   
Slowly the picture cleared, and looked like only a Racing point failed to make it to the first corner. It was Stroll who slipped and smashed his car to the tyre wall. Raikönnen nearly hit him, but managed to maneuver away in the last millisecond. 

Safety car. It took three laps to remove Stroll’s car from the track, by that time Giovinazzi’s Alfa Romeo also slipped but he was able to come back to the race - last. 

After the safety car came in it only took five laps to Charles to take over five cars and arrive to fifth place, finally overtaking Bottas with a stunt the commentator called a truly outstanding performance.   
“Fuck, he is good,” Vicky mumbled next to me, chewing on her nails again. I looked at her as I felt the guilt tightening my throat. I gulped and looked back to the television to see Vettel’s car hit a bump on the side of the track. His suspension broke immediately. We could hear him cursing on the radio, and saw the Ferrari team members burying their faces in their palms or shaking their heads in disappointment.

Charles in the other car was now fourth, and only Hamilton separated him from our boys. I was never this grateful for the English Mercedes driver just to exist.   
My eyes were glued to the television for the next half an hour, but nothing particularly happened except Grosjean DNFed - again - and the safety car hit the track - again. That helped Charles a lot to catch up with the Mercedes. 

Also it was the perfect time for pit stops. Otherwise, our boys planned to come out in three laps but Grosjean’s accident created the perfect opportunity. Sadly, everyone thought the same. 

Max came out first. Something happened, it seemed like the front éeft tyre stuck and he nearly lost ten seconds already when it finally came off and he was good to go again. The guys in the garage were devastated. 

“What the fuck was this?” Max asked through the radio. Gianpierre informed him about his tenth position in a sad voice.   
“Sorry Max, we are all so sorry. Push hard and we can get some good points.” There was no answer. 

The other struck came shortly afterwards. Daniel pitted. Everything went smoothly, tyre change was fast as a lightning. He was released, and headed back to the track. Maybe because of the rain, maybe because of sheer disregard but the Williams crew let out Kubica too early. They collided in the pitlane as the Williams hit the side of Daniel’s Red bull. 

“Fuck!” I could hear that at least from three directions. Then the garage went insane. Half of the guys ran to the car to guide it back to the garage and see if anything can be done to make it return to the track. The other half shook their head in disbelief. Vicky was silent next to me.   
“I’m so sorry” I said to her. She looked at me with tearful eyes.

Daniel could return to the race, but he was absolutely last one with minutes of disadvantage.

There were only five laps remaining. The broadcast was now focused on Hamilton and Leclerc, as the Ferrari driver slowly but surely worked off the time gap between the cars. Bottas was third but his tyres were used and was nowhere to mean a threat. In the next lap Charles arrived to be in the DRS zone. Everyone agreed it’s completely insane to even try to overtake Hamilton in the last three laps, especially in a race where half of the grid DNFed and it rained so heavily that the onboard cameras stopped working laps ago. 

Nevertheless, he tried. He tried so hard. In lap 54 in the chicane after turn 10 and 15 but Hamilton’s defense was flawless. Then, he tried again in lap 55. He was so close the commentator was afraid these two cars would collide as well in the next act. 

But they didn’t, and in the last lap Hamilton’s Mercedes slipped on a puddle. It was only a couple of centimeters but it was enough for Charles to take advantage and flew the Ferrari across the finish line. 

I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe the Monégasque just won this insane race, starting from P10.  
Our engineers were shaking their heads, mechanics were brokenly lingering around, not really finding the words to talk about what just happened. 

“OK, guys, debrief at 6,” I heard my uncle’s clearly disappointed voice over our heads. 

I didn’t know what to do. The guys haven’t returned yet from the scaling and reporting to the stewards, and I wasn’t sure if they do I should find either of them or not. 

Every monitor showed Charles smiling on the podium between the Mercedes drivers - soaking wet but so happy and proud. I felt even more guilt because I was happy for him. I felt like I betrayed a team I wasn’t even part of yet. Maybe it was childish, but I was convinced they would think the same if they’d find out about our little affair. Especially Max, who would probably kill me if he’d know I’m shagging one of his biggest rival. 

I looked to the big screen again, sighed and walked to our office, Lee was already there, packing like everybody else.   
“I’m really sorry,” I sighed. And started to gather my things laying around the place.   
“Yeah, me too,” he looked at me. “Maybe in Baku. You know Leclerc has a thing for Baku.”  
I stopped and snapped my head maybe a bit faster up than I wanted to.   
“What’s his deal?” I asked, tried to sound uninterested.   
“Last year. He crashed his car and with its nose he also smashed the very likely pole position,” he explained. “It’s his boggart. Luckily, our boys love it!” He added with a smile.   
I thought about the two Red bull drivers. I remember both of them so excited about the race, I was wondering how could they feel now.   
“I hope they are both OK,” I said my thoughts out loud.   
“Well, they’ll be,” he nodded. “Eventually.”  
Maybe he saw me pouting, because he gave me a gently, fatherly smile.   
“There’s nothing to treat now, doctor. Not medically at least,” he winked. 

I only saw the two Red bull drivers after leaving the debrief room. None of them said anything, Max only looked at me and shook his head while he stormed along the corridor, Daniel was talking quietly with his engineers and also headed to his room without saying anything. 

Vicky - also exiting the debrief room - saw me standing in the corner, and stepped next to me.   
“Well, that went awful,” she sighed. “Christian went nuts and our boys are just broken.”  
I couldn’t say anything to respond, also my phone beeped in my pocket. 

_I am so happy. Also, I can’t wait to see you tonight._

I felt a tightness forming in my throat as I read Charles’s text. I didn’t answer. 

“Anyway, we decided not to go to the party tonight, so we fly out around 10 this evening,” Vicky said, still standing next to me. I looked up to her and nodded. I completely understood that they didn’t want to watch the Ferrari and Mercedes teams celebrating a win they were supposed to have. 

In the hotel room, during packing I composed a message to Charles. 

_I’m sorry, we fly back to London asap. Congrats on your win._


	10. I wish you would

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, nothing sweeter than a lover's quarrel... right?  
> Tenth chapter! Thank you so much for your support, guys!

I didn’t think that opening my instagram would make me choke on my cereals at 6 am. 

I nearly suffocated, but after coughing for three minutes straight I was able to tap on the pictures my tread was full of. These mainly showed Charles Leclerc with different fan girls, posing happily, hugging them, holding his Shanghai Grand Prix trophy high.

My chest became heavy as my eyes were glued to a photo of him holding a beautiful model looking young girl close. She had long, light brown, almost golden coloured hair and bronze, sun tanned skin. All of this wrapped in a tight, sparkly dress.  
I looked to myself - to my hands dry from disinfectants, to my messy, curly hair and my purple pyjamas which had fucking puppies on it.  
The caption said it was one of his previous girlfriends, and the poster suspiciously asked whether if they are together again. 

I closed the application with a grunt and threw the device on the couch. 

I won’t be bothered about a guy who I wasn’t supposed to be seeing anyway. Yet, I was dying to know if they are actually together or not with that girl.  
And what if I stayed in China for his victory party? Would have we spent the night together again? Probably.  
Anyway, he never responded to my last text to him saying I’m going home with the team. 

I scoffed on the thought. There’s better not think about Charles Leclerc and his love interests.  
I exhaled long and I decided to go for a run to clear my head.

On Wednesday we arrived to Baku, and by the time of the free practices one could feel the atmosphere in the team was still tense, but hopeful at the same time. The cars performed well, managed to secure a solid 2nd and 3rd best times after Hamilton. 

Media day was luckily more peaceful than on the previous weekend. Vicky didn’t accept any invitation even remotely dangerous for the guys. We couldn’t risk another injury. Of course the guys vinced between the unnumbered interviews, complaining about how boring and torturing those were. I always tried to remain unnoticed at the back and smiled supportively every time one of them looked at me. 

I still felt pangs of conscience, and tried to help as much as I could with the preparations. I stocked up our office before Lee even arrived, I changed the dressing on Daniel’s arm daily, and visited Max in his room to encourage him or just to joke around five times by Friday. 

Of course the first time I dared to leave the paddock, I saw Charles.  
I was with Max and Vicky on our way to get lunch at a local place next to the circuit. We walked along the paddock and enjoyed the sunshine. It was hot, the sunny weather made us cheerful.  
I wore my sunglasses and tried not to glare too obviously when we reached the Ferrari Home. They had built a wide terrace again and seemed like we weren’t the only one enjoying the good weather. Nearly all of the Ferrari team members were sitting outside, chatting loudly - including Charles.  
I saw him noticing us, but I pretended not to see him - a very grown-up thing to do I know, but seeing him with partying with other girls hurt more than I admitted to myself, so I held my head up, and put my arm gently on Max’s shoulder.  
“Hey Max,” I turned to him. “Promise me you win this time,” I asked him smiling wide at him.  
“Well Clara, you can bet I will” he looked at me determined. “Hamilton is good, but he’s not god.” he said. “I must beat him,” he added.  
_Yeah and also Leclerc, please please please?_ \- I thought.

I felt Charles’s eyes on me long after we walked by the Ferrari terrace. 

On Friday afternoon I was writing a report in our office on a mechanic having a bad sinusitis, when Lee peeked in.  
“Hello Clara,” he greeted me. “Are you free for a couple of minutes?” He asked.  
“Of course, do you need help with something?” I frowned. He shook his head.  
“No, but I want to introduce you to somebody,” he said. “Come with me.” He opened the door and gestured to follow him. 

We walked along half of the paddock, and Lee didn’t say anything about where is he taking me. We didn’t stop until the main FIA building. As I saw where we were heading I started to feel a bit nervous.  
“Lee, what on earth are we doing here?” I asked him again, suspiciously. He shushed me.  
“Clara, I told you. I want you to meet somebody,” he said and he knocked on a glass door, and a voice told us to enter.  
In the bright, glass walled office there was an old man sitting behind a massive desk, the plate on the table said he is Dr. David Conrad MD, PhD.  
Lee gestured towards the man. “Clara, this is David Conrad, the head doctor of the FIA.”  
The old man took off his glasses and gave me a welcoming smile.  
“Hello Clara, it’s nice to meet you,” he shook my hand. “Sorry for dragging you here, I was the one who insisted on a meeting.”  
I felt my face turning red, and I fastly shook my head to protest. David Conrad was a well respected doctor amongst trauma surgeons, when I prepared for my current job I constantly bumped into his publications on high speed racing accidents and the injuries that come with that.  
“No, Doctor Conrad, it’s an honour to meet you.”  
“Oh girl, please call me David,” he insisted and I nodded hesitantly.  
“So, Clara, the other day I was golfing with this exquisite friend of mine,” he gestured towards Lee. “And he spoke so highly of you I had to read your resume for myself, “he exchanged a look with his colleague. “And it was really impressive.”  
I gulped as I felt my face turning more hot by his comment.  
“I’ve read you were working in a big trauma centers, and have excellent results on your trainings.” I saw Lee smiling cheekily as David continued.  
“So we had this idea, making the most of having a bright, young anaesthesiologist amongst us. We want to ask you kindly to train our team doctors,” he said. “Nothing special, CPR or maybe some basic trauma life support.”  
First, I felt surprised by his request, but thinking it through it made sense. As Lee told me a lot of the team doctors were just simple general practitioners or worked as family doctors previously, and even if it wasn’t common for them to face acute scenarios - on track FIA doctors arrived first to accidents - but a little training and extra knowledge never hurt nobody.  
On the other hand I loved teaching. I often did lectures and hands on practices for medical students and residents in the hospital for years.  
“Well, I’d be honoured, David” I nodded. 

In the next hour we were talking about the details and possible ideas about the training. David was working in England and Germany previously. It turned out we had some common colleagues so we chatted carefully we didn’t even realise it’s already 8 o’ clock.  
I decided to walk back to the hotel alone, since it wasn’t far from the track and Lee wanted to stay to chat about golfing. 

I felt excited and full of ideas about this training, also excited for meeting fellow doctors from other teams. It sounded fun. I took a deep breath. I could smell the scent of spring in the air and it made my heart feel easy.

The paddock was not crowded anymore, only a few mechanics were lingering around at Haas, and a lone engineer just exited the McLaren Hospitality as I walked by.  
The only building bright with lights was the Pirelli Center, it seemed like there was a party inside. I barely looked at it as I passed. 

I only walked a hundred meters when I heard running footsteps behind me. I turned around to see Leclerc was jogging after me. I stopped next to some Alfa Romeo team trucks.  
We were alone.  
“Hey,” he said as he reached me. He wore his red Ferrari shirt with black jeans and his eyes looked tired. He gave me a concerned look.  
“Hello Charles,” I said and looked at him. He stopped right beside me very close with his back to the buildings.  
“I missed you last Sunday” he started hesitantly.  
I said nothing. He watched me as looking for any clues helping him what to do. I looked away, I was actually fighting the urges whether to slap him or kiss him.  
“I just wanted to celebrate with you after the race,” he continued.  
I sighed as our bittersweet memories from Shanghai flashed back to my memory.

“I’m sorry,” I pouted. “I needed to be with the team.” I said. It made him roll his eyes and his expression turned annoyed at once.  
“So what?” he asked in a higher tone. “I should lose like Verstappen? Or cut my arm like Ricciardo did to get your attention?” He stepped one step closer to me, so now I had to look up to him.  
“All I could see that they’re always lurking around you hugging and joking, and I can’t even talk to you,” he gritted through his teeth, his eyes fixed on me full of with hurt and jealousy. 

I grimaced and shook my head in disbelief. I was also on the edge of snapping.  
“Please, don’t be ridiculous Charles. They are my friends.” I said. A sarcastic grin spread over his mouth and he scoffed. 

I blinked at him, and felt my anger rise in my chest. His childish behaviour truly made me lose it. I looked around to see if anybody is around but I saw no one. 

“Listen to me Leclerc. You have no right to question me about who I spend my time with. Anyways, you are not better yourself. The internet is full of you and your girlfriend hugging each other in an oh-so-adorable-way that all the fangirls are crying themselves to sleep every night since Sunday. So I don’t even understand what do you want from me. Or why do you keep track of who’s lurking around me!” I basically shouted to him in a lowered tone.  
He frowned on my words, but said nothing.  
“Maxine is not my girlfriend.” It was all he could say after a minute.  
“Well, she seems like it to me.” I said and realised I was breathing heavy.  
“She was. But now she’s only a friend.” He looked at me and I realised his expression softened a bit. However, I got so worked up in the argument it didn’t affect me much.  
“You know what? I don’t care about her.” I said and tried to step aside of him but couldn’t, because he stopped me with placing his hand on my waist. 

Suddenly, with a firm movement he pulled me between the two trucks in the dark.  
“Yeah, I could see that,” he was so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. He sighed.  
“Clara, look at me,” he said and gently placed his other hand on my chin, tilting my head upwards, forcing me to look in his eyes.  
“I have to say goodbye at this party, but it’s like a minute or so. Then I drive you home.” He promised, and released me. “Wait for me here.”  
He stepped away a few steps, but suddenly he turned back as if he forgot something. He grabbed me by my arms, pulled me to his chest and kissed me hard. He forced me to let his tongue explore its well known pathways, again, and after letting out a long, content sigh he let go of my body.  
“This, I wanted to do today when I saw you. I really needed to hold myself together to resist.”

The image of him looking at us annoyed behind his fashionable sunglasses this afternoon popped to my head and made me smile. 

“Wait for me.” He repeated and left me to jog back to the Pirelli Party.  
I wasn’t a bit sure about waiting for him in the dark next to some team trucks was a good idea, but his words and his kiss made my head spinning and feet seemed to forgot how they work. 

After a couple of minutes Charles came back. This time he got on his blue jacket and had its hoodie on. He didn’t say anything just gestured me to follow him.

We walked side by side to the back entrance where he led me to a black BMW.  
“Really?” I asked, laughing. “No Ferrari?” I teased.  
I knew he uses one every weekend, but probably this time he wanted to avoid attention. He looked at me frowning.  
“If you want, we can get my Ferrari, and roam it through the streets,” he explained, while he opened the door for me.  
“But then, your little friends would be disappointed, no? Seeing us together?” he looked at me when we were already sitting in the car.  
I didn’t answer. I watched him drive for a couple of minutes silently. He drove secure, slow and calm. I got lost in watching him until we took a turn which wasn’t familiar.  
“Hey, my hotel is not this way,” I said.  
A snug smile appeared in the corner of his mouth.  
“I know.” 

When we stopped at the Ferrari team’s hotel my heart was racing. Charles might have been feeling my hesitation, because he said,  
“Don’t worry, everyone is still at the party.”  
I nodded and followed him to the entrance. I got a solid déja vu feeling when we crossed the lobby, got into the lift, and snuck in Charles’ room. 

“And now,” he started by turning to me after he carefully closed the room’s front door and walked slowly closer me, his green eyes fixed on my lips. “You’re mine until the morning, Clara Horner.”


	11. What I like about you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, the story got 1000 hits :) I'm flattered.   
> So, here is the next chapter.   
> I hope you see our boys are making efforts.

“Ah, Charles,” an embarrassing, loud moan escaped my throat after a particularly deep thrust of his and I felt my walls clench around his cock with satisfaction.   
He snapped his head up to look at me with a snug smile. It didn’t make him stop, on the contrary, he repeated the move as his hands grabbed my waist stronger on both sides.

“Clara, wait for me,” he breathed and I could see the forming beads of sweat on his forehead.   
His slow, deep thrusts made my eyes roll back to my scull, and I knew I couldn’t delay my orgasm for any longer.   
“I…” _Shit, next move and I moaned loudly, again. Why is he so good?_ I forced myself to shut my eyes.   
“I can’t...” And with this, my body started to shake, and the waves of my orgasm rammed through my body like a train.   
“Oui, c'est ça chéri!” He grunted as he felt my walls pulsating in pleasure. He pumped a couple more in my limp, completely relaxed body and he released his load deep inside me. 

I simply couldn’t suppress my cheeky grin, no matter that he was still inside me.   
“It’s adorable when you speak French,” I said turning to my side to face him.   
I was still grinning like a fool, high on endorphins, but my comment made him chuckle as well.   
“Yeah,” he said, blushing like a small kid caught red handed. “Sorry, I forgot...” 

It was late night, and we should have been sleeping for hours. At least he should have, but no matter how much I begged him, Charles insisted on another round. 

I thought of the huge amount of money his team is investing in consultation with sleep coaches and revolutionary supplements to help restore his circadian rhythm while travelling around the world just to improve his performance.

And he fucked up all of that. Like literally. 

My pussy already felt raw from the much attention it got in the last couple of hours, and now I felt his seed slowly leaking to the sheets. Somehow, this made me satisfied and dirty at the same time.   
Charles pulled me closer, and arranged me with my head resting on his chest. He started to slowly caress my shoulder. 

After a while, when his breathing became even, I decided to sneak out to have a shower.   
I only turned a bit when his arms tightened around me.   
“What are you doing?” He looked up.  
“God Charles, I’m only going to clean myself,” I answered with a shake of my head, and got up to go to the bathroom. 

I stepped in to the shower and enjoyed the warm water flowing around me. My body was relaxed and happy, my muscles were eased up. I cleaned all my parts, then decided on wearing one of the soft, white bathrobes with the hotel’s logo on it.   
When I returned, Charles was still up, fiddling with his phone.   
“You really should be resting,” I said as made myself comfortable on the other side of the bed.   
“Yeah, but I couldn’t until you came back.”  
“Well, I’m finished, so you can go in,” I said and gestured towards to bathroom, but he just shook his head.   
“Clara, I could have joined you inside,” he said and put his phone on the nightstand. “No, I was waiting for you because I was afraid you’ll leave again in the middle of the night.” He turned and fixed his sleepy eyes on me. “And I don’t want you to do that.”   
I felt my face warm up by his comment, I was lucky the room was dark so he didn’t see it.  
“Well, I won’t. So, will you sleep now?” I asked, frowning.  
“Yes.” he answered. He scooped me by his side, and held me tight as we both fell asleep in the following minutes. 

I woke up to a knock on the door. First, I was convinced I was at home, then I thought it might be Vicky to ask if I want to go to the track together. It took me a minute to realise I’m still laying in Charles Leclerc’s arms.   
“Fuck,” I breathed, and I felt my body go tense in fright. Charles sat up next to me.   
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” he looked at me and ran his hand through his messy hair.   
He put on some briefs and a shirt and walked to the front door. I heard some distant chatting, but it was all in Italian, so I couldn’t make out a word. 

Then I heard the door closing and Charles returned with some papers in is hand.   
“It was Mattia,” he said casually, and sat down on the bed next to me.   
“Shit, like your team principal, Mattia? Binotto?” I asked.   
I checked my phone. It was 7 am.   
Is every driver woken up by his team principal? I could hardly imagine my uncle knocking on Daniel’s door to beg him to leave the bed finally - I snorted on the thought. 

Charles shrugged as nothing interesting has happened.   
“Yeah, he gave me some data for today and invited me for breakfast,” he added.   
“And what? You turned him down?” I blinked at him.   
He chuckled and leaned in to place a peck on my lips.   
“Yes. He is a big boy, I am sure he can find another company,” he said and leaned closer to hug me.   
“I wanted to have breakfast with you.” His eyes were shining with hope, I simply couldn’t protest. So I smiled and nodded, and he called room service. 

By the time we got dressed, the breakfast arrived. I ordered an omelette with some fruits on the side, but Charles was only sipping on a green smoothie.   
“So, do you want to go to the track together?” he asked.   
He tried to sound casual, but I have noticed him stealing glances for a minute already.   
My hand with the fork stopped mid air, and I frowned at him.   
“How?” I asked and shook my head. “No way, everyone would notice.”  
He was still looking at me for a few seconds, then he finished his smoothie and shrugged.   
“OK, just asking.” He answered but he remained quiet in the rest of our time together.

After we finished breakfast, we agreed on him leaving first, then after I’m waiting some time for the rest of the team members to leave the hotel, then I’d leave too. 

Before leaving me behind, Charles stepped back from the door for a final kiss.   
“Okay, just leave already.” I said and folded my arms. He grinned and closed the door behind him. 

I checked the time, to see when can I leave. I decided to wait for half an hour, so I went back to the bed and started to fiddle with my phone.

I just scrolled through the news when I heard a muffled iPhone ringtone going on.   
I froze, then since it didn’t stop I started to search for the source of the sound.   
Of course I found that it was Charles’s phone, buried under the sheets.   
Shit, he left it here - I thought and I gripped the device. I knew it well from before, it had a Riva black case - _Oh, such a good boy, always with the sponsors._  
The ringing stopped, but it started again soon, and Pierre Gasly’s name appeared on the screen.   
I frowned. I knew they are friends, but it was strange to call your fellow driver so early in the morning. Anyway I silenced the call, and went on with my reading.   
After another minute a new message appeared on the phone. I really didn’t want to read it, but I couldn’t stop myself from taking a peek.   
It was from Pierre. 

_Clara, please bring my phone with you to the circuit, I really need it._

Suddenly I understood. It was probably Charles calling from Pierre’s phone, since he knew I’m still here so I can bring the phone to him.   
Of course, he can’t send his assistant for it, she would find me. But if I bring it, we have to meet, and risk to be seen.   
Shit.   
I sighed and grabbed the phone anyway. I shoved it deep in my pocket, and left the room. 

It was late enough to not be seen by any of the Formula 1 personnel, well at least not be seen leaving Leclerc’s room. 

As I arrived to the paddock, it was the first time ever when I actually wanted to find Charles and not hiding from him.   
I didn’t dare to go directly to the Ferrari Motorhome of course, neither call back Gasly to have the phone. I haven’t seen him anywhere, so I decided to go to the Energy Station, and wait for a better idea to pop in my head.

The first was my uncle I saw. He was tense, and was drinking a big mug of coffee.   
“‘Morning Christian,” I greeted him.   
“Hi Clara,” he said. “It’s good to see you,” he eased. “What are you up to?”   
_I just want to give this damn phone back to Leclerc_ \- I thought, but instead I said,   
“Well, I’m enjoying the sunshine, feels like spring,” Good old weather talk. We are British, after all. 

After some more small talk, I left him on to his engineers. On my way to the medical office, I met Daniel and Michael. They were clearly on their way to the garage, and I didn’t want to bother, so I just stepped aside, leaning to the wall to let them through. However, both of them stopped.   
“Hey guys,” I smiled at them. “Good luck, Dan,” I added, looking at the Australian.   
“Thanks, Clara,” he said, and smiled. Shortly, an awkward silence fell between the three of us.   
Michael suddenly slapped his forehead.   
“Gee, I forgot my sunglasses in the room,” he exclaimed, and turned to go back where they came from.   
I looked in the direction he disappeared, and then back to Daniel. He didn't say anything, he was just looking at me with his ever bright eyes.   
After some really long seconds, he cleared his throat.   
“You look so bright today,” he said and literally inspected every inch of my body with his eyes. I felt some hotness flow through my chest and neck, arrive to my face to turn me into a walking tomato.   
“What’s different?” He asked interested.  
“Oh, nothing,” I mumbled, and tried hard not to think back to my much satisfying night with his fellow driver. “I’m not different.” 

_Seriously, why can’t I take any compliments? I should have just smiled and shut up._

Anyways, I really doubted I looked any good at that moment, considering I wore my yesterday’s shirt and didn’t have a proper comb to brush my hair. It was a miracle I had my makeup kit with me yesterday, when I ended up in Leclerc’s bed. 

“No, really, I mean, you are well rested or something,” he said. I tried to smile, but felt I was probably red till the tip of my ears already.   
“Anyway, I need to go, quali starts in like five,” he chirped.   
“OK, see you,” I nodded and let him go by. He gently touched my shoulder as he passed. 

I waited until I didn’t look like a fool anymore, then I headed to the garage. Q1 already started, and offered no surprise. The two Williams and Racing Points fell out with Grosjean.   
Our boys did well, Max was the fastest, Leclerc was second and Daniel secured third place. 

In the short break between Q1 and Q2, I finally had an idea about how to give the iPhone back to Charles. I pulled on a pink sweater to disguise my Red Bull shirt, and I hurried out to the paddock, heading to the direction of the Ferrari Motorhome.

My original idea was to get to the terrace, and give the phone to anyone there, saying I just found it on a table, but as soon as I stepped on Ferrari territory, my eyes found Leclerc.  
He was inside the building, chatting with his engineers and Mia. 

I exhaled, and walked towards them, hoping he sees me and gets hold of his damn iPhone finally.

I nearly reached them when he recognised me, and nodded with his head to his right, in the direction of a small, side terrace covered with palm trees.  
 _How many terraces do these people have?_

I rolled my eyes but walked there and I was shortly joined by Charles. He was sweaty and wore his racing suit along with his balaklava.  
“Hi. Good job in Q1,” I said. “Too bad you will miss the rest because you are chatting outside, waiting for the enemy to return your phone.” I smirked. He got off the white balaklava and wiped his face with a towel. He looked good, even like this.  
“Yeah, but I could not send Mia back for it, right?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. He was right, but I didn’t admit it, only grimaced and handed him the phone. He took it, but he grabbed my hand as well.  
“Nice shirt,” he smirked at my pink sweater. “I like it so much better than the Red Bull one beneath it.” _Oh my god, is he really watching my breasts?_  
I rolled my eyes, and freed my hand from his before anybody sees us.   
“Clara you really look good,” he said before he put his helmet on. “I want to kiss you so bad now.”  
I frowned. What is it today with these guys and their strange compliments? I shook my head and stepped away from the Monégasque.   
“Bye Charles,” I said and left the Ferrari building as if it was on fire.

The rest of the qualification went on, still no surprise. Max and Daniel managed to get 1st and 3rd place, with Charles in between them.  
Everyone was hopeful for the race again. We were cheering with Vicky at the parc fermé. I watched Max jumping out of his car and shaking hands with Charles and Daniel. After that as always, he galloped to his team members who lined up at the gate.   
By some miracle, I was in the first row, so I got a sweaty hug from both of our drivers. Daniel even sent me a small wink which made me grin back. As I averted my gaze from the Australian driver I saw Charles just noticed me in the crowd. I couldn’t see his face - he still had his helmet on, but I could tell he didn’t like what he saw.

While Max had his interview with Paul Di Resta, my eyes wandered to the other two drivers. It seemed like they had a little chat at the back. At least I could see that Daniel tried to make a conversation, but the Monégasque only shrugged and stepped away from him. I saw the visible confusion on Daniel’s face.   
My stomach clenched on the thought that Charles is acting like a prick because of me being on good terms with the Australian. 

After the interviews the guys arrived back to the garage, and gladly accepted the hugs and handshakes from the rest of the team members.   
“Hey guys, a little silence please!” I heard Christian above our heads. The chatter became more quiet as he continued. “Last race was less than ideal for us. But that’s the past and this weekend with renewed strength and enthusiasm we come back for our well deserved win. I’d like to congratulate for our boys for their outstanding performance as well as this incredible team behind them,” he said and started to clap which everyone followed, resulting in a happy, loud cheering.

In the loud crowd, I didn’t hear my phone pinging.   
_See, that’s why I needed my phone. When do you finish today?_

I didn’t have a chance to answer to Charles’s message, because Vicky found me with a huge grin.   
“Hey Clara, why do you hide in the corner?” she asked, looking at the phone in my hand. Jake also walked to us, still holding Max’s racing gear. “Never mind. We are going out to celebrate and eat, are you coming?” she asked.  
“Sure,” I nodded and followed them. 

We were soon joined by Michael and Dan, Max promised to meet us later since he needed to check something with his engineers.   
We decided on a nice, quiet restaurant on the seaside with a beautiful panorama. The weather was still warm and sunny, so I pulled my chair a bit from our table to sit in the sunshine. I turned my head towards the sun and closed my eyes to enjoy it as I was listening to the conversation of the others.   
“Jake, you can’t eat this much and still not gain any weight,” I heard Vicky complaining. “I eat an apple and I put on three pounds.” The trainer only chuckled.   
“You should just work out more, Vicky“ he said.   
“Yeah, probably.” she answered, deep in thoughts.   
“Hey, why don’t you go to run together?” I heard Daniel, which made me open my eyes and look at him. He was also looking at me.   
“Clara, you run, right? Max told me you’re good,” he grinned. “Why don’t you girls go run together?” He asked. “You can go around the track, a lot of people do that.”

Michael and Jake looked at each other and burst out in laughing.   
“Man, you only want to see our girls in their tight running shorts,” Jake looked at the Australian suspiciously.   
“That’s… not what I meant,” Daniel shook his head, but couldn’t hide his face turning more pink.  
“Actually, it’s a great idea,” Vicky said. “Aurelie told me the other day, she’s having some knee issues on the treadmill. Maybe I can ask her to join?”  
I nodded in agreement. I also lacked motivation lately, and these restaurant feasts didn’t help to maintain my form.   
“It sounds great,” I said. “But only if we have breakfast and coffee afterwards,” I said closing my eyes again.   
“Okay,” Vicky said. “I let the girls know we meet at seven on the track.”

We stayed at the restaurant for another hour, to watch the sunset. As I saw Vicky and Jake standing at the end of the terrace - closely side by side - a strange, uneasy feeling emerged from my stomach. I sighed, then I fished my phone out of my pocket and tapped on Charles’s number to text him, only to find he already sent one - again. 

_“Clara, we can’t meet tonight. Mattia lured me into some sponsor dinner. So sorry!”_

I sighed. It looked like I’ll have a lonely evening. Not like I wasn’t the one to say we can’t meet. Like, at all. And now, I shouldn’t have any right to feel sad or left alone.   
However, seeing Vicky with Jake then this rejecting message from Leclerc made me feel my heart pumping empty, without purpose.

I leaned to the cold railing, and realised with the sun setting, the temperature also dropped, and I didn’t have anything to wear on the top of my thin Red bull shirt.  
“Here, take this,” I heard as a giant yellow hoodie appeared magically in front of my face. I turned to my side to see Daniel holding out his hoodie towards me.   
“Thanks, but I’m fine,” I lied, mainly because I didn’t want him to get a cold. Christian would kill us all.  
But he insisted, stepped towards me, and gently covered my back, placing the arm parts on my shoulders.  
“Don’t say you’re fine, you are shivering,” he said and looked me in the eye. I could immediately feel warmer, and also his scent hit me, hard.   
“Thank you, Daniel,” I nodded, and averted my gaze to watch the last moments of sunset.  
“You are welcome, Clara,” He said, and slid a few inches closer as he also turned to watch the sky. 

I realised we were leaning to each other when Jake told us it’s time for going back to the hotel.


	12. Take me away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm sorry it took a while to update. As a compensation, here is an extra long chapter! :)  
> What do you think? Are you rooting for Charles or Daniel? 
> 
> I hope I can update regularly because this whole COVID situation affects me pretty much. I hope you stay home, wash your hands, read a lot and support those poor writers updating in the middle of the night. :)
> 
> Also, I'm devastated about the cancellation of the races, couldn't wait to see our babies.

Meeting with Vicki for a run on the track didn’t look like so much of a fabulous idea when my alarm went off at 5 am. It was still dark outside, and I almost convinced myself to lay back to the comfortable bed when Vicki knocked on my door.  
“HA!” She shrieked a lot louder than it was acceptable on a hotel’s hallway in the morning hours.  
“I knew you will want to escape,” she pointed at me, looking at my pink pyjamas. “Come on, get yourself together. I’ll just wait for you here,” she stated and sat down on my bed.  
I looked at her - totally ready in a well composed RB workout wear - then started to change. 

Thanks to Vicki‘s enthusiasm we arrived to the track early enough to still be let to run a lap. We met Daniel’s PR officer, Aurelie in the hotel's lobby. We’ve been introduced before, and I quite liked her. She was English as well, modest but cheerful and positive all the time. Not last, she could handle Daniel’s crazy personality with so much patience that I admired.

All three of us wore the same Red bull logoed dark blue leggings and tops. It was still quite cold so I had my raincoat on top.  
After arriving we began to do our own warm up routine quietly at the box entrance.

“Hey, here!” I heard Vicki screaming - again, what’s up with this girl today? - to the direction of the pit lane. I spun, and recognised two figures jogging in our direction. As they got closer I recognised it’s Charles’s PR officer Mia, along with the legendary Britta Roeske. All the girls greeted each other with wide smiles and hugs. Vicki introduced me to Britta. She was all smiles and looked organised and looked professional even in this early hour. I admired her before, she was working with Vettel for years, and the whole F1 world knew and loved her.  
“It’s so great you could make it, girls,” Vicki smiled and clapped. “So, shall we?” She asked, and pointed to the direction of the track.  
I nodded and all of us started to run in a comfortable pace. It turned out Vicky was in a better shape than she admitted. Maybe, she was working out secretly to impress Jake - I thought and smirked to myself as I started to run a bit faster. Shortly, we were joined by Aurelie and Mia as well. 

As the sun rose and started to shine properly, the temperature got higher. Soon, I felt hot in my raincoat, so I quickly jogged to the railing of the track to leave it there for the next round.  
“That’s it doc! Show us some skin!” I heard a whistle from the distance. I snapped, and saw Daniel and Michael coming to my direction. I showed them up my middle finger to suppress their unashamed giggles and also my embarrassment. 

After six miles we slowed down to a comfortable jog, waited for one other and ended up chatting a bit.  
“You wouldn't believe how easier it is,” said Britta and took a sip from her ferrari red water jug.  
“I can only imagine,” said Mia. “It must be a dream. With Charles being on every possible social media, I have to deal with questioning from the Office of the Queen of Monaco weekly.” She said and the German nodded with sympathy.  
“The other day for example, he posted his sad puppy face in his stories saying he has to have dinner with some Kaspersky representatives as it’s the end of the world,” she continued and I walked closer to hear everything, and pretended to be casually sipping on my water.  
“I mean what it is all about? I asked him, but he only said he had other plans already,” she grimaced. “I can only think about he had some secret rendezvous scheduled.” 

It was like in the movies, I choked on the water in my mouth. I froze and could only cough for a while, Aurelie had to stop to rub my back.  
“Are you OK?” She asked, looking concerned. I managed to nod between two coughs.  
“Anyways,” said Aurelie, when she saw I’ll live. “You can’t say it’s more difficult than managing Daniel Ricciardo. Yesterday he basically harassed random people of the paddock with his random striptease dance.”  
“Oh, we saw that!” Britta said with pure amusement. “Mattia thanked all his gods Daniel is not doing all that in a red overall.”  
This made all of us giggle. I knew exactly what she meant, that guy was unbelievable. He was so crazy and unrestrictable. But the same time he was incredibly funny, polite and friendly. I also loved spending time with him. At least most of the times, if I don’t count the occasions when he was a complete idiot and seemed like he couldn’t even form proper words in my presence. God, I wish I knew what’s on his mind.

 _What’s on his mind? Fuck, Clara, now where is this coming from?_ \- I thought as I realised I’m still grinning like a fool. I tried to wave away these strange, new thoughts with looking around.

I walked at the back, the other four girls were heading in the direction of what seemed like the one to the Ferrari Motorhome. I looked at the red building with some reasonable doubts.  
“Girls, what’s the plan?” I asked suspiciously. Vicki turned back to look at me, raising her eyebrows.  
“Where were you in the last five minutes? We are going to have the best espresso in the paddock!” She nodded her head to the direction of Britta and Mia. “They invited all of us for breakfast! It’s so kind! This was your condition on agreeing in all this, you remember, right?”

Right. Of course, I remembered, but nobody told me we’re going to have breakfast behind enemy lines. I nodded, not so convincing.  
“It’s so exciting,” Vicki grinned. “I never dined at Ferrari. But hey, don’t tell Christian, OK?” she added. I promised, and sighed as we stepped over the threshold of the Italian team. 

The Ferrari’s cafeteria was way bigger than the one we had at Red bull. Huge windows let the sunshine in, enlightening the long bar with smiling baristas, all busy with brewing amazing smelling coffees. We stood in the line, and noticed a few heads turned in our direction. Britta managed the situation easily, waving a bit and introducing us to some curious engineers. Everyone seemed to be interested in some new faces.

Finally, after some chit chat we sat down to a table next to the vast windows. I looked around to check if Charles was anywhere near, but I didn’t see him. I was still angry - not at him but mostly at myself - about last night, letting my feelings take me away and literally longing for him. I vowed it was a one night stand - OK, multiple night stand. But definitely no strings attached and yesterday I was missing him. I gulped at the thought. 

“Did you see how many types of omelette do these guys have?” Aurelie asked as she sat down, with three different types of eggs waiting on her plet. She took a look at mine, only with a few pieces of fruits on it.  
“What’s wrong? You’re not eating?” she asked. I shook my head.  
“No, not hungry,’ I mumbled.

“Britta, what a nice refreshment for the eyes that you brought your friends,” out of nowhere, Sebastian Vettel appeared at our table. It turned out everyone knew him from before, so I was the only one who got introduced. He shook my hand briefly.  
“It’s nice to meet you, Clara,” his smile was honest. “I hope you girls visit us more in the future. Way too many gigolos here if you ask me,” he said and winked at me. He exchanged a few words with Britta in German then he looked in the direction of the door and quickly excused himself saying he needs to start his warm up asap. And with that he jogged away. 

He just left when Charles entered the cafeteria with the Ferrari’s team principal Mattia Binotto. They didn’t notice us first, but after turning to find a seat, the young Monégasque immediately caught my eye. Visible surprise appeared on his face, and I tried to show an apologetic grimace to show him that it wasn’t my idea to come here, and that I’m sorry. 

However, he didn’t appear to be bothered, only the opposite. His mouth slid into a happy grin, and he immediately excused himself to leave his boss to walk to our table.  
“‘Morning ladies,” he greeted us. “Welcome to Ferrari,” he said. Looking into his eyes I saw the usual desire. I could only hope the others didn't see the confident little smirk appearing in the corner of his mouth. Last time I saw that was yesterday morning in his hotel room.  
_God. Should I really do this?_  
I blushed and started to fiddle with Aurelie’s fork on the table.  
“I hope you enjoy yourselves here,” his eyes were beaming, he really seemed happy about us being here.  
“Thank you Charles,” said Vicki and nodded politely.  
Charles looked at me again but then thankfully the conversation was pretty much over as he needed to get back to his boss. We resumed to our breakfasts and coffees as well. 

“He is such a nice guy,” said Aurelie watching him leave.  
Vicki laughed at her.  
“Actually, you just checked out his butt. So tell me how nice he is exactly?” She laughed, as the British blonde blushed.  
“OK I admit he’s cute OK? But I’m hardly the only one thinking that!” She stroked back.  
We all giggled.  
“Yeah, you should see his mailbox! Not to mention his cabin, there’re fangirls waiting in line outside. We needed to hire extra security personnel to keep it clear.” Mia added with a grimace.  
I was the only one not laughing anymore. I felt like I’m just like one of those girls. Fuck, what if Charles thinks that too? Now, I lost all my appetite so I left that sad little piece of melon alone on my plate.  
“Vicki don’t you think we need to get back?” I asked. She looked at her watch and grimaced.  
“Yeah, probably we should,” she nodded. “Girls, it was a pleasure, I think we should do this again!” The rest nodded at her request immediately.  
“Yes, and next time you’re our guests at RB,” said Aurelie. I couldn’t shake my head harder in agreement.  
We said our goodbyes to the ferrari girls. On our way out I didn’t see Charles, which was honestly a pleasure. I was thinking of the fangirls of his. And that ex girlfriend of his. What was her name? Maxine? I felt like a fool about thinking about all of this. What am I doing, really?

“God, someone is deep thoughts, ha?” Max’s voice woke me up as we arrived back to the Energy Station. I looked up to him as he hugged me. He managed to make me smile somehow.  
“Where were you?” he asked, looking at the other girls and our training clothes.  
“We ran a lap on the track,” I said proudly and added, “With Vicki and Aurelie plus the two Ferrari press officer girls.” He whistled admiringly.  
“Well done. I like that you make friends,” he said. “Hey, I’m sorry he couldn’t hang out lately, but maybe we can schedule something next week?” He asked looking at me hopefully.  
“Yes, totally,” I smiled at him.  
“Cool, now I need to win a race,” he giggled, and went on to the garage. 

And indeed, he did win the race. This Azerbaijan Grand Prix was never going to be remembered as anything exciting. I was glad there wasn’t any incident on track, and the cars went in rounds for one and a half hours. I think Sebastian took over Bottas once, and a Haas had a puncture, but I’m not sure who was it.

I spent most of the time on Instagram, spying on some fanpage of Charles. He seemed friendly with the fans, taking pictures and selfies all the time. Not long I found his pictures of ex girlfriends as well. I was not surprised none of them looked like me a bit and that made my heart clench. Soon, I realised I have nothing to see there and quickly closed the app. 

I looked up to see where they are on the race at that moment, but I faced Vicki who was standing in front of me and looking suspiciously.  
“What is up with you?” she asked wrinkling her forehead. I raised my eyebrows.  
“Nothing,” I hurried to say. I could see she wasn’t convinced, but decided to leave me to it.

I didn’t want to go out to the podium ceremony so I was waiting for the boys to return to the garage to congratulate them.  
I hugged Max with a wide smile.  
“Well done Max,” I hugged him tight. “I’m not gonna say how good you’re because you are already spoiled.” I added. Over the Dutch’s shoulder I saw Daniel. He was standing near us, chatting with Christian. He just stole a glance, looking over to us.

After I released Max I slinked around them. As they saw me my uncle turned and one could see he was beaming.  
“Hi Clara, what a great day, right?” He asked proudly. “One and third place, amazing!”  
“It’s thrilling!” I agreed and looked up to Daniel. “Nice job, Ricciardo!” I grinned.  
“Thank you, Clara,” he smiled at me. The usual awkward silence fell between us again. 

I started to fiddle with my nails, and bit my lips until I remembered what I wanted to ask him two days ago.  
“You know what?” I asked him. He looked at me, waiting. “I think we should remove your stitches.”  
“You think? Great!” His warm, brown eyes lit up to the idea.  
“Yes,” I nodded confidently, but in my head I had my thoughts and doubts speeding faster than a formula one car.  
“So…” he started, hesitantly. I crossed my arms on my chest but tried to smile to look easy and casual.  
“So, you can come to my room in the evening. I have what we need there, and as we finish you can head off to the party,” I jabbered, but he seemed to understand, because he was nodding and smiling.  
“Fine, I’ll be there. Message me the room number, when you’re ready,” he said.  
“Well, Daniel, I don’t know your number,” I enlightened him. But that was it, I blushed - again.  
He coughed, then he reached out with his hand. I didn’t understand what he wanted first, but then I got it - he asked for my phone. I handed him the device without the most miniscule hesitation. After he had it in his palm I realised what a fucked up situation it would be if that was the moment when Charles decides to call me or text.  
But fortunately neither of that happened. He typed in his number and gave the phone back.  
We agreed on messaging and both of us went on their way. 

“So I guess then we are not drinking together before leaving for the party, right?” Max stepped next to me. He had a shit eating grin on his face.  
“What? Why?” I asked. He looked at me with an all-knowing look.  
“See you later,” he said and walked away to give an interview after joined by Vicki.

In my room I caught myself nervously organising stuff. I prepared my medical bag. I made the bed. I put all my clothes and my suitcase away.  
I decided on to deal with Daniel’s arm first, then I would get ready properly for the party. I still had a lot of time, and I didn’t want Daniel to think I’m dressing up for him. That would be the craziest idea. Right?  
So I was browsing in the directory to find his number but couldn’t find it anywhere. After several minutes, as the latest contact I got it: The Prettiest Man Alive.  
Haha. What a dick. I chuckled and texted a short message.  
_Hey, the doctor’s in. Room 201 :)_

I didn’t really understand why did I check myself in the mirror for the third time in the few minutes that passed until Daniel arrived. I had a plain leggings and a Red Bull t-shirt on, my curly hair in a top knot.  
On the other hand, he was already dressed up and god, he looked fabulous. He wore a black shirt with dark blue jeans. But instead of his well known wide smile he got a confused look on his face when I invited him in.  
“Hey, are you not coming to the party?” He asked, pointing at my leggings.  
“Well, once I’m finished with my doctor duties, my fairy godmother comes and turns me into my much nicer version. Don’t worry,” I waved him down with a cheeky smile.  
“Awesome, so I didn’t bring this for nothing,” and with that he handed me a whole bottle of tequila. I was surprised he chose my favourite spirit, but I didn’t mention it so he won’t think I’m an alcoholic or something. I was just grinning instead.  
“Wow, Ricciardo! What is it with you and Max turning up with alcohol at my door?” I asked. He put his hand on his heart with a faked painful face.  
“Clara, don’t twist the knife. Max was here?”  
I laughed at his theatrical reaction.  
“Well, he wasn’t here… Anyways, show me your arm,” I ordered and pointed to the bed.  
He nodded, sat down and folded up his sleeve. I kneeled before him, hence there was simply no other position which I had better access to work. I realised how this situation was like. I tried really hard not to look up to Daniel, so I won’t turn into flames.  
“Does it hurt?” He asked, while he leaned over me to take a peek on the forceps and the scalpel I had in my hand. “Gee’, why do you have a scalpel?” He asked, terrified.  
“Quiet, or I’ll cut you,” I giggled. “It’s only for the yarn by the way.”

After I finished I relieved, the scar looked pretty decent.  
“So cool, thank you, Clara,” he said in awe as he examined my work himself.  
“Well, it looks badass,” I agreed.  
A short silence covered the room. I sighed as I didn’t know what should I say or what comes next. I didn’t want us to be awkward again, so my mind was racing for some topic to talk about. Daniel was still observing the scar on his arm, but after a minute he sighed as well while ran his hand through his hair.  
“OK, so I feel we should open your thank you gift,” he proposed, and jumped up to open the tequila.  
“To our team doctor who saved this arm,” he raised his glass after handing me mine. I giggled. This guy was unbelievable.  
“I’m saying it for the last time, Ricciard, no one's arm was in need to be saved,” I said and clinked our glasses. “Cheers.”  
“Cheers,” he said and drank up the shot. “Now, get ready,” he said, and settled on my bed comfortably. He looked like he was planning on waiting. It made me raise my eyebrows.  
“Do you want to wait for me?” I asked. He looked at me like it was the most obvious thing on the face of the Earth.  
“‘Course, girl,” he nodded, and put a pillow under his head.  
There wasn’t any place to protest, so I went to the bathroom to get ready. While I showered, I heard him turning on the TV, then speaking on the phone for a while.  
I decided on wearing a dark green v necked dress. I applied some mascara and red lipstick. I let my hair down, it was half wet anyways, but I didn’t want to make Daniel wait anymore.

I left the bathroom, only to see him pouring to our glasses again.  
“Hey, we just had the previous one,” I protested. He spun. While he looked at me his expression was priceless, even his mouth stayed open a little.  
“Erm,” he cleared his throat. “It was ages ago, come on,” he answered and handed me the drink. 

After our third shot half an hour later we were in the middle of a heated debate about the advantages and disadvantages of living in England.  
“I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to live somewhere more warm, but only for a while,” I insisted. “I love the changing of the seasons, and I’d definitely miss winter.”  
“Oh I love snow, but I prefer sunshine far more,” he said. “For example, snowboarding is much more fun in sand dunes than in the snow,” he laughed.  
“No way, I live for that week all year I usually spend snowboarding in France,” I explained, and this time I was the one pouring the drinks. 

I enjoyed talking to him, and with the help of the alcohol I didn’t feel embarrassed in his presence. He was easy to talk to, we could discuss the most crazy topics without any awkward silence. It was a far more pleasant experience than the last time he visited my room.  
I smiled at him before I finished my drink. He was sitting on the bed next to me, with his torso turned to me. I felt the easy dizziness from the drinks clouding my thoughts gently. This was the only thing making me able to hold his gaze that long, otherwise I would have looked away seconds ago. My mouth automatically mimicked his gentle smile as I got lost in his warm, brown orbs.  
“Clara, I…” He whispered really quietly, but he couldn’t finish, because my phone pinged loud on the table. It was enough to break the spell. He looked away, I sighed and got up to check my phone. Of course, it was a message from Charles. I felt my face turn more hot after I realised I completely forgot about him since being with Daniel.  
_Where are you? I hope you’re not mad at me from before_ \- he wrote. 

After not responding - again - to his message, I showed the phone in my purse. Daniel was still looking at me, waiting.  
"So, shall we?" I asked. He didn't respond immediately, so I specified the question.  
"Shall we go to the party?"  
He grimaced, clearly the tequila made its effect on him as well.  
"Only if you want to..." he mumbled, but his hesitation showed hardly any enthusiasm. I checked the time. It was already half past ten. He was going to be killed not to arrive to the party like two hours ago.  
"What?" I frowned. "You don't want to go?"  
He smiled at me again, and shook his head slowly.  
"No, I'm having the best time already," he said.  
I smiled nervously, and only the previous drinks made me able to answer.  
"God, Daniel we can't stay here." I said.  
He pouted, but stood up as well, looking convinced.  
"Yes, I know. It was much more I hoped for anyways," he whispered - not to me, just for himself. It made me blush and smile at the same time. I stepped closer to him, gently placing my hand on his injured arm, squeezing it.  
"Come on, it'll be fun," I said. He nodded and followed me outside.

My thoughts were that if we arrive at the party I would find Vicki as fast as possible, and spend the rest of the night with her. I didn't know if Daniel's comments meant anything or it was just a drunk guy's flirting. And also there was Charles and _his_ flirting, which I didn’t have the strength to deal with after those tequila shots.

We arrived together with the car which was waiting only for Daniel. I was thankful for the driver to park at the back entrance, so we didn't attract any attention.  
As we got inside and people began to notice he Australian driver, a whole little audience gathered around him in a minute. All of them wanted to chat a little, joke around or just pat his shoulder. Everybody liked him so much, which I could only watch with an understanding smile on my face. 

"OMG, Dina, HE is here!" I heard a shriek behind my back. I didn't need to turn to check the girl whose especially annoying voice made my eardrums hurt, because the next second she and her friend bumped into me and pushed me out of their way to get closer to Daniel.  
I nearly fell to a column next to me.  
"What the fuck?" I whispered with disbelief.  
I watched the two girls pushing through a dozen of people to get to Daniel. Of course he smiled at them as he gave autographs and chatted a little. The girls were young - maybe around 20, one blonde and one ginger. They had expensive clothes on, so I was sure they were not simple fans sneaking into the club.

Daniel seemed to enjoy his fan club, and didn’t care for me so much anymore. _That’s what I thought._ I sight and left to find Vicki. She was on the dance floor with Jake and Aurelie.  
"Clara, where were you?" Vicki asked as she greeted me. I only shook my head in the loud music, not answering, only grabbing her drink from her hand and gulped down it at once.  
"I'm here so let's dance," I answered and grabbed her hand to turn her around. Her giggle made my mood a bit brighter.  
After a while I took a look around I realised Daniel was dancing with one of the girls - the blonde one a little further away. It wasn't something intimate but it made me roll my eyes at the sight.  
"Look, Daniel's got some fan at him," Aurelie smirked, meaning the couple swaying to the rhythm of the music. I thought it would avoid some misunderstanding if I act like I haven't been watching them pissed off in the last ten minutes.  
"Oh, I see. Is he this nice with all the fans?" I asked, sounding casual. Aurelie laughed in my face.  
"Only with the girls," she stated the obvious. "But yes, he's always in for some flirting. Even me, he compliments all the time. I guess he's just that nice." As she finished praising Ricciardo, my stomach turned upside down. Now, our previous, intimate couple of hours spent with talking felt ridiculous. I didn't know what did I think behind all that but obviously that was much more than I should have thought.  
"Yes, I could see that," I sighed, and excused myself to get another drink. 

Soon I returned, and continued to dance with our teammates, including Max who could finally get rid of my uncle and Marko.  
"Where's Daniel?" He asked me loudly, trying to make himself heard through the music.  
"He's probably somewhere _quiet_ with that fan girl," I said, bitterly emphasised the word quiet.  
He raised his eyebrows in surprise.  
"Geez, if that's true that guy is dumber than I thought," he stated, shaking his head.  
I didn't know exactly what he meant but I didn’t want to deal with that any more and tried to have a bit of fun. After I grabbed Max to drink a shot together, we returned to the team and danced a little more. 

I didn't count how many drinks did I have but based on Daniel's behaviour, I also must have been drunk by that time.  
I giggled with Vicki at the bar flirting with a waiter when I heard a well known french accent behind my back.  
"Hey," Charles greeted us. He looked perfect as always, his hair was artistically organised in a disheveled way and he wore my favourite dark blue shirt of his.  
"Wow, hello Charles," Vicki said kindly. She was clearly surprised about Leclerc coming over to us for the second time that day. I mumbled a simple hi.  
I really didn't know how to act. I was pissed off about Daniel flirting with everyone. But before that I was pissed off because Charles didn't take me home on Saturday, he went on a dinner with some sponsors instead.  
But mostly, I was pissed off because I seemed to care about all these things. 

I sighed and turned away of them, back to the cute waiter to order my next drink. I felt if I drink a bit more, maybe I forget about all of this mess I was sure only existed in my head.  
"I think you shouldn't drink any more," I heard Charles whispering in my ear. I felt his breath on my skin and it made me shiver.  
I turned a bit to look at him.  
"I do whatever I want, you know," I said annoyed. He watched me with some concern in his green eyes. Slowly, he nodded.  
"I know," he said and warily put his palm on the small of my back. "Do you want to come with me?"  
He was looking at me hopefully, his thumb was caressing my back. I tear my gaze away, I looked at my other side. Vicki was talking to some other guy in a Haas uniform and behind them I could see Daniel talking with the McLaren drivers, Lando and Carlos. Next to them I could still see the bored fan girls waiting for them to finish the conversation. The whole scene made me roll my eyes and I turned back to Charles.  
"I do," I answered him. A relieved smile instantly appeared on his face.  
"I'll wait for you outside," he said and left to walk to the direction of the back entrance. 

I told Vicki that I'm tired and I want go back to the hotel. On my way to the entrance I passed Ricciardo and the two Mclaren drivers, already chatting with the girls. I saw Daniel noticing me, but I only looked at him briefly and I was sure my gaze wasn't welcoming a bit.  
“Hey Clara,” he shouted over me. Yep, he was definitely drunk. I only rose my eyebrow, looking at him.  
“Hey, come here I want to introduce you to a couple of friends,” he said but I only scoffed, not even stopping.  
“No thanks,” I said and continued my way to the door.

Outside Charles was waiting for me leaning next to a black Alfa Romeo.  
"You are not driving, right?" I asked him when he opened the door for me.  
"I didn't drink any alcohol. Not like you. So I guess I'll manage," he smirked, but his acting, mocking me made me angry.  
"Ok, then just drive and leave me alone," I snapped. "You can take me to my hotel," I added offended.  
"Don't be ridiculous, I haven’t seen you all night," he said, looking at me like it was obviously a big thing. I felt too tired and sleepy to argue so I just shook my head and looked out of the window. 

We parked in his hotel's garage, then headed to his room through the back staircase.  
"Veeery secretive," I was mocking bitterly, scoffing and stumbling in my high heeled shoes.  
Charles was next to me and steadied me immediately with his firm hands.  
"Watch your steps, please," he asked me and he opened his door with the magnetic card.  
I felt this caring, protective attitude a bit annoying, but I didn't say anything because I needed to pee so much that my first thing was to rush into the toilet as we entered the room. 

As I was finished, it was obvious why I was so pissed off, annoyed all day. My period began, and as always I acted like a bitch these days.  
Poor guys, and girls. Now I felt sorry for them. Dear luteinizing hormone, follicle-stimulating hormone, estrogen and progesterone, I’m sure nobody ever asked for you.  
I sighed and thanked my whit to always had a tampon in my purse.

Outside, Charles was waiting for me with a glass of water in his hand. I silently accepted and drank all of it. I was grateful, since I exactly knew the hangover feeling mostly comes from dehydration.  
"Thanks," I said. He nodded and got hold of my hand.  
"Come here," he whispered, and gave a chaste kiss on my lips. He guided me straight to the king sized bed.  
"Wait, wait," I stopped before getting on the mattress. "We can't do it."  
Charles looked at me confused.  
"What?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.  
"We can't have sex, I'm bleeding," I repeated, a bit impatient.  
He chuckled. He pushed me gently down to the bed and covered me with the sheets.  
"We're not having sex," he said and hugged me from behind. "I just want you to be here." He kissed my shoulder and after a couple of minutes he fell asleep. 

I smiled, and settled for sleep as well - but I couldn't for a long time.  
As I saw the first rays of sunshine through the half drawn in curtain I began to wonder if that blonde girl went home alone from the party or she's also sharing a bed - with another Formula 1 driver.


	13. High Hopes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm sorry about updating this late, but life happens. I wish I was home in a quarantine. 
> 
> Anyways, a long chapter is here, i got a little carried away with emotions! :O   
> But I guess it will stay like this until the end :D
> 
> Enjoy.

We had two weeks before the next race - Barcelona. The team members were always excited about the Spanish GP, but not because they liked the circuit itself. In fact they already got bored of it, since it was also the place for the winter testing. Instead, everyone liked the atmosphere of the city with the sunshine, the beach, the food and drinks.

But until that, we still had more or less a week to spend with work in England. Well, the team tested and held briefings and I spent most of the days in the medical office. There was another team doctor working in Milton Keynes, but I didn’t meet him. He was on vacation, so Lee and I had to substitute him for the week. 

Wednesday afternoon I was sitting in my chair with my feet up on another one - bad habit I knew but it stuck while working long shifts. One had to grab every opportunity to prevent formation of varicose veins.  
I closed my eyes for a minute to think through the topics of the first FIA training for the team doctors I supposed to held next weekend in Barcelona. I consulted Dr. Conrad on the phone that morning, and he was still very excited about the idea. We agreed on sending out the application emails next day. 

Honestly, I nearly fell asleep when someone knocked on the door.   
“Come in,” I shouted. The door opened slowly an inch, and Daniel’s head popped in. He got an anxious look on his face and I froze in the chair. Last time we talked was Sunday at the GP closing party in Baku. He was flirting and dancing with some fangirls, and I got so pissed about it. Well, I had no right to speak to him so rudely like I did, but it hurt for sure. Especially after having such a great time together previously.

“Hi,” he started, still not brave enough to enter. I could just resist a smirk, remembering the last time he came into my office he nearly teared the door down bursting in.  
“Hello Daniel, come in,” I said with an indifferent tone and took my feet down from the chair.   
He did and closed the door behind him. He stood there so hopeless I almost felt pity for him.   
“Can I help?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. He sighed and ran his hand through his brown curly locks.   
“Look, I know I was an asshole in Baku,” he started. “And I feel like shit since then.”   
He in fact looked like shit. I wasn’t the one who thought Daniel Ricciardo was not handsome in any circumstances, but standing in the sterile medical office atmosphere he just looked lost and sad. He got on our team shirt and training trousers. I’m sure they were testing all day in the lab and it’s supposed to be his lunchtime.   
I softened by his repentant look and shook my head.  
“Hey, it’s OK, I, too probably overreacted it,” I murmured. “I had a little too much of your tequila.”   
“Well, it was your tequila,” he said, and a little spark appeared in his eyes. I looked up and smiled at him. This broke the ice and he let himself giggle a bit.   
“Yes, it was mine. But you poured!” I protested. He nodded and raised his hands protectively.  
“OK, I admit I poured. It was my fault. May I have some forgiveness?” He asked with the most adorable puppy eyes I ever saw. It even made me bite my lower lip. I enjoyed the view for a few seconds then I nodded slowly.   
“Sure.”  
He was now grinning like fool. He even took a step closer to the table I was sitting at. 

“Awesome,” he said, and a second later a faint shadow of doubt appeared on his face again. “So I wanted to ask something else,” he sighed. “Back in the club.”  
I froze again, waiting for him to finish, as the uneasy feeling overcame me again.   
“So Carlos is organising a party in Spain next week before the race,” he explained. “He did one last year, it was pretty decent,” he continued. “Most of the drivers were there, but no media. We are still laughing about the photos,” he explained and judging from his expression, those pictures must have been worth heavy money to the press.

“Kimi made a selfie with everyone around 4 am. Including the dozed off Nico, who wore only a spanish flag at that point.”   
I chuckled on the thought as I tried to imagine the situation. It wasn’t that hard based on the stories I already heard about these guys.   
“I see.” I answered still laughing. 

“So, would you like to come?” He asked out of nowhere. I stopped laughing and looked at him with surprise.   
“If you don’t want to it’s OK,” he continued, a little less eager. “But I’d be happy to have you there,” he added.   
“Oh, I’m happy to go,” I said. “I mean it sounds fun.”  
He grinned again, and nodded with excitement.   
“It is, you’ll see,” he said. I smiled at him, but I still wasn’t sure what I just agreed in.   
“Listen, I have to go now,” he checked his phone, then opened the door. “But see you around, OK?”  
“OK,” I nodded and waved as he left. I was smiling long after that, imagining the drivers on those party photos. 

Next day, in the evening I was with Max, sitting in his apartment, eating chinese food and just talking.   
“Nah, I don’t think I’d want anything serious right now,” he grimaced as sipped a bit from his beer. We were talking about relationships - well, we were talking about _his_ relationships, I carefully avoided direct answers so far on my side.  
“I just want to focus on my career now, maybe have a bit fun on the way,” he grinned. 

I laughed, but anyways I completely understood him. He was under an enormous amount of pressure, and having a girlfriend had its ups and downs and required a lot of effort. If he didn’t feel like putting in the extra work, then there was no point in forcing it.   
“The other thing is that this life is not for everyone, you know,” he looked at me. “Usually, girls think it’s all a great fun, but in the end of the day they get a dead tired guy with like five minutes of free time per day,” he explained. “Then realising this they get hysterical, and things doesn’t end well,” he sighed as he finished his sesame chicken noodle.

“So, what about you?” He asked suddenly, offering me another beer. I took it to save some seconds to think.  
“What about me?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.   
“Is there someone you’re interested in?” His tone was too casual, it made me suspicious.   
“No, there isn’t,” I lied. 

However I didn't think it would be a hell of an idea to confess that actually, I have an affair with Charles Leclerc. On the top of that, since Daniel’s invitation today, I felt like I’m cheating on him. Wait, is it cheating if we are not even dating?

“Look Clara, it’s OK if you are not ready to tell me. But don’t think I can be fooled with a dumb no, followed by a long, heavy silence.”   
_Fuck. He gets me._  
I sighed and buried my face in my palms.   
“Sorry, I’m a mess, really. I don’t even want to admit it to myself, so please, let’s leave this thing alone,” I said, and looked at him pleading. He looked back at me for a couple of moments, then slided a little closer on the couch and scooped me to his side with one arm.   
“Come here,” he said in an understanding tone. We were quiet for minutes. He was caressing my back, and I was thinking about my fucked up lovelife. 

“Let’s play darts,” he proposed after a while. “It’ll get your mind off things if you see how good I am.”   
I snorted, but agreed in playing. We got off the couch, and Max went on to find the darts. I checked my phone while he was away, but I didn’t have any new notifications.   
“But anytime, if you are ready to share that who is it with the texts and the mysterious disappearances at night, I’m here.” He said when he returned with a box.  
 _Fuck._

I looked at him and I felt all the blood getting drained from my face. I found no words, but he didn’t wait for any response, instead he started the game. He threw the darts and scored 95 points.   
“Your turn,” he said, looking at me with his blue eyes that were telling me much more than he actually did. 

Later that night, when I was already in the guest room of Max, getting ready for bed, Charles called me. I picked up with a lowered voice.   
“Hi.”  
“Clara, hi,” I felt his voice is too loud, so I checked my door to be closed. “Bad time?” He asked.  
“Well, I can’t really speak now,” I began. “I’m at Max’s house…”  
There was a short pause on the other end of the line. I squeezed my eyes shut, I knew he won’t take it well.   
“I see,” he said, his voice was much weaker than before. “I just wanted to ask how are you.”  
“I’m fine, thanks,” I said. “How are you?”   
He had this new habit, calling me. Basically he called every day since last weekend, and I couldn’t really see where was this leading.

“Great,” he answered, but I heard him sigh. “I miss you,” he added a second later. Somehow, I couldn’t get myself to say the same. And it made me feel shit.   
“It’s only a couple more days,” I said to cheer him up a bit. It seemed like it worked.   
“Yeah, I wanted to ask when do you plan to fly in?” he asked a little more enthusiastic.   
It made me think, because I didn’t know exactly. We are supposed to have a briefing next morning about the team flight schedule.  
“I think it’s Monday?” It was more of a question than a statement.  
“Fine,” he said curtly.   
“Why?”   
“Because then I’ll fly there on Monday as well,” he explained it if it was as plain as day.   
“Oh you don’t need to…” I began, but he cut me.  
“No, Clara I don’t need to. I don't need to until Wednesday evening according to Mia. But I want to,” he stated, and in the end it made me smile, finally.   
We were casually chatting about the upcoming weekend and his time in Monaco for a few minutes and I was looking at the door all the time. My heart was pounding in my chest as I was sure Max will come in any minute and discover my secret.   
But he didn't and we said goodbye agreeing we see each other on Monday evening the latest. 

On Sunday night I was packing at home. Previously, Vicki and I agreed to fly together earlier to Barcelona. She wasn't invited to Carlos' party, however she promised to accompany me on the way there, and we also settled plans for a girls night out. 

"It's going to be so exciting," she grabbed my wrist as we decked the plane.  
I flashed a nervous smile towards her but nodded anyway. I was excited about the party on Tuesday, but was a bit nervous about Daniel inviting me to it. I kind of wanted and didn’t want to go at the same time. 

Arriving in Barcelona was truly a refreshing experience. Being the end of May, the weather was excellent, hot and sunny. Vicki breathed in the smell of summer and turned to me with an enthusiastic grin.  
“Jesus, please say our first thing is to go to the la playa!” 

I couldn’t do else but smile and nod. So after checking in to our hotel, we catched a taxi and headed towards the long beach. Hence the good weather, the place was packed with tourists. We didn’t mind it anyway, at least there wasn’t any reporters around for once. We found a quiet place to lay down our towels, and I settled down for catching some tan.   
Vicki laid next to me, massaging a little more sun block into her skin.   
“So, Daniel invited you to the party,” she began, in a chirping voice. She was laying on her back, half of her face was covered with her sun hat. I sighed, sort of knew what was coming.  
“Yes,” I answered simply, but it wasn’t enough for her.   
“I didn’t know you are on such a good terms,” she said. “I mean I guess you find him OK, but didn’t think you would accept his... “ she continued then stopped. She lifted her hat and peeked at me with only one eye.   
“Wait, is this a date?” She asked and a shit eating grin appeared on her face. 

I frowned and gasped in disbelief. What? Of course it isn’t a date. Why would Daniel Ricciardo want to date me? No way, I’m sure it’s only an offer coming out of his pity after being a drunk dick last weekend at the party.   
Anyways. I shook my head before Vicki could think much more into the situation. 

“No, it is not,” I stated. She was still grinning at me, clearly not convinced by my answer.   
“You really should see your face sometimes,” she said and lowered her hat down again. “Your silence and startled expression said it all. It’s a date,” she said, and didn’t wait for any response.   
I gnawed on my bottom lip, and felt my stomach to form a tight knot. I started to think and soon realised my real problem was besides that I perhaps could be going on this weird party with Daniel Ricciardo, truly was the unanswered question about whether if Charles will be there or not to see it. 

I soon got the answer to my question. After we returned from the beach, Charles called me.  
Luckily I was in my room, just before showering and getting ready for our night out with Vicki. 

“Hello,” I greeted him, accepting the call.   
“Hi Clara,” his voice was happy.  
“Have you arrived? How was the flight?” I asked.   
“It was ok, nothing special, you know,” he said. After a deep breath, he added: “It was short. Or you know, I was only excited to see you.”  
I blushed and gulped so loud I could only hope he didn’t hear it.   
“Good,” I grunted. I could hear his relieved little laugh on the other end.   
“So, we meet today?” He asked hopefully and it made me bite my lips.  
“Well,” I started with a grimace, “I have plans with Vicki,” I admitted. It didn’t seem to break his enthusiasm.   
“Ok, we could do something all together then,” he said simply. 

I honestly, didn’t understand him or his ad hoc ideas. Does he really think these things through before saying or these are just random things to make a girl dizzy?

“Charles, you know we can’t,” I said. Now, it was time for him to sigh.   
“Fine. We will talk about this later,” his voice was far less happy than a minute ago. “So, see you after your program?”   
“I don’t know when will we finish but I’ll text you ok?” I gave in.   
“Sure,” he agreed, and soon we hang up. I had a slight sting of consciousness because of not spending time with him. But I never promised him I would meet him. Anyways, I felt like I wasn’t right and it made me feel guilty.

After I got ready I met Vicki. First, we went out to a local tapas bar to have dinner. It was in the centre, so we decided to walk there from our hotel.   
“I love this city so much! It’s a bit crazy, right?” Vicki asked while walking next to me on a little street next to La Rambla.   
“You know, I lived here for more than a month,” I said and smiled on the waves of the good memories that came to my mind from that time.  
“Really? It must have been incredible,” she smiled at me.   
“It was.” I said, and smirked. We arrived to the restaurant so we didn’t have more time to talk about my participation in the exchange program during the university. Thanks to that, I managed to make some friends from other countries and also develop an endless love for Barcelona. 

After a pleasant dinner and a bit of sangria, we decided to head in the direction of Port Olimpic, a strip of clubs on the beach. We visited several bars, and after a while we stuck to a dance floor to dance carefree while giggling on the others. We acted like teenagers but I couldn’t care less. We had fun and that was the only thing that mattered. After a good couple of hours spent with drinking and dancing we finally decided to head home. 

“Shit, I’m so tired,” said Vicki next to me in the taxi. I smiled at her, and accepted her leaning to my shoulder half asleep.   
“It’s fine, we are here to rest and let some steam off before the weekend,” I said, caressing her back. I looked out of the window and admired the lights of the city.   
“Yes, exactly. So you should,” she mumbled. “You should do it with Daniel.”  
First I thought I heard her wrong, but she giggled so viciously it made my eyes go wide as I scoffed with disbelief.   
“Vicki, you are drunker than I thought,” I said. She giggled some more with her eyes closed.   
“No, you don’t see it. But he’s head over heels around you,” she said. 

I could only blink listening to her words. I simply refused this matter, it was so absurd. We are talking about Daniel fucking Ricciardo, who is damn happy all the time, and kind to everyone, joking around. He was head over heels just living, right? How on earth would she know if he likes me?

Thank god, by this time we arrived back to our hotel.   
“Come on girl, we are here,” I tapped Vicki’s back gently to wake her up from her drowsiness. I paid for the taxi and soon, we parted ways in the elevator. We were in the same rooms for the week booked by the team, so we ended up on separate floors.   
“See you in the morning, chica,” I hugged her goodbye.  
“See you, Clara,” she waved and then she winked. “Consider my advice,” she said. “He’s a decent guy under the clown gown.”

I was still blushing when I opened my door. I sighed and sank down to the couch. I took my phone from my pocket. It was after 2 am, and seeing the time made me realise how sleepy I am as well. The flight, the sea, the beach, the long strolls, the drinking and dancing all made me feel smile but were tiring. I lowered my head down to the puffy pillow next to me, and sighed contently. 

I slept for a couple of minutes, tops, when my phone began to ring loudly next to me. I jumped, and my heart rate rose immediately to the sound. It was a reflex, sleeping in the hospital on calls meant if you’re woken up you jump and run. Lives were at stake. 

Not now though, since I saw the caller was Leclerc. It was 2:17 am. My heart was still pounding hard in my ears as I answered.   
“Charles? Is everything all right?” I asked.   
“Yes, sorry I know it’s late. But if you want to meet, I’m down here,” he said. I frowned, and walked to the window to look out. I could see the parking area of the hotel from my balcony, and I recognised a white Alfa Romeo near the entrance.   
“I have an idea, come on,” he continued.   
Since he woke me up, and scared the death out of me, I didn’t say no. I hang up and hurried down to the hotel’s entrance. 

At the exit, I saw Charles sitting in the Alfa, smiling at me. His eyes seemed tired, a little purple around, but still happy. I quickly hopped in next to him.   
“Did I wake you up?” He asked with a concerned look as he started the car. I couldn’t lie.   
“Well, I just fell asleep,” I said and yawned. He smiled, and casually put his right hand on my thigh. I felt his warmness, and it made me ease at once. 

“I want to show you something,” his voice was secretive, and made me think. I looked at the way we were driving, and it made me smirk after a couple of turns.   
“Are you taking me to Tibidabo?” I looked at him. He looked back to me in surprise.  
“How do you know?” He asked.   
“I used to come here with my friends. Well, at least we planned to come here several times, but never made it, only once.” I explained, and the memory made me grin. I decided I’ll text them when I get home.   
“I see. So it’s nice?” He asked, as he took the last corners. Soon, the beautiful panorama laid ahead.   
“It is marvelous,” I whispered as I got out of the car. 

I was in awe, just walked to the railing, and tried to take in the sight. The thousands of lights were in perfect order - all leading to crossings. Crossings meant _plazas_ , lines were the _carrers_ , all soaked in this gentle craziness of their beloved Gaudi. And now, in the middle of the night it was all mine, nobody was around. 

Charles stepped next to me and hugged my waist from behind.  
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I asked, but he was just looking at me.   
“It is,” he nodded.

We were standing like this for minutes, enjoying the view. I tried to show him the places I could make out and remembered the name of. Charles was listening patiently.

“And this area just below us is called _Sarria_ , it’s where our dorm was. It’s a rich district, full of amazing houses, where…”   
I couldn’t finish the sentence, because his lips suddenly captured mine. He pulled me closer to him in a tight hug, and his mouth didn’t leave mine for what felt like hours. I was leaning to the railing with my back to the city, both of his hands rested on my sides and his eyes were holding my gaze when we took apart. A stupid grin appeared on my face.

“You know, I was serious before,” he said. I frowned, as I wasn’t sure what he meant.   
“When I said we could go out together,” he said and I still didn’t get it. “With Vicki, seeing us. I mean publicly.” He explained further until it hit me. I glanced back at him, and tried to lean away, but he didn’t let me, holding me stronger to keep me in place.  
“What do you mean?” I asked in a high tone. “To go out as a couple?”  
He nodded surely.   
“As a couple,” he said and placed a peck on my parted lips. It seemed to wake me up. I shook my head.   
“You are insane, Charles. Pretty sure I’m twice your age. You are famous, rich, gorgeous and I don’t know. You are supposed to be in the French Riviera now getting drunk with your friends skinny dipping from a yacht...” I explained, but my still high tone made it more of a cry.  
“We can still do that together,” he smirked. “And it’s only ten years…” Him mentioning our age gap was the next thing sobering me up.   
“Do you hear yourself?” I asked, shaking my head desperately. “It would be simply selfish to tie you to me. And it would hurt both of us in the end.”

He wasn’t smirking anymore, in fact his green eyes were fixing mine sadly. He was still holding me, making little circles on my skin with his thumb.   
“Don’t you enjoy? Being with me?” He asked quietly.   
“Of course I do,” I stated the obvious. In fact I enjoyed being with him very much, but couldn’t overcome the feeling of all this being a terribly wrong mess.  
“Then don’t worry so much about the rest,” he whispered in my ear, giving a small kiss beneath my earlobe. It made me shiver, which he must have felt because he pulled me closer to his chest.   
“I agree to being like this for now,” he mumbled in my hair. “But I will convince you about the rest.”  
His body felt so warm and his arms hold me so strong, it made me comfortable. I began to feel sleepy again, and didn’t find the strength to fight back anymore. 

We were quiet on the way back. In front of the hotel, we said our goodbyes. None of us felt that spending the night together was a good idea at the moment.   
“Sorry, but we can’t meet tomorrow. There’s this party…” he began to explain but I knew the rest. It was better to cut is short.   
“I know. I’m going,” I said. He looked at me in disbelief.   
“Where? To Carlos’?”  
I nodded. I was determined not to reveal anything about Daniel, I believed it would lead to catastrophic consequences at that point.  
“Max invited me,” I added curtly.   
He watched me for several seconds silently. I saw he had his own opinion just on the tip of his tongue but he too, didn’t want to make things worse. 

After a long, desperate kiss we parted and I headed back to my room as fast as I could. I was dead tired, and I had a strong feeling about the next day won’t be less tiring than today was.


	14. Easier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter originally got to be so long I needed to split it in half. So, the other part is ready, and I can't wait to share it with you soon. Until then, I hope you like it :)

Of course I couldn’t get up in the morning. I overslept two of my alarm clocks, and it was Vicki calling me at 10 what woke me up in the end.   
“I’m here,” I said in a harsh voice answering her call.  
“God Clara, I’m waiting for you for 30 minutes now. I had so much patatas bravas for breakfast I’m not eating again until the family dinner on Saturday.”  
I giggled on her vow, because I was sure she will break it at very moment I show her my favourite churros place.   
“Then wait a bit more please, I’ll be there in a minute,” I promised. 

I buried my face in my palms, softly massaging my eyes to freshen up a bit. The memories from last night flashed back, with Charles’s words echoing in my head. I still couldn’t believe what he said last night about us, and that he would go out together. So far, I was convinced we were just a casual thing, but that wouldn’t include going public for sure. At least for me. Some celebrities don’t care about being seen with casual flings, but Charles wasn’t like this as far as I knew. He had several girlfriends before, but all relationships seemed serious. I know, I checked all of them online, hence we never discussed his love life. I don’t even know if he sees anybody beside me. _Fuck, I don’t know anything about him. We do all the things but talking..._

I sighed, and got out of the bed to get ready. I hurried down to the restaurant but I was so late I missed breakfast. Luckily, Vicki saved me a huge mug of coffee. It was plain black, just as I liked.   
“Thank you,” I said, grabbing the cup and sipping.   
“So, did you drink this much last night?” She smirked at me, clearly thinking I was the drunk and not her yesterday. And I couldn’t admit that while she was already passed out in her bed I was out sightseeing and arguing with Charles Leclerc until dawn.  
“Well, I guess,” I shrugged. 

We agreed on doing a bit of sightseeing before I start to get ready for Carlos’ party. Vicki informed me about Max arriving safely. I smiled on the thought - if all fails, he will be there to save me. That made me a little more secure, thinking about today’s evening. I still wasn’t sure how would it turn out, but I honestly hoped it’d be fun. 

We just climbed up to Parc Güell, when my phone rang. It was incredibly hot, we were sweating and I panted as I stopped to take my phone out of my pocket and answered. It was Daniel.  
“Hey Clara,” he said in an all too happy voice.   
“Hi,” I said, short of breath. “Sorry, but I’m mountain climbing at the moment,” I panted. Vicki stopped next to me, and gulped half the content of her water bottle.  
“Great,” he said, not really caring about me suffocating, clearly didn’t call for checking up on my vitals. “So, today,” he started hesitantly, his voice not so confident anymore. “You’re still coming, right?” He asked.   
I nodded, then I realised, he can’t see me.   
“Yes, of course,” I said. “What time it is? When?”   
Fuck, I don’t know anything about this, and my stomach made a loop again.   
He giggled shortly on the other side of the line.   
“See, that’s why I called you. It starts at 8 and it’s about an hour away. So I could pick you up around 7? If that suits you,” he explained.   
My stomach made the next loop on the thought of me arriving with Daniel, when Charles could see us.   
_Shit Clara, you are going deep here._  
“Yes, it works for me,” I answered anyway after a brief sigh. There was a short silence which felt a bit awkward.   
“Great, then text me your address and I’ll be there,” he promised.  
“Thank you.”  
“See you, Clara from England,” he said, gently laughing. I laughed too, because calling me that brought back the memory of our first meeting.  
“Bye,” I said, still smiling and hung up. 

“Was it Dan?” Vicki asked. She was sitting in a tiny bit of shade, made by the only tree in the street.   
“Yes,” I admitted.  
“I could have guessed,” she said with her all-knowing look which I already knew from yesterday.   
“He picks me up at 7,” I said, not really knowing what to do with that information.   
“Yes, that’s what guys usually do,” she laughed, then stood up from the rock she was sitting on. “Come on, I want to see some more Gaudi before your date starts,” she murmured, only to herself.   
“I could hear you, and it’s not funny,” I said and went after her. 

On our way back to the hotel, we finally had some good churros, which Vicki adored.   
“Oh my god, it’s fantastic,” she said.   
“I know, right? Too bad, we have to run twice as much tomorrow,” I said, looking at her meaningly. We were determined to continue our tradition of the little running club on race weekends, and hoped the ferrari girls and Aurelie could join us as well. 

A little after six I managed to narrow down my choice of clothing to two options. It was jeans with a flower printed blouse or a white, short summer dress. I glanced at Vicki, who was sitting on the couch, fiddling with her phone.   
“I’d stick with the dress,” she said, no hesitation in her voice. I nodded in agreement. 

“And that pink lipstick of yours - the one you used last night - would match with that perfectly,” she mentioned and it made me roll my eyes. However, I put it on. If I’m going to a party with all the f1 drivers, at least I wanted to look good.

I was satisfied with the end result, and gladly realised I was still on time.   
“Wow, Clara,” Vicki was amazed, seeing me. “I guess I’m used to your Red Bull t-shirts now,” she said. “But you look particularly sexy like this.”  
I blushed on her comment.   
“Thanks,” I giggled.   
We said goodbye, and after Dan called me I went to the hotel lobby to meet him. 

He was near the entrance and - to my surprise - was speaking with Max. I was happy seeing him, least that’d took the edge of things a bit. As I walked closer, Dan noticed me, and visibly forgot to answer Max’s question, because the Dutch was talking to him then turned around. Both of them had their eyes on me and grinned like fools.   
_Shit, I should’ve gone with the jeans. And probably a used Red Bull t-shirt._

“Hi,” I said and hoped I’m not blushing before reaching them. That would be awkward.   
Daniel nodded.   
“Wow, girl,” whistled Max, “I didn’t know you’re this hot.”  
I could laugh on his comment, and gently kicked him with my elbow on his side.   
“Shut up,” I said.  
“Ok, I’m out of here in a moment,” he said on a fake huffish voice. “I’m just waiting for Vic.”  
“Oh, she’s coming as well?” Dan asked in a surprised tone.  
“Yeah, if ever she gets ready,” Max said and sighed. He told me previously that maybe he’s inviting his sister, who is also coming to the Grand Prix. They were very close, and personally I couldn’t wait to meet her. Max was sure we could get on well.   
“Anyways, you just go ahead,” he said and an evil grin appeared in the corner of his mouth. “I’ll overtake you anyways, Ricciardo.”  
I laughed out loud on that comment, but it was now time for Daniel's cheeks to turn pink.  
“Bye, Max,” he said simply, and gestured towards the door. I smiled at him encouragingly.

He was driving a blue Infiniti SUV, similar to Max’s. It was huge and comfortable, spacious in the inside. I settled in the passenger seat cosily.   
“So, what do you want to listen to?” He asked, when he started the engine.   
“Whatever,” I shrugged. “I’m mainly good with anything but jazz.”   
“You’re lucky I’m not the jazz type,” he smiled. Then he forgot his eyes on me for long seconds.   
“Hey, you should check where you head,” I warned him. He scoffed, and overtook the car ahead of us.   
“You’re lucky I’m the racing driver type,” he smirked, eyes now on the road. I nodded, and watched the landscape changing for a few minutes. The next song came on, and actually I recognised it.   
“Is it Hilltop Hoods?” I asked and he looked at me so surprised his mouth fell open a little.   
“Do you know them?” He asked.   
“I do,” I couldn’t hold back my laugh seeing his expression.   
“Wow, Clara,” he said. “You are incredible.” I frowned, he acted like I was kind of a freak.   
“Why?”  
“Nothing, it’s just… Never mind.” He shook his head. I didn’t want to get it more weird, so I left the subject. I was looking out of the window, and he was humming to the song which made me smirk again.  
“You know, I know them, “ he said after a while. “The guys from the ‘Hoods.”  
I nodded. They were all Australian.   
“I should have guessed,” I smiled.   
“Last summer Matt and I went on to karting in Adelaide, it was fun,” he explained.   
“Oh, it must have been fun,” I nodded. Mentioning Australia got me thinking about his origins.   
“Do you plan to move back?” I asked him. He was thinking for a couple of seconds, then sighed.   
“Yep, I guess,” he began. “That’ll be always my home. I love Monaco, but all my friends are back in ‘Straya. And My family,” he explained, and I nodded understandingly.   
“So, you’ll become an old farmer on a distant farm?” I asked him giggling. He laughed out too.   
“Yes, actually I’d be fine with that. You know, to have a calm life, being settled down, a family for my own, kids running around…” He explained, and looked at me with a shy smile.   
I nodded, because I could totally picture this guy playing in a big house with his kids. Although, settling down would mean the end of his career.   
“So, what about the racing?” I asked curiously. I could see him biting his lip.   
“Well, of course that’s my life now,” he started after clearly thinking it through. “And I love it. But if I find someone I can imagine my life with, I’d be happy to start a new chapter,” he said, his eyes still fixed on the road. I watched his face, looked for any clues, but failed to find any. I had to ask.   
“Is Daniel Ricciardo talking about retiring?” I asked with disbelief. He looked at me, with a half smile.   
“I... can’t comment on that,” he said in the end, and the politically correct answer got us both laughing.   
“And what about you?” he asked, and stole a glance before turning back to the road.   
“What about me?” I asked back.   
“What are your plans for the future?”  
I bit the inside of my cheeks. Well, it was not like I’m clearly planning anything, considering my current situation. I sighed.   
“Well, of course I want a family. And I want to remain working as a doctor,” I said, and he nodded curtly.   
“It’s not like something you can stop doing, right?” he asked. I shook my head.   
“I can’t imagine doing anything else,” I smiled. If anything, I was damn sure of that.   
That got us both thinking for a few minutes. 

Soon, we arrived to the Sainz Villa. It admired the beautiful building, which already had some cars parking in the front. Nice lights were hanging everywhere as decorations, and loud music were coming from the back terrace.   
Daniel parked, right next to a casually talking Kimi Raikönnen and Sebastian Vettel.   
_Oh God, we start rough right?_  
I swallowed, and got out of the car after Daniel hurried to open the door for me.  
“Hey, Dan,” Sebastian greeted him smiling. I didn’t hear if Kimi said anything yet. Instead, the German turned to me.   
“Clara, right?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. It really surprised me he remembered my name, but I nodded smiling.   
“Yes,” I said. “Hi,” I added, also turning to Raikönnen. He checked me out, and offered his hand.   
“It’s always good to have nice girls around here,” he shook my hand, and I felt I was blushing.   
“So, we should go inside, right?” Daniel asked, and gently put his hand on the small of my back. I sighed as I felt the warmth of his hand through the thin fabric. God, I hope he only touched me by accident, and it never happens again, otherwise I’d spend this whole night with a red face, sweating. 

We left the two friends in the parking lot and walked into the house. Carlos opened the door, and a big smile appeared on his face as he saw us.   
“Dan,” he hugged the Australian. “Come in, have a beer,” he pulled us inside and during that - as a matter of factly he introduced himself.   
“I’m Carlos,” he said. “I’m happy that you came. Please, enjoy yourself,” he nodded, and handed us two beers.   
Then he left to hurry out to greet other guests. I looked at he beer in my hand, and then I looked at Daniel, disappointedly.   
“What?” He asked, frowning.   
“I hate beer,” I admitted, pouting. He shoot me a fake disappointed look, then grabbed my hand and pulled me with him.   
I tried to protest, because I had no idea were we are going, but he didn’t stop. 

We should have been arrived rather early, because the kitchen was empty. A lot of food, and drinks were waiting on the counter to be served.   
Daniel went to the double door fridge and casually opened it. I grinned on his randomness, he acted like he was living here for years. He even hummed the music coming from the garden.   
“Geez, these guys are well prepared,” he stepped aside to show the inside of the fridge.   
He was right - it was full of drinks, beers, wines as well as several bottle of spirits.   
“What do you want, my lady?” He curtsied, gesturing to the drinks. He managed to make me laugh again.   
“Wine, please,” I asked, and sat down to one of the chairs at the kitchen isle.

He poured two glasses of rosé, and handed me the drink when Lando Norris entered the kitchen from the back door.   
He was wearing a cooking apron with a “kiss the cook” writing on the front, and had strong smell like smoke.   
“Hi,” he said, smiling at me. “I’m Lando.”  
“Hello, I’m Clara,” I nodded. He turned to Daniel, and hugged him.   
“Hi, mate,” Daniel greeted him. “What are you up to?”   
“Well, I’m making dinner,” he straightened proudly. Daniel and I bursted out laughing. Somehow, it wasn’t believable at all.   
“Do you need help?” I asked. He shook his head protesting.   
“No, thank you. I’m good, and you’ll see it’s amazing,” he promised. “You just have fun,” he waved, and next second he was out of the kitchen with a foiled tray in his hand. 

I looked a Daniel frowning, but he raised his hand.   
“Don’t ask,” he said, laughing.   
“OK,“ I nodded, and sipped a bit of my wine to prepare myself for what you cannot prepare for.   
We decided to walk around, and ended up at the back terrace, were it seemed like the center of the party would be.   
Lando was enthusiastically flipping burger patties, and a long table were already neatly settled for dinner.   
There was a DJ set as well, and some dance music was played from a mobile phone connected to it.   
A blonde girl was putting out glasses quietly. After she finished, she came to us, and greeted Daniel, and introduced herself. She was Isa, the girlfriend of Carlos. 

In a few minutes, another big group of guests arrived, including Max and his sister Victoria.  
I waved to Max and they came closer. Victoria was smiling at us for afar. She was wearing a colorful long skirt and a denim jacket. Her hair was the same color as Max’s.   
“Hey, guys,” she nodded. “Dan,” she hugged the Australian tight, then turned to me.”Clara, it’s so good to finally meet you,” she said, and hugged me too. “Thanks for what you did for my brother,” she whispered in my ear.   
“I was happy I could help,” I smiled.   
“Oh, I’m not talking about medical stuff, I mean being his friend,” she waved me down. “It’s a huge help he doesn’t whine to me all the time on the phone,” she laughed.  
“Victoria!” Max snapped which made us all laughing. 

“Well, it looks like the class of 2018 just arrived,” said Victoria with a scoff. I turned to the direction where she was looking, and saw that a new bunch of guests arrived. I understood at once what was she referring to.   
Pierre Gasly, his girlfriend Kate, Alex Albon, George Russell and Charles Leclerc just walked in. I tried to ignore my stomach sinking to the floor by the sight of the Monégasque and sipped some more wine.  
“Let’s go and say hi,” said Daniel enthusiastically.   
_Oh no, let’s not. Let’s so not, Daniel._

Anyways, we walked there. Carlos, as the perfect host was already there, and with the help of Isa, they poured some liquor to everybody.   
“Here you are, Clara,” he smiled at me when he handed me a drink. “Oh, do you know these guys?” He asked, frowning.   
“Well,” I started. Of course I knew them. But they didn’t know me - well at least apart from the one I spent most of the previous night together with. I sighed, but Carlos seemed to understand my confusion, and gestured towards me.   
“Hey guys, this is Clara.”   
I blushed, and nodded towards the young drivers. They all smiled politely and and greeted me.   
“She is the new doctor at Red Bull,” Carlos kindly continued. “She is with Daniel,” he added in the end. 

My eyes almost fell out of their sockets from the surprise. What? God, why would he say such a thing? Fuck. No. Fuck. Why? I felt like my face was on fire. 

“No, she isn’t.” A little to my right, Charles snapped, incredibly fast.   
The previous polite smile was nowhere to be seen on his face now. Instead, his nose flared and he narrowed his eyes.   
Seeing him like that got me sober up in an instant. So I gulped and I forced a smile on my face.   
“Well, Daniel was just kind enough, and invited me,” I grinned, turning to Daniel who was standing next to me. He nodded with some proudness on his face.

“So, are we guys here for drinking, or what?” Victoria asked, and raised her glass. It made Carlos come out of his probable shock after the awkward comment. He turned to me and Dan, and whispered an inaudible “sorry”. I smiled at him, and shook my head. It wasn’t his fault, he simply misunderstood the situation. 

“Well, I’d like to dearly welcome everyone here, I hope you’ll have a good time. And next, we will have an even better time on the weekend. Aplausos!” He said and raised his glass. All the others followed, and I also drank the golden liquor. It was horrible, strong, felt like my trachea suffered third degree burns. I could see the others feeling the same.   
Pierre was coughing, and Victoria made a disgusted face   
“What on earth was this?” She asked. Carlos laughed.  
“This, my dear Victoria was a chupito, made from Orujo, truly Spanish and as strong as fifty percent,” he proudly explained. Victoria rolled her eyes.  
“I need my gin and tonic,” she insisted, and left to go into the kitchen.

“Guys, if you are finished, the burgers are ready,” Lando shouted to the crowd from behind the grill. Overall applause followed, and people began to take their seats at the big table.  
I sat down between Max and Daniel, on the other side of the table were Pierre and his girlfriend. Lando insisted on bringing burgers to everyone. He was super enthusiastic, hurrying back and forth, serving everyone. He even brought another beer for Kimi. 

We were chatting casually during eating. It was nice to meet the rest of the drivers, I was still surprised to see they are the same, human beings like me. Daniel was joking around with everyone, once making Kate laugh so hard she nearly pissed herself. Pierre made all the devilish comments. And Victoria and Max was the best and worst pair of siblings I ever met.   
“Oh fuck, why did Sainz have to invite this fuckhead?” Max cried out angrily when Esteban Ocon arrived with Lewis Hamilton.   
“Hey Max,” Pierre leaned closer to him across the table, grinning. “Which one do you mean exactly?” This managed to get us all laugh, including Max.   
“Either one Pierre,” Victoria answered. “He hates everyone equally.”  
Max nodded and grinned evilly. 

“Lando, it was fantastic,” Carlos stood up after the majority finished. “Thank you, my friend.”  
He clapped, and we joined. The food was really good, and if it was all Lando’s work then he totally deserved the appreciation. The English smiled shyly at the other end of the table.   
“Well done, kid. Now, let’s drink,” shouted a semi drunk Kimi Raikönnen, and handed him a beer. Lando took it with a red face, and sipped a bit. Kimi patted his shoulder like a proud father. Next to them, Sebastian and Nico grinned at each other tellingly. 

“Oh god, is it his first time drinking or what?” Victoria leaned in to see him better.   
Max shrugged and looked at Daniel, but he was clueless as well.   
“I have no idea man, you stream with him all the time,” he said to the Dutch.   
“Yeah, but we never really talk about personal stuff,” Max said, and clearly was thinking. “In fact, we don’t talk much personal stuff,” He looked around the table.   
Daniel raised his eyebrows surprised.   
“What, you mean we don’t talk much?” he asked Max, clearly referring to himself. The other one grinned in his beer.   
“Fuck no, Daniel, you are always whining to me about your love life,” he said with a shit eating grin. 

I looked at him, and couldn’t stop myself thinking. Is he? About whom? It must be that fan girl. Or that blonde reporter? Wait. Maybe he has a thing for blondes? 

Daniel scoffed, and his face turned red in a second.  
“Shut it,” he mumbled, and buried his face in his palms.   
“No, I meant the others, I barely know what these guys are doing outside of track,” Max said.   
“Yes, maybe we should hang out more,” Pierre told him. “Next time, we can go to hunting together in Canada,” he proposed with an evil grin.   
“Good choice darling, let’s hope nobody shots his rivals,” Kate said, and it made everyone laughing hard.


	15. Harder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, as promised here is the next chapter. After seeing all your likes and comments I couldn't hold it in any longer 😊 Thank you for your responses, it made me super motivated! 😚   
> I hope you enjoy this one as well.

After the dinner the atmosphere eased up at the party. Carlos started to play some dance music, and Pierre and Kate immediately hit the dance floor.   
They were an incredibly cute couple, who were sticking together all the time but wasn’t annoying. They were soon joined by Nico and his girlfriend. I watched them with a smile on my face. Both of the couples seemed to be in good terms, they kissed and laughed during dancing. 

Soon, a light, but uneasy feeling appeared in my guts. It would be so nice to dance with somebody - I thought and bit the inside of my cheek to banish the bitterness. 

I sat at the table alone, the boys just went inside to bring out some more beers.   
The next minute, Victoria sat down next to me with a deep sigh.   
“Aw, they are so cute together, right?” she asked. I looked at her, blinking.  
“You mean Pierre and Kate?” I asked, meaning the couple jumping around happily.   
“No, I meant Norris and Sainz,” she snorted. “Of course, look at the french lovebirds. Makes me want to puke, but crave for a such a relationship at the same time,” she sighed. 

I nodded, I kind of felt the same. Anyway, I didn’t feel like going deep in this subject with her. Instead, I directed my gaze sneakily to look for Charles. He was talking with Albon and Russell at the other end of the table. My eyes met his instantly. He blinked at my direction, holding my stare, but I couldn’t read any emotions in them. Then he looked away to George and laughed about his joke. 

“In fact, I might take one of those kids to the dance floor to keep myself entertained,” she stood up, and looked at me. “I’ll hit on Leclerc,” she smirked, and bit her lips. “What do you think?”  
I stared at her. She was watching me curiously. I fought hard not to show anything from the mix of these bothering emotions rising inside my chest. 

_Shit, why does she have to pick on him? Why, Victoria? She seemed nice until this minute, but if she dares to go there and kiss him, I might slap her on that spot. Or him. I still have some time to decide.  
On the other hand, she is beautiful, young and strong. And she might be perfect for him…   
God, I might just sit here and watch all of this happen._

I sighed and forced a weak smile on my face.   
“Sure, he’s nice, I guess,” I mumbled.   
Victoria let out a small, unimpressed giggle. 

“Right,” she said, and left me to walk over to the guys with a drink in her hand. They welcomed her as she sat next to Charles. After talking casually for a couple of minutes he stood up and led her to the dance floor. 

I shook my head in disappointment but still, I couldn't look away. They went to the center of the grassy field functioning as the dance floor. Victoria grabbed his hands and put them on her hip, which he appreciated with a wide, charming smile. She wrapped her hands around his neck and smiled back at him. They started to swing to the basic rhythm of the music, tangled in each other. Victoria smiled at him and whispered something in his ear, because of which he blushed.   
Fuck. I was so confused about all of this mess with him, bit this time it was crystal clear.   
I was jealous as hell.   
I couldn't bear to see that anymore, so I stood up with a sigh and walked determined inside the house. 

I found the rest of the people in the living room. It seemed like the older guys gathered there (well, not counting Lando), which didn’t mean they behaved like the more responsible ones. 

It looked like they played something on the playstation, called Mario Kart. Specifically, Lando and Kimi sit in front of a monitor and raced against each other, the others were watching it.   
If I felt a little more than tipsy, they were undoubtedly drunk.   
Lando was giggling uncontrollably while pushing the buttons hard, while Kimi was playing with a straight face, while holding half a glass of beer between his teeth. He was concentrating hard, his eyes fixed on the screen. 

“Oh nooooo,” Lando whined in a squeaky voice as it appeared he lost. The little blue cart he was driving before got smashed by a rocket.   
Kimi only blinked once, and got hold of his beer, only to finish it.   
“Now, drink,” he then turned to the young McLaren driver, who buried his face in his palms and made some strange, high pitched noise. 

“It was lame, but don't worry you are still better at this than in Formula 1,” a little evil smirk appeared on the side of his mouth.   
Lando was still grinning, but one could see in his eyes that he didn’t take well Raikönnen’s comment. He let out a long sigh and took the shot of vodka from Sebastian. After examining it suspiciously for a couple of seconds, he drank it at once. His face could tell volumes about his suffering. 

“Oh my, they grow up so fast,” Daniel said on a dramatic voice while he watched Lando give a desperate look to them. Max could only laugh hard next to him.   
I shook my head disapprovingly and then walked over to the two Red Bull drivers. 

"Hi," I smiled at them and they returned the gesture.  
"Clara," Daniel greeted me with a wide smile. His eyes were bright and curiously examining my features. He shifted beside me, looking like he wants to say something. I frowned.  
  
"What? " I asked. He let out a low breath but said nothing. I looked at Max to help but he wasn’t paying any attention, only fiddling with his phone. 

Out of nowhere, an evil idea popped to my mind, so I bit my lips and decided to give it a go. 

"Daniel," I asked, and looked deeply in his eyes. He raised his eyebrows in anticipation. His gaze was curious, as still looking for answers. I smirked. 

"Would you like to dance?" I asked. I don't know where that courage came from, but I asked this with so much easiness in my voice as if it wasn't a big deal. At all.  
I saw Daniel blink twice then he visibly gulped. 

"Sure," he nodded hesitantly. It was all I have been waiting for, so before I’d lose my newly found courage I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him out of the house.   
There was even more people from before, dancing and sitting at the backyard.   
We stopped on the side on the dancefloor. There was a moderately slow track on again, maybe that’s why Daniel looked at me questioningly. 

I smiled at him and nodded curtly, so he slipped his hand on the small of my back again. I got goosebumps the second his warm fingers touched the thin material of my dress.   
I swallowed and turned to face him. I put both of my hands on his shoulders and smiled at him. 

"Is this okay?" I asked, laughing a bit embarrassed.   
He smiled back, and slowly slid his hands up on my side, pulling me closer. Maybe I imagined but I felt his shallow breath on my temple and even his touch felt a bit shaky.   
"Sure thing," he mumbled as we began to dance.   
Then he turned me, and as I moved giggling, my eyes met a well known green gaze. 

Charles noticed us, and I could tell he wasn’t a bit happy. He was still dancing with Victoria, but was sending us death stares every other second.  
I tried not to pay attention to him, so I smiled bright at Daniel. The Australian’s eyes were fixed on me, with a gentle expression in them.   
"Hey," he said. His slightly anxious grin made me giggle. Finally, it looked like even Danny Ric can get nervous and that somehow gave me more bravery. 

"Hi," I answered, and snuggled a bit closer to him. I was sure I felt his arm muscles tighten a bit more around me, which managed to make me forget to watch Charles and Victoria’s every move.

Carlos took over the DJ set and chased away Pierre who put on the romantic music. 

The next song was a fast, electric one which I actually loved. Max showed it to me the last time we were hanging out together. He told me the McLaren boys loved the artist, Fisher and they played him at every opportunity, so as this one. I saw Lando and Carlos high fived as the song started and began to jump up and down behind the DJ set.  
I've came to love this track so much, an actual shriek escaped my throat as it started.   
I jumped happily next to Daniel, who just watched me smiling wide. I laughed at him, then closed my eyes, as I tried to enjoy the good music. 

We danced for a couple of songs like this, then I excused myself and told Daniel I need to go to the bathroom.

I just finished, freshening up a little when there was a loud knock on the door.   
“Just a sec!” I shouted out as I washed my hands, but the door opened anyway. My head snapped and I realised Charles stepped in and closed the door quickly behind him.   
He looked at me in the mirror the with the same devastated expression as he watched me dancing with Daniel.  
  
I sighed. I should have known I wasn’t getting away easily with this little stunt.   
“What?” I asked, and rolled my eyes. He didn’t say anything, only stepped closer. 

“What do you think I feel when I see you being with him?” He asked and it made me frown at his words.   
His eyes might have been sad and disappointed but him ignoring the fact that I wasn’t the first one to start this mess made me angry. I crossed my arms on my chest and turned to face him.

“I don’t know, what, Charles? I didn’t do anything you haven't done yourself…” I answered with a scoff. “Everyone saw you with Victoria,” I added bitterly. He shrugged.   
“So what? We know each other for years, Clara. Don’t you think I could have done anything with her long time ago if I wanted to?” He asked, getting angrier by each word. I scoffed again.   
“And how would I know that you haven’t…” I said and laughed bitterly.  
“Why do you think it’s funny?” He asked, and he stepped in front of me, his face was now an inch from mine.   
“You are being childish, Charles. Grow up,” I said rolling my eyes, and stepped away. At least I tried to, because he grabbed my arm and stopped me. 

“Clara, I can’t bear anybody else touching you,” he breathed, and locked his eyes with mine. 

His voice was now more determined, which surprised me a bit, and made me speechless as I looked in his green eyes, and got lost the same way as so many times before.   
I sighed as his lips reached mine. His kiss was now purely demanding and clearly hungry for more. He even bit my lower lip as I didn’t let his tongue enter immediately. His hand slipped from my forearm to my back, and from there lower, only to grab my butt. He squeezed it and he let out a satisfied, deep groan.   
And I used this one second hiatus to lean away from him. 

I liked this shift in his behaviour - changing from the previous, nice and polite guy to being this serious man, who simply takes what he wants - but at the same time I was aware we were currently in a bathroom with nearly all of his fellow drivers being just meters away. 

“Charles, not here,” I asked him quietly, but he acted like he didn’t hear what I said, and began to plant kisses all along my neck.   
“Charles…” I tried - pathetically weak - to warn him again about the vulnerability of our situation. 

However, as he reached my collarbone and licked it, I sighed and forgot where we were for good. I leaned back to the washbasin, defeated. Charles breathed out, as he reached with both hands under my behind and he gently picked me up, so I could sit on the edge. He stepped between my thighs, and kissed me hard again. I felt his solid bulge pressed to me, and it made my inside burn up in flames.   
I impatiently reached for his fly with both hands to open it. I slipped one of my hand into his boxer, and squeezed his shaft.   
He only groaned and reached to fold up my dress. I impatiently squeezed him again, as he touched me through my panties, and smirked at me as he felt my wetness through the light lace. 

However, the next second the smug smirk disappeared from his face because the bathroom door flew open, and a very, very drunk Lando staggered in. 

“Wow, sorry,” he mumbled. “I am so very sorry guys... but I’m only feeling a bit dizzy,” he said not even looking at us as he headed straight to the toilet to threw up. 

“Jesus,” I said, rolling my eyes. Suddenly I felt like I’m in some lame high school party.   
“Fuck,” Charles groaned quite angrily.   
“Shit,” Lando said as he finished, flushed the toilet and leaned back to lay on the floor. 

We looked at each other with Charles. He was still holding me with one hand, but as I grimaced he released me. I organised my dress, hopped down from the washbasin and hurried to the drunk guy.   
“Hey, uhm Lando,” I squatted next to him. “Roll on your side please, and don’t fall asleep, however sleepy you might feel. I’ll bring you a glass of water,” I told him and left to go to the kitchen to search for a glass. 

As I returned, I saw Charles was sitting next to Lando, and patted his back while he threw up again. After he finished, I handed him the water. I knew however little will stay in his system, it will help him feeling a lot better.  
  
The next twenty minutes passed with Lando vomiting and me giving him as much water as he managed to hold down. His state was improving, he was sleepy but his stomach seemed to calm down. He was still extremely drunk of course. I didn’t want to be in his place the next day.   
Actually, Charles acted really sweet, we didn't talk much but he listened to me all the time, as if waiting for instructions how to help his fellow driver.

After Lando was more or less done, I went out to find Carlos. Lando needed to sleep somewhere.   
I found the Spaniard next to the swimming pool with Kimi and Sebastian, watching the rest of the guys dipping in the water. At the very moment, George showed his skill of a backward somerset jump. I held in my breath until I saw his head popping out of the water, screaming in happiness. 

“Carlos,” I addressed Sainz. He turned to me.   
“Hey Clara,” he smiled at me.   
“Hello, listen,” I came to the point. “Lando is sick,” I explained, giving a side eye to Raikönnen. He looked at me with no guilt.   
The very moment I even thought this was maybe not his fault, he said “Well, I guess the kid didn’t take well our vodka shot competition,” and grinned. 

“Man, tell me you didn’t make him drink as much as you did,” Vettel looked at him with wide eyes. The grin of the Finnish proved that he was wrong.   
“It was only like four shots,” he defended himself, but then after a long belch his face turned less determined.   
“Or five. However it was time he left milk for something stronger,” he added smirking. Vettel cursed long in German.

“God, I think Lando didn’t even drink alcohol before,” Carlos looked at me frightened. “Did he really have to start it with this man?”   
I scoffed, and looked at the Finnish accusingly for a last time.   
“Anyways, he is better now,” I nodded. “And in the bathroom downstairs. Charles is taking care of him,” I added. 

Carlos nodded and hurried away to help his teammate. I decided I need another drink before I go to check on Lando again. 

In the kitchen I found a lonely Victoria sitting on the kitchen counter, smoking a joint.   
“Hi,” she greeted me. I suppressed the uneasy feeling tightening my chest, and let out a weak smile.   
“Hi,” I mumbled, and opened the fridge to find something to my taste.   
“Here, take this” Victoria said, and raised a bottle of chardonnay in her hand. I looked at her, and saw an apologetic look appear on her face.   
“Come on Clara, drink with me,” she said, and took another glass to pour.   
“And while doing so,” she continued, giving me a side eye, “You can enlighten me about how serious is exactly your affair with Charles Leclerc.”

I stopped on my way to her. My heart jumped a beat, then started to race at an unhealthy speed in my chest.   
“About what?” I tried to sound offended, but seeing her face I knew she can’t be fooled this easily. It seemed like I couldn’t scam a Verstappen. 

“I’m an expert at this, sweetheart,” she nodded. “Plus I know these guys for years. Saw them with dozens of said girlfriends and other... acquaintances,” she raised her hand to quote the word. “But I never saw Charles looking at someone like he looked at you during your little act with Daniel,” she explained casually. “Only a bunch of male racing driver could not see that he was out of his mind, baby.”

I felt exposed, and my face was burning up. I went to the counter, and Victoria handed me my glass of wine.

“And by the way, I asked him to dance with me to find out how you act. Classic move,” she winked at me. “So just to clear things - couldn’t care less about Leclerc,” she added with a bored voice. "He's not my type."

I didn’t know what to answer, so we were quite for a while. I was thinking, and she was smoking next to me. 

“Listen,” she started. “And now, I’m speaking from experience,” she laughed bitterly a little. “If you decide to be with a world famous person, you want to either do it all in, or take it just as a one night stand to have the next notch on your belt,” she said. “If you stuck in the middle, you will be the one to get hurt and made riddiculous.”

I sighed, because however drunk or high she was, what she said made some sense.

“I don’t know how this happened,” I mumbled resignedly, which made Victoria laugh. 

“How?” she snorted. “I tell you how. It’s as plain as a hollywood movie plot. He is the rich, good looking but damaged guy, who is looking for a girl to be on his side and care enough to understand him. But he has been searching in the wrong place. He only had these model girlfriends before, but they were dumb as fuck. I doubt he could talk with them for more than a minute, not enough to understand his troubles. For him there came you, once on a race weekend - a beautiful and clever doctor, really not an everyday sight in the paddock so he had to take a chance on. And today he realised he is not the only one who recognised you. God, he could never lose." She rolled her eyes then gestured towards me. “That is the how. Well, at least for now," she snorted.

I crossed my arms over my chest, and bit my lower lip, feeling troubled.  
“I don’t think we are good for each other,” I said quietly but Victoria only shrugged.   
“That’s for you to decide,” she said, thinking. “You just shouldn’t hurt more people on the way, figuring this out.”   
I blinked, because I wasn’t sure what she meant.   
Although, I had a guess, but she simply could not be that well informed, right? 

“Anyway,” she put out the joint and hopped down from the counter. “We can go and dance this out,” she said. 

Her boldness made me smile. I agreed on going with her with one condition - I made her come with me to check on Lando. 

“Jesus, why did they let him drink this much?” she complained watching the deeply sleeping British rookie.   
“It was Kimi,” I looked at her meaningly. She rolled her eyes.   
“Fucking Raikönnen,” she spitted. The bitterness in her voice saying the Finnish name suggested more than the situation. 

_That can’t mean…_

“Victoria, don’t tell me…” I looked at her raising my eyebrows. She looked back with a serious expression.   
“If you tell anyone this, I tell yours,” she said. I laughed. I didn’t care if she had anything to do with the Finn, so it really wasn’t a high price for her silence. I nodded, and followed her to the dance floor. 

We were the only ones dancing, the rest - who haven’t left until this time - was all around the place, mostly talking or drinking. 

Somehow, I enjoyed being with Victoria. She was strange, but funny, and easy to be around. I laughed as she danced around me. 

After we danced out all the alcohol from our system, we joined Max and Daniel, who was laying in sunbeds, only wearing their underwear and drank whiskey from the bottle.   
“Hello, ladies,” Daniel greeted us with a wide smile, and raised the bottle in my direction.   
“No, thanks,” I shook my head.   
“Yes, please,” Victoria took the bottle instead of me, and drank. Max laughed, embarrassed.   
“God Vic, I really hope you didn’t spoil Clara,” he said.   
“No, I found her like this,” she answered and winked at me. 

“So, do you want to stay for a bit longer?” Daniel turned to me. “Or I can call a driver…” He said, but I shook my head. I just saw Charles exit the building with George and Carlos. I could see him saying goodbye, and with his last glance looking back he catched my gaze.   
I turned back to Daniel. “No, we can stay,” I smiled at him. 

So we stayed, and watched the sunrise together. Carlos brought us some blankets after the rest of the guests left, and joined us with Isa at his side.   
We nested cosily in the sunbeds. Daniel offered me half of his, so I sat by his legs which he kindly folded in a way I could lean next to him. I was listening to the others joking and chatting about the rest of the season, making up the craziest scenarios, but I was so sleepy I got lost after a while.

I woke up feeling hot. I grunted, and kicked the blanket off of me with my leg, then I tried to turn on my other side, but couldn’t quite succeed.   
“Shit girl, this hurt,” someone complained really close. It was still hot, mostly under me and smelled so good, it made me realise it only means one thing. I opened my eyes and raised my head from the chest of a frowning Daniel Ricciardo. 

“You know not to my body, but my soul,” he said. “Do you always kick your sleeping partner in the shin?”  
I blinked at him. We were still in the sunbeds, but the sun already shined. Next to us, there was Max and Victoria still asleep next to each other on one sunbed. On the third one there was Carlos, or at least a bundle of blanket in a shape of him.   
“Sorry I passed out on you,” I said, looking at him guilty. He bit his lips and shook his head.   
“It was OK,” he answered. “I didn’t mind.”  
I smiled at him again apologetically. 

“Hey, do you know what?” He asked. “Let’s go find some coffee, then he can head back before these get up,” he grinned, meaning the Verstappens.   
I laughed, but nodded and followed him inside. 

We were amazed about the tidiness of the house.   
“What on earth happened here?” Daniel inspected the kitchen with disbelief.   
“I really hope it wasn’t Isa doing all this by herself,” I bit my lips. 

“No, actually it was pretty much like this when I woke up.” Isa just walked to the kitchen from upstairs. “It was mainly Kimi,” she grinned.   
My mouth fell open, and Daniel looked at us with the same surprise.   
“I think his consciousness wasn’t really clear after Lando got sick,” Isa explained further. “I think he left an hour ago.”   
“God,” obviously Daniel still couldn’t believe what he heard. “I wouldn't believe a word if I didn't see it with my own eyes," he said.   
We nodded in agreement. 

After the coffee was ready I poured it to mugs, and handed one to Daniel, but he only smiled and shook his head.   
"What? You don't want it?" I asked.  
"Nope," he shook his head. "I don't like coffee," he said.   
I looked at him, frowning.   
"But you were the one who proposed we have some before leaving."  
He smiled as he bit his lips.   
"Yes, because I figured you might like it. 

On the way back to the hotel we chatted some more, mostly about the funny bits of the party and then about the remaining days of the week. 

"Aw, we have the running session tomorrow with the girls," I mostly reminded myself but spoke loudly. Daniel looked at me with appreciation.  
"It's so great you run together," he nodded. "But maybe tomorrow before the volleyball competition you can rest a bit…" He scratched his neck while thinking.  
"What volleyball competition?" I snapped.  
"You don't know? Geez, I thought Max told you," he looked at me guilty. "After all he proposed you could be in our team."

I looked out of the window, and decided I kill Max when we meet again. 

"It's fun," Daniel continued, smirking. "Although last year, Sauber with Leclerc and Ericsson made us look like a bunch of wankers. They won by like a thousand points." 

_Really, it's getting better and better._

"And when exactly is this competition?" I dared to ask.  
"Tomorrow, I think it starts around 9?" He frowned as he tried to remember his probably fully packed schedule.

"Splendid," I sighed as I stared out of the window, thinking about what a terrible idea was that to organise such an event.


	16. Don't call me up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the delay. I usually try to update weekly, but you know, life happens. In return, I will bring the next chapter this weekend, because it's ready and I love that one so much I can't wait to share it with you :) Although, I hope you'll like this one as well.

After we arrived home I said goodbye to Daniel and headed straight to my room. Vicki texted me earlier, writing that she went out to do some shopping.   
I felt still sleepy because no matter how comfortable was Daniel's chest i still slept for 3 hours - tops.   
I snuggled in the cozy couch and fell asleep in minutes. I my dreams I saw Kimi Raikönnen in his racing overalls, casually cleaning a house. It was scary enough to wake me up after an hour of restless sleep.  
I blinked a couple of times to realise where am I and what day it is.

I decided to go for a run after I was sure I won't go back to sleep. I changed, and since Vicki was sure she's spending the day at the mall - it was a fucked up idea if you ask me since the weather was excellent - I hit the roads and jogged around the beach. I enjoyed every minute of the struggle and loneliness. I was able to clear my head a bit which felt so refreshing I was actually smiling by the time I arrived back to my hotel. 

I walked through the parking lot and suddenly I recognised a familiar Alfa Romeo. I simply jogged to it, the front window lowered as I approached. 

"Don't you think it's a bit creepy to park in front of my hotel?" I asked as Leclerc's face appeared behind the tinted window. He grimaced and shook his head.   
"God, Clara. Before, I called you a couple of times, but you didn't answer," he explained. "I thought something's wrong. I almost went in to ask about you." He shrugged. 

I checked my phone and saw he was right. I had three missed calls from him. Of course, I’ve turned off all the notifications before leaving to only enjoy the music and the running. 

"Now, that would have been a really bad idea. Also would raise a million questions," I said bitterly as I fiddled with my phone to turn it to a loud mode again. While doing that Charles got out of the car, which I watched raising my eyebrows.   
"I wanted to tell you I can spend the day with you," he explained his action as a matter of factly. He was so determined I couldn't even make a response at first. 

"So what’s your plan, do we just walz in together?" I asked crossing my arms on my chest. He smiled at me, quite charmingly.   
"Well, if you insist you can go ahead. By the time I give some autographs to the fans," he smirked as he watched over my shoulder. I turned, and saw some tourist stopped and were whispering to each other. They clearly couldn't decide if it was a good idea to come over to us. 

"You are cheeky, Leclerc," I shook my head, smiling and added "I'm in room 304," then I walked in to the hotel. 

I closed the door but didn't lock it. Then I got ready to have a shower, and since my good mood was still on (runner's high on endorphins and everything), I put on a playlist and went in to the bathroom. 

I danced a little washing my hair to the good music roaming through speakers when the door opened. Luckily I recognised Charles standing in the doorway, otherwise I would have been scared to death. 

"Hey," I greeted him.   
“Ciao,” He smiled at me, and casually he began to strip.   
"What are you doing?" I asked, watching him, but he didn't really care to explain his actions, only stepped beside me and took me in his arms.   
"I missed you." He let out a long breath before he slipped his right hand along my side and back to reach for my cheek. He kissed me passionately, long and gently. Nothing reminded me of the demanding, furious version of him from the previous night.   
"Come on Charles, we just met like 12 hours ago?" I giggled into his kiss. 

He leaned away, looking at me like I don't understand something pretty obvious.   
"I wouldn't call it a meet up," he answered in a slightly offended tone. "It was more like a torture, watching you having fun with _everybody else_ but me," he pouted.   
I smiled at his expression.   
"I think we too, had some fun in the bathroom," I smirked. 

He looked me in the eye as if he just remembered the minute he lifted me up to the sink and slipped his hand in my panty under my skirt. He bit his lip, thinking.   
"Sure, but I couldn't finish what I started because of Lando," he said in the end, clearing his throat.  
I looked at him, as he caressed my behind with both hands, pulling me even closer. I enjoyed the hot water flowing on our bodies.   
"God, I hate unfinished business," he finished letting out a long sigh then kissed me again, this time on my neck, which made me shiver despite the hot water. 

"And what was that you didn't finish?" I played along, giggling quietly. His gaze turned much more serious at once.   
"This," he said and with that he slipped his hand between my legs and cupped my pussy. I gasped at the touch and closed my eyes in pleasure. 

He started to move his fingers in slow circles, and I felt my breathing became irregular. He just stood in front of me, with one hand he held me close and the other one did some amazing things to my body.   
As he found my wetness I heard him chuckle triumphantly and with a swift motion he slipped his middle finger inside me. I moaned as I gave myself fully over to the pleasure he offered. 

I felt both of the waves of hot water and pleasure flow over my limp body. I had to hold onto his defined shoulder to steady myself and avoid collapsing on the spot. 

"Come on, Clara" Charles whispered in my ear. "It seems like you wanted this too, just like me." His words made me gasp and I could only nod before he sighed and inserted another finger.   
I gulped. I felt my pleasure building up to a throbbing orgasm, and he could have felt the same because he also started to caress my clit with his thumb.   
"Charles, I'm so close," I managed to form the words, as he licked along my jawline. 

In the distance my phone started to ring.   
I froze and we looked at each other startled, then I looked in the direction of the door. Charles swallowed and shook his head.  
"No no no. You are not taking that," he said, strictly, as he turned my face gently but surely to face him.   
"But what if…" I started to protest but he silenced me with his mouth. He even slipped his tongue in, so I had no way to oppose. Safe to say, that he was really effective.

The caller seemed like not giving up, the song started again.   
Charles teared his lips from mine, frustrated. He leaned to me, pushing me to the wall of the shower cabin.   
"Damn," he cursed, as he grabbed his cock, and lined it against my entrance. I frowned as I watched what is he up to.   
"What are you doing?" I asked.  
"I don't care about anybody. I need you to be here right now," he said hurrying. He dipped the tip of his length in my slick.   
"I want to have you for myself. For a little time. Before you leave me again. Please," he pleaded. He panted heavily, and I didn’t even understand his despair. I looked in his desperate eyes and slowly nodded. 

"I'm not taking it," I assured him, and he let out a relieved sigh. With the next move he slipped inside me and started to move in a slow pace. I automatically opened my leg wider to let him thrust deeper. 

I didn't need much after his fingers done their job before, so after a couple of trusts I came hard squeezing his cock deep inside me.   
He surely felt my high and didn’t need much more time to come himself. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and breathed hard. I was grateful for him to still holding me firmly, otherwise I was sure my shaking legs would have given in already, minutes ago. In return, I slipped my hands to his muscular arms and slowly caressed them. 

I haven’t even realised when did the ringing stop. 

“I’m sorry,” Charles seemed like to gather himself again. He released me and looked me in the eye. He looked a bit guilty. “But I wanted you so much,” he nodded, maybe just for himself. “You know, after yesterday,” he said. 

I smiled at him. Yes, I knew what he meant. I was thinking about the previous night during my run. In one hand it was so much fun, I smirked at the returning memories. On the other hand I still felt a bit bitter about our disturbed little thing in the bathroom. Also, the little jealousy we both managed to feel made us do these desperate actions... 

“Come on,” Charles took my hand and helped me to get out of the shower. 

In the room, I searched for my phone. I saw on its display that I had two missed calls from Daniel.   
Why on earth would he call me? Since we just parted like four hours ago I was sure he didn’t call to chat. It got me curious but anxious at the same time, so I immediately hit the call button. He picked up after half a second.   
“Clara,” he said instead of greeting. “Geez, it’s so good you called me back,” he said.   
“Sorry, I was in the shower,” I said, and I didn’t lie but I sent an accusing glance to Charles, who was sitting on my bed, wearing only his briefs and clearly was eavesdropping. 

“I see. Listen, it’s about Lando,” he said and sighed. “He is still in a very bad shape. Carlos says he threw up everything in the last hours, and can’t even stand.” 

I buried my face in my hand. Yeah, that’s hangover. So what? It will pass. Eventually. What do I have to do with that? 

“The thing is, they have to be at some McLaren event at the evening.”  
I let out a chuckle.   
“Well, he should just cancel it,” I said simply. “He’s not gonna make it like that.”  
“Yeah, I know. That’s why we thought you could help him,” he explained.

_Fantastic_ \- I thought. _Being a well respected intensive care therapist and a bad ass, life saving anaesthetist, now I get to put together hungover teenager racing drivers. Awesome._  
I tried hard not to get annoyed about this. Lando seemed like a really nice guy and he got drunk because of Raikönnen in the first place.  
I rolled my eyes as I knew I’d give in. 

“Fine,” I said. I looked at my medical bag, which I fortunately took myself. I had everything I needed inside that.   
“Cool, Clara, you are the best,” I heard Daniel giggle on the other end of the line. “So should I pick you up in fifteen?” He asked hopefully.  
“Fine,” I said again. My voice showed I was not really keen on the subject.   
I hung up and looked at Charles, who wasn’t even pretending to play with his phone anymore. 

“Who was it?” He asked simply.   
“It was Daniel,” I said, and bit the inside of my cheek. I knew what was he thinking, his face said it all. His fine features deepened, and his lips became a thin line at once. He sighed deep as if he wanted to say something, but I was faster to continue.

“He says Lando is still really sick. I should help him because they have some media commitments in the evening," I explained.   
He looked at me for a minute and then he slowly nodded. 

"I see,” he said simply. “Come here,” he patted the bed beside him. I glanced around, because I wasn’t sure he understood that I need to leave now. Seeing my hesitation he repeated the gesture so I stepped in front of him.   
He smiled at me as he slid his palms on both side of my hips. His thumbs found their way to touch the bare skin exposed between the line of my t-shirt and my panties. He inhaled deeply and buried his face into the fine fabric of my shirt on my stomach. 

I smiled at his desperate behaviour to make me stay a bit longer. And the funnier thing was that it worked, I was still standing in his arms only wearing very little clothing and I couldn’t resist the urge to dig into his dishevelled hair. 

“How long is this going to take?” He mumbled against my belly.   
I rolled my eyes, because honestly, I had no fucking idea. Funny, that our program was depending on Lando’s body fluid redistribution and hepatic enzyme status.   
“I don’t know Charles,” I answered.   
“Ok, I’ll leave then,” he said. “We have a dinner with the team, but text me when you are done.” 

I nodded and left him to get ready. I managed to get the things I would probably need, then kissed the pouting Charles goodbye, making him promise he sneaks out of my room without being seen. 

In the parking lot, not far away Charles’s Alfa Romeo Daniel was already waiting for me.   
I was still a bit annoyed about leaving the Monégasque behind, so I just nodded at him and got inside the car. I saw him frown, as he sat beside me. 

“Okay, someone is a bit frisky,” his smile was at its usual place, spreaded across his wide lips, but in his eyes I saw the hint of disappointment.  
“Sorry, I’m just… a bit tired,” I lied and crossed my arms on my chest. And my legs. 

He looked at me, but decided to say nothing. He started the car and we remained silent on most of the way. We went the same way back to the villa as in the morning. 

Meanwhile, I was thinking, and Daniel was humming the songs what came after each other in the radio. After the first verse of a Taylor Swift song which he even sang along, I couldn’t contain myself and let out a small chuckle. 

“Do you know all the songs?” I asked him. He gave me a side glance.   
“I guess not, but Michael never bothers to set a playlist for our workouts, only switches on the radio. I guess it sticks,” he grinned back at me, but then turned back to set his eyes on the road. 

He took a turn to the side road which led directly to the Saniz Villa.   
“Anyway, it worked,” he said as a matter of factly after a few minutes. I frowned.  
“What?” I asked, being clueless about what he meant by that. He chuckled and gave me another side glance.  
“I managed to make you laugh,” he said. I glared at him, but he seemed not to really bother about what he said. He casually took another turn, then parked the car in the driveway. 

“Thank Goodness!” Carlos appeared in the front door immediately as we got out of the car. “Clara, you are the best,” he hurried to us, and hugged me. I freezed, not really sure what to do with this level of body contact at once.   
I mumbled a simple “Sure,” and nodded. “Show me to him,” I said. 

He led me to the living room couch, where I found a slightly green faced Lando. There was a big bucket in front of him, and he hugged a pillow tight to his chest.   
The view made me smile forgivingly. He really wasn’t in a good shape. 

“Hello,” I said, and put down my bag to prepare the infusion kit he clearly needed.   
“Hi,” he grunted. “Please, do whatever you want, just end this.”   
“We have an official McLaren screening at 8,” said Carlos, who was still standing beside us.   
I nodded, and took out the needle.   
“Listen, you don’t want to be here for a while,” I said, because I had a feeling Carlos wasn’t the person to help me insert an IV line. I remembered when Max saw me giving stitches to Daniel, and I didn’t want to bother about another driver passing out because of the sight of a little blood.   
Luckily, he understood what I said and left us alone. 

“Hey, it’s going to hurt a bit,” I said to Lando, but I was sure the little sting I made with inserting the branule in his arm - making sure to place it somewhere it won’t show later - was the least of his concern.   
“It’ll get better fast. I start an infusion with ions and other drugs which stops the vomiting,” I explained, and he looked at me with grateful, sleepy eyes.   
“Thank you Clara,” he nodded. “Sorry to make you trouble, but I thought since you were here yesterday, and know about all of this, maybe you would help,” he mumbled.

While I was listening to him I was searching for a place to hang the infusion bag up. I found a nice lamp, and pulled it next to the couch. It served the purpose perfectly.  
I set the dripping to a faster rate, and sat in an armchair. Since Lando just dozed off again, I got my phone out of my pocket, and started scrolling through it.

“All okay?” After a little while Daniel looked in to check on us. I nodded, and since I didn’t send him away he felt secure to lurk closer. There was a hot cup of coffee in his hand, which he offered to me.   
I smiled at the gesture.   
“You said you’re tired, so I thought...” he started to mumble as he scratched his nape.  
“Thank you,” I nodded.   
“Is he feeling better?” he asked, looking at Lando. The younger driver was sleeping on the couch peacefully. Blood seemed to turn back to his face now, and had significantly healthier colour than before.   
“Well, he hasn’t vomited for an hour now.”  
“Awesome. You know Carlos wants you to sign with McLaren,” he grinned at me.   
I scoffed.   
“And leave you and Max?” I asked laughing. “Never.”  
“That’s what I said as well,” he nodded. “We’d never let you,” he added, and looked at me with some rarely seen seriousness in his eyes. I looked up to him because he scratched his head again as if he wanted to say something else.   
“Listen, I’m sorry. Clearly this is not what you planned for today,” he started as he stepped next to me. This close, I had to direct my gaze absolutely upwards to meet his eyes.  
“Well, it’s not your fault Daniel,” I shrugged. He rolled his eyes.   
“Yeah, but I don’t like the idea about you not having fun,” he said, and I could see his cheeks turn a bit more pink, which made my grin a bit more wide.   
“It’s sweet of you,” I nodded. He scanned my gaze for a couple more seconds. The silence between us started to get heavier - again. 

From the couch we heard a weak grunt. Both of us turned to the direction of Lando who seemed to wake up.   
“Hey,” he looked at us. He frowned at the sight of us, which made me realise Daniel somehow stood quite close to me. Like so close we nearly touched. I stepped one step backwards. He didn’t.   
“Hey Lando,” Daniel waved awkwardly to him. “How you doing?”  
“I have no idea what’s in this, but it makes magic,” he glanced suspiciously at the nearly empty infusion bag above him. 

Daniel left to bring some light snack for Lando, who insisted he could eat now. I had my doubts, but let him do whatever he thought to be right.   
I changed the infusion bag to the next one when he frowned at me.   
“Uhm, Clara,” he cleared his throat. “So, I remember seeing something weird yesterday,” he said. I freeze. 

_What? No, Lando. You didn’t._

“What?” I asked in reality, in a high voice.   
“I think I saw you and... Charles?” He more asked this than stated. I bit my lip hard. Fuck.   
It was clear he remembered so there was no need to deny it. 

“Listen, it was not what you think,” I said, but he looked at me slightly offended.   
“I don’t know what I saw,” he frowned. “But it’s weird since I thought you don’t even know him?”  
I looked at him, trying to make him forget last night. Like entirely. But sadly, I still didn’t seem like to have any Jedi powers to make that happen. 

“I don’t,” I answered rapidly. He chuckled weakly.  
“Well, somehow you seemed to be close to me,” he stated. I rolled my eyes.   
“Listen, it’s nothing serious, so please don’t make this the topic of your next twitch stream or something like that,” I looked at him seriously. “Not that you would have been better yourself,” I gestured to his whole state. He chuckled again, but nodded agreeing. 

After Lando’s state clearly improved - so much he could make conspiracy theories about my lovelife in his head - we could leave and let them get ready for going back to the city as well.   
It was a little past six in the evening when we got in the car with Daniel. 

“Thank you again,” he looked at me gratefully. I nodded. There was really nothing for him to thank me. Besides, Lando promised he makes up for my efforts, and I strongly hoped he uses this to not say anything about me and Charles.   
That made me remember to text Charles. I fiddled with my phone, but noticed Daniel was giving me side glances.   
“So you have something else planned for today?” he asked casually when he parked down the car in front of my hotel. I was sure I recognised some anticipation in his tone.  
“Well, I need to search for Vicki, I haven’t met her today and she will kill me if I don’t give her a heads up,” I explained to him.   
I saw some disappointment in his eyes, but he nodded anyway.   
“Sure,” he said. “Then, I guess I see you tomorrow at the game.” 

I felt a sting of consciousness while I waved at him and turned back to my hotel. When I received Charles' answer _(Good. See you at yours shortly.)_ I was pretty sure Vicki won't be the one I'm spending the evening with.


	17. This feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, here it is :)

"This movie is so bad I'm amazed," I yawned and reached for my phone to answer Max's messages that I ignored before.   
Charles looked at me offended.   
"Come on, that's one of my favourite!” he snapped. I shrugged, and typed in that yes, I’d meet him tomorrow morning for breakfast. 

Then I forced myself to pay some attention to the movie we were watching with Charles. He came back early from his dinner with Ferrari team members, and insisted we watch something together. He chose Fast and furious - well I had to find out there are several movies with this name, but I couldn’t care less which one was on. I yawned again, and placed my head on his chest. He immediately pulled me closer and gave a soft kiss on my head.   
It was really nice of him to leave the Ferrari dinner, although I didn’t ask him to do that. Now, I felt guilty as I didn’t want him to seem unconcerned about his team because of me.   
The other thing was that I told Vicki and also Max that I’m tired and couldn’t meet them today. I never lied before, and was always proud of that. But today I did it several times, because of him. 

“If you don’t want this one, we can chose something else,” Charles mumbled from above my head as he slowly caressed my back.   
“No, it’s okay,” I said, but in that minute I closed my eyes and fell asleep. 

Next day I woke up early to meet Max before the volleyball game. I found him in the hotel’s cafeteria, reading the news on his phone.   
“Wow, I didn’t know you can read,” I smirked, standing behind his back.   
He turned quickly, and gave me an evil grin.   
“Hello Clara,” he greeted me. I took a seat and ordered from the waiter who appeared at the table.   
“You look well rested,” Max looked at me, examining my features.   
I felt slightly hotter, my face was surely getting blushed from his inspecting look. In fact, I did sleep well, and the morning sex with Charles helped me to wake up in a good mood, that was sure.

“Well, not that you invited me or anything but Daniel told me, you put me in the team for today’s volleyball championship. So I tried to be up for the challenge,” I winked at him.   
“Don’t whine, Christian happened to tell me you were on the university’s volleyball team as well,” he said as he grabbed the nutella toast on his plate.   
“I was in the team in high school!” I corrected him. “and it was 20 years ago,” I scoffed.   
“Anyways,” he said. “We need everyone to win over Leclerc and the Ferrari. You should have seen him being all over himself last year,” he explained, bitterly. 

“Hi guys,” Vicki arrived to the restaurant not long after that, and gave us some clothes for the event.   
“What’s it for?” I furrowed my eyebrows, examining the very short red pants and the navy top with the RB logo on it.   
“For looking professional,” she looked at me grinning.   
“This hardly look professional,” I made a grimace, because I didn’t like the idea at all to pose in that thing, out of which half of my butt peeks out. Especially in front of the whole grid and dozens of reporters. 

“Well, at least the view is perfect,” I heard Michael whispering it to Daniel when we were already standing on the sideline and waited for our call to enter to the field. They were standing behind me, and I heard Daniel’s nervous laugh and the sound of his punch to Michael’s stomach.

The event was organised on the beach, and in fact there were a lot of reporters and most people from the grid. The atmosphere was easy, the sun was shining and it was steaming hot. For a second, I was grateful for wearing only the tiny shorts and the top.

I really felt the positive consequences of attending Carlos’ party since several drivers greeted me with friendly smiles on the way. I chatted a bit with the McLaren drivers, Vettel waved at me and Pierre even came over to give a big kiss on my cheek. I thought maybe it’s a french thing, but then he whispered “Thank you for helping Lando,” and jogged away. 

Our first match was against Williams. We were six on the field. The two drivers from each team, and we had Michael, Max’s race engineer Gianpiero, a girl - aerodynamics engineer, her name was Jenny - and me.   
Williams had their reserve driver, Nicholas Latifi playing, because of yeah. Robert Kubica wasn’t in the state of playing volleyball since his rally accident a few years before. 

“Come on guys, we got this!” It looked like Daniel felt it to be his job acting as the team captain and grabbed every opportunity to cheer us up. 

“God Clara, that was good,” Max shouted to me after a good serve. I winked at him, and run back to my position. 

The good serve was followed by a couple more, and there, we got our first victory in twenty minutes. We gladly high fived each other and returned to the place next to the court for some drinks. 

I saw that the next ones up are the Ferrari and the Haas (Ferrari won by far much points made by a young Monégasque), then we watched the Racing Point vs. Renault game. 

“God it’s so hot,” sighed Daniel when he sat down next to us. I was sitting together with Max after he returned giving some interviews, and ever since we were criticizing everyone we could, giggling and sipping on our Powerades. 

However, I stopped talking when the Australian reached for the hem of his shirt, and simply removed it, revealing his muscular upper body. Just like that.   
He didn’t even care about that we had some more matches that I needed to attend. 

I gulped as he leaned back, and his six pack showed. Or was it eight? God. 

I stood up and was determined to leave to check if Vicki was available to hang out until we needed to be on the sand again. 

“Clara, here,” Christian stopped me on the stairs, to give me a bottle of sunscreen. “You are the doctor, please make sure our guys are responsible and protected,” he said.   
“Sure, will do,” I mumbled and turned to go back with a sigh. 

As I was back with the team, I handed the lotion to Daniel. I tried my best to not look at him since he was still half naked, sunbathing in a short and sunglasses. This should be illegal.   
Insead, I paid all my attention to the just started Ferrari vs. McLaren match. I smiled at Charles, who was up the serve, but before doing so he glanced at us. He sighed deep then threw up the ball and hit it. The ball just landed in front of Lando, who tried to hit it back, however, failed miserably, and by that he earned Carlos’ loud laugh.   
“Man, you need to focus,” he yelled at him, but Lando was only giggling. 

“Clara, can you help me?” Daniel’s shadow appeared in my periphery. I snapped my head up, and he was standing there with the sunscreen lotion in his hand. I frowned my eyebrows.   
“With what?” I asked in an unnaturally high voice.   
“Can you apply some on my back?” He asked and grinned at me. “Please?”

Sure. Fuck. I’m not going to touch him.   
Or wait. Maybe hell, I will.   
I turned red. Then I nodded slowly.

“Ok, then turn,” I mumbled, and he did so, as I pushed some creme in my hands. I gently but effectively massaged the back of Daniel, strongly concentrating to act professional.   
I nearly finished when the crowd groaned loudly. I looked up, and saw that Carlos made a point - in fact the third one in a row - as Charles failed to react fast enough. He was looking in our direction every other second. He seemed much angrier than before, and I was sure it didn’t have anything to do with McLaren winning. I sighed.   
“Shit.”   
Daniel turned a bit to face me.   
“What’s wrong?” He asked.   
Fuck, I guess I said that out loud. I directed my gaze from the fuming Monegasque to him.   
“Oh, nothing,” I hurried to smile at him. “I just need to go to the toilet before we are up again.” I said and left them there to hurry in the direction of the loo. 

I got ready nearly the same time as the previous game finished, so I had the chance to high five the winner McLaren team on the sideline. I didn’t realise that after them, the still annoyed looking Charles will go past me as well. He looked at me for half a second, but I could clearly see his eyes were full of bitterness and disappointment.   
“Can you please stop what you are doing?” he hissed between his teeth, but didn’t even wait for my response. He just stormed away like an offended child. 

I blinked after him for a couple of seconds. He was really acting like a child - again. I crossed my arms and after a tired scoff I decided to turn back to my team.

Our next game was against the Mercedes to get into the finals. Luckily, Hamilton and Bottas didn’t look like very motivated, nor was able to play as a team.  
Soon, we secured a five point advantage.   
“So cool, come on guys we can do this,” Michael clapped as Max served. He was getting the hold of the game, and managed to score another point.   
“Yesss,” he boxed into the air. I smiled at him happily. 

We were even happier when in a few minutes, we won. That meant we were up to play the final match. However, my grin faded a little as it turned out it would be against the Ferrari team. 

I felt myself getting more tense as we walked to the court. The others were already there from Ferrari. Mia and Britta waved to me happily as they recognised me, and even Sebastian nodded kindly. They had the two personal trainers with them, Antti and Andrea. I remember seeing them with the drivers on the grid for several times before.

I stood on the right side in the front row, and get to face Charles. He looked at me still annoyed, and huffish. His behaviour made me roll my eyes.   
Come on, we have a match to win!

Daniel started to serve, and he did it quite good. He scored three points, and whistled loudly when we had to switch places.   
“And here comes the queen of the killer shots,” he yelled proudly. I laughed, but I felt my face turn flushed again.   
It was now time for Charles to roll his eyes. I settled to serve and I decided to aim at his annoyed face as I scored our team’s next point. 

The match continued like that, and we managed to lead all the way to the end. The Ferrari team seemed a bit out of synchrony, while we cheered and encouraged each other at every opportunity we got.   
However, Max screwed up his last serve, and like that not only the opponent got another chance but I happened to be the next one up to serve.   
I gulped as Andrea hit the ball to the net after a heroic jump. 

“Come on girl,” I heard Max not far away. I bit my lip in concentration, and threw the ball high up in the air. I really wanted to help this team shine. I wanted to be proud being the part of it.   
I jumped up, and the next second I hit the ball to the other side of the net. Vettel and Charles both tried to reach it, but they collided in the act.   
We won. 

“CLARA,” I heard Daniel’s voice, then immediately afterwards I felt a warm body smashed to mine. Arms wrapped around me, and I spun, lifted to the air. I laughed, and tried to get a hold on Daniel’s shoulders. The others jogged to us as well, and everyone hugged each other. Honestly, I think they were more happy than after some won races. Maybe because it was a spectacular team achievement, maybe because it was on a beach with great music, and drinks, maybe because it was still a win against Ferrari.   
Anyway, everyone’s smile was as wide as it could get. 

I glanced to the other side of the court, and saw Charles was still sitting in the sand. Andrea stepped next to him to help him up but he turned his trainer down with a frustrated gesture. Vettel watched him, then he shook his head and left to walk over to congratulate to us. 

Only when Christian squeezed my hand I realised Daniel still had his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him, and it seemed like it was the moment for him too to notice himself. He swallowed, and took a step away with a couple shades redder than before. 

“Guys, I think we should celebrate tonight," Michael came up with the idea. "Who knows, maybe we won't have another happy moment this weekend," despite what he was saying he grinned foolishly.  
"Fuck off Italiano," Max snapped, but Daniel only smiled.   
"Yes, you are right mate, let's go somewhere," he agreed. 

We decided to text each other the details. I was happy because of our win and definitely excited about going out to celebrate in my favourite city.   
The only thing that didn't let my chest be light is that Charles was probably still fuming about god knows what. 

I sighed as I joined Vicki to go together to the race track, because in spite of our busy schedule partying and playing we needed to check the garage if it was ready for the weekend.

The builders did a fantastic job and managed to get ready with the whole RB hospitality building well before time on Wednesday morning.   
There was not many people around, maybe a few mechanics and some people still packing.   
I went inside our office and started to open boxes. I used this quite time to relax and think a bit. 

I really liked Charles. He was kind, caring and I had his full attention, like all the time. I should mention his impressive skills in bed, which still made me forget my own name time after time. But this was not enough. I didn't feel his fiery character manly. It was more of a childish clinginess. And there was the hiding. All. The. Time. I was still sure as hell that I didn't want to deal with all the media hype around him, but the other thing was that I felt like I'm breaking some law while laying in his arms.   
I scoffed.   
Fuck it. I promised I won't be bothered about all of this, and here am I. Again.

Somehow, during this philosophical brainstorming Daniel's image popped in my head. To be more direct, it was his arms around my waist while he lifted me up in the air like I was nothing and laughed easily while hugging me tight. I still felt his warmness around me. The previous heavy feeling in my chest was replaced by a gentle tingle in my stomach and I realised my lips curved into a small smile. It only grew bigger as I received a text from Daniel saying we meet at 8 pm in the hotel's lobby.  
I sighed, and continued to pack. 

Till the afternoon, I still haven't heard from Charles. I decided I won't be the one texting him because I did nothing wrong. After I got ready preparing our office for the weekend and wrote a nice email to Dr. Conrad about the Doctor's Training tomorrow, I had lunch with Vicki.   
It was almost 7 when we got back to the hotel. She had a date with Jake, and I also had to get ready for our night out. 

_I'm sorry I freaked out this morning. Can I come over to talk?_  
Charles' message arrived two minutes after 8. I was already in the lobby with Jenny and Max, waiting for the others. I sneakily typed in my answer.   
_I'm sorry too but we are going out now. Raincheck?_

A minute passed before I got his answer.   
_Who are you going out with?_  
Unbelievable. I ignored his jealous message and instead I stepped next to Jenny to compliment on her dress. 

I am allowed to have fun without him. And I will. 

The night was really fun. We couldn't stay long because of the Media Day tomorrow but after we had dinner in a nice restaurant on the beach, we headed out to dance a little.   
Funny enough, it was Gianpiero who insisted on partying. I always thought he is a rigid, serious bloke. However now, after a couple of beers he was the one leading the group into the club he just found in some online top list. 

In the club, the music was loud and despite it was only 10 pm, there was a lot of people. Luckily, only a few of them realised who are we with, so we could hit the bar and order our drink without being bothered much.   
"Wow, it's so great, right guys?" The slightly drunk Gianpiero looked at us enthusiastically. We could only nod with a forgiving smile.   
"Let's hit the dance floor!" He shrieked, and disappeared in the crowd.  
"Come on, I don't wanna lose you," said Daniel next to me while he grabbed my hand and led me through the dancing people.   
As we found a place we all fit we started to dance in a circle. In was fun, mainly because of watching Gianpiero's funny dancing moves. 

I snorted again for the twentieth time, when I felt a hand slipping on my waist. I glanced to my side but it was unnecessary. I knew it was Daniel, and I smiled at him because I kind of waited for his move. He saw my smile as an encouragement because he stepped closer so our bodies touched. His body was so warm and his scent was intoxicating. I closed my eyes to fully enjoy it.   
His hand magically stayed at one place as if he wasn't sure where was it allowed to wander.   
We stayed like this until the end of the song came and only then, he leaned a bit closer.   
"I am so happy you are here," he whispered in my ear, taking the opportunity of the short silence.   
I glanced at him and smiled.   
"Me too, Daniel," I said. 

Too soon Max reminded everyone it was time to return to the hotel. Again, he had to argue a bit with his engineer but in the end he succeed and all of us headed to the main road to catch taxis.   
Once we hailed one, Max, Jenny, Gianpiero and Michael shoved themselves inside. I pouted watching the scene.   
"Hey! What about us?" I asked loud and I really hoped they hear me with the windows closed. All of them were grinning and waving as they simply left. 

I sighed, and turned to check where Daniel was. He was also waving to me but from next to another taxi and they seemed like waiting for me.   
"Come on Clara, we can get ahead," he winked. I laughed and hurried to hop inside. We asked the driver to follow the taxi in front, and luckily the old spanish guy was up for the fun. He took the whole scene seriously, and basically raced through the streets to the hotel. I laughed so hard my side hurt, but I also had to squeeze Daniel's hand in fear at a tight turn. 

We managed to arrive just before the others.   
"Wow, that was fun," I exhaled feeling relieved.   
"Hell, it was," Daniel agreed, and glanced at our hands, fingers still entwined.   
"Ah, sorry," I apologized as I let go of his hand.   
"It's OK," he mumbled quietly, while still examining his own hand.

"So, Mr.Ricciardo do I get an autograph for my speeding?" The old driver turned back to face us and grinned enthusiastically.   
"Sure, Mr. Costa," Daniel turned to him grinning and took his pen to sign the piece of paper he was handed. 

Then we got out of his car. I looked around but we didn’t see the others anywhere. I guess Max decided to guard Gianpiero up to his room. Michael and Jenny was having a quite good time talking in the last hour so I supposed they must be together as well. 

Daniel seemed not to think this much about where the others might have been gone.   
In fact, the next thing I saw was that he wandered to the other side of the road, where a park’s entrance was.   
“What the fuck?” I muttered, but he clearly didn’t hear me. He realised the entrance gate was closed with a massive lock. I smirked and shook my head, as he jogged back to me.   
Getting closer, I saw his mischievous smirk on his face.   
“Would you like to take a walk?” he asked me, still smiling like a fool. I frowned, because his grin wasn’t comforting.   
“I’m not sure,” I started, but he insisted.   
“Come on Clara, you’ll like it,” he said, and reached for my hand. I was kind of curious, so I let him pull me to the gate he just examined.   
“Ok, it’s closed. Now what?” I frowned at him again. The night air was getting colder, and I almost didn’t feel to soothing effect of the previously consumed drinks.   
“Here, step here,” he said, as he entwined his fingers, forming a loop to lift me up. Like, on the fence. _Wait. What?_  
“You don’t think I’ll just hop across a fence of a public park?” I chafed. His face morphed to being more serious, and he nodded understandingly.   
“Sure,” he said, and I relieved. Not breaking the law today. 

Only, the next second, he grabbed me by the waist, and lifted me up, almost the height of the fence. It was as high as me, and I screamed as I automatically grabbed the top. I screamed again as I pushed myself to the other side, but I giggled as I landed on the lawn.   
“Are you insane?” I pointed to Daniel, who got over the fence with light moves. “Do you want to kill me?” I asked. He looked at me apologetically.   
“No, not at all. I just want to take a walk,” he grinned again. 

On one hand I had a strong urge to wipe the stupid grin from his face, but in the other hand I was smiling too, and had a good feeling deep in my stomach that I’ll be having fun with him. 

“Are you coming?” Daniel looked at me from the middle of the path. I nodded and I followed him.   
It turned out it was a quite big park, and yet, we didn’t see any security personnel. We walked casually next to each other.  
"So, you lived here before, right?" He asked me out of nowhere. I blinked at him, because I didn't remember telling him about me being here for summer practice.   
"Max told me," he admitted, probably seeing my confused expression.   
"Wow, it's a bit creepy," I chuckled, thinking about him talking with Max about me. "But yes, I was here for a more than a month, and since then I think this is my favourite city."  
"I see. And is there any other country on your bucket list you want to get to?" He asked curiously.   
This got me thinking, and by the time we reached a pond with a monumental statue around it.  
"Wow, that is pretty," Daniel gaped next to me. It made me smile because he was like a kid.   
"Yes. I think I might have been here before…" I frowned, but couldn't recall the name of the place. I made a mental note to check it when I get home.   
"So?" He turned to me again.   
"So what?" I blinked at him.   
"What is your dream destination?"  
"Well," I started. "I’d really like to see Hawaii. And maybe New Zealand," I smirked. Daniel's face lit up.   
"Wow, cool! I've never been to Hawaii, but I'm dying to get there once." He smiled.   
"It's so cool, right? But you like the whole USA, I guess?" I asked, and by seeing his excited eyes I already knew the answer.   
"Yeah, I make this pretty obvious," he nodded.   
He explained that he has a Texan flag in his living room and he has most of his fans from the US - well, apart from 'Straya - as he called his home. 

“Wait, maybe we can organise a team building trip to Hawaii,” he smiled. “That’d be lit.”  
I smiled, because it was a fabulous idea, but with the new budget cap, I wasn’t dying to know what my uncle would say to the plan. 

“Or we can just go there?” he suggested at a matter of factly.   
I snapped, and looked at him with a frown.   
“What? Like the two of us?” I asked, confused. He watched me with some curiosity.   
“No, I mean with the others too, like Max,” he hurried to answer, seeing my reaction. “You know, Victoria, Michael, probably Martin would be in as well.”   
“Martin, who?” I asked, since I didn’t remember anybody by the name, except the Head of the anesthesia assistants at my previous workplace. Daniel raised one of his eyebrows, as the answer was the most obvious one.   
“Martin, like Garrix?”   
I blinked twice.

“You mean the DJ?” I gaped. He laughed at me and nodded.   
“Yeah, he’s a good guy, don’t worry,” he insisted. “He is a bit crazy, but he also gets along with Max.”  
I was still blinking at him, because I couldn’t really digest this level of randomness.   
“I’m not going to hit the road with Martin Garrix,” I said, simply. Daniel chuckled.   
“Sure, but then you have to tell him. And I assure you he will be hurt by your rejection,” he pouted. I could only laugh about this whole absurdity. 

“Speaking of Max,” he started to talk again. “He kinda misses you,” he said.   
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, because I didn’t really understand what he was referring to.   
“I mean that he told me you made some plans, just the two of you hanging out, and nowadays somehow you always too busy to meet him.” He grimaced. In was strange that we were talking about Max and I at a place and time like this.  
Of course he was right, until this morning I basically didn’t meet Max for a week, not even in London. And here in Barcelona, I was always with Charles, even turned down the Dutch’s calls several times, when lying in the bed with his biggest rival. 

“Any why is that we talk about this?" I asked him. I was a bit cocky but I really didn't understand why is his business. Daniel seemed to understand my valid question as he blushed a bit and continued to talk gently.   
"I'm not sure," he was clearly thinking loudly. "I guess I just want the two of you stay the close friends as you are now. You know he likes you so much."  
It was so nice of him speaking like that, it made me bit my lips while grinning.   
Now, this made his gaze divert to my mouth. Then back to my eyes, then again to my lips.   
I had a tight knot formed in my stomach, and somehow my heart sank to the pavement. 

My mind was racing at least as fast as a Red Bull racing car could. Does he want to kiss me? Now? If yes, why? I'm so not ready for that. He is too good, too funny and I'm sure he is too drunk and just couldn't find anybody else in this park to mess with, and I might just die if he gets tired of me… Fuck, Clara. You are already sleeping with Leclerc. What's your plan with _him_ anyway?

I shook my head confused with my own thoughts, mainly to make them go away. But in reality, Daniel was still looking at me, and frowned at my action.  
"Are you OK?" He asked me quietly.   
I hurried to smile and nod.   
"Yes, sorry I'm fine," I said.   
"C’mere then," he swept me to his side with one hand and guided me gently to the gate where we climbed in. 

"It was an honour to take this little adventure with you, Clara," Daniel grinned at me after a long inhale.   
"Yeah, it was fun," I nodded. However, deep inside I felt hollow and bitter, as if I still missed out on something really really good.


	18. Wanna go dancin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend to all of you! 😘   
> I love this little chapter, made me smirk all the time writing it, hence there isn't anything big.   
> But maybe, the greatness really is in the smallest things... 😏

Media Day was always hectic and stressful, and honestly I was happy to stay away from the mess for a bit.   
Today was the training I was planning for quite a long time and our aim with Dr. Conrad was to pass on some practical knowledge to our fellow doctors on the grid. 

David was still very excited about working together. It was logical, we made a good team as we represented the two different sides of a possible treatment procedure. A traumatic- and neurosurgeon working well together with an anaesthetist was a rare but obviously a winning combination. 

"So, let's begin," Dr. Conrad clapped his hands together enthusiastically.   
The nearly 10 doctors gathered in a training lab, were divided to two teams and started to work together. Their first task was to safely remove a supposedly injured driver from a racing car after an imaginary accident. 

They were quite competent and after a short debriefing we moved on to the next task.   
"Okay guys, so just imagine the patient is crashing, BP is falling to 60 over 30, monitor shows bradycardia. What do you do?" I presented the scenario. A blonde guy in a Racing Point t-shirt raised his hand.  
"I guess we apply the ABCDE examination," he said.   
"Very good," I smiled. "Please do as you said."   
They started working, examining the said patient, the mannequin laying on the floor. 

"I think everyone is having a great time," Dr. Conrad stepped next to me, smiling proudly.   
"And I'm sure they're learning a lot."   
I nodded and turned to watch my colleagues saving the fictional racing driver. 

"Clara, I was thinking," he started to speak again after a while. I glanced back at him.  
"Would you like to accompany me in the Medical Car in Monaco?" He asked.   
I gaped, then my mouth curved into a big smile.   
"Really? Hell, yes!" I shrieked. I got chills. It was such a great honour, and I damn sure felt overexcited about sitting in a car during the race weekend, actually feeling the pressure of responsibility on my shoulders again. 

"God Clara, you really have to do this?" Max grunted when I told him about the happy news.   
Ok, that wasn't the reception I was waiting for.   
"What's your problem with that?" I asked him frowning.   
He facepalmed, and shook his head with disbelief.   
"What is my problem with that? That it's dangerous! You have to be in that car and waiting for an accident, and being there first if something happens," he explained angrily.   
"Yes, that's the whole point," I smiled but that only made him angrier.   
"Yes but you really don't see that if there's an accident there can be another one? These guys - there are real idiots around here and if they don't see the red flag they will crash into you so easily as I'm saying this," he explained in a high voice. 

We were standing in the garage on Friday morning, and I just wanted to congratulate to him on his personal best during FP1.   
I guess it was a bad idea. 

"I'll take care of myself, don't worry," I nodded.   
"I know but I still don't want you to be there," he said with a serious expression.   
It made my heart melt and I had to hug him right there. Usually, I didn't do such things because a camera can always spot us, but I didn't care, he was just too cute as he was worrying about me. 

Although, I didn't feel the same as it turned out he snitched me at Daniel, too. 

The Australian driver found me in the cafeteria while I was eating my lunch alone.   
"Clara," he sat down next to me with a rarely seen serious face. Somehow, I knew what this conversation would be about. I looked at him raising my eyebrow, and took another bite from my tuna sandwich. We haven't talked much since our little stunt in the park.

"We talked with Max, about your new assignment," he started to talk, quite formerly.   
Honestly, if I didn't know I'll be pissed in a minute, his face would make me laugh out loud.   
"And we concluded that we don't allow you to be part of the Med Team," he said.   
Ok, now I bursted out laughing. How could they? I mean they are not my father, nor my brothers or my BF. When I was finished with my laugh I said,  
"You can't. Christian let me already," I told him.   
In fact my uncle, the team principal was proud and was waiting to tell the press he's working with such a professional team that FIA asked for their help.  
"Just another reason for you two not to crash into each other again, right?" I said bitterly.   
I knew this was a hit below the belt, but I was kind of pissed off with their objections.   
As my friends they supposed to be supportive about my happiness, right?

Speaking of my happiness, it wasn't crystal clear. I didn't speak with Charles since his text saying sorry than freaking out on that I went out to celebrate RB's volleyball win.   
I was angry with him, I still thought he was acting immature and selfish. And it wasn't my turn to seek his forgiveness. 

I watched the FP2 with Vicki, but she was working on her phone all the time. Monaco was coming up in two weeks, and that weekend - as I learned - was the press officers nightmare.   
"We have two Gala dinners, one movie screening and a Prize giving invitation for Wednesday. For a fucking Wednesday, would you believe?" Vicki looked at me with a desperate expression, as she took another gummy bear I've brought as snack for the two of us.   
"Think differently," I smiled at her, wiggling my eyebrows. "Which one do we want to go? Pick that one," I smirked.  
"Ah, I'd be glad if that was this easy," she sighed.   
"Then, eat the last one, it'll surely help," I held the bag out for her. 

Our cars did well on Saturday. Daniel finished on pole, Hamilton was second and Max ended up third. Ferraris struggled in the turns and it showed in their times.  
This of course didn't make the Dutch happier, and Max didn't even talk that much during the usual family dinner on Saturday night.   
"You'll push hard tomorrow, don't worry," I squeezed his shoulder during the after-eat chat.   
"I will," he nodded while he zoned out. 

And he did.   
On Sunday the race started in sunshine, with great atmosphere. Everyone was excited for "Dani Ric" to start from pole, followed by Hamilton and Verstappen.   
"Wish me luck," Daniel winked at me before he jogged away to the garage to go out on the grid.  
I would never admit it to Max, but I secretly wished the Australian got his well deserved golden trophy later. 

The start of the race was smooth, Daniel managed to build a gap ahead of the Mercedes. Hamilton was pushing hard, but not as hard as Max did. He was getting closer to the silver arrow each lap, until getting in the DRS zone. A few turns, and everyone stood up in the garage, in dead silence. If he manages to take over we could get another 1-2...  
Sadly, in the next turn he pushed too hard, and Max's front wing touched Hamilton's tyre. The Red Bull's nose was pretty much gone in a second, and the car spun to the green grassy area next to the track.   
"Fuuuck, what an IDIOT," Max's voice over the radio was of course more than disappointed. "What was he doing? He didn't leave me space," he shouted.   
"We saw that Max, we saw that. I'm sorry. Return to box," Gianpiero was talking to him calmly.   
Soon, we also got Hamilton's reaction.   
"Hey, he did this on purpose. He is insane, guys report this. This costed us the race," he complained, as he returned to the box and got a new set of tyres. No matter that he could finish the race, he was still the last one with 2 minutes of disadvantage. 

"This sucks on so many levels," Max gritted through his teeth as he got a seat next to me in the garage. "He should have given me a chance to overtake," he complained.   
I understood his disappointment, but I was not sure he was right. Of course I'd never admit it publicly but I think he was too aggressive on the track.   
Instead, I hugged him tight. Victoria was there also, and I gave up my seat to her as he came over.   
"Don't worry Maxy," she grinned. "You will come back stronger at home. You'll show them in Monaco," she said and I could see she was fully convinced.

"This sucks on sooo many levels," Max said in a bitter tone next to me, as we watched the podium ceremony on TV. He refused to go out in person. I gave him a side glance.  
"You said that already."  
"I know, but I specifically told them that I want to start, using the soft tyres. But no, they are keeping them safe and snug under the heating blankets like they are the fucking crown jewels", he complained. 

His disappointment was understandable, especially when some of his biggest rivals were on the podium.   
Since Max and Hamilton crashed, Charles came in second and Vettel ended up third.   
Charles managed to steal big championship points while he didn't get any.

"I'm going home," he said. I huffed and stood in front of him.  
"No, you are not. I understand this is hard. But Daniel is pretty happy and he needs you by his side. So please, get your head out of your butt and be able to celebrate his win. For once," I said.   
He blinked at me.   
"Geez, Clara. You are like a little dictator," he smirked.   
"I don't care what you think of me," I lied, as I watched Daniel spraying his engineer, Simon with champage. "But you stick around for the night."

I promised him we go together to the victory party. Victoria joined us of course, and we decided on going to a local bar before hitting the club.   
It was only the three of us, giggling and drinking Max's sorrow away.  
Victoria was flirting the waiter from the beginning and because of that, we got double amount of drinks with every round.   
"You should come to Monaco," Victoria pointed at me. I giggled about her, pointing at me quite accusingly.   
"I will, isn't it the next race?" I asked.   
"Yes it is, which I have to win!" Max shrieked, and drank half of his beer at once.   
"Nooo, I don't care about your lame race," Victoria shushed him. Max frowned at her.   
"What do you mean about you don't care?" He snapped.   
"Fuck Max, please care about anybody else than yourself, just for a second will you?" His sister gave him a deadly look, then turned back to me.   
"No, I mean you should come to visit us. It'd be fun. And if you are bored, you can still go around the neighbourhood." 

Her little addition in the end made me want to kill her. She wiggled her eyebrows and was grinning at me, fully aware Max is sitting next to us while she's referring to my secret affair with Charles. 

I blushed, and fell silent for a minute.   
He still didn't call me, nor texted. I was lucky enough not to meet him in the paddock the whole weekend.   
But now, as we were heading to a party where all the formula one personnel gathers, seeing him seemed inevitable.   
I sighed. 

"Come on, we are already late," Victoria herded us out of the bar, to a taxi which took us to the club. 

"My dear Clara," the first person I saw was Dr. Conrad, to whom I was waving happily while I was secretly praying for him to move away and not to force me to small talk while being slightly drunk. 

"Thursday was such a success, I'm incredibly proud," he said.  
"Thank you, doctor," I nodded shyly.   
"I would ask for a dance if I wasn't this old," he winked and luckily let me go. 

"Fuck, it was close," I said to Victoria. We were standing at the bar, Max went to the toilet but left us his order list of a significant amount of alcohol.   
"So now what, are you meeting Leclerc?" Victoria asked me, not even her voice was lowered.   
"Victoria please be more discreete about this," I gritted between my teeth. She rolled her eyes.   
"Sure," she nodded. "But I don't want to be around when this gets out," she added.   
My eyes went wide with fear, because it was one of the terrible scenarios when I didn't want to be around.   
"No, it won't," I shook my head.   
"Sure," she said again. "As it usually doesn't," she couldn't be more sarcastic even if she wanted to. She snorted into her drink. 

"At least Dani Ric is happy," she pointed behind my back.   
I turned around and slowly I recognised what she meant.   
There was Daniel, dancing with a bunch of girls around him.   
Suddenly, I felt the alcohol buzzing in my head, and I felt slightly nauseous. He was all smiles, sweaty and got two beers in his hands dancing happily to the shitty song that was on.   
"Congratulations," I mumbled. 

Worst of all, Max insisted on going to them when he returned from to loo.   
"I'm hugging my mate if you made me stay," he looked at me accusingly.   
"It's not that important, we can just stay here," I suggested, but the Verstappen siblings were already on their way. 

"Heeeeey," said Daniel and it was a simple world but one could tell that he is totally wasted.   
I was relieved to see at least that Michael turned up to give him a bottle of water to switch at least one of the beers. 

Max hugged his teammate. I watched the scene with a half smile as Michael stepped beside me.   
"I'm so sorry," he said it to my ear. I frowned at him.   
"About what?" I asked. He sighed, as it was pretty obvious but still he had to explain it.   
"This," he pointed to Daniel. "He wanted to be with you guys so much, but was afraid to piss of Max with his win," he said. "And somehow ended up like... this," he gestured towards his Australian friend.

What he said echoed in my head. I didn't even think that he's not with us because of protecting Max. I bit my lips, because I felt a bit guilty about being angry at him. He seemed to have fun at the moment, celebrating his win. However, I didn't feel like watching him hugging and touching other girls while doing so. 

"Take care of him, please?" I said to Michael. After he nodded, I left them there. I wasn't sure what I'd like to do, I only knew that this weekend was too much.   
I was confused, tired, and no matter how much happened, I still felt empty. I wanted to feel something else than the bitterness. 

_Fuck, if we stayed longer in that park, or maybe I wouldn't have freaked out, maybe it would be different now...  
Or maybe he's like that. A cool guy, who's that easy-going, maybe he doesn't care about walking around in the moonlight with one girl than taking the other three to dance the next day. _

_And still, there he was, looking damn happy all the time. Maybe he's the one doing it right.  
I shook my head. This is again, a fantasy of yours and not the real world, Clara. You shouldn't be thinking that much. Get yourself together. _

I was convinced that a little fresh air would help to clear my head. I walked outside, since the club had a huge terrace looking over to the beach. Luckily, only a couple of people were outside. Toto Wolff was talking quietly in the corner with another two manager-looking old men, and in the other corner Kimi Raikönnen was smoking with a young, black haired girl.   
I sighed, and walked to check out the view while I was determined to finish my drink. 

Soon, I heard a cough next to me. Raikönnen was standing next to me, the girl vanished somewhere.   
"Hey, want some?" He asked, holding out a bottle of vodka. I shook my head.   
"No thanks."  
"Your loss," he shrugged, and poured himself.  
I gave him a side glance, but turned back to watch the sea. 

"I'm sorry you had to take care of the kid," he murmured after a while. Lanfo. I didn't answer. I thought it was more than enough from him to apologise like that. 

"I like talking to you," he smirked after another two minutes of silence. I turned to face him and I saw that a little smirk is hiding in the corner of his mouth.   
"I needed some silence," I told him.   
He nodded.

"You know I have no idea what you need but who needs you is just lurking at our backs," he said on an indifferent voice and he took another sip from his vodka.   
I frowned, and glanced back to see that Charles was standing not far from us, with his hands in his pockets, with a unidentifiable expression on his face.   
I sighed and turned back to Raikönnen, holding out my glass to him. He smirked, and poured some liquor to my glass.   
"Thanks," I said quietly.   
He didn't answer only nodded curtly and walked away.   
He left the half empty bottle behind.

As we were alone, Charles walked over to me.   
"Hello," I said.  
His face was tired, I could see some black circles around his eyes.  
"Hey," he murmured. "I was looking for you."  
"Well, you found me."  
"Yeah, finally," he sighed and slipped his hand on my waist, and buried his face in my hair.   
I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly. It was nice to feel him close.  
He gave a small kiss on my neck.  
"Wait, we are still at the party," I reminded him of where we were. He looked up.   
"Yeah, and I have no idea why," he said. "This party sucks," he turned back to me. "Let's go." He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him.   
I made sure I've taken Kimi's vodka with my other hand.

We went straight to his hotel room. I didn't care about him, being childish or selfish anymore. My head was numb and only cared about having fun and feeling appreciated. And there he was, caressing me everywhere with his fine hands. I sighed into his kiss, and thought it's not that bad to be here. Instead, I was convinced at that moment that I wanted to be here all day. With him and nobody else.  
I - too - can be happy, and carefree. And I can have some fun. 

"Good morning," he whispered in my ear the next morning.   
I smiled, and turned to my other side to face him. His hair was disheveled, peaking out in every direction.  
"Good morning," I said. He kissed my temple again, and began to hint kisses all over my neck.   
I giggled on the ticklish feeling. He chuckled but didn't stop, only made his way further down. He ended up cupping each of my breasts with his hands, and gave small kisses to my nipples. I sighed as I felt them harden.   
"So, I was thinking," Charles said between two kisses. "You should come to Monaco with me." 

I frowned for a second, but he didn't even look at me, he was looking at my breasts, and one of his hand disappeared under the blanket. Soon, it found its way to my stomach, he spread his long fingers, and slowly slipped them in my panties.   
"We could spend some time together before the race," he said. "Just the two of us, nobody bothering," he finally looked at me, his eyes were full of hope. "I want to show you my home," he said, and the same time, his long fingers found my folds, and with a familiar move, he slipped one of his finger inside me.   
I gasped at the sudden, pleasant feeling, and closed my eyes.   
"Clara," he whispered. "Say yes please." He asked while started to move his finger torturingly slow, in and out. I fought for each deep breath, and I had to squeeze my eyes to keep them shut to think remotely sane. 

_Monaco is in two weeks. It was Monday. We have to fly out with the team in a week, the latest. Max and Victoria already invited me there.  
Fuck it. I still have some time to have fun. _

I opened my eyes. Charles' green eyes were only inches from mine, filled with lust.   
Somehow, I managed to nod.   
Seeing that, a wide, bright smile appeared on his lips, and he kissed me. 

So that's how I ended up on a private jet to Monaco a week earlier than my original plans.


	19. Call you mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, I have a new chapter here. Well practically I'm still writing it but I've realised it's already too long so I now posted a part. I love Monaco, so I'll write long chapters here. I hope you I'll enjoy it as much as I do.  
> Ps. Pardon my French 😏

I could tell Charles was over the moon to spend these few days together. As a first thing, he arranged a private jet for the two of us. I insisted on flying coach, and said I'm totally fine travelling separately, but he didn't even want to hear about that.

"It's much better like this, right?" he asked, and swept me closer to his chest while we flew somewhere over the French coastline.

"Sure," I smiled and looked out of the small window again, to adore the view.

Charles started to fiddle with his phone, but I felt now and then he peeked at me.

"What?" I asked him once, catching him stare.

He smirked and blushed slightly.

"I can't believe you agreed to this," he said with a wide smile and leaned in to kiss me.

I smiled too, but him saying this also got me thinking if this was really a good idea.

I wasn't sure at all.

Since I decided I will accompany Charles to Monaco I've lied again - so many times I've already lost count.

I lied to Max and Victoria when I said they don't have to pick me up from the airport when I come and visit them in Monaco.

I lied to Vicki saying I'll be with my sister in Stockholm.

I lied to my sister about why I'm not calling her for weeks.

_Hey, did you already leave BCN? I had a little too much to drink, but I remember missing you from the party last night!_

I've read Daniel's text over and over again, but I couldn't make myself answer.

If I don't then it's not lying, right?

I closed my eyes and tried hard not to think about Daniel. I was determined to have a good time since I decided to come along with Charles. I just felt like I had to give this a chance whatever is that we have at the moment.

In the end I fell asleep and the next thing I realised was the bump of the plane's wheels hit the ground as we landed in Monaco.

"Welcome," Charles grinned at me. "You will love being here," he said as we gathered our stuff and thanked the staff for their service.

Charles drove to his apartment smiling all the way. He showed me everything that had a name. Every corner, every statue had a story he wanted to share with me. He was cute, so enthusiastic about making an impression.

His apartment was a bit away from the centre, meaning a couple streets above the sea level, on the top floor of an apartment building.

"Welcome home," he kissed me on the corridor. I smirked into the kiss as he pushed me lightly to his front door.

"Just wait please until we go inside, will you?" I teared my lips from his, but that didn't break his enthusiasm, and he started to hint kisses along my neck.

"Charles, really," I sighed, "Open the damn door," I said kind of impatiently.

He finally gave up my teasing and proudly opened his front door.

"Surpriiiiiiseee!" It was the next thing we heard, and about a dozen people jumped out from various hiding places. Some of them had a confused expression as they noticed me, standing next to Charles.

"Merde," I heard him exhale next to me. I glanced at him, and he gave me a dying look. As he turned back to the others, his expression got a bit softer.

"Salut les gars," he smiled. "Quelle surprise!" he exclaimed, but sure the situation felt a bit awkward.

I bit my lips. Fuck. Our quiet, secret getaway suddenly turned to a welcome party with barbecue and frizzante and surely too much posing for Instagram photos.

The closest stood his little brother, Arthur. Charles often posted pictures with him on his social media, so I easily recognised him. He quickly gave a hug to him.

"Arthur, she is Clara," Charles introduced me. A wide grin appeared on his face immediately.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Arthur," the younger Leclerc held out his hand to shake mine. He had the same adorable accent his brother also had.

"I heard a lot about you," he smirked, his statement made Charles snap his head towards us and turned crimson on the spot.

"Arthur, s'il vous plaît," he begged to him, murmuring. "Nous en avons parlé."

Arthur rolled his eyes and turned back to me.

"Sorry, I guess this surprise party wasn't something you planned for today, right?" He asked, still grinning. "Maybe, if Charles would have been so kind and informed us you're coming, then maybe, I wouldn't arrange all of this," he mocked his older brother, earning a deathly stare again.

"I could still send them away," Arthur grimaced and already turned away to make the announcement.

"No, no there's no need," I grabbed his shoulder. They were already here, there was no point in sending anyone away. He nodded and gave me a hopeful smile.

"Ok then, do you want a beer?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Only a bit of water please."

He hurried away for the drinks and I watched Charles chatting to everyone. They mostly spoke French with each other and no matter Charles tried to switch to English so I could understand them, they tended to return to their mother tongue.

Arthur returned and handed me the water I've asked for. I thanked and tried not to notice he was just about to ask me the big question hanging in the air since we stepped in the flat.

"So, are you like, together now?" He asked casually but his curious eyes gave him away.

I bit my cheek from the inside, and suddenly couldn't answer him.

This little excursion to his home country supposed to be about us finding out the answer to such questions. However, now ten minutes after our arrival, I was already chatting with his brother about our relationship. And that made me quite uneasy.

"Well, it's kind of complicated," I said. That made him smirk whatsoever.

"OK, just checking, you know," he grinned and took a sip from his beer.

Later on Charles introduced me to his friends one by one. It was quite strange since most of them were much younger than me and were eyeing me with funny looks. Charles introduced me as his so called friend, but sure they weren't blind and saw us entering the apartment holding hands earlier, so that raised some unasked questions.

Apart from the chit-chat really didn't know what to do. These kids - because they were kids - seemed to have fun around the house, hitting on the drinks and enjoying the music, chirping in French. I had the honour to watch two friends record a tik tok video dancing together in Charles's helmets. I rolled my eyes and finally decided to make a gin and tonic for myself.

"Hey, you are Clara, right?" A guy with bleached blonde hair approached me. I smiled and nodded.

"I'm Hugo," he nodded. "You like Monaco?" He asked, but didn't really seemed to care about my answer since he was checking out another girl's butt while talking to me. I sighed.

"Well, we just arrived, so..." I started, but he waved me down.

"Yeah yeah, everyone loves Monaco. That's why you are here," he winked and opened his arms meaning he was talking about Charles's house.

_What?_

I felt my face turn red and not from being embarrassed but being annoyed.

"No, I'm here because..." I started again - but fuck. I really didn't know why was I here.

I glanced around. Charles was chatting with a couple on the terrace, Arthur was talking with a girl next to them. I didn't want be whining, but if this doesn't end soon, I'd be out of this place.

"Don't worry, Charles has a thing for blondes but he can surely have a little fun with browns every now and then," he grinned again and winked at me.

_What an asshole._

I was so pissed, I couldn't say anything. I looked at the guy angrily but he has already left me to go chat with two other girls.

Fuck this brat. How old is he anyways? Like fifteen? I guess his daddy bought his Armani jeans and probably the Lamborghini too, which was parking down the street. I doubted he managed to finish high school somehow.

I huffed and went to the table to pour myself another drink.

First I thought I won't need one. Funny, how wrong I was.

"What's wrong?" I heard Charles asking me. He came across the room, his face was worried as he watched me gulp down the drink in my hand.

I shook my head and managed to curve my lips to a sad smile.

"Nothing, you just chat around. I'm fine," I said. After all it wasn't his fault, this party. However, I had to realised his friends were the bunch of people whose attitude couldn't be more different from mine.

Only Arthur was kind enough to come and accompany me now and then. He was eager about my job and my way to come in to formula 1.

"That's sooo cool," he said amazed. "So you are working with the worst cases, with patients who are in the worst condition, right?"

I nodded.

"But don't you miss that?" He frowned. "I think I'd miss racing, it's exciting apart from being dangerous, so it makes it a bit similar," he was thinking loudly.

In fact, he was maybe right. Sometimes, I was missing being on call, I missed new assignments and missed to feel the pressure however ill that sounded. I sighed.

"Yes, maybe I miss that," I answered, while my eyes wandered to Charles.

It took the surprise crew to clear up another hour. It was getting dark, and I was feeling annoyed enough to seek shelter in the kitchen.

"Well, this wasn't how I planned the day," Charles sighed after he closed the door behind the last guest.

I made a grimace, couldn't hold it in.

"At least your brother was extra nice with me," I managed to curve my lips into a small smile.

He smirked.

"Yes, he was eager to meet you when I told him about you," he chuckled nervously, then he realised what he said and blushed immediately.

"You told him about me?" I gaped. "Why?"

Charles gulped.

"Well, I really wanted to invite you here, but I wasn't sure you'd come. I had to tell someone my doubts," he explained, running his hand through his hair.

"I see," I nodded.

"But then I was with you and didn't tell him I succeeded, so he thought I'll be very sad when I arrive, that's why he arranged this party with my friends," he continued.

 _God, these assholes were really his friends._ That got me chills.

"Come here, we are alone now," he reached for my hand and pulled me close. He hugged me tight and looked at me with bright eyes.

"I'll make dinner, and you could pack out your bag," he murmured, fixing my lips.

"And where is my room?" I smirked. He frowned and I chuckled, because that was exactly what I expected.

"Your room is my room, and I won't let you leave the bed for the next few days, that is sure," he said seriously.

And he really didn't - at least until the next morning. It really felt nice being with him, I felt easy and cared for.

The morning light was peeking through the curtains, and I felt the light sea breeze on my bare legs so I snuggled closer to Charles to feel a bit warmer. It was still early, at least to start the day we had nothing planned for. I smiled contently and decided to drift back to sleep.

The next thing was I heard some noise coming from the front door. Somebody opened it and come in.

"Charles cher, je suis lá," I heard a woman's voice from the living room.

_What the..._

"Fuck," Charles woke up next to me, and I instantly felt his body go stiff.

"Who's that?" I asked in a whisper. He made a painful grimace.

"That's my mother," he admitted, and got out of the bed to find his boxers. "Stay here," he said and hurried out of the room.

I pulled the blanket on my head. What is wrong here? It supposed to be a secret, quiet couple of days, but then happens this surprise party, and now his mother. What is him? I mean I know, he is 22, but still. _His mother?_

I heard some French talking from the other room, which I couldn't understand a word of. However, Charles appeared in the door after a couple of minutes.

"Clara, my mother... she really wants to meet you," he said, and I could see on his face that he was as embarrassed asking me that as me laying nude in his bed.

"What?" I uncovered my head, and frowned at him. He was already in jeans and a shirt, I guess he changed while talking.

"She won't leave until you don't come out," he said, pleading with his eyes. I sighed, and got up to find a dress.

_It couldn't be more awkward anyway, right?_

"Thank you," Charles smiled at me and gave me a peck on my lips when I was ready.

I stepped to the living room, and a blonde, skinny woman who was sitting on the couch averted her gaze up to look at me. She was dressed up nicely, her hair looked silky and she had that elegance only a few could radiate. She was dressed in all black.

"Good morning," she let her mouth to curve to a small, polite smile. Her accent was also thick like every frenchman's.

"Good morning," I nodded, and shook her offered hand.

"So I see, you are Charles' next girlfriend, I assume," she looked at me behind her glasses.

I felt my stomach twist and I surely turned red. I looked at Charles for help. He was standing next to me and also looked to be in trouble answering.

"Maman, elle n'est pas," he sighed.

"Mais vous etes ensemble ici, non?" She asked, as she removed her glasses and looked up and down on me.

Charles sighed so loudly I could feel him getting angrier by the minute.

"Yes, we are together here. But it doesn't mean it's something for the public," he said, switching to English. He looked at me, hopeless. "We are not a couple, you see?" he added, still watching me. I smiled briefly to encourage him a little.

From then, this awkward conversation turned more tense. Pascalle, Charles's mother was speaking in French while Charles tried to stick with English, undoubtedly to make me a part of the events.

"Magnifique. C'est comme ça que ça se passe de nos jours?" She asked, as she crossed her arms on her chest.

"Well, we still have to work some things out," Charles said.

"Bien sûr, tu fais comme tu veux" she nodded, "Je suis juste inquiet pour toi," she added. That made Charles scoff.

"Mum, this is insane. Clara is not going to make a scandal or whatever you're afraid of," he explained while he ran his hand through his ever-disheveled hair.

"Comment pourriez-vous être si sûr?" she snapped. She was still eyeing me, but surely she asked his son. I only had a hint about what's happening, but I felt a lump in my throat forming, and that made me gulp.

"Because _I_ wanted her to be here, and she barely agreed. And _I_ wanted us to go public and she protested," Charles lost it, and freaked out. I bit my lips, as I saw Pascalle's eyes go wide in surprise. She looked at me like I'm some alien, as she never saw anything like me before. I crossed my arms on my chest, and since I only understood half of their conversation, I decided to fix my gaze on the sea, which I could see from the living room window.

We remained silent for a minute like this.

"Je vois ça," she said, and nodded. I wasn't sure Charles convinced her about anything. Or if so, that would be for the better.

She seemed to have decided to leave, so we said our goodbyes and she headed out.

"Charlene veut te voir," she turned back from the door.

Charles visibly swallowed and nodded.

"Bien," he said, "Au revoir maman," he said as his mother left us and closed the door.

We were left alone and I blinked at him.

_What the hell was that?_

"I am sorry Clara," he hugged me. "My mum didn't take well that I haven't visited her since I'm home," he grimaced, and looked guilty.

I nodded.

Yes, maybe that, but him telling her he's the fortunate one to have me here didn't help. Pascalle looked straight offended at that moment, like I slapped her myself.

"So, would you like to go somewhere?" He looked at me, raising his eyebrows. I frowned, because it was noon and as far as I knew, we agreed on not seeking for public attention.

"Well, I thought since everyone was storming into my flat we could go out," he shrugged.

I bit my lip since I was also keen on discover the city and just casually take a walk. My heart ached for a dip into the sea and for a long stroll along the streets which next week will be closed down for the GP.

But next second I remembered Max, probably being a couple of streets from us, and I didn't want to risk him finding out about us.

Especially not before the most prestigious GP...

"I thought so," Charles said and his disappointed face also made my heart clench.

"Please, try to understand me too," I stepped closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me again and I couldn't bear those puppy eyes anymore.

"OK, we can go out to have dinner," I said.

His lips curved to a wide smile in a millisecond.

"Wonderful," he nodded. "I will ask Arthur to make a reservation so no one will have a clue."

I already picked out my dress and did my makeup when Charles lurked into the bathroom, his phone on his ear.

"I know, I know but why does she want to meet _now_? It's a last minute notification, and that is absurd," he said to someone pretty annoyed. He looked at me pleading with his eyes.

"OK, I know Mia, I'm not angry with you, I just made other plans for the night. However, I can't say no, so I guess I'll be there," he said and hung up.

I looked at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry. It was Mia and she called because apparently, I have to go to have dinner with Princess Charlene," he winced. I gaped at him.

"What? You are going to the Palace to dine with the royals and you are sorry for that?"

He grimaced and stepped closer to swipe me to his arms.

"I've been there several times. Our family has good connections with them. And apparently Princess Charlene picked out this night to talk about the race next week. I tried to reschedule it but no other day works for them," he rolled his eyes.

"Then go, of course. I mean I'm fine here as well, maybe another day..." I nodded.

"Or maybe you could come with me," he smirked but it made me choke on my saliva.

"Fuck Charles, course I'll just run there with you," I scoffed.

"Hey, I tried," he shrugged and started to get ready for his much more formal night than he planned.

Fortunately, next day we had more undisturbed quiet time alone. Well, it meant alone for me. Charles had to got to train with Andrea early in the morning, so I was left alone in the apartment. Honestly, I started to get bored, and I felt a bit like a prisoner.

First, I wandered around the house, but I didn't find my place, so I put on my big sunglasses, decided to sneak out, and discover the neighbourhood.

The sun was shining, the weather was perfect for a stroll in the harbour. I admired the elegant jachts gathering for the GP, along with their owners. The streets were packed with tourists. Some street vendors were already selling merchandise for the GP. I smirked at the mugs with Max's face on them.

Charles was already home when I snuck back.

"Where were you?" he snapped without greeting me. "I was so worried, I was just calling you."

I smiled happily and waved him down.

"I just took a walk, I had to. I sucks, being inside alone," I admitted. I got a look from him that wasn't pleasant to see.

"I know, don't say anything," I told him before he could say anything. I knew he would grab my hand and storm out in this moment if I told him so.

But I couldn't.

We spent the afternoon in relative quiet. In the evening, Charles was playing in his simulator and I was working on the topics of next doctors' training. He was having a game together with Albon, Gasly and Russell and his brother. I didn't hear the others, but I smirked on Charles's loud laughs every now and then. _Boys_ \- I thought and shook my head.

_Hey, what's up?_

I glared at my phone screen. I saw the text was from Daniel.

What is this? It was past 10pm, and we didn't talk for four days. Why does he write now? I swear men has a sixth sense to feel one's found peace for five minutes and they barge in to fuck everything up.

I glanced at Charles. He was grinning, and was totally into playing.

_Nothing much, working on the next FIA training. How's everything there?_

I typed fast. I felt my heart rate shooting up. His answer came in a minute.

_Same old. I was just wondering when are you coming to Monaco?_

I gulped. Of course, he is here as well. I never gave it a thought. I grimaced. Another lie was inevitable.

_Friday! Visiting Max and Victoria before the madness starts._

_Great! Maybe we run into each other then ;)_

I smirked on his answer. I sighed, and tried to suppress the smirk, and the enthusiasm about seeing them in two days.

I decided not texting him more, because I already felt the sting of my consciousness in my chest.

Instead, I opened Instagram to see if Charles was streaming their games. I made sure it wasn't something on camera, then I lurked behind him and gave a seductive kiss on his neck.

He kept his eyes on the road. It was the F1 game, and he was currently second behind Albon.

I bit my lips, and snuck my hand down the front of his shorts, palming his cock. He let out a deep sigh as I started to massage him. I grinned as I saw he closed his eyes for a second. His car went a bit sideways, leaving the ideal line. Opening his eyes again, he watched my hand disappear in his shorts. That was it, his car hit the tyre wall.

"Sorry guys, I need to go... I have a thing," I heard Charles saying goodbye to his friends. I chuckled. Sure, he had a hard on.

"Haha, no I'm going to sleep, it's late," he answered to them, but his weak voice must have given him away.

He said goodbye, and climbed out of his seat immediately, throwing his headphones to the floor.

"God, you are a tease," he murmured. "You even ruined my race."

Before I could say anything he kissed me hard, and soon we ended up in his bed.

"Is that what you wanted?" He asked. I nodded, and raised a bit to help him remove my pants. He smirked, and suddenly, flipped me on my stomach.

"The guys are sure I have somebody here," he whispered and climbed on the top of me.

"I love having you here so much," he breathed out, while grabbing his cock. He made sure he has enough space between my tights to do what he desired. With one gentle swipe of his fingers, he coated the tip with my slick, and lined up to my entrance.

"I might not be able to deny this much longer," he leaned to whisper in my ear. With his next move, he slipped fully inside me and I even forgot he ever said that.

Friday came fast, and I was soon standing in the living room with my suitcase packed again, ready to leave. I already called a taxi to take me to Max's flat. I watched Charles, sitting on his sofa with his arms folded, literally sulking.

"You are impossible," I scoffed. He peeked at me, and sighed.

"I just don't want you to leave. Is that such an unbelievable thing?" He murmured. I rolled my eyes. It was kind of hard for me too, but that was our deal from the beginning. And I wasn't strong enough at the moment to deal with his childishness again.

"Please, think and try to understand my situation, Charles," I said calmly.

He nodded, but I didn't see him getting convinced about anything. So I gave him a bittersweet goodbye kiss and left.


	20. C'mon girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Monaco chapter. Still no race in sight. Or is there? 😏🧐

“Girl, finally!” Victoria opened Max’s door and hugged me. Soon, his brother came to greet me as well with an honest smile on his face.

“Clara, hi,” he hugged me tight. “Come in, and make yourself home.” He took over my luggage, and showed me around the house.

It turned out their mother went back to the Netherlands for the week, so there was only the two of them in that gigantic villa. In fact, that wasn’t far from Charles’s apartment, and that made me feel a sting of guilt. I just felt bad for leaving him pouting and I felt bad for acting here like I haven’t spent the last days in his bed a couple of streets away.

Soon, Victoria made me forget about all that.

“So, I thought we go out to have dinner, how that sounds?”

My stomach rumbled on the thought of some tasty dinner so I nodded enthusiastically.

The three of us had a delicious meal at Max’s favourite place by the sea. The restaurant was full, but we already had a reservation and probably got the best table in the house.

“So I have made some plans already,” Max started proudly putting down his fork. “Tomorrow I have to work out in the morning, but then I can show you around. Maybe you can join me and Jake first, or go out shopping with Vic. And Sunday we can cruise around the bay on the yacht,” he summed up the plans for the weekend.

A huge grin appeared on my face hearing that.

“Sounds perfect,” I nodded. “Almost as perfect as this pasta is,” I added.

We ordered two ridiculously expensive bottles of champagne, since Victoria was insisting on celebrating my arrival.

“To you, _finally_ being here,” she raised her glass and winked at me. I frowned. I wasn’t sure she was just acting funny or tried to refer to something she knew. With that girl you’d never know.

“Cheers,” Max smiled at me and we cling the glasses.

We had a pleasant chat during dinner, and surely we finished the two bottles. Victoria was speaking enthusiastically about her self designed clothing line, and told us all about how she launched the brand. I promised her I’d wear a piece next weekend.

We were already on our way back to the Verstappen house, quite tipsy when Charles called me. I muted my phone quickly, and I typed a text while walking, saying I’d call him later.

“So, this is the Cathedral of Saint Nicholas,” Max spreaded his arms proudly, turning to me. He realised I wasn’t really paying attention but typing fast on my phone. However, his mouth curved to a wide grin.

“So are you already texting each other?” He asked. Now, that made me raise my eyebrows.

“With who?” I asked. He looked at me confused.

“What?” He asked. It seemed like he wished he said nothing at all. He looked at Victoria for help.

“Who?” Now I was lost.

“God, no, _they_ are not texting,” Victoria turned back to us, sounding tipsy-annoyed.

“Why not?” Max sighed and continued his walk. “God, this is so frustrating.”

Honestly, I lost track of their conversation. I had no idea what were they talking about, but I was convinced it was just some drunk double-talk. I peeked at my phone and finished my text to Charles.

The next morning, when I woke up Max was already gone cycling with Jake.

I got ready, and found Victoria sitting in the kitchen, scrolling on her phone.

“Hi,” she greeted me with a smile. “I made you one as well,” she pointed to a pink smoothie waiting for me at the table. I thanked before taking a sip and realised it was really good.

“So, I have to rush out for something,” she said. “But I’m sure you’ll get by.”

“Sure,” I nodded. “Maybe I could use a run as well. Where should I go?” I asked. The Verstappens weren’t much keen on running, and Max was even advised not to push it because of his asthma. Victoria was more into aerobic-like workouts but I guessed she knew the neighbourhood enough to give me some tips.

She had a sip from his coffee and smirked.

“Perfect choice. I think it’s really great to head uphills, because there are fewer people,” she explained, opening the map on her phone. “Just hit promenade du Larvotto and head south, then straight upwards,” she pointed out the route.

In half an hour I was on my way. She was right, the view was amazing, and I’ve met only half a dozen of other runners while running up.

I breathed hard at the top, 5 miles done already. The view was breathtaking from above the city. So I stopped for taking a look around and but my eyes were soon caught upon a familiar figure instead of the panorama.

A certain Australian was stretching by a bench, listening to some loud music on his headphones.

I smirked then I decided to lurk closer to see for sure if it was really him. _Yep._ I still haven’t seen his face, but I saw one of his tattoos on his toned arm. _The same one with the scar I stitched._ I thought it’d be best to run to him and poke my fingers to both of his sides.

“Heeeeeey,” I shrieked as I did so, made sure he hears me through the loud music.

“WOOO,” he shouted as I scared him. I laughed loudly, even my sides were hurt. His face was priceless as he was blinking at me. I scared the shit out of him.

“God, Clara!” He already recognised it was me and finally, a wide smile appeared on his face. "Girl, you got me dead," he whined and I let out a chuckle.

"That was kind of my goal."

He exhaled as he tried to calm down. Soon as he regained his old self he giggled at me.

"See, I said we'd run into each other," he said. “And here we are.”

"I know, what are the odds, right?" I smiled back at him.

"Well actually, here in Monaco you can't really hide. It's a small town, and I run here every morning if I stay here," he explained. That made my smile a bit fade. Good thing to know. Now I felt even more lucky I haven't met anyone in the previous days.

"And what are you doing here? Alone?" He frowned, I just shrugged.

"Max has training, and Vic just had something came up," I explained. "So I decided to have a run."

"Awesome," he nodded proudly, looking at me. "So would you like to join me?"

I blinked.

"You mean running?" I scoffed. "No, there's no way I could keep up," I shook my head and to show my determination, I sat on the bench next to us.

"Oh come on Clara," Daniel didn't accept my answer as a no, and grabbed my hand to pull me up from my seat. "I'm not even in such a good shape," he objected.

_Bullshit. I've seen those abs, mate._

That made me roll my eyes, but he was determined.

"And just remember the last time when I had to drag you along, you had so much fun," he grinned. "Last week, fence hopping, trespassing late night, does that ring a bell?"

I sent him a death stare.

"Yes, do not even remind me of that," I said, but gave in in the end and let him pull me up.

"Finally,” he smirked. “So, we jog back down to the centre and I'm going to show you my favourite places along the way," he said enthusiastically. I nodded as we started to run.

Normally, I hate talking during my workout, especially while running. However now, I catched myself giggling all our way to downtown. I couldn’t decide if he was holding back so I can keep up or he really did enjoy running this slow.

"It's true," he chuckled, "Max is terrified of spiders," he explained. "Once he called me to his hotel room around midnight to kill one in his bathroom."

"He is such a baby," I laughed.

"Yep," he nodded. "Anyways, I saved him. And the spider as well," he added proudly.

"And you, Daniel, are a saint," I said. "For looking after him at hard times like that!"

We both laughed and continued our run along the harbour.

"Oh, I see, Kimi is already here," he said as we reached the dock. I snapped my head up to look around, searching for the Finn.

"What? Where?" I couldn't see him anywhere.

"That's his yacht," he pointed out one of the hundreds. I wasn't sure which one was that so I narrowed my eyes to recognise the Alfa Romeo driver’s boat. Maybe Daniel saw my confusion, that’s why he just leaned forward a bit behind me, stretching out his arms over my shoulder, so my eyes were in a line with his index finger pointing out to the right direction.

I was sure it was a deliberate action of his, but standing like that, I felt him breathing heavily, radiating warmness. And his scent was intoxicating even in the moderate breeze.

"There, you see the kids’ toys on the deck, right?" He even had to murmur in my ear now?

_Damn you, Ricciardo._

"Yeah, I see that." I swallowed and somehow I managed to answer. That was finally enough for him to leave my side, and he started to jog again. I felt lucky to already being red from running so he wouldn’t recognise my ridiculously bad blush.

My legs rooted to the ground as I was thinking about how messed up I was. I just spent several days with Charles and one move of Daniel’s made me forget all about him. _How was that even possible? What is wrong with me?_

"C'mon girl," he shouted at me from 50 meters when I realised he left. I shook my head and quickly catched up to him.

"Ha, it's a song of my favourite band," I mentioned as we switched to a faster pace.

"C'mon girl, let's get it right, let's get it right, let's get it right," he started to sing the song. I gaped at him, and he smirked.

"What? Everyone loves them!" He shrugged.

"You can't. Just can't," I said. It was too much. His scent hitting me hard right in my brainstem, and now he is singing songs I grew up to.

"Everything inside of me is burning up for you to see," However, it seemed like he wasn’t playing fair and kept on singing.

"Shut that mouth, NOW" I kind of giggled-shouted at him, as he sped up and I tried to catch him. 

Of course I couldn't, but we ended up in a chase back to the Casino Square.

"Well, you kept up all right," Daniel praised me in the end. I would have blushed again if I haven't been already red as a tomato, wasn't grabbing my side and fighting for each breath.

"Yeah," I grunted. "At what price?" My heart rate was as high that I would surely treat if I saw that with a patient at the Emergency Department.

"So, would you like to drink something?" He asked. On the thought of some cold beverage I just nodded so fast I nearly teared my neck.

Daniel smiled at me again and again, while he led the way to a little café on a side street. Its terrace was still looking at the bay.

"Wow, how adorable," I looked around as we chose seats.

"Thank you very much," Daniel grinned fake-proudly.

"Haha, I wasn't meaning you," I grimaced but couldn't contain my laugh.

We talked for a while about the upcoming weekend and also about the perks of living in Monaco. I enjoyed it very much maybe that’s why I haven’t realised how awful thunder clouds were gathering above us.

"Ah geez, it's gonna rain soon," Daniel grimaced.

I pouted, because with the Verstappens, we planned to walk around the city centre that afternoon. I guess we should postpone that to another day.

"We should leave then," I suggested resignedly.

"Yeah, I guess so," Daniel sighed. He raised his hand to ask for the cheque.

After paying we left in a hurry, because the thunder approached quickly and the sky was rumbling threateningly.

"God, it was around 30 degrees only ten minutes ago," I complained when I got goosebumps feeling that the spring shower essential wind has arrived.

The rain came only another minute later. I can safely state that it was the heaviest shower I ever experienced so far.

"Oi man, it's looking bad," Daniel freaked out, and we ran to stay under a doorway, which was more or less sheltered us from the thunderstorm.

The streets suddenly became abandoned, everyone disappeared. I saw in the distance that the café's owner we just paid to, took all the tablecloths and menus inside.

"It'd be rough to be out there now," Daniel’s eyes were fixing the dark, wavy sea harbouring not far from us. The yachts were moving up and down in the bay.

"I think they have to check the weather forecast beforehand, don't they?" I frowned, looking up at him.

"Nah," he shook his head. "Look at them, these are only some fancy bungers here!" He grimaced with a smirk that made me chuckle immediately.

"I thought Monégasques are some kind of expertees if it comes to sailing."

"No, they are just rich and own some yachts,” Daniel summed up his opinion resignedly.

“Well, that means we are better here,” I blinked at him and I saw he sank into deep thinking. After a minute, he nodded and averted his gaze at me.

“Honestly, I’m very fine right here,” he said. It wasn’t only his lips curved to a smile, his brown puppy eyes were also radiating some happiness. It appeared to be contagious, as I got lost in his gaze, I also caught myself grinning like a fool.

There we were just standing in that doorway, soaked, in fully wet running gear. I didn’t even wear any makeup, my hair was in a messy bun, and I surely was in desperate need for a shower. Hence I’ve never felt so easy in his presence. Even then, when he was just staring at me. I looked up to him. His hair was even curlier like this wet than normally, and his soaked t-shirt sticked to his chest. The awkwardness that I felt before was nowhere in sight. In spite of not saying anything at all, I felt we were talking for ages. I caught him taking a deep breath when sky rumbled again, and that kind of woke me up from this enchanted state.

As I looked around us I saw it was only dripping, and people started venturing out into the streets.

“Wow, that was fast,” I blinked.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home,” Daniel put his arm around my shoulders and gently guided me in the right direction through the little streets.

It was only a few minutes until we arrived back to the Verstappen house. It was time to say goodbye since he said he had a meeting afterwards.

“Well, thank you for the coffee,” I smiled. “And also for being my tour guide.”

“Anytime,” he winked. “It was truly my pleasure.”

I nodded. And well, there was the awkwardness that I thought we’ve already left behind.

We stood there like there and something was still missing. He should have felt the same, because he sighed long and then scooped me to a hug.

“See you,” I mumbled in the end when he released me.

“Yeah,” he grimaced and waved goodbye.

“Jesus Clara, the Monaco Marathon is in September,” Max welcomed me when I stepped inside. “That was the longest run I’ve ever heard of,” he mocked, lazily lying on the enormous couch in the living room.

“Shut up, I was held up because of the storm,” I explained, while I removed my training shoes carefully at the door not to make everything muddy. “And because of Daniel, who I just happen to meet along the way,” I smirked on the thought of the Australian again.

Max blinked at me.

“What? How did you two meet?” He asked, and threw me a towel I didn’t even ask for.

“I don’t know,” I giggled and wiped my face. “He was just there, stretching on the side of the road. So I scared him so bad he nearly shitted his pants then we raced down all the way back. We saw the Raikönnen yacht, and had coffee afterwards - well just until it started to rain and we were soaked to the bone,” I explained.

Max was looking at me and smirked.

“Great,” he nodded. “I’m happy, it sounds like you had fun.”

“I did,” I answered and decided to head for that much desired hot shower.

For the rest of the day, it was still raining, so we decided to stay in. Max had a conference call with the team about the weekend and then he decided to play a bit online with Lando.

I didn’t care since I had fun just chilling on the terrace with Victoria, having some kick ass margaritas she mixed. Every now and then we heard Max cursing and laughing with his fellow driver.

“Yeah, she’s here,” we heard Max saying as he appeared on the terrace with his phone.

I looked at him, and saw he is recording us.

“Wave to Lando please, he wants to see you,” Max grinned and turned the phone to me. I saw Lando on the screen waving to me.

“Hi, Clara, it’s good to see you,” he said.

“Yeah, same here Lando. How are you?” I asked.

“Never been better,” he nodded. “Look, thank you for your help again, I’ll bring you a present for the weekend, I promise,” he giggled.

“God, why am I not relieved,” I shook my head and let them resume their gaming.

“So you want to talk about either of them?” Victoria asked me when his brother settled back to his racing seat, and put on his headphones.

I drank a bit from my drink, so I could think things through. My stomach still clenched on the thought of opening up about my I don’t know what. _Love life?_

_I’m not even sure there is love. Or where to search for it._

“No, not really,” I shook my head.

Victoria watched me for a moment then nodded.

“As you wish,” she said.

Luckily, next day was hot with perfect sunshine, so after we woke up we headed to the harbour to spend the day on the Verstappens’ yacht. It was more than perfect, laying on the deck, sunbathing.

I heard Max chuckle beside me. I opened my eyes and frowned at him. In the blinding sunlight I was struggling to see him laying beside me. He had his phone in his hands and appeared to be texting someone.

“What?” I asked him. He giggled again.

“Nothing. You’re gonna murder me if I tell you,” he smirked.

“What?” I repeated. Now I was half sitting as this raised my attention.

He glanced at me then sat up and showed me his phone.

He started a clip on Instagram with Lando, who was speaking to Max live on his stream. I figured it was a clip that happened last night. The problem was that Lando asked to see me and then I knew the rest.

"Man, I have to go soon," Max told Lando.

"Why? No, don't go or I will cry," Lando whined. “Also my chat.”

"Actually, I have a guest, a friend of mine over so I have to entertain her," Max explained. "Oh, wait you know her, it's Clara," he said. A wide smile appeared on Lando's face.

"Yeah, I still have to figure out how to thank her…" Lando grimaced. "You know, for saving my life," he giggled and Max joined as well. "So let me say hi to her, please," Lando asked Verstappen.

"Ok, wait a sec," he said.

I could see the chat started to ask who I was, they had no idea if I'm a girlfriend of Max or a love interest of Lando.

_God, these people can't think of anything else?_

_Ha, yeah like you are not very much interested in any of them. Drivers I mean?_

"Fantastic," I grimaced. "You could have told me you are live." I laid back to my back and closed my eyes.

"Yeah, well I didn't know that either. I only assumed, Lando is streaming all the fucking time," Max said.

"So can I post a picture together since they already know about you?" He asked. "Daniel was also curious if he can entertain you since I basically admitted I'm not taking care of my guests properly."

I giggled on the thought, and suddenly felt a calming warmness in my stomach to the mention of his teammate.

"So I sent him a picture about us, chilling together so he is kind of pissed now," he laughed.

"Why is he pissed?" I frowned. Max chuckled and showed me again the screen of his phone. It was the picture he took. There was Victoria and me in bikinis laying on the deck. One could see that he only took the picture to mock somebody. Well, it turned out to be Daniel.

"You look really good on this. So?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"Do what you want," I gave in. "Everyone saw me yesterday on Twitch so I don't really care. Just don't tag me, please," I added. “I don’t want a thousand of bots following my account.

"Tag me instead, my butt looks smoking hot on that one," Victoria murmured from the other side of the deck.

Max smirked and posted the photo, captioning "Skux life chose me". I laughed hard, because the line was from Tupac but also from our favourite movie we watched together one rainy night in London.

I also saw Daniel's immediate comment below that, asking "Why wasn't I invited again?" I smirked and tried to imagine all the laughing I'd had having him around. I sighed and turned on to my stomach to sink into a light nap.

We sailed to a hidden bay and had a little fun jumping from the deck. Max even brought his jetski so he took that out for a few rounds. Only when the sun was already setting, we decided to head back home.

On the way I checked my phone. I didn't realise it went crazy. I got a message from Vicki, saying she arrives tomorrow and she would be calling me again. And I also got a message from Charles.

_God, why does Verstappen have to show you in that bikini on his yacht?_

I scoffed and didn't respond.

The next one was from - I frowned. My uncle.

Christian let me know that he doesn't have a plus one for the Gala on Tuesday night since Geri had to stay home with their son, Monty who unfortunately got the chicken pox. Poor little boy! And poor Geri, I knew she enjoyed staying at the grand prixs with his husband.

She’d be sure to hit the red carpet on the night of the Gala. I’ve heard it is a black tie event hosted by the royal family of Monaco, and hence very exclusive, only a few people get invitations to meet the Prince and the Princess.

However, I was sure I'd never have to dress up and go to there. Of course I didn't even have anything to wear.

On the way home I explained my concerns to Victoria.

"Don't worry I have a few gowns so you can choose," she tapped me on the shoulder. "We'll take care of that," she winked.

Honestly, I had my doubts but I nodded and sent a text to Christian saying that I was in.

A day later I already regretted that.

On Monday morning, we gathered at the paddock for our first team meeting. I arrived with Max, and we had our seats next to a still empty pool, which was just installed for the Energy Station.

Daniel arrived a little later, and his first thing was to squeeze himself to sit between me and Vicki. 

“G’day girls,” he grinned. “Thank you for saving me this spot,” he settled comfortably. I snorted and exchanged a look with Vicki, silently saying that we’d talk later.

“Welcome to everybody,” Christian soon stood up and started his talk, and then continued for the next half an hour.

I zoomed out, and didn't pay any attention to what my uncle was saying. It was probably the same as before every race - we have to give our best and hope for a win. Plus again, my nose was full of Daniel's smell. Again. Why does he have to sit right next to me?

"Clara..."

"Clara."

"Clara!"

"What?" In the end, he had to put poke me a bit to make me recognise he was actually whispering to me.

I looked at him, frowning.

"So, there's the Gala Dinner tomorrow, and I thought," He mumbled something which honestly I could hear absolutely nothing from.

"What?" I asked again.

"Clara please, stay quiet and don't divert our driver's attention," Christian scolded me. I said sorry and blushed. I felt like a schoolgirl again, who just got caught speaking during class, and in the end I wasn't even the one who started it.

Anyway, his comment about me diverting the attention of Daniel was somewhat true, since the Australian driver was still watching me grinning.

I poked my finger to his side, to stop him and let out a shy smile. _Dork._

"So, I thought," he turned to me again after the briefing was finally over. "That you could come with me to the Gala?" He kind of asked but immediately he realised that wasn't the most appropriate choice of words.

"I'm sorry, I mean I'd be honoured to have you as my plus one for the Gala Dinner, Clara," he said a bit more theatrically but with the same shy smirk hiding in the corner of his lips.

I looked at him, and bit my lower lip. _Fuck._

_I mean, fuck._

"It's OK, I can take rejection," he hurried to say, but his voice got so much higher. "I mean I can drown myself in my tears," he said as he scanned my suffering expression.

"No, I mean I'm sorry," I mumbled. "But I just agreed to my uncle's invitation."

Daniel pouted but in his eyes I saw some signs of relief.

"God, that man just knows his shit, I have no idea how he always gets the best sheilas," he wondered and I bursted out in laughing.

"I'll let Geri know you fancy her," I winked.

"Well I guess English girls are my weakness," he grinned. I didn't know if he was just messing around to make me smile, but I felt my cheeks burning up hearing his comment.

"Anyway, I guess I'll see you there," he said, as he squeezed my shoulder gently, and hurried away to join Aurelie who was already waiting for him patiently in the background. 


	21. Rescue me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, happy weekend to everyone!  
> Seems like I've failed miserably to write real chapters, so I just update at this point and promise to bring the next bit sooner than a week.  
> Tension is rising slowly, and I just hope you'll like it all in the end 🙄😏

“Victoria,” I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror and pouted. “I mean it’s wonderful, but I'm sure it’s a bit much,” I smoothed down the bottle green coloured silk of the amazing dress I was wearing. The colour matched my eyes, and the elegant fabric hugged my curves with a gentle touch.

“There’s no way I’d parade in this up and down,” I shook my head.

Victoria was in her underwear, loosely put a lace bathrobe on, and was casually smoking a cigarette while sitting in her wardrobe window. She looked at me, slowly moving her eyes up and down, and then nodded.

“You will. It’s perfect,” She summed up her opinion, and hopped down to leave for the bathroom.

“Wouldn't be a simple, less formal-ish dress enough?” I tried for the last time.

I really liked the dress she offered me to wear at the Gala Dinner organised at the Palace of Monaco, but I’ve never in my life worn a ball gown, especially not as expensive as this one. I just tried to ignore the tag when I put it on, but now, I felt the letters of Versace burn into my back. I wasn’t sure what I agreed to.

Victoria snapped her head, and diverted her route to step outside to the living room.

“Hey Max,” she shouted out to his brother, who was playing for - I think - the third hour on his playstation, still wearing only his boxers. He teared his gaze away from the screen, and looked back to us.

“What?” He whined. “There’s still like four hours till the party starts,” he said. “Have you already started to get ready?” He grimaced.

His sister didn’t seem to hear his complaints, because she just opened the door wider.

“Would you explain to Clara that this, and only this would be the appropriate piece clothing for tonight?” She couldn’t have sounded more annoyed.

Max lifted his eyes to me, and he blinked. Then he blinked some more.

“Wow Clara, it’s so fair you never wear something like that,” he said in the end. I bursted out laughing.

“What?” I asked. “Look Victoria, I told you it’s not right,” I looked at the younger Verstappen, but she just rolled her eyes.

“No no no, it’s really…” Max was searching for the right word. “Hot on you.” Well, he didn’t find it. Now, Victoria was already laughing too.

“Max, I’m not surprised you always have trouble flirting,” she scoffed. That comment reached its purpose and the Dutch driver blushed from his head to toe.

“So, guys is this really necessary?” I asked.

“YEAH,” both of the siblings answered in synchrony. I sighed, and accepted the fact, that in the next couple of hours I’d be feeling like an over decorated muffin, and I won’t even go to the loo, so I wouldn’t ruin this marvelous dress by any chance.

After Max managed to find his tuxedo and got ready in ten minutes, we were good to go.

We took one ride together to the Palace, Christian picked us up from the Verstappen Villa with a Red Bull minivan.

“Thank you for inviting me,” I told my uncle as a first thing when we sat inside the car, but he just waved me down.

“It’s OK Clara, you helped us a lot,” He gave a side look to Max.

The boys both wore a tuxedo, only Max’s was greyish blue, not dark grey as my uncle’s. Victoria was scrolling on her phone, wearing a beautiful canary yellow dress.

“And I also thought it’s something you might enjoy,” he added. I nodded and looked out the window to admire the Palace of Monaco. The egg shell white building was lit up, and it looked magical. Just looking at it made me smile. A strong urge raised inside me to march inside and wander through its halls, and discover its secrets and history.

“God, I hope they have those mini sandwiches with crabs like last year,” Max’ head appeared beside mine in the window. I gave him a side glance, but he only smirked, and raised his hand to waved to the crowd gathered at the entrance.

The night seemed like more of an official show off than a welcome party from the Monacan Royal House, but it was beautifully organised. The decoration was stunning, the lights were blinding and the women wore dresses that made mine a very solid one. I think all the drivers were there and of course the leaders of the teams along with many celebrities and the elite of Monaco.

Daniel was the first familiar face I saw, surely because he was already waiting for us at the entrance.

He wore a dark blue tuxedo and his hair was not a complete mess for the first time I knew him. I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not that way. Suddenly, I had a strange urge to dig my fingers in his hair and run through those curly locks to set them free.

I smirked that matched his ever growing smile.

“God,” he said instead of saying hello. His eyes were scanning me up and down, and I was starting to feel uneasy. I blushed in his presence - again.

“Hello Daniel,” I greeted him.

He also shook my uncle’s hand, but the team principal was called away after a brief minute by none other but Chase Carey. He excused himself, and left us alone.

Daniel smirked at me, but seemed to not find the words.

_Please, don’t let this be awkward again between us!_

I smoothed my hand down my dress again, just to do something. Daniel sighed and ran his hand through his hair, looking around the room.

“I wasn’t expecting to be this embarrassed,” he giggled nervously. His smile was still adorable. “I mean look at you,” he looked down to me again, but said nothing to specify. He shook his head, and was still grinning.

“I just can’t,” he murmured. I couldn’t do anything else but smile and bit the inside of my cheek.

“Well, thank you, I guess,” I murmured. I really got lost in his puppy brown eyes, which were so bright in those lights.

“Hello,” I heard a very - _very_ \- familiar voice. I’ve heard this voice before, much closer, whispering in my ears during steamy nights.

I only have to turn an inch to face Charles.

He - too - looked stunning in his black tuxedo. His green eyes were jumping between Daniel and me.

“Hi Charles,” Daniel greeted him with his signature wide smile. It wasn’t really returned, as the young Monégasque only nodded at him briefly, as he wasn’t even there. He held a glass of champagne in his hand, and he sipped a bit from that, then he looked at me.

“Uh,” Daniel seemed to be still trying to initiate a conversation. “Let me introduce you to my favourite running partner, Clara Horner,” Daniel giggled, and gestured to me.

_God._

I wished the earth would just open and I’d get swallowed by a bottomless hole.

Charles looked at me like if he couldn’t decide whether to kill me or Daniel. First. His eyes narrowed and I even noticed his nostrils flare.

“Haha, I mean she’s Red Bull’s new team doctor,” Daniel continued but Charles was still looking at me, and said nothing. Maybe that was reminding Daniel to the fact, that -

“Hey, you two have already met!” He remembered, giggling happily. “At Carlos’ party, what a night, right?!”

Charles gave him a side glance that was _very_ far from friendly.

“Yes, we’ve met.”

God, this dress was too tight. Or the Monaco Palace was unnecessarily overheated for being the end of May. Or I had a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Who knows.

The uneasiness was so palpable between the three of us, but only Charles and I knew the exact reason for that.

I felt dizzy and I literally looked around for help.

And there he was, approaching from the direction of the bar, with a whiskey in his hand - the Dutch ray of hope, Max Verstappen. He saw us and seemed to hurry to the help of his teammate.

“Hello Charles,” he said, there was not even a pinch of enthusiasm in his voice. The Monegasque returned the gesture likewise.

“Max,” he nodded as a greeting.

“What were you chatting about? Rear right punctures?”

_Jesus Max, I kind of liked you because of that bold honesty and bitter humour but that maybe was way over the line._

Of course he had to throw in the memory of Charles’s miserable race last year.

Charles visibilly clenched his jaw to the mention of his unfortunate Monaco Grand Prix.

“Yeah, kind of,” he said so and gave me a last look of disappointment. “But just for you to know, things seem to change this year for the better,” he said on a serious tone, addressing his words to Max.

“Excuse me,” he nodded goodbye, and left the three of us to leave and start to chat with Princesse Charlene.

“The fuck was this,” Daniel summed up the last five minutes.

“Just Leclerc fucking around, don’t bother yourself,” Max waved him down.

Daniel looked at him, than me. He furrowed his brows and was clearly thinking.

“Yeah, but he was like,” he started. “I’m not even sure,” he finished without really saying what was on his mind.

“He was like he had a stick up his ass,” Max summed up his opinion on the subject.

I really started to feel sorry for Charles. He was not acting fair with coming to us and being an ass, but he didn’t deserve Max’ burning comments. Clearly, they had some shared history that made their relationship like that way. But that made my heart clench even harder.

After everyone seemed to have arrived the greeting speeches started. Prince Albert and Princess Charlene, than Jean Todt spoke a few words. In the end, they wished a joyful evening for everyone.

We were seated at circle tables which looked nice but was impossible to speak other than your direct neighbours.

I sat between Christian and Victoria. We had Max, Daniel and Adrian, his wife and their daughter at our table. We had a pleasant chat, until Christian turned to me over dessert and his second glass of chardonnay.

"So, I thought you fancy Max," he smirked and discreetly tilted his head towards his Dutch driver. 

I snorted, and was even tearing up because my champagne went straight up to my nose.

_Bloody hell, now where does this come from?_ I looked at my uncle, frowning.

"No, no, and no. My god, I like him very much. But we are really good friends, nothing more," I explained, but his expression wasn't convinced at all.

"Uh OK, if that's what you think of it," he winked.

I sighed. I prayed for some fresh air after this conversation, but none was finished and it seemed to be rude to stand up before the end of dinner.

I looked around in the room. On the opposite side of the table Daniel was sitting, he was chatting with Adrian and Max passionately. Maybe it was about work, because Max was showing some racing maneuvers with the movements with his hands. Daniel glanced up and when our eyes met he let out a cheeky grin.

Not far from us was the Ferrari-Alfa Romeo table. I saw Vettel and Kimi talking quietly, and also Charles who was just sitting there, drinking a glass of champagne. I was sure that was a different one from the one before.

After a minute, Princess Charlene appeared at their table, walked straight to Charles and whispered something in his ear.

I scoffed. I think she made it _too_ clear who was her favourite driver.

The next moment both of them stood up and Charles led the Princess through the room to the dance floor. The band started to play a slow, kind of romantic song and the pair swayed to the gentle tones.

Everyone watched them in awe. The princess undeniably looked stunning in her white ball gown with her sparkling tiara. And her partner, the even more handsome Charles was leading her proudly.

His previous moody look was nowhere to be seen at that moment. In fact he looked proud and dashing.

I guess the Princess must have had the same opinion because she watched him without even blinking once.

_Protocol duty. My ass._

"Come on, I think that means we have to dance," my uncle put down his napkin and stood up, reaching for my hand.

I nodded and we joined the gathering couples on the dance floor.

"How is Monty?" I asked as he led me around the room.

"Better," Christian smirked. "I guess his biggest concern is that he can't meet his friends from school."

"I see," I giggled. "Missing school would be devastating news at 5 years old. So much social duties."

When the song was over, the couples stopped dancing, mostly leaving the floor or switching pairs.

"Thank you for the dance. I don't think we had this much fun since our holiday in Zermatt," my uncle bowed and I smiled happily on the thought of our family memories from at least 15 years ago.

"Oh I remember crying on the middle of the slope for a rescue," I nodded. "And you came."

"Sure I did," he laughed.

We heard a little cough behind us. It was Daniel lurking to our direction.

"Clara," he smiled at me. "Christian," he nodded at his boss. "Clara, would you mind another dance? With me?" He even blushed during asking the question.

"Sure," I nodded.

Daniel inhaled deep, and took my hand to lead me to the middle of the dance floor. We stopped there and inhaling deep, he slipped his hand on my waist, with the other one still holding mine.

"I think it goes like that," he looked down, and stepped a bit closer. I recognised how firmly he holds me, in spite of being so shy. As we started to dance the silly grin slowly disappeared from his face. He looked down to me, and maybe the first time we've known each other his eyes almost looked serious.

I looked up to him, and for a few moments, none of us were spoke.

"You are beautiful, Clara," he said out of nowhere after a minute.

My eyes went wide, and I gulped. I felt my heart race, hammering hard in my ears, as I tried to process what he’s just told me. But he didn't stop at that.

"And hey, I'm not saying this just to compliment you with some empty words." He said.

_God, I didn't know this guy can be serious for more than 3 seconds. And we already passed that._

"I mean that," he added I'm sure just to make me blush more.

"Thank you, Daniel," I mumbled.

He was smiling at me again, which made me feel a bit easier.

We danced for a couple of songs and then agreed to leave the dance floor for some refreshments.

With our drinks we joined Max and Victoria at our table. They had a chat with Christian and - for my surprise, FIA doctor David Conrad.

"Hey," Max grinned at us as we took a seat. We joined the conversation about the awesomeness of the Red Bull Energy Station extras for Monaco. Max was convinced we'd get adult sized red bull can shaped mattresses to float around in the pool.

"Awesome," Daniel giggled. "I wouldn't miss those when I dip in again after my win."

We joined him in laughing, but Max hurried to ensure him about his own aspirations about winning.

“So Clara, are you excited for your weekend duties?” Dr. Conrad asked me. An honest, wide grin appeared on my face.

“Sure, I can’t wait,” I nodded.

I noticed, that Max and Daniel exchanged a meaningful look.

“But it’s just for the weekend right?” Max asked Dr. Conrad. “I’ve heard some guy got sick and Clara only has to substitute him for the race - working for FIA?” His voice was his oh-so-usual annoyed-sarcastic one.

David blinked at him, kind of surprised.

“It’s right Max, but I can assure you…” he started, but Max cut in.

“Oh no I’m more than positive about Clara being the most suitable person for the job, but you know she is my doctor, so…” he continued his huffishness.

Dr. Conrad half smiled and looked at Christian for help.

“Come on Max, I gave my full permission for Clara to work for FIA. And not a last thing to consider, she wants all this, right?” He turned to me.

_Thank you, finally they realised I’m actually there._

“Yes,” I said seriously, looking at both of the drivers. “Actually, David, would you like to dance?” I asked the FIA head doctor, just to mock them.

“I’d be an honour,” he answered, and took my hand to leave to the dance floor.

“Clara, you are lucky to have such a concerned gentleman on your side,” he winked at me when we started to dance. I snorted, because after my uncle he was the second person to comment on my relationship with Max that night.

I mean I kind of hoped everyone knows about and approves our friendship already.

“Yes, we are good _friends_ ,” I tried to emphasise the word, just to let him know where we stand.

Fortunately, he nodded, and diverted the topic to our duties for the weekend.

After a couple of minutes, I saw Charles walking over to us.

“Mr. Leclerc,” David nodded at him with much respect in his voice.

“Dr. Conrad,” Charles smiled, and shook his hand. “Good to see you.”

“Likewise,” he answered.

“Would you mind if I steal Clara for a dance?” he asked, but his eyes were already on me.

Shit, he is doing this on purpose. We were in the middle of the dance floor, and David was already patting his shoulders proudly, and leaving us.

He took me in his arms, holding me close, like it was a familiar thing of ours.

I mean it was, but he should have acting like it wasn’t. Or I don’t know, maybe not dance at all? I didn’t dare to look in the direction of our table to see if the others have already noticed us or not.

“Hey, I can at least get a dance, right?” He murmured in my ear. I looked at him.

“Well, _we’ve met_ ,” I quoted his words from not long ago and gave him an accusing look.

He scoffed.

“You can’t blame me, Clara, basically the whole Red Bull team came against me” he gave me a look.

“And what was exactly that thing again? You go run with Daniel?” He frowned.

I knew I’d never get away with that. I rolled my eyes, because I really didn’t see anything wrong with that.

“We met by accident,” I said. “And he is my friend, I’ve said it before,” I explained. He didn’t look convinced.

“You know I saw you with him at the entrance and only could think about kissing you right there,” he looked at me with a serious expression.

“You know, I want to tell everybody that you’re…” he stopped, and clearly was thinking about how to finish that sentence.

As he seemed to come to a decision he inhaled deep, and leaned a bit closer to my ear.

“I want you for myself,” he whispered, and I felt a stroke of shiver running along my spine. He turned with me, and slipped his hand slightly lower on my back.

“I could take you home right now,” He was again, gazing my lips. He was so close, I was sure it wasn’t looking like we were just in the middle of a protocol dance.

I was getting afraid that people were noticing us.

“Charles,” I started, and seeing his nose flare I knew this won’t lead us to anything good. _God, that look of his._

“I’m missing you like crazy,” he breathed.

“Charles, please, we can’t,” I protested with despair. He inhaled deep, and looked away, fixing a spot behind me.

“Please, don’t be like this,” I told him, begging. He scoffed again and refused to look at me until the end of the actual song.

“Well, thank you for the dance,” he nodded, and simply turned away to head outside. I blinked a couple times, just tried to process what happened. I didn’t know what to do.

I felt he wasn’t playing fair. But maybe neither was I.

I shook my head, and after making a little detour to dissolve any attention, I followed him.

At the back entrance, I’ve found him leaning to the railing of a beautiful staircase, his arms crossed on his chest. I approached him carefully.

“I’m so sorry about this,” I said quietly. “But what should I do?” I asked. He raised his head, and looked at me. His eyes were full of hurt and sadness.

“I don’t know, maybe, let me in to your life?” His hurt words made my stomach clench. “Clara, have you ever consider that?”

I bit my lips. My heart was aching so bad for him. But my brain already knew all the answers to that question, since I asked the exact same thing hundred times before from myself.

Yes, I _did_ consider that, Charles.

“Look, it’s so complicated,” I sighed, and I really wanted to explain him my points, which I carefully I gathered during sleepless nights. But I could see in his eyes, that he doesn't give a shit about my scientifically well established excuses.

“Well, it is only you who makes this complicated,” he winced. He didn’t give me a chance to finish, he shook his head sadly, and walked inside.

I just stood there, and I didn’t know what the hell happened.

Did he just break up with me?

_You fool, that conversation was exactly about you not being together. How would he break up then?_

I sighed.

I guess the perfect dress, the perfect night, perfect location doesn’t mean anything.

_Fuck all of this._

_Now, why does my eyes tear up?_

_Shit._

I felt so helpless. I blinked a couple times rapidly, just to suppress the tearing that seemed to be inevitable.

I only knew I had enough of this place, and wanted to go home.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, and decided to call Victoria, to ask her to give me her keys, so I could head home discreetly.

“Is this about him?” This was all she asked.

“Well, yes,” I admitted quietly.

“Ok, wait a sec,” she said and hung up. I waited a couple of minutes, when somehow Daniel appeared, holding Victoria’s keys in his hand. I frowned at him.

“What are you doing with that?” I asked. He held up his hand to silence me.

“I promised Vic not to ask anything. Just come, I’ll take you home,” he said calmly.

I was still frowning, but followed him outside. He was heading for the taxis, but I felt more frustrated than taking a cab.

“Uhm, Daniel,” I mumbled. “Maybe, we could walk?”

He turned back, with a questioning look on his face, but after a second it was gone. Maybe he remembered his promise to Victoria about asking no questions.

“Sure,” he nodded simply.

We walked on quiet, side streets, hardly anyone was around. We didn’t talk at all. The night wasn’t chilly, however I felt a bit cold. Maybe it was because of my strapless gown, or maybe because of my freezing heart.

“Here, take this,” Daniel said quietly, and put his suit on my shoulder. I looked at him thankfully.

We walked side by side to the Verstappen house. There, Daniel opened the doors, and let me in. I was thankful for him really not asking questions, but on the other hand I felt terrible, making him miss the party.

“Hey Daniel, thank you so much for walking me home,” I said as we entered the living room. “You really should go back, maybe you haven’t missed much yet.”

He stopped and looked at me.

“I haven’t missed anything,” he stated, and sat down on the couch. “Look I was there before, several times. It’s the same thing every year, and to be honest, that’s all too fancy for me anyway,” he chuckled. I managed to give him a half hearted smile.

“Well, thanks,” I hopped down next to him. “Or you should thank me for rescuing you from such a shitty party?” I gave him a side glance. He was grinning at me and nodded.

“Yeah, I guess,” he answered. Then, a brief silence fell between us. I sighed, as the heavy feelings sunk in again.

“Clara,” Daniel began, very carefully choosing his words. “If you want to talk about anything, maybe I can listen. I usually give rubbish advices, so you shouldn’t take whatever I say but I can be an excellent audience,” he said.

I smiled at him. He was adorable as he tried to help, hence still not breaking his promise to Victoria. He also knew that would get back to her and then god knows what would happen.

“Thanks,” I said again. “But you can’t really help,” I pouted.

_Well, unless…_

_No. Clara, that is not happening._

_You are in deep shit as it is, already._

“Anyways, this couch is still so fucking comfortable,” he switched the subject, and settled in a more comfortable position, half burying himself to its pillows.

“Yes, Max is always napping here,” I mentioned.

“That guy knows something, I’m always saying that,” he chuckled.

I watched him and realised, he was planning on staying. And I didn’t have the strength to argue again.

That couch was in fact, really comfortable. I leaned to my side, put my head on my arms and soon, I fell asleep. 


	22. Burn the house down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's my birthday so what else to do than update? 🤩🤗
> 
> Also, shit is just about to hit the fan.🤫

I honestly had no idea how the Verstappens snuck home at the middle of the night, and still succeeded in not waking us up. 

When I opened my eyes I realised I'm snuggled next to Daniel. It was the second night I slept next to him in this short time and both times I was pretty worn out, and squeezed, but somehow still felt calmed down and secure. 

Now as I looked at the peacefully sleeping Australian and felt truly grateful for him being there for me yesterday. I smiled because I noticed his disheveled hair and his peaceful expression with his slightly open mouth. He was snoring quietly and that made me giggle. 

I blinked around, and checked the time on my phone. It was 6:35.   
No missed calls, no new messages, not even a fucking email.

I gazed down to the now crumpled green dress which I was still wearing, and it made all the bitter memories of last night flashing back to my mind. I sighed as my heart filled up with heaviness. 

I gathered all my skills to climb from the couch as careful as possible, without waking Daniel up. I wasn’t in the mood for a morning chat, not like this, and even without getting a shower or a coffee. 

Somehow I managed to leave the couch, and I went into the guest room, what I got as my own for that weekend. I showered, and changed to my Red Bull outfit. In two and a half hours I supposed to host our second training with the FIA. 

Then I snuck into the kitchen, and tried to make some coffee without waking anyone up. I only made one for Victoria and one for myself, hence the boys didn’t drink any coffee. Weirdos. 

I was already sipping on my second espresso when I heard some slow shambling from the corridor.   
Soon, a very sleepy Max appeared in the doorway with his blonde, destroyed-by-a-pillow hair, scratching his abdomen lazily. 

“Hey,” he groaned. “Are you OK?” he looked at me sleepily but still with some concern.   
“Yes,” I lied. I must have been convincing because he smirked, and came closer reaching for me.   
“Come here,” he pulled me in a tight hug. He held me close for a minute, and that alone made me feel much, much better. 

I've decided as always - to bury myself into work, so I didn't have to deal with the reality. 

I snuck out, to walk to the Paddock, leaving Max to have breakfast alone and also didn't say goodbye to Daniel. Well, he was still asleep anyway, already hugging a giant pillow tightly in his sleep. 

At least the weather was good, perfect excuse for wearing my sunglasses to hide my dark circles under my eyes.   
I headed straight to the FIA building, to find Dr. Conrad.   
"Good morning Clara," he greeted me with a friendly smile when I arrived to his office. "What a party, right?" He winked at me. "I hope you rested well?"   
I guess he was convinced that I spent the night with Max, having wild sex so that's why I looked like shit.  
"I'm fine," I more like grimaced than smiled. "Let's have this training settled, shall we?" I suggested, so we left to get prepared for the training.

At least that was fun. This week's topic was about major bleeding management. We installed several scenarios, and also used some fake blood to make it more believable.   
The teams did well, that's why I didn't understand David's frowning when he approached me at the end of the session. 

"Uhm Clara," he cleared his throat. "Do you have some clothes to get changed?"   
Now, it was my time to frown.   
"No," I said. "Why?" I asked, and automatically looked down on my shirt.   
At once, it was clear why he asked that.   
I helped a lot, managing the scenarios, so my shirt had several fake-blood patches all over.  
"Fuck," I winced. Then I realised it's Dr. Conrad I'm talking to. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just," I opposed, but the German traumatologist already had his lips curved to a cheeky smile.   
"Well, if you don't want to shock everyone out there, then wear something over that shirt, I suggest," he winked. 

So I left to hurry to the Energy Station where I was supposed to have coffee with Vicki 20 minutes ago. I had my raincoat with me, so I put that on and hurried down the paddock. 

As I arrived to the Red Bull cafeteria Vicki jumped up happily to greet me, but as she noticed my shirt, she literally screamed.   
"Wow, it's ok, shush," I waved her down. Her face went white, and I couldn't stop laughing.   
"FIA training. Second scenario, femoral artery bleeding. Fake blood. Don't ask anymore, I'll got get changed, just one sec," I jabbered.

I crossed the road and entered our garage to cross and head to our office.   
I just passed the driver's rooms when I heard Daniel's muffled voice. He was talking to Michael. I haven't realised it's that late - probably they are already finished with the interviews and now back for their usual stretching.   
I swear I only stopped because Daniel's voice felt so troubled.   
"I don't know man, she was so sad I just wanted to comfort her and not push anything," he said.   
"Hey, just find your balls and ask her out already. Geez, you have to act before it's too late," Michael scolded him annoyed. "Squat lower," he added. "Are you sure she' seeing someone?" The Australian trainer asked suspiciously.  
A low grunt was the only answer and I knew I should leave. But my legs simply didn't work and my mind was racing with crazy thoughts. 

Are they talking about me? God, if they are, then it means…  
My heart and my stomach just switched places. I gulped and managed to make one step further down the corridor when they started to talk again. 

"I don't know. I have a bad feeling about that. I'm afraid she already has someone and I missed my chance you know?" He grunted again. "Things with Gemma ended a long time ago, and haven't met anyone since that made me feel like now. So I think I'm just terrified to make a move," Daniel continued. "You know, not to mess things up this time."  
"Daniel Ricciardo, you look like a piece of cake, have millions of fans around the world and you are afraid to ask a girl out?" Michael mocked him. "Do ten more of that, only with your hands up."  
"Well, she is not like other random girls, and you know that," Daniel sighed.   
"Yeah, you must have mentioned that before," Michael answered tiredly. 

Ok, it was too much, I had to leave that place. I finally defroze and ran down to the medical room where I remembered I had some spare clothes. I put on a top and a pink sweater. 

Fuck, what if Daniel and Michael were talking about me? And he maybe knows about me and Charles...

Only thinking about that made me panic. I never thought of the real possibility of them finding out about us. I can't let that happen, like ever. No matter if Daniel likes me or not, him and especially Max - Jesus Christ, Max! - could never know.

Now that and the events of last night made me sure about that we can't continue messing around with the young Ferrari driver.

Before leaving, I checked myself in the mirror, wearing that pink sweater and suddenly a bittersweet memory flashed back to my mind.

I handed him the phone. He took it, but he grabbed my hand as well.  
“Nice shirt,” he smirked at my pink sweater. “I like it so much better than the Red Bull one beneath it.” Oh my god, is he really watching my breasts?  
I rolled my eyes, and freed my hand from his before anybody sees us.   
“Clara you really look good,” he said before he put his helmet on. “I want to kiss you so bad now.”

Fuck. It's not even that cold. I got off the sweater, tossed it to the corner and hurried back to the cafeteria. 

"So how does the living together works out?" I asked Vicki after I ordered my regular black espresso.  
She smirked, and I could see that was the question she was waiting for.   
"It's amazing," she smiled. "Everything was so smooth. Jake helped with the moving. And he is so supportive about me working all the time.”  
"I'm so happy for you," I smiled at her. She looked fine, and content. I honestly cheered for her and Jake to find their happiness together, no matter how miserable I was on that front. 

“Hey Clara,” We heard a happy shriek not far from us. I snapped my head to the direction of the whiny noise, and I could see Lando approaching us.   
“Hello there,” I smiled back. He greeted Vicki as well, and gave me a big orange bag.  
“What’s this?” I frowned. Lando giggled, and slightly blushed. He was truly adorable, so young and cheeky.   
“You know, I promised a little present,” he said, and peeked inside the bag himself as well.   
“This is from Carlos also,” he added.   
I checked the bag, and pulled out an orange-grey jumper, a shirt, a raincoat and even a baseball cap. It was sweet, but what on earth should I do with all that?  
Vicki was giggling next to me.   
“Lando, you know I can’t let this happen, right?” She shook her head.  
From nowhere, Carlos also appeared next to Lando.   
“This,” he pointed at me. “Is how you should dress,” he stated almost accusingly, and after letting out a smile, he continued his walk towards the McLaren hospitality.   
“Anyway, thanks again,” Lando jabbered, and looked like he needed to hurry as well. He waved to us, and ran after his teammate. 

Vicki turned to me after they left.   
“You can’t wear that,” she said. “That’s treason!”  
I smirked.   
“You know, I don’t work now,” I smirked. “And I’m cold anyway.” I shrugged. Without that sweater I felt a bit chilly in the breeze. I put on the McLaren jumper, and it fitted perfectly, nice and snug.   
“Wonderful,” I leaned back in the chair.   
“I don’t know you,” Vicki grimaced. 

However, I had to change for my Red Bull uniform as in the afternoon I had an official introduction at the FIA headquarter. Working amongst the staff of the organising body meant all the teams and directory staff have to be familiar with you. Being a field doctor meant you are potentially saving their lives so knowing your name would be a nice touch. Dr. Conrad mentioned that before during the training, but I didn’t care much about that.

What he forgot to add, was that I had to attend the grand meeting with him, sitting through both the team principals discussion and the drivers meeting. 

Fuck.  
That was all I could think about when David smiled at me and said we have 5 minutes until to the first meeting. 

Good thing was usually my mind switched to autopilot when I got to handle a stressful situation, so I just did what I had to do.   
Before that, I felt near to fainting, I started to sweat and I felt my heart racing fast.   
“After you,” David nodded, and opened the door. All the ten team principals were in there, and maybe another ten from the chair of Formula One and Liberty Media.  
I think all of them turned to our direction.   
“Ah, David,” Jean Todt smiled at Dr. Conrad. Then, averted his gaze to me.   
“And here is our newest colleague, Dr. Horner, if I am not mistaken,” he said.   
I nodded.   
“Dear friends, let me introduce you to Clara Horner, who was kind enough to jump in for the weekend as the deputy head doctor,” he gestured towards me. Now, really everyone was watching me.

The situation was quite different at the driver’s meeting. The atmosphere was less formal still, not less tense.  
We were sitting at the back, but as the guys arrived, more or less everyone waved or said hi in some form which felt nice. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Max asked, and immedoately took the seat next to me. 

“Hello, Clara,” Sebastian greeted me. He came with Kimi who also nodded to my direction. I wasn’t sure if he looked at me, because he was wearing his sunglasses even in the room.  
  
“Clara, where is your merch?” Lando smirked, as he squeezed himself between Russell and Albon in the row in front of us.  
  
Charles was the next who arrived. He noticed me instantly, his eyes went wide. I think I haven’t mentioned him my “promotion”. I could see him stopping for a second, but then he decided to turn away and sit in the front row right in front of Todt. 

Daniel was the last one to arrive. He was grinning as always, but his smile became even wider when he waved to me.   
“Hey, do you get introduced?” he asked. “There is no need, everyone knows you,” he said kind of proudly.   
“Well,” I started smiling, but couldn’t finish, because Charles from the front row let out a clearly audible and much annoyed “God, can we please start and not wait for the flirting at the back?” under his breath.   
The room went silent for a few seconds. I guess no one was used to seeing this behaviour from Charles. 

“Well, Daniel is right, I’d flirt with Clara too instead of all this,” Seb gestured to this whole meeting. The room full of drivers bursted out in immature giggling including me. I was grateful to the German for breaking the icy atmosphere. Only Charles turned back and sent a death stare to his teammate. 

Todt rolled his eyes, it seemed like he was more or less used to these comments.  
“Daniel, Max, please sit here in the front,” the FIA president ordered strictly.   
Daniel blushed to his ears.   
“Well, life is cruel,” he whispered to me and walked to the front. 

“Wait, what did I do?” Max asked on a high voice, but didn’t move from next to me.   
“Nothing Max, just… please,” said the FIA principal calmly, pointing at a front seat.   
“Fuck, I did nothing wrong, and as always I get the penalty,” he sweared, and walked after his teammate. His fellow drivers giggled again. 

“Are you happy, Charles?” Max asked the Monégasque sitting down not far from him. Charles turned to him, and frowned.   
“Barely,” he grimaced.   
“Gentlemen,” Todt intervened before the conversation would get deeper. “Let’s focus on the weekend.”

“I don’t know what the fuck was his problem,” Max grumbled as we left the FIA building.  
“But I think I might accidentally crush into him in the first corner,” he shrugged. I didn’t respond, just bit hard on my lower lip, and stared at the Ferrari house. 

I was sure Charles was acting like that because of our fight. So classic move of him. I felt a sting of consciousness, but waved it away.

Daniel was also walking next to us, but said nothing in that matter. He was quiet, which was a rarely seen thing. 

FIA duties were much, much more than my normal routine at Red Bull. I had to sit in the medical car with Dr. Conrad during the free practices, also the races of lower categories, qualification and of course the race itself. 

Also we had to wear an FIA logoed greyish full racing suit with a helmet. It looked cool, but also funny, I just giggled in the mirror when I first tried it on.   
“That suits you,” Vicki smiled as she looked at me.   
“Cool,” I nodded, and hurried to get in the medical car. The first free practices were about to start. 

I met Max in the hallway, and waved to him. His face was priceless, as he had absolutely no idea who was acting that friendly at once.   
I pulled up my visor, and when he realised it was me, his expression changed, and he giggled.   
“Fuck, that is scary,” he said. “Hey, take care. And I hope we won’t meet out there!"  
“Likewise,” I summed up my hopes for the weekend and jogged further down the paddock. 

I also saw Charles for a brief second on my way. He was just getting in his car. My stomach sunk a bit lower in my abdomen, but I knew that was not the right time for the sentimentality. 

Fortunately, we had no job to do beside waiting in the car on Saturday. I checked my phone for the results. Max did good, and Daniel also. They secured second and third place right after Hamilton.   
In contrary, Charles seemed to be struggling - again, at his home race. I caught myself pouting when I read the final results - his time was only enough for 7th place, right after his teammate, Vettel.   
It’s so sad, he was very excited to perform well, I knew how important was that for him to reward his fans and to prove himself to his family. If it wasn't enough, Ferrari expected wins from him. They didn't make a secret of their plans to make him a world champion, and I couldn't believe how much of a pressure was that for a 22 years old. 

I helped a bit with the next day preparations, but then - maybe an hour or two after Q3 - I walked back to the Energy Station. There was much fewer people around already, as everyone was about to do debriefings or last check of data for the race next day.

I just changed my suit when I heard a soft knock on the door.   
“Come in,” I said and wondered who would that be this late.   
To my surprise, I saw Arthur Leclerc standing in the doorway.   
“Arthur,” I smiled at him. "Hello."   
He returned the gesture, but I could see something was off. Of course it was, since he was standing in my office, at the Energy Station and that was not Ferrari. I had no idea how did he got here and managed to find me.  
“What’s the matter?” I asked.   
He looked at me, and like this, he was so alike his older brother. Same look, same chin, same voice. Only his hair was more fair, blonder than Charles'.  
“Can you talk to him, please?” he asked simply, yet so kindly.  
Oh, and he was calm. Much more calmer than him.   
“He is a mess. He refused to leave his motorhome since storming in there right after Q3,” he explained. 

I frowned, Charles was sure acting childish a fair percent of the time, but if something didn’t go the way he wanted then it only made him fighting harder. This behaviour was unusual of him, and honestly that made me worried. 

I sighed.   
In the end, I can’t put this off until forever.   
I have to talk to him. 

“Sure,” I nodded. I gathered my things, and followed the younger Leclerc to his brother’s motorhome. 

I knocked on the door, but there was no answer.   
I knocked for the second time.   
“Lasciami solo,” I heard Charles’s answer from the other side. I took a deep breath.   
“It’s me,” I said calmly.   
After a minute, the door opened for an inch. I pushed it further, and saw Charles sitting on his bed, with his head rested in his hands. Honestly he looked miserable.  
I stepped in, and closed the door behind myself.  
“Hey,” I said, standing in front of him. He didn't answer for a long time. I heard his slow, deep breathing, and that even sounded shattered. I couldn't resist the urge to comfort him, so I gently placed my hand on his shoulder.   
“Hey it's alright," I squeezed it. 

There was silence, only after minutes, Charles inhaled deep.   
“I’m not good enough,” he said.   
First, I wasn't sure what was he meaning. I bit my lips and decided to stick with the qualification today and his driving. Because at that, of course he was - more than enough.   
“You are an amazing driver, Charles,” I smiled. “And I am hundred percent sure everyone is aware of that.”

After a minute, slowly, he gave in and leaned to me. He buried his face to my stomach, and placed his hands on both of my sides.   
“I'm so sorry,” he mumbled.  
“Me too,” I replied and ran my fingers through his hair just to soothe his nerves.

He slowly stood up, and faced me, his hand still remained on my waist. His eyes were darker now than normally, but still desperate. His perfectly arched lip was dry and curved downwards.   
I placed my palm on his face and planted an encouraging kiss on his lips. 

“I can’t do this tomorrow,” he breathed, still gently brushing my mouth with his. “Not without you.”

Fuck. I guess that is not the right time for a break up. 

I slowly nodded and he kissed me this time, more passionately. I returned it, deepening a kiss as I opened my mouth to let his tongue slip in.

Everything happened so fast after that. 

I came here determined to tell him that we should stop, that we can't do this to each other anymore and nor to the others. 

But when he held me so close, firmly, only reaching for my jeans and panties which he pushed down with one move, I gave up and let him sweep me into his lap.   
He showered my cleavage with kisses, and I, instead of stopping him, let out an embarrassingly content sigh. 

I entwined my fingers with his brown locks, and even gently pulled them. It was like pouring oil to the fire.

He sneaked a his hand down between us to the front of his pants, where I’ve felt his throbbing cock for minutes now, and couldn't resist to grind myself to it a couple times. 

He groaned and freed himself. He opened his eyes and when our gazes met he slipped inside me with one movement.   
Both of us let out a sweet moan from the satisfaction and relief it brought. 

He was holding to me like I’d run away any second. But it was an unfounded fear of his. 

I enjoyed every second as much as he did, and wanted him more than anything at that moment.   
I wanted him to feel me close, to make sure he knows I'm there for him.

My brain what usually I took good advantage of, simply stopped working, and let simple sexual instincts and attraction take its place.

We couldn’t hold out long, after a few minutes we were already laying on the narrow pull-out bed in his motorhome catching on our breathing.   
Charles was caressing my hair which was spread out on a red pillow. 

“So,” he kissed my neck. “Can I take you home?” He asked. I looked at him like that he already knew the answer.   
“OK, then I just walk you to the end of the paddock?” He grinned.   
I rolled my eyes, but still nodded.   
“Fine, but I have to leave now, so I can attend the team dinner,” I pouted, and he gave me a peck again.   
“Then come,” he got off the bed, and pulled up his jeans. 

We left his motorhome after carefully glancing around. Since we didn’t see anyone we knew, the place was clear. Charles was walking close to me, but no touching.

“Are you sure you can't come over after your dinner?” he asked hopefully when we reached the exit gate of the long paddock.   
“No,” I said, and only hoped that he would understand my point. "Maybe after the race?" I tried.   
“Yeah,” he looked away for a brief moment.   
“Hey, cheer for me, OK?” He looked back to me.   
“I will, I promise” I nodded. “I just hope Max won’t notice my lacking enthusiasm towards Red Bull,” I grimaced. 

"Thanks, I truly appreciate that," Charles’s face lit up as he giggled a bit. He reached for me and pulled me in to kiss me right there.   
The whole thing happened faster than I could realise that we are not in his motorhome or his flat anymore. 

Even faster, he let go of me and giggled again, forgetting about all his problems at once.   
He gently stroke my hair, looked me in the eye once more and he happened to say the most shocking thing I could imagine.

“God, I love you.” 

My eyes widened and my breath trapped inside my chest. I wasn’t sure about what I heard was really what he said.   
But after our gazes met, I saw the same fear in his green orbs that I was feeling. 

_Fuck, did he really just say that?_


	23. I'm not alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, who's a good girl? 😇

_ "God, I love you."  _

  
  


Charles's words were still echoing in my head when I took a seat next to Vicki in the restaurant. 

"What? You look like you've seen a ghost," she said as a greeting, while she examined my features with a concerned look in her eyes. 

"Almost," I sighed. She frowned, but didn't ask anything else since she saw I wasn’t really keen on going deep there. 

God, I couldn’t even say anything to  _ him _ after those words slipped out of his mouth. 

I was just standing there, at the entrance of the paddock, and wondered how I even got there. 

A few weeks ago I was working in a city hospital a hundred hours a week, slept while I wore my trainers and scrubs and ordered an embarrassing amount of Indian food home wearing my training jeans every other day. 

Now, I was standing in the seaside of Monte Carlo, and Charles Leclerc just blushed in front of me.  _ Because of me. _

_ Yeah, after he declared his love for me.  _

I could see the horror on his face, and that he didn’t say those words deliberately. 

I, too, got panicked, and the only thing out of this situation seemed to kiss him quickly. 

Then, I just left him there and hurried to this damned Red Bull Team dinner. 

A well known laugh pulled me back from my contemplation. 

My eyes fell upon Daniel, who just arrived to the restaurant and took a seat on the other side of the table. 

“Hello, Clara,” He waved to me quite awkwardly. I worked really hard on my facial muscles to return his kind gesture with a small smile. 

Since I've overheard -  _ accidentally! _ \- his and Michael’s conversation, I got a terrible feeling in my guts when I looked at him every damn time. 

I've always kind of thought that he is the most perfect guy on Earth - not just from the outside but he was always kind, funny and relaxed but still acted towards me with much respect which I simply adored. 

And I knew I'd never want to hurt him. I don't want to play him by any means, so if he really meant what he said and they were talking about me for real, then I should in fact leave him alone. 

At least for now, as long as I haven’t figured out what on Earth is that I was doing with Charles. 

_ Oh god only if I wasn't that complicated! _

The team was super excited about the next day. Almost everyone had an idea of how to liquidate Hamilton from P1, so our cars get a double podium. In Monaco. 

It would be unbelievable success.

"I'm voting for simply asking Grosjean to take him out," Max explained grinning. "That is just his usual thing. Nobody would notice it was us." 

During dessert, I caught Daniel watching me again. I looked at him with a maybe not so friendly glance, and I saw his features changing to be much concerned. 

He sat down next to me as soon as the dinner was officially over.

"Hey," he started casually. This time there was no grinning. He was sitting like he turned his back to everyone else, almost shielding me from the others. Vicki got up to go and chat with Aurelie, so there was no help in sight. 

My stomach clenched, I had no idea what was this going to be about. 

"Hi," I was searching for any sign of the usual cheekiness in his eyes but it was nowhere to be seen. 

His puppy eyes examined me carefully, asking much more than he actually did. 

"What's the matter?"

I carved my nail into my arm - not a healthy habit which I developed lately. I realised I'm doing that deliberately when I observed the marks left behind. 

Anyway, it didn't help me to make up an answer. The real answer was that I literally felt this mess slowly squeezing the air out of my chest, but I couldn't just say that, could I? 

But I couldn't lie to him either. I took a deep breath and looked up at him. 

"It's OK, I'll be fine," I said. He observed me for a few more seconds. 

"Clara, whatever is the story, it's not doing any good to you," he said. "And it's kinda hard for me to see that." 

I gulped. His words were so concerned I got a strong urge to hug him right there. My nails weren’t enough, I had to bite my lip this time as well. 

_ Oh, how warm and magically scented could be that sweatshirt he was wearing!  _

But instead I just sighed and looked away. 

"I'll be fine," I mumbled. 

  
  


Sunday morning I can say I didn’t feel better. I had no sleep at all, and I had a valid chest discomfort. If I’d have called in to our hospital, they’d say I better go in for a check up. 

_ But of course, doctors never seek medical advice. We always knew better.  _

But this time I felt like I knew nothing. I had Charles's words echoing in my head non stop and I kept thinking about, searching for the point when we let all the things out of control. I wasn't sure whether we should continue meeting each other in given circumstances but also I couldn't hold myself back and not meet him. 

I felt like he was a safe, little deserted island I only knew about, where I could retreat to whenever I felt like. This was an unexpected extra that came with the job, and hence it wasn't in any contract, I didn't feel like giving it up. 

These thoughts were true and valid while I was aware they are completely wrong. It was not fair with neither Charles, nor -  _ well anyone _ .

So in return, I had black circles around my eyes, my sleep routine ceased to exist, and I was staring the ceiling for so long in my room, I turned up extra late which was not like me at all. The fact that I didn’t even washed my hair as I planned appeared to be a side problem at the moment. 

When I was rushing to the Energy Station I saw Charles. He barely glanced at me, he was walking with Mia, hurrying back to the Ferrari house. 

It wasn't a full minute that passed when I received his text. 

**My motorhome, in 5 minutes?**

My head had been wrapped around these fucking thoughts all night and morning. I walked like a zombie, felt buried under the trouble, and only stared into the distance and sighed every now and then. 

Now, his message was so light, so tempting. He didn't ask if I love him back. He only asked if I wanted to turn up.

Also, I was sure he didn’t want to declare his feelings again just before the GP. 

This was a good old booty call, like in the good old days. 

That made some new thoughts getting formed in my head.

_ Old days, like two months ago? _

_ Well, didn't Daniel said himself that he can't see me suffering like this, right? _

  
  


The door opened much sooner than at my previous visit there. 

I got pulled inside, pushed against the wall, lips crashed to mine and hands were under my shirt sooner than I could blink. 

"Wait, wait," I objected when I turned my head to the side for air. 

It only offered Charles the opportunity to further explore the other side of my neck, leaving soft kisses on his trail. 

"No, we don't have much time," he mumbled against my skin. 

I looked at the wall behind him. The clock showed it was well past 1:30 pm. 

"Yes, it's only 20 minutes until the start," I reminded him. Again, it wasn’t good enough reason for him to realise the situation. 

He slipped his hands under my navy skirt, and squeezed my ass firmly. 

"Well, then it's a good thing you're wearing a skirt," he smirked, and lifted me up against the wall.

_ Well, I can't say it wasn't hot as fuck.  _

His racing overall was knot around his waist so it wasn't hard for him at all to push it down around his ankle. 

We hurried, we didn’t have much time for romantic gestures. It was more of serving our physical needs than caressing each other in some gentle, romantic way. 

_ Just to let some steam off. _

When we both found our satisfaction, he released me and kissed my lips casually. 

"See you after the race," he smirked. “We’d have more time for each other then.” 

"Yeah, well we'll see, OK?" I honestly didn’t know how’d it be in the next 5 minutes, not in the evening. 

"Let's just focus on the race, please?" I asked him, and he nodded. 

I was sure he could focus on driving now. 

But before that, we had to leave his motorhome safely, and not be seen by anyone. I didn’t know what was I thinking when I just knocked on his door. For Charles Leclerc, being unnoticed during the Monaco Grand Prix was a mission impossible. 

Well, at least he got a good point for trying. 

  
  


He peeked out of the motorhome, and raised his hand to sign me to stay put. 

“Fuck,” I sighed, it was only 10 minutes to the start. They are missing him from the grid and I have to change and report at the medical post. 

"Charles," I hurried him impatiently. He shushed me again and peeked outside once more. 

"Now," he opened the door, and I practically ran out to jog back to the paddock. 

In three minutes, I was at the FIA building, and waved to David that I only need a second to change. 

I never dressed up and down and then up and down again in my life. 

The race started and I checked my phone every minute for the updates. The hype was crazier than usual, everyone could feel that. 

The cars were closer to us than on other circuits, we could feel the power of those engines even while sitting in the medical car. 

"Well, I hope your boys will perform well," David turned back to me from the passenger seat. He winked, like he could know something. 

Well,  _ my boys _ were doing an excellent job. Max closed the gap each lap a little tighter with Hamilton, but Daniel was also coming up to his neck by the time.

Of course, the team would never let them fight at such great positions, Christian made that clear for them at the pre-race briefing. 

Charles was gaining positions as well, hardly but successfully. He was then P5. 

He only had to overtake his teammate and he would be coming at Daniel. 

I prayed silently for Vettel not to lose his shit. 

The scenario which I was afraid of came sooner than I thought in an other way. 

Hamilton started to complain about his tires and about Max being frustratingly close to him. 

They tried to calm him down, but then the Mercedes slipped in a straight, after which the team called him in to the pit.

Red Bull had to react as fast as they could with the strategy, and somehow they decided to call Daniel in as well. Max became the leader, and his laps were flawless. 

He only slipped once, his tires had became used as well but he insisted on the radio that he still could do better, and was not in need of a pit stop. 

Leclerc had exactly the same conversation with his engineer. 

The commentators found it especially funny, but I didn't. 

_ Stubborn dickheads! _

After slightly crashing his front wing to a tyre wall near the Casino, Max gave in, and as a consequence he must have suffered a longer pit stop than it was originally in our plans. 

_ Well Max, that's where your stubbornness leads. _

I was even angrier when I learned that his behaviour helped Charles to live out his frustration. 

Around the 40th lap, the order was Hamilton, Ricciardo, Leclerc and Verstappen. 

Hamilton was flying on the lead on his fresh tyres, but Daniel was struggling hard behind him, because Leclerc arrived to his DRS zone. 

"Daniel," I heard the voice of Simon. "Leclerc is 0,2 seconds behind you."

They beeped out Daniel's response, but his ever-optimism came back shortly, as always. 

"How far am I from Hamilton?" He asked. 

"Push, but focus to the car behind you for now," Simon responded. 

Leclerc was doing a truly amazing job, that's why the director cut to show my uncle, holding his head with one hand, wearing his "numbers don't look good" expression. 

"I'm getting closer, guys," I heard Charles speaking on his radio. “I can overtake him in a few laps.”

"OK, Charles, keep pushing, keep pushing," the answer came.

"I will," he said. "You can be sure I will." 

That's where I bit my lips in concentration. Jesus, please don't be silly. I wouldn't want my first attended crash to involve any of them. 

The Ferrari got dangerously close to the Red Bull in the turns. The problem is that Monaco track was incredibly hard to overtake. 

But it wasn't Charles who needed an explanation on that circuit. He knew it better than any other driver and he even tried to overtake in places where others wouldn't. 

In turns 7 and 8 near the port, his car nearly got wheel to wheel with Daniel's. 

"Guys, I think Leclerc is just pushing too aggressively," Daniel gave his opinion in the radio. "I'm happy if we don't crash," he added. 

"Understood, we'll look into it," Simon promised on the radio. 

We have to admit, Simon was the perfect choice to be Daniel's race engineer. He was always calm and practical, determined, organised. Kind of the opposite of the Australian.

At the next opportunity, Charles got his car's nose in between the Red Bull and the wall. 

It was far from a clear shot, even their tyres touched.

"Really, what the fuck is he doing?" Daniel asked. 

"We'll report this, Daniel." Said Simon. 

"He should just see that I'm clearly faster than him," Charles complained on the other radio line. "He didn't leave enough space." 

The nerve wracking scene happened twice or three times until Leclerc got a penalty of 5 seconds. 

"I can't believe this," he said on the radio, and I sighed. 

_ Well, you pushed too hard, Charles, I'm sorry.  _

He tried to overtake Daniel a few times more until the end of the race, but he was much more careful and it didn't help him succeed. 

The broadcast was so focused on the Red Bull vs. Ferrari fight, they nearly missed the moment when Hamilton's Mercedes got crashed into by an overlapped Racing Point. 

It was Stroll, who slipped at the beginning of the Tunnel, and Hamilton followed him to the wall, it wasn't a great impact crash but it was enough to mean the finish of their race. 

When there was a crash on the circuit, the atmosphere in our car always changed. Stress became palpable, and everyone's eyes were stuck on the radio. We were all waiting for the marshalls sign for clarification of the driver's state. 

Everyone was quiet, I wasn't paying attention of the live broadcast anymore. 

If in a minute they are going to report anyone in need of medical assistance, the race will be stopped and we have to drive in. 

"Marshall twelve, calling the MedCar," we heard the static radio transmission. 

David reached for the radio and answered immediately. 

"MedCar here." 

"Well, they are all good," the marshall said. "Angry as hell, but good." 

_ Thank god. _

It wasn't Hamilton's fault, so I understood his desperate rage. 

Getting knocked off of P1 because of a fucking Racing Point was more than a pity. 

Rumours said it Toto Wolff considered selling his share in the team after that stunt. However, the Mercedes garage wasn't the only one with disappointed personnel. 

"Fucking Stroll," Max was fuming after the race. "I see that he wanted to take out Hamilton, but not like THAT! I lost my P1 because of him."

Max ended up being third, right after Leclerc. He calculated he'd have needed about 3 to 5 more laps to overtake him, but since the race ended behind a safety car, he lost all his chance of an overtake.

"Well, there was still Daniel and also Leclerc ahead of you," I tried to remind him of the realities. 

"I could have taken over Leclerc, he was a mess. And maybe Daniel too, he won last year. It was my turn," Max mumbled. 

I smirked, and hugged him. 

"Next time. But please, don't cry full of tears your third place trophy," I tried to calm him. "Some people would kill for that."

On the other hand Daniel was over the moon. He ran from person to person in the paddock, laughing so hard I was amazed his facial muscles didn't cramp. He hugged everyone at least twice before he jumped a bomb into the tiny pool at the Energy Station. Another tradition to celebrate, I guess. 

I don't know what I have been waiting for. I watched him, and I hoped he'd come to me and look me like he did yesterday when I saw in his eyes that - at least for that moment - he only cared about me. 

He was so happy now, I wanted to own a tiny part of that happiness, I wanted to warm up my soul in that brightness that was shining around him. He was so light, straight and clear like a ray of sunshine. 

_ God, these are some dangerous words, Clara. _

"You are staring, you know that, right?" Vicki giggled next to me. 

"I don't," I gave her a side glance but couldn't stop blushing. 

"Yeah, sure," she rolled her eyes. 

The party started at the millisecond the marshalls started to wave the checkered flag. A champagne bottle was opened every minute around the paddock and the music was so loud I couldn't hear my phone neither felt the buzzing in my pocket. 

I wrote a quick message to Charles to congratulate him right after the race. However I was a bit angry because he risked Daniel's and his own race with his aggressive behavior so the text was brief and concise. 

But I was glad he got second place, this race meant everything to him so I understood why he was pushing that hard.

**Tomorrow, at my place?**

That was all his answer. I frowned at the text, because it was strange of him, less intense as usual. 

However, I still didn’t know how would things turn out, and when will I leave Monaco, so I decided to respond later. 

The party continued on a yacht dedicated for solely for the Red Bull team. There was no special place for a big common after party, so every team had their own gatherings. 

Ours, of course was the biggest one, since Daniel won. A lot of media personnel attended the event, and the yacht was full. 

I sticked with Vicki and Aurelie more or less for the night and decided on drinking as much Aperol Spritz as we could - the girls were celebrating and I - well, I more like drank with them to dull my bittering thoughts that were gathering around my head than celebrated our much loved drivers. 

"I'm just a bit tipsy," Aurelie giggled but sipped a bit more of her drink. 

"Yeah I know, me too," Vicki laughed too. She even turned off her phone an hour ago, saying she wanted to zoom out. 

"I need to pee," Aurelie admitted with a suffering face which we found really funny. With a shy giggle she stood up from our table to leave for the restroom. 

"So, Clara," Vicki looked at me like she was waiting for this moment. She seemed more lucid now than I thought, leaning closer to me. 

"What's wrong?" She asked. I looked at her, and I realised I drank enough because I suddenly felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes. I blinked a couple times to make them go away, but the thoughts - I couldn't hold them in any longer. I sighed, gulped down the remains of my drink and prepared to admit everything.

"Well, there's this thing going on," I started carefully. "With…" I swear I wanted to continue but Aurelie arrived back from her trip to the toilet. She brought another round of drinks with her to the table. She was grinning hard. 

"You can't believe what I just saw!!" She shrieked, and sat down quickly to fill us in with her observations.

I felt bad for being interrupted and I saw on Vicki that she wanted to listen to my story much more than any random gossip but still, we turned to Aurelie who was smirking like crazy. 

"I just saw Daniel snogging with Daniela Romani on the dance floor," she whispered. 

_ What? No, you couldn't. You didn't right? _

"Oh, that blonde girl from RAI channel?" Vicki seemed to know her. 

"Yes, exactly. I'm not surprised, she is after Daniel for weeks now," she admitted. 

I felt acid bitter disappointment and anger fill me up. At the same time I was totally aware of that I'm not entitled to feel any of that, but still, god. Even my hands started to shake. 

_ If he is happy with her, then just leave him alone. You are not doing any good for him.  _

_ Fuck, that girl isn't either! And fuck, why does he watching me and asking about me if he is into some random Italian riporter?  _

I don't know how the hell was I able to nod and giggle on the news that made me dizzy. 

Oh and I had a habit to hit myself harder with the hammer once I was hurting. Why? I had no idea. 

So I drank my glass of Aperol at once and turned to the two media officers. 

"I'm going to the loo as well, just a sec."

But instead of that, I was heading to the back of the jacht, where the epicentre of the celebration was. My eyes were looking for Daniel's tall figure, and I didn't have to search for him long. 

Loud chanting of a popular song, and half a dozen of champagne bottle surrounded him. He was standing next to the said blonde girl, his hand was still on her waist. 

I also remembered that girl, she was in Baku, they danced together. I was kind of jealous of her then, but compared to what I felt now, that was nothing. 

I crossed my arms on my chest and watched them for a couple of seconds. 

I don't know maybe I thought if I soak up the scene it'd hurt so bad I would stop thinking about them. 

"Hey there's no use in doing that, sweetheart" Victoria found me, and put her hand on my shoulder. "You can believe me," she winked and gave me another drink. 

"He is just letting off the steam. Does that ring a bell?"

Of course it did, but since it was him not me this time I didn't enjoy it that much. 

I let more emotions ran free since I was more than tipsy at that time. And it was Victoria, I trusted her even if she was Max’s sister. 

I glanced at the couple again, and I decided I couldn't watch that anymore. 

"Let's dance it out, OK?" Victoria winked at me and grabbed my waist to start jumping for the rhythm of the music. 

We spent nearly an hour with dancing and as I drank more I started to feel better. At least I didn't see Daniel anywhere near us and it calmed my nerves a bit. 

I began to feel all right again, just until I was heading for the bar for another drink. I thought it's the smartest thing to head for the bar downstairs so there was always shorter queues. 

I was walking down the yacht's side corridor which was relatively calm when I found them. 

They were tangled in each other, and making out like crazy leaning to the railing. Daniel kept her in his arms, and her fingers were deeply dug in his curls.

I was desperate to keep my head down as I walked past them. 

While doing so, a terrible image break into my cloudy thoughts. 

_ What if Daniel and Michael was talking about her? Of course they did, why would they talk about me? Jesus girl, you are so selfish, immediately thought it was you! How silly of me.  _

I didn't look their way, I didn't say hi and I didn't stop when I heard Daniel shouting after me. 

"Clara, wait!" 

I increased my speed and I almost reached the bar before he came after me. 

I had no idea where he left his new little friend, but I kind of wished he stuck with her. 

But instead of that, he ran after me, and stopped me grabbing my arm.

"Clara, hey," he searched for my gaze, but I was determined not to look at him. 

"What's the matter?" He asked. 

Yeah, right he had no idea about that what he was doing hurts me like hell. 

_ There, nail dug again.  _

"Nothing," I shook my head. 

"Don't give me this bullshit," he grabbed both of my shoulders and turned me to face him. "I've heard this before." 

I was still facing the dark water behind the rail instead of him. I couldn't bare to look at those eyes which were closed in lust and his plush lips which were kissing another girl a minute ago. 

"You should head back to your friend," now I looked at him and was sure my eyes betrayed me. He looked at me and I saw he was thinking hard about what to say.  _ Or do. _

"Danny?" From the other end of the corridor, I've heard Daniela's voice. "Are you here?"

I looked at Daniel again and scoffed. 

"Just...Go back to her. Please" I practically begged him. He gave me a sad glance before I turned and left to step inside the bar.

This time he let me leave. 


	24. I knew you were trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just wanted to leave a better taste for the story on the weekend. 🙄  
> Also, we leave Monaco, so fasten your seatbelts please. 🤗😉

The sun shined directly to my closed eyes, it almost felt blinding even through my lids. 

I turned away but then it wasn't very comfortable, since I lost my pillow like this. I turned back again and tried to position my head to feel a colder spot on the cushion. Sad, that I couldn't find any. In fact, the pillow felt warm and even emitted a constant and moderate snoring noise. 

At this point I got suspicious. I slowly remembered the night before, Daniel's victory party and my tantrum I threw at him while being slightly drunk.

Ok, maybe that was a bit more than slightly. 

_ Fuck, I can be such a drama queen! _

Good thing I let him be with that girl and I - after some more drinks - must have been ended up in Charles's apartment. 

I checked its location before the party started and it wasn't too far at all, maybe a 10 minutes long walk from the Red Bull yacht. 

I had a horrible, splitting headache, and I was thristy. Looks like dehydration did its job.

I moaned painfully as I snuggled closer to Charles. 

"Can you please just stay still?" I heard from below me. "And not make these strange noises?"

I heard the annoyed mumbling, but it was sure not Charles's.

My eyes popped open, I raised my head and faced Max.

_ What the hell?  _

My breath trapped inside my chest. 

_ Oh please tell me I didn't sleep with him. _

_ Please, please, please. _

I blinked some more as I watched the young Dutch.

I didn't remember anything, only that after I talked with Daniel I searched for Victoria and we danced some more.

I tried to recall how I ended up here but I miserably failed. 

I glanced around the room. I saw his jeans thrown to the floor, but luckily he had his boxers on. 

_ Good, its a good sign. _

Not his shirt though. It was crumpled on the floor. And I was sleeping on his bare chest. 

_ Noo, that is a minus. A big minus. _

I had my panties and top on. 

_ Promising. Maybe your friendship still can be saved.  _

"Clara, if you decided to get up, then leave. I'm still trying to sleep," Max mumbled, with his eyes still closed.

"But how did I," I started, but he shushed me down.

"I would say you were OK, but it's for the best if we don't repeat it in the near future." His words stroke me in the head one by one. 

"What? Did we have sex?" I gasped and literally started to sweat. 

_ I can't be that shit of a person. _

Slowly, his mouth curved upwards to the widest cheeky grin, and I knew he was just fucking with me. I felt so relieved I even forgot to scold him for doing that.

"God, you were wasted," he chuckled. "You were insisting on coming home alone but I saw you leaving to the wrong direction. So I ran after you and walked you home," he now also sat up and ran his hand through his messy hair.

"Then you hugged me and made me promise whatever happens I won't stop being your friend. You nearly cried, so I did promise. God I just hope you haven't killed anyone," he giggled. 

I grimaced, as I started to remember some fragments of yesterday. 

I knew I messaged Charles that I'm going to meet him after I talked to Daniel because I felt so awful. 

It seemed like the perfect idea to drown my sorrow into drunk sex with the Monegasque. 

However, my caring friend - Max noticed I left to walk to the direction of Charles's apartment and not theirs, so he decided to guide me home.

"And then you hugged me for an awkwardly long time and refused to sleep alone," Max smirked. "And god, you are a pain in the ass, turning and tossing all the time."

"Well, thanks for taking care of me," I smiled at him gratefully. 

Overall, I felt relieved just because we didn't have sex so I just threw myself on him, giggling. 

"Fuck, just let me sleep, OK?"

So since I was forced to get up I decided to prepare some breakfast to make up for his efforts. 

As I was leaving the room my gaze fell on Max's phone ringing on silent. 

Seeing Daniel's name made me bite my lips. 

"Max, your phone is ringing," I said quietly, but he was already resting on his side, trying to go back to sleep. 

"If it's not Christian or Helmut then I couldn't care less," he mumbled. 

The ringing stopped and the display lit up. It was a new message. Also from Daniel. 

**Tell me she stayed the night with you.**

I frowned at the message but then I decided I had already too much for this morning so I just left to find something I can bury myself in, anything that didn't involve last night. 

I couldn't escape from the reality, though. When I found my phone I realised I also got some unread messages. 

**I'm coming over.**

That was the one I wrote to Charles around 2 am. 

_ God. _

His answer came shortly. 

**Finally. I'm waiting…**

_Wow,_ _when did he become this cocky?_

**I'm still waiting.** The next message arrived half an hour later. 

**Clara are you OK?**

It was the last one that came along with some unreceived calls from him. 

The strange thing was that I had nothing coming from Daniel. Did he mean me in his text? Or maybe  _ Daniela _ ? 

A little part of me hoped somehow Daniel wrote because he didn't know where the italian blonde was so they didn't spend the night together.

_ Yeah, like that's fucking likely.  _

_ Anyway, how ridiculously stupid is that they have basically the same name?  _

I called back Charles. I think after forcing myself to sleep in his bed - to sleep on him, Max'd gladly let me leave for England now. 

Aka Charles's apartment. Well, only for the night. Or two…

I didn't feel bad at all, since Daniel surely had his own fun and probably didn't give the tiniest shit about me and Charles. 

_ Not that anyone would notice our little affair anyway.  _

Later, I thanked Max their hospitality and since I couldn't talk him out of taking me to Nice airport, he drove me there - only to be picked up by Charles an hour after that.  _ How stupid are we exactly? _

"Anyway, did something happen between you and Daniel yesterday?" Max asked in such a calm and almost uninterested voice that honestly, made me a bit suspicious. 

"No, why?" I frowned at him, and tried to ignore my guts migrating to their new homes along my body. 

"I don't know, he asked me when do you leave town and said he wanted to talk to you," he answered as he turned into the parking lot of the airport. 

"Well, he looked like he had a lot on his hands at that moment when we met at the party, I scoffed. "Like that Italian journalist," I grimaced. 

Max looked at me and was almost offended by my ironic comment.

"You know it was nothing, just…" he tried to find the good word for his friend's action. "Letting the steam out!?" He almost asked this, and it was the weakest excuse anyway. I scoffed again. 

"Are you jealous?" He frowned. 

"Why would I be? No," I said to close the subject short. 

I didn't want to deal with Daniel and his new love interest anymore. I was on my way to Charles, it was time to let those feelings go. 

_ Or at least swipe them under the rug. _

Max looked at me for a second longer, then he silently agreed to stop interrogating me. 

Instead, he just engulfed me in a tight hug and wished me a pleasant journey.

The journey was in fact pleasant - back to Charles's apartment. 

"Clara, I didn't sleep much," he said instead of a greeting. "I was up all night, waiting for you." He looked at me with a scolding face. "Honestly, in the end I called Victoria to ask about you," he admitted. 

I gaped at him. 

"You didn't! Why?" I frowned. He can't just call  _ my _ friends to ask about me. Especially in the middle of the night. Especially a Verstappen.

"I was nervous for you," he said quietly. "I thought you got lost or something," he shrugged. 

I frowned at him again, only this time harder, but then a laugh bursted out of my lungs. 

"How could I be lost?" I'm a master of orientation! Especially while drunk! Really, looks like you don't know me," I giggled innocently, but as I looked at him my smile faded. He glanced back at me offended, raising his eyebrows and averted his gaze to the road sadly. 

"What?" I asked.

"If you basically don't let me into your life then how could I get to know you?" He asked quietly. He didn't wait for an answer.

I bit my lips because he was right. We barely spent time together and even if we did we were having sex or were sleeping afterwards.

_ Adults, ladies and gentlemen. _

"How long can you stay?" Charles asked when we arrived back to his apartment. My first thing was to go to the spacious terrace to admire the view once again. I just simply couldn't get enough of it. Charles stepped behind me and put his chin on my shoulder. I grimaced as I had to think about my schedule for the week. 

Before Canada I had to fly back to England, so I can help with the substitution of a doctor at the factory. Then the usual screenplay - briefings, packing, flight, packing, race. I turned back to face Charles.

"I have to be in Milton Keynes on Thursday morning."

"Then I have three days," he smiled. His smile still made me weak in the knees, and the way he looked at my lips brought waves of shiver running along my spine. 

He leant in and gave me a soft kiss which I acknowledged with a content sigh. 

It was such a marvelous feeling to be loved. I snuggled closer to his chest, and let him wrap his arms around me. 

As I eased and melted into his kiss, he slid his palm lower on my back, until he decided to push me back to the railing. After that move, our kisses rapidly became more demanding. 

But at once, Charles inhaled deep and teared his lips from mine, shaking his head. 

"Non," he stated. 

I only frowned at him, didn't know the reason for the sudden change of his behaviour. 

"We are not doing  _ this _ ," he sighed. 

"What?"

"You said I don't know you well. So we are doing things like dinner now and then then we watch a movie," he said with his freshly found determination.

He smirked at my surprise and walked back to the house to start and make some pasta. 

After the surprisingly delicious dinner, we snuggled on the couch to watch a comedy. I couldn't help myself but fall asleep halfway. 

I was woken up by a soft kiss planted on my temple. 

"Clara, wake up," Charles whispered. I opened my eyes and the room was dimly lit, the dawn seemed close. 

"Why?" I groaned and hugged the pillow under my head a little tighter - maybe if I hold on to it tight enough I could stay here…?

But Charles won again, grabbed my hand and somehow succeeded in getting me up. 

"Come, we can see the sunrise," he chuckled and was already in the stairway. 

I scoffed, but his enthusiasm was too much for something just to be shooed away. 

We walked on the empty streets, and as I was still half asleep, I only realised we were heading for the harbour when we got there. 

The sun came up shortly, and I had to admit that the view was worth to be woken up at 5 am.

"I hope you like it," Charles was already watching me instead of the beautiful scene. 

"Yeah, it'll do," I smirked and let him step closer to me and engulf me in a loving hug. 

"Come here," he took my face in his hands. 

He gave me a long kiss which took enough time for me to have my thoughts wander away. The rising sun that painted the sky pink, the calm, smooth sea at our feet and him, my french speaking lover kissing me on the seaside - that scene just made me feel embarrassed and frustrated. 

_ I thought, I don't know… maybe it was just too much for me? _

"Uhm, Charles," I broke the kiss. "We are still at a public place," I reminded him mumbling. As a response, an instant, annoyed look appeared on his face. 

"Yeah, well it's the end of the fun, I guess," he grimaced and took my hand in his to guide me back to his apartment. 

I didn't have the heart to remind him of the fact the hand-holding is also considered as PDA.

Charles wasn't happier on Tuesday evening than last time I left him, only this time I flew home just to spend a few days in England and then we were off to the next race in Canada.

"So, see you in Montreal," he mumbled and pouted quite adorably. I smirked and planted a soft kiss on his arched lips. 

"Sure," I nodded and got out of his car at the Nice airport. 

I spent the second half of the week with team workers' annual check ups, prescribing antihypertensive drugs and writing excuses for missing work and school. It was a dull work and extremely boring compared to the usual things I did but it was perfect for focusing my thoughts and pass the time and not to think about my mess of a lovelife.

On Friday night I was walking back to my car through the parking lot, completely lost in my thoughts when I felt two hands grabbing my waist and I was lifted to the air. I screamed as loud as I could for help, and tried to process the situation fast to find a way out of this obvious kidnapping. 

I tried to kick my attacker desperately, but I only heard a laugh below me. 

I frowned, because I didn't see much in the dark, but the half hearted laugh, the scent of the soft hoodie and the hands on my waist felt somehow familiar.

"Daniel?" I asked, still frightened. 

The Australian looked at me, with that shit eating grin that I wanted to wipe off that ever happy face of his. 

"Sorry, I couldn't hold back myself," he smiled charmingly.

"Fuck you," I let out my breath that I held in for a minute now. God, I was scared to death. 

"It was my payback for Monaco," he chuckled. "And by the way you will get wrinkles from that much frowning," he mocked me as he put me down. 

I didn't miss to notice he forgot one of his hands on my side. 

God, I tried so hard to avoid him after Monaco. I hid in the medical office, came in early and stayed in late. The last few days were quiet, and my nerves calmed down a bit. But now - fuck now he is holding me here like I matter, and watching me with his adorable smirk. I swear if he does this for another minute then my heart is going to stop.

"So," he looked at me once again. "How's everything?" He asked. 

_ I hated those kind of questions, did anyone ever really answered them?  _

"Not much, I'm fine, thanks," I shrugged and looked away. Daniel playfully followed my gaze to stay in my field of vision. 

"You said that before," he frowned. "And I didn't believe that then either."

I blinked at him. He obviously meant the couple of times we chatted in Monaco and I wasn't exactly on a high. Also, he was elegantly ignoring our last encounter, which kind of slowly pissed me off again. I know I was the master of ignoration but still. 

"Well, no one can be always happy all the damn time like you are, Ricciardo," I grimaced.

"I'm not happy all the time," he grinned. 

_ Yeah, sure. _

"Actually I have several things that bugs me, right in this moment," he added, trying to be serious once more.

Now it was my turn to smirk. 

"Tell me one," I looked at him. 

Maybe it was a bad decision, to ask him. His brown eyes found mine and I honestly didn't know what to think about that look. It was surprised, frightened but somehow relieved at the same time.

"Sunday night. It doesn't work out well for us right?" He asked. 

I grimaced and it showed exactly how painful was the memory of that night for me. I tried hard not to think about it, but now I was left with no choice. I sighed.

"I drank a lot, sorry if I said anything that…" I started but he only shook his head in protest. 

"No, no. You were right," he said. "I got too full of myself, drank a lot and did some things I'm not proud of. I guess Monaco Champ title and beer don't mix well." There, he was grinning again. It was truly contagious and I felt smirking myself again at him stupidly, I didn't even hear or bothered about that he mentioned  _ he did some things he was not proud of _ . 

"Well, then we're OK again?" 

I nodded. "Yeah." 

I maybe felt his hand squeeze me tighter but I wasn't sure. 

The next time we met he was smiling at me from afar. The team travelled to Canada on the same flight, and as I boarded, I saw him sitting next to Max, and Jake. They had one more free seat in their row between the two drivers. 

I only waved, and decided to head to Vicki who was sitting a little further down the aisle and was already waving to me. 

As I passed the guys, I felt a hand grab my arm so I turned back. 

"Clara, don't you want to sit here?" Max asked me. I frowned at them, Daniel was already blushing guiltily. 

"Well, I thought this seat was for Michael?" I frowned. 

"Was. But now it's yours," Max shrugged. 

I chuckled and I took the seat. 

_ Well, the next 8 hours are going to be interesting. _

"So what are we watching?" Daniel turned to me randomly when we finished our dinner. 

"Oh," I put own my fork. I felt a bit sleepy, and as I saw he also needed some sleep, he had dark circles around his eyes. Plus his teammate, Max was already theatrically preparing for his next six hours of sleep. Changed to pyjamas, took the melatonin pills Jake offered him, and was wearing his eye covers.

"Don't you need to sleep?" I asked the Australian.

"I will," he shrugged me off, and was already browsing on the media library. 

"Anything without fast cars please," I asked after a yawn. 

He gave me a side glance but his lips slided to a side grin.

"As you wished," he proudly presented his choice - Jojo Rabbit.

I giggled through the movie, it was the perfect choice. 

At the halfway of the film, Daniel frowned at me, because I was struggling to find a comfortable position. 

"Sorry, just this pose is killing my legs," I sighed and crossed my sore limbs again. 

"Give me those drumsticks," he said, but didn't wait for me to realise what exactly he meant by that. 

He casually reached for my tights, and swiped them to his lap. Like this, I had much bigger space, and could watch the second half of the movie perfectly comfortable, hiding my stupid half smile on my face. 

"Something else?" He turned to me expectantly as we watched the end credits.

"No, I think I'll just try to sleep a bit," I yawned. I looked at Max who was snoring next to me so loud we could still hear it through the background aircraft noise. 

"But thank you for the extra legroom," I smirked at him and removed my legs from his side. 

"Anytime," he said and turned away to look out of the window. 

I saw his ear and neck turn red, and giggled as I closed my eyes. I needed no time to I fall asleep. 

I don't know how much time passed but the next thing I knew was that I was awaken by a soft touch on my shoulder. It might have not meant anything but I realised it was Daniel who put his arm around me and absentmindedly started to caress my upper arm. 

It probably didn't mean a thing, and maybe he just wanted to wake me up because I leaned onto him in my sleep. Again, it was so comfortable even if he didn't want me there, I shut my eyes and went back to sleep immediately. 

I simply didn't want this flight to end. 

"Hahaha, I know she is a pain in the ass while sleeping, right?" Max's annoying snort woke me up. He got his beauty sleep so now everyone can wake the hell up - that might have been his philosophy when he stood up, looked at us and thought Daniel's deadly look was sent because of suffering by me, not him. 

_ Well… _

I opened my eyes, straightened up in my seat and frowned at him. 

Daniel did the same, except he asked the question that was hanging in the air and I hoped no one would care.  _ He did. _

"How would you know how she sleeps?" 

Max snorted again and looked at me with a face that I really, really wanted to punch.  _ Hard. _

"Should we tell him?" He winked at me. 

I blushed from my head to toe. 

"Well, someone apparently hates sleeping alone, at least when she is drunk," Max summed up my Sunday night drama the least positive way. 

_ Again, why are we friends with this man? _

Daniel looked at me and asked with his eyes. A little, almost unrecognisable smile was still lurking around the corner of his lips but his eyes were tired and hopeless. 

"We  _ slept  _ in the same bed, yes," I admitted. "Not that it was a good memory for either of us," I grimaced. 

"Well, you don't have any memory from that night," Max giggled, but not for long as I slapped his head with an onboard magazine. 

"What?" I asked, as I saw Daniel's face glued to his phone, not only smirking for minutes now but he peeked at me from time to time. 

"You'll see," he murmured. 

"What will I see?" I asked curiously and tried to look over to the screen but he turned the phone away. 

"Gosh, you are an impatient little sheila," he giggled. 

I rolled my eyes and turned away to chat with Max.

_ I really didn't care at all.  _

We were waiting at the customs when I checked my Instagram and it did give him away. 

He posted a selfie, grinning like a fool and I was there in the background, sleeping in a truly unhealthy position, with my legs resting in his lap, my upper body broken in half and my head balancing on my fist. 

The caption said that maybe it doesn't look like it but he still had the best of fun on the long way here. 

I read his post and giggled. He seemed so happy on the picture. And I was in fact, too.

I tried to spot him in the queue - he was standing behind me a few meters away. 

Our gazes met and he knew why I was giggling at him. 

I had a good feeling about this weekend. Maybe it was the unusually pleasant flight or the sunny, bright weather or the warm welcome pancakes Vicki was talking about at the passport check - but I felt really good for the first time in the last weeks. 

I was kidding with Vicki at the exit, pushing our trolleys next to each other. 

I saw that a couple of reporters gathered at the automatic doors and I was sure they were waiting for our drivers. It wasn't an unusual thing, if something like this happened, Daniel and Max stopped for autographs and some photos for a couple of minutes if we weren't in a hurry. 

But this time it was different. We exited and immediately, flashlights of the cameras were everywhere. 

"Wow, why do they photograph us?" Vicki frowned. Honestly, I had no idea. 

"Maybe some Women of the paddock series?" I guessed, still smiling. 

"Are you Clara Horner?" An obese, bald man shouted at me with an American accent. 

I was so surprised that he knew my name I just nodded at him. 

He acknowledged my answer and made sure to take a few picture composing in the two Red Bull drivers who just joined us at the exit. 

"So you are Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, right?"

  
  
  
  



	25. Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend to everyone! 🤗  
> I gift you - I think - my longest chapter ever.  
> I hope you like it. 💁

* * *

_ "So you are Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, right?" _

You know in our body at the nerve endings there are thousands of little vesicles full of adrenaline and noradrenaline. They are produced only to be waiting for the right stimulus to burst out into the synaptic cleft and hence also to the bloodstream to generally prepare our body for an imminent threat. These chemicals then achieve to raise the blood pressure, along with the heart rate, dilate your pupils, cause sweating and dry mouth - so that you can be prepared to “fight or flight” whenever you are in need. Sympathetic nervous system, at its best. 

Now, that - THAT one question of that journalist was exactly the right stimulus. When I heard him asking if I was Charles's girlfriend, my heart skipped a beat. Then another. Then I started to hear thuds in my ears, incredibly fast and I felt blood flood my brain. I couldn't think at all, and I didn't know either if I'd faint or vomit first. 

_Fight or flight?_ _Good question._

I could only blink at him at that moment. 

"What? Why would she be? Leave her alone, you dumbass" Max stepped next to me, and gently pushed me towards the exit to leave the place. 

_ God, he is still nice to me. He just doesn't deserve this.  _

I gulped, and looked at him. 

"Max," I cleared my throat. "I…, well," I mumbled. 

"It's true, right?" Daniel asked quietly. He was walking next to us, and watched me with his lovely, brown eyes. They were anything but bright this time. 

I looked down and nodded curtly. Daniel scoffed and while shaking his head he continued to walk towards the exit. 

I watched him leave and wanted to say something desperately - but I still wasn't able to speak. 

"No, I'm not believing this. It's just a bad joke, which is - by the way - not funny at all Clara," Max was still standing next to me, and he refused to realise the situation. 

"I don't know how this happened," I sighed. "I'm so sorry, Max."

He gave me a side glance, and watched me suspiciously. 

"How exactly is that  _ you don't know _ ? I guess you were  _ there _ ," he scoffed. 

"And why Leclerc? God," now he sighed too. "I'm not going to discuss this here," he looked around. The reporters were still lurking around, and also some fans were waiting for their favourites to give autographs - in vain. 

"Come on, the cars are waiting," Vicki hurried us, while furiously browsing on her phone. 

When I passed her she made.me stop and turned her phone to me. 

"I guess you haven't seen these. It's out there, all over social media," she grimaced. 

I really didn't need more than what she just showed me. It was her instagram, and it was full of pictures about me -  _ and Charles _ . 

On one, we were kissing each other furiously at the exit of the paddock in Monaco. 

_ God, it was when he said he loves me.  _

Then on another one he held me close, standing on the terrace of his apartment. 

And a third one - which was dark and blurry - was taken on the streets of Monaco where we were strolling while holding hands. 

Fuck. Fuck.  _ FUCK.  _

_ How were they there? How could they know?  _

Vicki gave me another look as the both of us got inside the car which took us to our hotel. 

I covered my face with my hands, and was on the edge of crying. I peeked at Vicki sitting next to me and I couldn't say anything, only waited her to scold me, shout at me or just say anything. 

But she didn't, she was typing on her phone, focused. We almost reached the hotel when she turned to me. 

"Well, I recommend you to read the original article about your apparent romance with Charles at an Italian site. I sent you the link. They like the idea pretty much, presenting the whole thing as that Charles is the perfect lover, even seduced the cold English doctor who works at RB and - maybe - best friends with our drivers. Charming. I can see Ferrari media staff being already in love with the idea. I'm sure they leaked that," she grimaced. 

I shook my head in disbelief. 

"No they couldn't. We kept it a secret from everyone," I tried to explain. 

Vicki raised her eyebrows. 

"Everyone? Are you sure?" She asked. 

I bit my lips.  _ Well, that wasn't entirely true _ . 

"Ok, I've kind of met Charles's family," I started.

Vicki scoffed. 

"Yeah, I can see how big secret was that when you've met all the Leclercs," she grimaced. 

"Well, his mother wasn't very keen on me so she wouldn't do such a thing. Neither Arthur. However, there was this stupid surprise party…," I just remembered Charles's lame friends I met. 

_ Shit.  _

"God, Clara didn't you plan to tell us?" Vicki scoffed again. I nodded, my face still in my hands. 

"Yes, I did," I mumbled. I sighed, straightened up and turned to face her.

"Look, it started as a casual one night stand. We met in Bahrain and I've thought I'd never see him again. But then I obviously did and I don't know, it somehow grown on us, and next thing I realised that I was standing in his apartment in Monaco," I tried to explain and only hoped she would understand - at least a bit. She sighed again.

"Did you talk to him about  _ this?"  _ She asked, obviously meaning this situation. I shook my head. 

"No, he is still in their flight," I said. 

Charles texted me in the morning before we left England. Their flight was scheduled a couple of hours later. 

Honestly, I couldn't even think about what to do. I watched the Canadian scenery pass through the tinted windows and only could think about what were Max and Daniel speaking about in the car ahead of us.

"Well, obviously you have to talk to Christian first," Vicki spoke up. I turned back to her. 

"What?" I gasped. 

"You have to speak to him asap. It's a team matter. Especially with Ferrari involved," she sighed. "You know we'd be happier if you have chosen literally any other soul in the paddock," she added. 

I gave her a glance. 

"Ok, maybe not from Mercedes," she smirked bitterly. "Nor Renault. He is insane about Abiteboul. But still, Charles?" 

"It was not like I chased him," I grimaced. "It just happened. And I was terrified to tell it to you and the team. Yet, here we are," I sighed. 

A little ironic laugh teared from my chest. My previous good feeling about Canada couldn't seem more inaccurate.

The driver stopped at the hotel, and we had to get out. I noticed with some relief that Daniel and Max already went inside. 

In my room, I threw myself on the bed, but I knew I didn't have much time to meditate on my despair. 

We were the last ones to arrive, and since it was Wednesday evening, I knew tomorrow the cruelest Media day was waiting. 

I sighed and started to check the news on my phone. Vicki sent me the link to the original article she was talking about. It was in Italian, so I decided to ask Charles about it. The English sites recited it enough times I could figure out what was it all about. The thing that caught my attention was not the article itself but the writer. 

_ Daniela Romani. _

I threw away my pillow so angry it hit the opposite wall, hitting a mirror which fell down. It broke to a hundred pieces.

_ Fantastic. Was it seven years of bad luck? Or not getting married?  _

I didn't really care about either at that moment. If there would have been another mirror on the wall I'd have tried to aim more precisely the second time.

_ How could that little bitch swirl around Daniel AND throw this gigantic pile of shit at me? God, she must have been working hard in the last months.  _

My phone rang on the table - with Christian calling. 

"Clara, meet us in the hotel's café. We need to talk, obviously," that was all he said then hung up. 

I felt like I was carrying a stone of five pounds in my stomach as I walked to the restaurant. I wasn't only sad, feeling desperate and guilty but - thanks to Daniela Romani - I was pissed off as fuck. 

My uncle was waiting with Vicki sitting on his side. 

First, he sent me a serious look, but seeing my rage he quickly switched to being surprised.

"That bitch wrote the article," I started, sitting down without saying hello. Vicki looked at me surprised and wanted to ask me for more but my uncle was faster. 

"I don't really care who wrote the article," he said. 

"Yeah, well your driver was snogging her on the afterparty in Monaco like three days ago," I tried to finish and justify that I was right but he shushed me down. 

"Clara,  _ that _ is not over the news, right?" He said calmly. That made me even more angry. I exhaled long and rolled my eyes. 

_ Ok, if they decide to ignore it they'd see themselves.  _

"We are here to discuss your," here he stopped for an awkward second. " _ Involvement _ with Charles."

And there he began my roasting. It span to about 30 minutes, precisely clarifying that how many things I did exactly wrong. Starting with not telling them the whole thing earlier. 

_ Yeah, and how exactly Christian? I imagined going to his office in Milton Keynes one morning and casually say that I had two fantastic rounds with Charles.  _

_ Thank you for your attention, have a good day. Sure.  _

And then, they were stating all the things I can't do and say while being with another team's member. 

I remained silent almost the entire time. It was my punishment anyway and I kind of felt like serving that.

"So, what are you going to do?" Christian asked me carefully.

"I have no fucking idea," I looked up to face him.

To be honest, after the first panic attack, I felt a wave of relief because I didn't have to keep secrets anymore. But I knew this getting out would lead to so many conflicts I wasn't sure if all that worth it in the end. 

As a bonus, I still couldn't talk to Charles, and felt like bearing with this whole mess alone, which was frightening me even more.

"I…,"  _ well, it's a good start Clara. _ "I don't think of it as anything very serious. Plus, I'd never march around with him like a  _ WAG _ ," I mumbled. 

The other two just frowned at me with disbelief. 

_ And again, where the fuck is Charles? _

He only called me late night. Of course I wasn't sleeping and I picked it up while my heart started its now usual pace at 120 bpm. 

"Where have you been?" I asked him first without saying hello. "Have you seen what they wrote about us? What the fuck is this?" I nearly started to cry - again. 

There was a brief silence on the other side.

"Clara," he said in a surprisingly calm voice. "Calm down. I've read it. If you want that, I can come over and we can talk."

"Yes, I do," I sighed. "Please, do come" I added. 

In half an hour he knocked on my door. 

He was so handsome, confidentially smirking in the doorway I couldn't resist it and hugged him immediately - in spite of my promise I made earlier to myself which was that I won't even touch him before we talk this thing through. 

"I missed you," he said and planted a loving kiss on my head while he was slowly caressing my back. 

"This is awful," I grimaced. "I've never thought  _ this _ would leak to the press".

He slid his hands on my arms gently pushed me back into my room. He closed the door, and turned to face me.

"What is awful? Honestly, I am surprised it got out so late. Somebody saw us. I'm sorry. But I think it's better this way, no? At least we don't have to hide anymore," he smirked again, and leaned closer to give me a peck, but I turned my head because I didn't think this lightly about the subject. Not at all. I laughed out ironically instead. 

"Yes, no hiding with what? Charles, it wasn't like we were  _ a couple _ ," I shook my head. "I'm not even sure what we are doing here, this, together," I mumbled. 

Charles sighed, but was still resting his hands on my side. 

"Clara, I really want everyone to see you as my girlfriend," he reached for my chin and tilted my head upwards so I must have faced him. 

"And I don't care about what they say," he added. 

"Well, I am sorry, but if you think I'll cheer for you every weekend wearing a ferrari shirt, parading around your garage and hold your hand as we are giving out family interviews my answer is the biggest no in the universe," I scoffed and crossed my arm on my chest. 

Charles giggled a bit but I could see even this wasn't enough to break his cheerful, totally inaccurate, happy mood.

"Well I wouldn't be against it if you would do all these things," he smiled at me gently. "But don't you think I'd find somebody else if such things were so important to me? I think  _ this,  _ whatever happens is sooo much better than hiding in motorhomes and hotel rooms." 

I blinked at him a couple times. He sighed and still smiling, he kissed my gasping lips.

"I told you," he looked my in the eye but chose not to say  _ those _ words again. I already knew what he was meaning to say.

I was so grateful for that, I kissed him this time. 

"What do the others say?" I asked, because I just couldn't get my head from this thing. 

Charles frowned, still holding me. 

"What others?" He asked. 

I rolled my eyes. I didn't believe his team is not pissed by the fact he didn't bring home an adorable, cute, Monégasque university student this time. 

"Ferrari?" 

Charles only could smirk again. 

"They don't really care. Mattia said it's fine until I bring home some wins," he shrugged. "And Mia likes you," he explained.

"Only Seb is mocking me, he said I'm not deserving you," he added with a hint of bitterness, but after a short silence his determination got over it quickly. "But I really shouldn't care about what he says," he shrugged. 

"Well, I do care," I grimaced. "My only friends here are not talking to me now." 

Charles grimaced again. 

"Don't you think they would be your true friends if they let you be happy with whoever you want?" 

I scoffed. 

_ Yeah, it's not like that. This is not some fairytale pretty boy.  _

"Charles, it is not that simple," I felt like we've tried to have this conversation before. But again, he rolled his eyes impatiently. 

"Listen, Verstappen has been always like this. Everything must go the way he wants it, otherwise he gets crazy and smashes something. It's time he learns finally that he can't be the winner all the fucking time." I saw as Charles got worked up talking about Max. 

During the same time I was chewing on my lips and was thinking about how to talk to and make up with the Dutch.

_ I guess this was not the aim of his talk. _

"So," Charles put his hand on my cheek and pulled me back from my bothering thoughts.

"So, I don't know, maybe we should just take it slow," I sighed and I saw a shade of disappointment darkening Charles's fine features. 

I was amazed how lightly he took this whole drama. It only reminded me of my own people and the contrast. Since I came back from the tense discussion with my uncle and Vicki, I met nobody and I was beginning to get terrified of tomorrow. 

"Are they angry?" Charles asked, tilting his head to the right sided wall of the room. 

I froze because how would he know Max's room was that way?

"I met  _ him _ in the elevator," he shrugged. "He didn't look happy about seeing me here," he added. 

_Fuck, this guy._ _He was surely smirking the whole time, and Max - he really had to see Leclerc rushing to me first thing as his plane lands?_

"Oh I wanted to ask you something," I remembered and started to search for my phone. 

"Anything,  _ ma belle, _ " Charles was smirking again. 

"Stop that," I sent him a look and turned my phone to him. "Can you translate it to me please?" 

He grabbed my phone then first, he scooped me in his lap. Only then started to scroll down on RAI television instagram page. He was reading it out loud and translating carefully every bit. 

It was in fact a cheap, loosely written article about us. I was amazed that  _ Hello _ magazine didn't buy it first. 

"Oh and it is written by Daniela," he chuckled when he finished reading. 

"What?" I blinked at him. "Do you know her?"

"Of course I do, she is always Ferrari's guest. She's very nice," he answered while he blushed a bit.

I just threw myself on the bed while letting out a loud groan.

_ I think it is the best thing if I just play dead tomorrow morning. _

Actually, in the morning I was woken up by an unfamiliar morning alarm sound. It was harsh - nothing like my gentle playful, flowery tune. 

"What is this?" I groaned into my pillow.

A sleepy Charles smiled at me from the other side of the bed. 

"Good morning," he mumbled and pulled me closer, positioning his head in the crook of my neck. 

First, I panicked that he stayed the night again. Then I calmed myself - it was OK, we were not a secret anymore. Than I panicked again, because I realised I had to get up soon, dress and go to our garage and meet the Red Bull team. 

I sighed and could only hope that not everyone thought I was some traitor flirting with their biggest rival team's driver. 

I sent Charles to the track alone, no matter how strong he insisted on us driving there together. 

I didn't want to put any oil on the fire. 

I catched a taxi and headed to the Red Bull Energy Station straight away. 

I thought I've mastered the art of disguise, wearing a cap and sunglasses so I didn't raise any attention of the press.

However, it seemed like it wasn't enough of safety precautions for the photographers to ignore me. 

As soon as I got out of the taxi, I saw a man taking pictures of me. Just as I was walking to my workplace. 

_ Is this how it goes from now on? How splendid _ .

After that I was hiding in the medical room until the afternoon, when I heard some strange noises from the outside. I went closer to the door and wanted to peek out a bit but my hand stopped on the handle.

"Fuck him," said Max. He sounded outraged. "That little shit, he is so full of himself now." 

"He was smirking at me like he got the Championship title in his pocket." 

_ That was Daniel and Max. _ I've considered to open the door before, but now as my heart was pounding in my throat, I ditched the idea. 

"You did right, not saying anything. But if I were you, I'd have punched him in the face so hard, Dan," Max said and the duo passed my door so I didn't hear the rest of the talking. 

As the afternoon passed I've got to know who was the subject of their brief conversation - Charles.

The drivers' press conference had a true nightmare of a cast. I didn't know how dark humour Liberty Media had, but putting Max, Daniel, Seb and Charles to one table never seemed like a clever idea.

I was glued to my phone, watching Sebastian talk first. Max and Daniel was mumbling a few words to each other. Charles was just sitting there, nodding at Seb's words and occasionally smirking. 

"So Charles what is your vision for the weekend?" A local journalist asked. 

"Well, our car is ready, and perfected by the best team. I can't wait for racing against these guys," he gave a side look to the two Red Bull drivers and continued.

"But I already feel like I have won something here," he added with a happy chuckle. 

_ God. Charles. _

This comment also made Sebastian giggle. 

"Sure you did, just look at them," Sebastian mumbled to his teammate clearly speaking privately but it was unfortunately audible. 

They looked over the other side of the table, where Max was sitting with an indifferent, straight face. Next to him Daniel was also quiet, determinedly staring down to his left hand. The heavy raising and falling of his chest was visible, but he only cleared his throat. 

There was an awkward silence. In the end it was Max who broke it, using his most mocking, arrogant tone. 

"I wasn't aware. Did we miss something?" He asked, playing the dumb. 

Charles smirked again. 

_ God, please don't be that god damn happy _ !

"I'm not sure, maybe Daniel did?" He asked. He made a move and leaned ahead so he could face Daniel who was sitting at the other end of the table. The Australian now looked up from the thoroughly examination of his hand and faced the Ferrari driver. 

The two exchanged a two-second long look while Charles was still grinning. Then the Australian slowly turned to the audience and flashed a weak half smile. 

"Next question?" He asked with the complete lack of his usual enthusiasm. 

The interview went on in a moderately usual way, but the tension was surely palpable. Only Vettel tried hard to cheer up his mates - but he didn't succeed. 

I sighed at the end of the video. 

_ Bloody hell, I really hope it won't go on like this the whole weekend.  _

_ But of course it did.  _

First, when I met Lee, the old doctor greeted me with his cheekiest smile I've ever seen. I gulped, because I already knew what'd come next. 

“I see you are not bored after all,” he giggled, and winked at me. 

“Please, don’t start,” I rolled my eyes. “Not here,” I gestured to show him we are at our medical room, which I always considered my safe place. I was surely in my comfort zone here. At last. 

The next was Vicki, who also found me there, but managed to lure me out to have a coffee in the Red Bull cafeteria. 

“So, let’s see the hard part first,” she began, and took a couple of papers out of her bag. 

“What is this?” I asked her frowning. 

“Well, Christian is sending these for you to sign. An appendix to your contract, apparently about private workplace relationships,” she grimaced. 

“Gosh, do I really need to be tortured like this?” I sighed and looked at the papers scornfully. “Max refuses to speak to me, my uncle and you think I’m a threat to the team, media is after me like I’m the new attraction of the paddock, and I don’t even have a training this weekend to take my mind off these things. Plus Charles is really not helping at all marching around like he is having the time of his life” I freaked out. “Oh, and I haven’t even seen Daniel since he looked at me like I did the last thing he’d have ever expected me to do,” I added bitterly. 

Vicki was listening to me silently, then she cleared her throat. 

“Look, first I don’t think you are a threat for the team. It is just a standard procedure to make sure team strats are not getting out. Max’s hot head will cool down sooner than you think.” The only thing good of my day was her smirk here. Then, she sighed again. “Just let them proceed all this. If this is really what you want,” there she gave me an uncertain look. 

It was my time to sigh, as an uneasy silence fell between us. 

“But first, you have to tell me if he is that good in bed as I think he is,” Vicki spoke after a minute. 

I raised my head in her direction, and I wasn’t sure if I heard correctly what she just said. But after I saw her smirk forming in the corner of her lips, I knew I did. I was so relieved I laughed out loud. 

On Friday afternoon, I was just outside our garage, when I saw Charles walking in my direction. He was smiling from afar, and I was so struck by the sight of him again, I was just standing there. 

"Hey," he reached me, and stood there a little awkwardly. Maybe he didn't know what would be inappropriate for me to do.

"Hello," I said and peeked around to see who was watching. He was almost in Red Bull property, and I didn't want to cause any inconveniences. 

"You can't just walk in here," I continued. 

"We should… We should go somewhere else," I mumbled. 

"Ok, I wanted to invite you for lunch anyway," he nodded, shot a look to our garage, and put his hand on the small of my back to guide me to the Ferrari House. 

Actually, it was a pleasant surprise to dine out after hiding in my room for two days. The shocking detail was to see that how they  _ adore _ Charles at the team. I knew they plan on having him there until the end of the world, but the smiles we got everywhere we went were ridiculously over-enthusiastic. 

Of course it was more because of him, not me, but anyway, everyone - even Binotto and which felt like all the engineers and strategists on Earth came to us and shook my hand. 

“See, they like you,” Charles grinned at me over our salads on the terrace of the Ferrari House. I grimaced. 

“Yeah. It’s nice but I only wish if my people at Red Bull would act the same.”

“Well, you could still come and work here,” he shrugged. 

I looked at him. 

_ That is not the solution. Why does he think it would do any good? No.  _

“Charles,” I was beginning to explain my point when my eyes fell upon a group of people in navy blue crossing the alley in front of us. 

It was Max and Daniel with their trainers. I watched them with a sigh as they walked away in the direction of the Energy Station. 

Max gave us a glance then turned away to talk to Daniel, who was wearing his eyeglasses - sadly, because I really, really missed looking in his eyes.

Until this time I strongly refused to let Daniel's image back in my head. I shut him out completely. That look on his face at the airport, slowly shaking his head - not really out of disbelief but with so much disappointment and sorrow. In an hour, his look changed from giggling adorable at me while holding my legs in his lap on the plane to expressing so much hurt - it could make my heart break if I'd see those narrowed eyes one more time.

On Saturday I decided to come out of my hiding place and watched the Qualification with Vicki from the garage. Our guys were good, getting into Q3. I could feel they are pushing hard, also Charles did too. Again, that was his downfall. 

_ It was such a fucked up miserable act of nothing. Still, it happened. _

Towards the end of Q3 the Ferrari arrived in the box just for a usual tyre change. Max arrived shortly afterwards for a quick pitstop as well. As soon as the Dutch finished he must have seen the red car leaving its place but he clearly hit the throttle anyway and basically - driving way over the pitlane limit- he just crushed to Charles who wanted to join back the track too. 

The new tyres were fuming and Charles were waving furiously at the Dutch. The Ferrari's new right front tyre was punctured by the Red Bull's side wing. 

"Fuck, what is he doing?" Vicki gasped next to me. "Is he insane? He'll surely get a big fat penalty for this," she held her head and I was sure she was already thinking about how is she going to set that up in a good light in Max's post-qualy interviews. 

I blinked at the monitors where they replayed Max's act again and again, then cutting to the angry Leclerc and Binotto. 

My uncle was burying his face in his hands, shaking his head with disbelief. 

Charles called me furiously after Q3. 

"Tell that  _ good _ friend of yours that he will pay for this," he threatened. I felt getting angry only by the thought of those two hurting each other. 

"God, you should just stop it. Act like adults for fuck's sake! And just for you as a reminder,  _ my friend  _ Max is not talking to me at all because of you!" At the end I was basically shouting in despair.

After all this I decided to not attend the Saturday team dinner and also sent a text to Charles asking him to stay in his hotel for the night. 

Vicki was begging for me to join them, but I felt it wasn't appropriate, especially after the accident. Which by the way cost Max a three place grid penalty for tomorrow's race. 

_ God, he has really gone crazy after all. _

So instead, I stayed in my hotel room and decided to order room service - thank god they had ice cream AND waffles on their menu-, changed to my pyjamas at 8 pm, and started to watch a scary as shit show on Netflix. 

After the first episode and half a pound of chocolate ice cream later I heard a knock on my door. 

I opened it and I saw Max standing outside, wearing nice clothes - I guess for the restaurant dinner, with a slightly confused look on his face. 

"Hi," I said, and silently prayed for him not just knocking on the wrong door. 

"Are you alone?" He hesitated. 

"Two children was just murdered in the show I'm watching hence I really hope so," I nodded. 

He visibly got relieved. I took a step to the side, silently inviting him inside. 

"Victoria says I'm a huge ass and a bag full of shit is a better friend than me," he said as he stepped inside. 

That moment I made a silent promise I'm calling Victoria after this and thank her for her existence. I instantly felt a smile forming in the corner of my lips but tried to suppress it as I answered. 

"No, you are not an ass," I shook my head. "I love you and I'm so sorry. I really didn't want to hurt you, Max," I felt my emotions overflow as I saw him standing there. 

He slowly nodded and I couldn't stop myself from hugging him tight. Which he let. 

_ Thank god.  _

"I am so sorry," I repeated while holding him. He took a deep breath. 

"Me too. But not today though. It felt so satisfying to crash into his car," he added. 

I frowned at him. 

"You can't say this," I warned him. "Max you caused a collision on track which was dangerous."

He shrugged. 

"Still, it was worth it. You chose the wrong boyfriend material," he said. After a minute of silence I saw the same smirk appear on his face that I suppressed before. 

"Why aren't you at the dinner?" I asked. 

He shrugged again. 

"Helmut shouted the hair off my head. And Christian is not talking to me," be summed up his evening with a straight face. 

"God," I gasped. My stomach clenched hard in my abdomen. 

_ I really didn't want all of this to happen. _

__

"So what are you watching?" He asked casually. I blinked at him a couple of times, still only believed half of the fact that he might have forgiven me. 

"Oh, it's actually pretty good, come and I'll show you," I mumbled. 

He stayed the rest of the evening. We watched the first half of the entire season, and Max ate most of my desserts. This time I didn't even remind him that he actually needs to watch his weight. 

After making peace with Max, I felt some of my lost confidence found its way back to my body. On Sunday I watched the screens with my hands crossed over my chest. I sat with Vicki at the end of the garage, and tried to remain invisible - successfully. 

At least that was what I found as an excuse when I was trying to find a reason for Dan still ignoring me. 

I saw him several times that weekend, but our eyes have never met. Every time I saw him speaking to Simon or warming up with Michael I got a strange feeling looking at him. Then, as I watched him turning away from a TV camera and got inside his car, I realised - he never smiled. 

I gulped as I felt a lump forming in my throat. I thought of talking to him a couple times but always came to the conclusion that I had no idea what to say to him. 

I watched the race with only paying half of my attention to the events and getting lost in my thoughts time after time. 

"Yesss," Vicki jumped up from her seat when Max took over a McLaren and thus reached P3. I let out a smile but fell back to thinking immediately. 

"Are you not coming to the podium?" Vicki asked me. 

I felt like I just woke up, but I was sure I haven't been sleeping. Yet, I just realised the race was over, and the cars just drove to the parc fermé. 

"What is the standing?" I gasped, trying to make it out of the screen. 

"God, your  _ boyfriend _ won, Hamilton is P2 and Max is third," Vicki explained but was blinking at me suspiciously. "What were you thinking about this hard?"

_ Daniel.  _

"Uhm, I don't know, I guess I have plenty of my plate to choose from," I shrugged while I followed her outside. 

"And he is not my boyfriend," I added as we watched the podium ceremony from a moderate distance. 

**Coming over to celebrate?!**

Charles's text came shortly after everyone went back to the garage. 

I was standing in ours and packed the medical bags for today's shipping back to Europe. 

"Just go, have some fun," Lee winked at me and insisted on finishing up alone. 

I said goodbye and I swung out to the corridor with a momentum. It made me immediately bump into someone. 

I would lie if I'd say I didn't just know it would be Daniel. 

He automatically reached for me to stop me with his hands so preventing my fall.

"Wow," I mumbled, while I felt I turn as red as a tomato. He was still wearing his racing suit. He ended up being sixth, so I had no idea what he was doing this late here. Usually he changed early and left with Michael. 

He also watched at me surprised, like he wasn't expecting me still staying here. 

"I'm sorry," I felt like adding that as we were still just standing there, Daniel holding me in his arms. 

_ It was the same sentence I repeated to him in my head for four days anyway. _

"Yeah," he said, half heartedly.

I realised he got some dark circles around his eyes, and his small wrinkles looked more deep. 

_ Maybe it's because of the race. He might be dehydrated. Gosh, why wasn't he drinking enough? _

He was also looking at me - still no smile in sight. His lips were slightly open, and he got his eyes... on my lips. 

_ Fuck _ .  _ Daniel _ .  _ No, you can't look at me like this. _

I was sure I didn't say a word, but he still seemed to hear my thoughts. He lifted his gaze back to my eyes. 

"Are you not celebrating?" He asked quietly. I swallowed, and just couldn't respond. 

"You should," he said as his eyes wandered away, and looked to the direction of the Ferrari garage. "He would be happy to have you there with him," he said. 

He slowly slipped his hands down from my back and walked away to his room. 

  
  



	26. Another love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's the weekend, right?  
> Then it means new chapter! 😏  
> Well, I am sorry in advance. Some may say I'm an awfully bad person. 🤫 and maybe they are right. 🙎

Next, the French GP was coming up. It was not anyone's favourite race - ok, maybe except the Renault team and Grosjean - because it usually turned out to be extra boring. 

Luckily we had two weeks beforehand. It meant we flew back to England and Charles also needed to head back to Monaco, and to Italy. To be honest, I was a little happy about that part, I thought I might get a chance to think things through and feel free a bit from the constant media attention that accompanied us when we were together. 

I took the team’s flight back to London, and during the entire time I was watching movies with Max - which I was eternally grateful for. His cheeky jokes and ironic remarks made me forget to be nostalgic about my last flight - not even a full week ago during which I basically spent 8 hours giggling with Daniel. 

The Australian now was sitting further away with Michael, and was sleeping for what seemed like hours. 

I felt guilty after each time I peeked to the direction of them - which was a lot.

But I couldn’t help to think about him. Because, well… I just couldn't understand his motivations towards me. 

Since we met, he was always nice and even sometimes flirty with me so I began to think it wasn’t such a dumb idea that he likes spending time together. My mind was full of the occasions where I forgot how to breath in his presence - when I was giving him sutures, when we climbed in to a parc at night, when he hugged me at the volleyball match, when we ran together and of course when we danced and he said I was beautiful. 

But then if so, why would he hook up with the first random girl he finds at a shitty party? 

Plus since he found out about me and Charles he avoided me as much as he could. He was desperate to look away every time our gazes accidentally met. And he escaped every time we happened to end up in the same room - which was almost never, he minimised his the team appearances. He started to train three times a day at least used that excuse to not be present. 

Our last conversation was when he basically sent me into Charles's arms and that reminded me of my own actions in Monaco so much I got goosebumps every time it flashed back to my memory. 

“I am worried about him,” Vicki mentioned one morning when we were sitting in the cafeteria, having breakfast with Aurelie. The other PR officer nodded with the same concerning look. 

“Yeah, me too,” she sighed. “I’m not sure what’s wrong but he postponed all his media obligations for the week. So I feel I have nothing to do.”

I put down my coffee and peeked to the direction of Daniel, Michael and Simon sitting at the next table, watching some papers spread out in front of them. Daniel looked tired as he held his head with one hand, thinking hard, frowning. He still got his breakfast next to him on the table, untouched. The next second he tilted his head to the side and looked at me.

My heart dubbed hard in my chest as I gasped. And like a vision disappearing, the next second his sad, brown eyes were back again on the data sheet. 

Unlike Aurelie, luckily I found enough work to keep myself busy. I guess if you get used to work for twenty-four hours a day in a city hospital then normal 8 hour long work days pass by quickly. 

I spent most of my hours in the medical office, occasionally had lunch with Max or Vicki if they were in the factory as well. 

On Friday I was just finishing up for the day when my phone rang. I saw it was Greta, my sister. 

"Hello there," I chirped picking it up. 

"Well, hello you too. Don't you think you should call me up with such news? I'm waiting for a week now for you to announce your obviously turned out to be public relationship with your supposedly one night stand," her voice was a bit offended and hurt. 

I bit my lips because -  _ yeah _ . I didn't tell her anything. But I was sure she wouldn't approve anyway, so I just decided to ignore the problem again. 

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. 

"Don't be sorry. It's your choice. But you could have talked to me. You know that, right?" She asked, with some concern in her voice. 

I nodded, and somehow a tremendous amount of guilt flashed through me. I tend to forget that I had people who cared and I could talk to. I knew it was extremely unhealthy to swallow all my problems and bury deep but I did it anyways. I sighed and there was a couple seconds long silence in both end of the line. 

"Clara?"

"Yeah, I know. I should have called," I answered. 

"Well, we can deal with  _ that _ part," she began, with a little giggle. I frowned a bit confused but waited. "You know, I got a few days off."

"What do you mean?" 

"So I just bought a plane ticket to Marseilles."

I literally screamed to the phone I was so happy. I can't even remember how long was it that I haven't seen my sister. Maybe a year. Or a year and a half. And now, out of nowhere she called and she says she is coming to see me.

"You did what?" I gasped. She chuckled happily.

"You heard me. So book a nice hotel room and start arranging the program."

"Will do," I smiled. "Starting immediately." 

I was so happy that I basically skipped out of the factory. I couldn't wait to get home and start making plans for the next week before the French GP. 

Charles called me on the way home. He just finished a photoshoot with Armani and I couldn't wait to share the good news with him. He sounded to be also in a good mood.

"Hello there," he greeted me. "I was thinking about you all day, ma belle. And next week,” he giggled. “I have so much ideas about the ways we could spend some time together," he began. 

I was listening to him being so enthusiastic and felt my heart ache.  _ Fuck. _ I already knew whatever he has planned will have to wait. 

I bit my lips and tried to sound easy and happy so maybe it sticks.

"Well, that sounds nice. The funny thing is that my sister Greta just called me and you know what? She's visiting me next week," I smiled. However, he didn't really share my enthusiasm, judging by the silence on his side.

"Is it OK?" I asked. "You know how busy she constantly is, we haven't spent quality time together for God knows how long," I said but he only sighed.

"Well, at least we're going to have a common subject," he scoffed.

I rolled my eyes because if anything, then that passive aggressive, ironic, scoffing Charles was the one I hated the most. I needed his supportive version but sadly that was nowhere to be seen. 

"Ok, I guess then I meet you two in France towards the weekend," he said in the end as he somewhat calmed down. 

I was so happy about my sister's arrival that not even that really spoiled my bright mood. I could hardly concentrate on anything else.

I immediately booked a ticket for Sunday morning - wasn’t even checking the prices. As soon as I arrived to Marseilles Airport I sat down and stared at the Arrivals display, waiting for the flight from Stockholm to arrive two hours later like a little child. 

"Greta!" I shrieked as I recognised my sister walking towards me. She looked tired but happy to see me, waving from afar. She pulled her suitcase and as she stopped, she threw herself in my arms. 

"Come on, let's get something to eat and tell me all about your life turning upside down," she winked when she released me and took my hand. 

During dinner she listened carefully for my stories of the last few months. I filled her in with all the tiniest details, so she didn’t miss anything from the big picture.

"God, Clara," she sighed as I finished. "At least, do you enjoy all this?" She gestured around, meaning the whole new lifestyle of mine. 

I shrugged. 

"That's weird," I scoffed. "I mean I enjoy it very much. But this drama, I would sometimes just hide and never come out again," I admitted. 

"I see," she nodded. "But what about Leclerc? Do you love him back?" 

_ Dang _ . 

Greta never needed a smooth introduction. However this question… I hoped it will never occur. 

"I don't know," I said. "I do care about him. And god, I have fun when we spend time together. Yeah, I  _ like _ him very much." 

Greta looked at me from behind her glasses and examined me throughly. 

"I can't ignore this giant BUT hanging in the air," she leaned closer. "Spit it."

I sighed. 

_ Nope, she won’t let it go. _

"It's so complicated. Like from the beginning. Honestly, I don't believe it has to be like this," I said. "It can't leave me alone, the thought that it might be different…," I mumbled incoherently. "God, I don't even want to admit myself, but...," 

"But there is someone else, who might be easier to be with," she finished my sentence with a roll of her eyes. 

"How do you know?" I blinked at her.  _ It was too much of a shot in the dark, even for Greta. _

"Clara, you were basically talking more about Daniel Ricciardo than Leclerc," she told me looking even a little bit impressed.

I blushed from my head to toe, and avoided her looks. 

"I didn't," I started again. 

"Whatever," she waved it away. She sounded a bit strict. “You obviously chose Charles from the two of them, so if you say he is childish and immature - which I have no doubt about, then try to set a good example and act like an adult, finally,” she said. 

I frowned at her because I didn’t exactly know what she meant by that. She looked at me like I was really dense. 

“You have to give him and this relationship a chance,” she said, blinking at me seriously. “He deserves that. And Ricciardo too.” She gave me another, scolding look. 

I watched her for a few seconds then finished up my drink with one gulp. 

_ After all, she was right - as always. _

_ I can’t fool with them around. It is only fair, if we give this a try. Properly. _

That was the reason why I called Charles on Monday and asked him to join us for the rest of the week. 

He agreed immediately, and he already joined us for breakfast on Tuesday. 

He was over the moon to see me, and after a long, loving kiss, he cheerfully introduced himself to Greta. 

“I’ve heard so much about you,” he said. “It’s nice to finally meet in person.”

“I think I can safely say the same,” Great grinned as they shook hands. 

I was a bit afraid at first, but Charles’s previous hurtful attitude towards Greta’s visit was nowhere to be seen. 

After long strolls in the city, laying on the beach and talking long hours, two days later it was time to join back to the circus. 

On Thursday morning, as we arrived to the VIP parking lot Charles walked to my door and opened it, taking my hand in his. He seemed like he thought we were going in together. 

I blinked at his hand, and shook my head. 

“No,” I said. “I promised Christian we won’t waltz around holding hands, rubbing our relationship under their nose all the time,” I protested. 

Charles grimaced, crossing his arms on his chest. 

“Fuck them,” he stated. 

I rolled my eyes at him, and decided to change my tactics. I got out of the car and stepped closer to him, smiling. 

“Go and focus on your work,” I mumbled, as I sneaked my arms around his neck. I could see he was waiting for this, because he reacted quickly. He pushed me to the side of his car, and kissed me. In fact, the tips of his fingers were finding their way under my shirt, and his tongue fought its way inside my mouth. It was a little more demanding as I expected him to be, considering that we were still in a parking lot. I struggled, but managed to lean away. 

“Now, go and I’ll call you when I finish, OK?” I smiled at him. 

“Trés bien,” he smiled back and stole another kiss before he released me. I leaned to his car and checked my phone while I waited for him to walk away to join his team. 

“Clara,” I heard Max’s voice behind me a minute later. I turned smiling, and saw the Dutch walking towards me from the other end of the parking lot. He was with Daniel and god… Martin Garrix. 

I grinned like a fool to see my much adored DJ with my friend but I also felt a little sting deep inside my guts. 

_ Dan _ . 

My smile stayed anyway on my lips as I approached them. 

“I see the reason why you ignored me the whole week just managed to find his way to the Ferrari garage,” Max said as he hugged me. He even let out a grimace. “Good that you sent him ahead, I wouldn’t recommend Leclerc getting in this company anytime soon,” Max stared to the way Charles left the parking lot. 

I felt blushing, but decided to say nothing. It was better to abort the subject. Instead my eyes wandered in the direction of Daniel, who was watching me with a neutral expression on his face. 

_ Did he even say hi? _

“Anyway, please, meet Martin,” Max introduced his friend. I smiled at the other Dutch and shook his hand. 

“Hi Clara, nice to meet you,” he smiled. 

Actually, I thought him to be more open and loud, but Martin turned out to be the complete opposite. He was calm and quiet, still funny. He sticked around our garage for the weekend, so I got a few chance to speak to him. 

My Thursday was spent with the doctor’s training again. I welcomed David with a warm hug and soon, we were knees deep into my spinal damage lecture. It was sadly a common case in racing driver’s accidents, and hence the interest was big enough to spread the length of the training to the early hours of the evening. 

“Fuck,” I said when I realised I promised Charles I’d call him when I finished. The paddock was empty, he must have gone home already.

_ Well, I just finished, right? _

I searched for my phone and dialed him. Soon, I heard the dialing tone but also his ringtone. 

I frowned, and looked up for the source of the familiar sound. I instantly saw him, leaning to the doorway with his arms crossed on his chest. A cheeky grin was hiding in the corner of his lips, as he was watching me. 

“Hey,” I snapped at him. “How long were you standing there? You should have said something,” I grimaced as I watched him walking closer. 

“Well, I was amazed by your presentation,” he said and slipped his hands on my waist. “You were incredible. I’m not surprised that people are jealous of me. And I love that,” he grinned and kissed me. 

On Saturday, Greta accompanied me and I showed her around the garage. My - our - uncle joined us as well, and it seemed my sister’s arrival soothed the tension in our relationship. 

He even smiled as he proudly introduced his niece to his drivers before the briefing. 

“Max, Dan, this is Greta,” he said. 

An evil grin appeared on Max’s face. 

“God, it just started like this the last time too, and look how it turned out, boss” he giggled, and gestured towards me. I felt my face turn red, and poked him in his side with my elbow, hard. 

“It is nice to meet you, Greta,” Daniel nodded, as they shook hands. “Excuse me, but I need to go,” he mumbled, and left to get in his car. 

_ Well, I guess he didn’t say anything to me. Again.  _

I catched Greta’s gaze so I decided to say nothing. Instead I guided her to the closed area where we could watch the Qualifying safely from, not getting in the way. 

_ “And here comes Leclerc, the Ferrari is flying! Just amazing, how these young cubs manage to get ahead of the old wolfs, right?”  _

We were listening to the biased commentators praising Charles in Q3, where he secured pole position. 

“I guess we are not supposed to be smiling now, right?” Greta turned to me. I shook my head, as I tried to prepare mentally for the upcoming rage of Max. He was second, and god I knew how he hated that. Especially after Charles. 

I snuck out of the garage to lurk closer to the Ferrari garage, so I can congratulate Charles. As soon as he noticed me he jogged out and hugged me tight. 

“I did it, god I love you,” he grinned, and was already fixing my lips. 

“No, don’t even think about that,” I shook my head and smirked.

I was not sure what did Red Bull policy said about PDA but it felt right to at least congratulate to my boyfriend for his qualification win. After doing so, I walked back to the Energy Station with a lighter heart to listen to Max’s complaints after their debriefing.

But surprisingly, Max was not the one with the drama of the weekend. 

I arrived back to our hotel to a loud shouting which was audible on the whole floor. It came from my uncle, who was standing in a doorway. 

“Honestly, what were you thinking? Are you insane?” He held his head. “Where the fuck is Clara?” 

I winced, but stepped forward. I had no idea what was wrong with me again, but it was not like I could deny my presence. 

“I’m here,” I said as I reached Christian. I braced for everything, except my uncle’s pleading look as he saw me standing next to him. 

“God, say you can do something with this,” he practically begged me. 

I peeked over his shoulders, and I finally saw what was he talking about. 

We were standing outside of Daniel’s room, where the Australian driver was casually sitting on the sofa with Michael standing on his side. 

I recognised the problem was his hand, which he was holding in his other arm. It was covered in a loose, bloody bondage. 

Considering the fact that he was completely ignoring me if I didn’t count the short glance he let in my direction when I arrived, I stepped forward a little hesitant. 

“What happened?” I asked. 

Daniel rolled his eyes. 

“We were training,” Michael sighed and shook his head. “An act gone wrong,” he summed up the situation. 

“Let me see that,” I said briefly as I took a step closer to Daniel. He didn’t move, so I gently took his right hand in mine, and took the bondage off. 

He got nasty bruises on all his knuckles along with freshly cut wounds. One of his metacarpal bone was surely broken, half of his hand was swollen up nastily. I frowned. I saw such hands, but not after squatting and lifting weights. These were proper fighting wounds. I raised my head to look at Daniel. He was now fixing his hand, so I seeked the information where it actually could be gathered from - Michael. 

“What workout did you actually do?” I frowned. The other Australian grimaced, and shook his head. 

“It doesn’t matter, right?” He sighed. “Damage has been done.” 

I sighed too, he was right. I continued to make the inspection of the limb. I touched his palm as carefully as I could, and I heard Daniel inhaling deep. 

“Did you feel that?” I asked quietly. He nodded. “Great,” I said. His hand felt warm too, so circulation and sensation was not impaired. I asked him to move his fingers, and they worked fine. So it was a simple fracture. I sighed relieved. 

“Well, I obviously need to clean the wounds then I search for a proper brace. You’ll need to use other fingers to operate on the switches, but otherwise you’ll be fine,” I explained. Daniel nodded, with his head still down. “Oh, and I can’t give you stronger painkillers before the race,” I said. “Only non-steroids.”

Daniel shook his head. 

“It’s ok, I’m glad I feel this,” he mumbled. I frowned at his comment, because I had no idea what he was referring to. I looked at Michael who just signed me not to dig deeper there. 

I shrugged and left to find a hand brace for him. 

On my way out my eyes were caught on the bathroom’s closet door, which was smashed in. Its broken mirror pieces were all around the floor.

Luckily, the brace served its purpose well and Daniel was able to drive through the entire race. Of course he didn’t reach the podium, but managed to get some points at least. 

As he returned to the garage after the race, he stormed straight to his room. I saw that even Michael was hesitating in following him. I frowned and walked towards his room. 

“How is your hand? Was it OK?” I asked quietly, standing in the doorway. Daniel nodded curtly.

“I’m flying back to London and show it to a specialist,” he said, not even looking at me. “You don’t need to…,” he sighed and looked out of the window. “You don’t need to come in here anymore,” he said and acted like he closed the conversation with that, completely ignoring me.

I slowly felt I was getting frustrated, even angry, with my blood pressure raising. All I knew that this was not a normal attitude from him, he just can’t act like  _ that _ .  _ Especially with me. _

However, I had no idea what I was expecting him to do instead. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! ❤ without your lovely, kind feedbacks this story would have died at approximately chapter three. 🙇


	27. If I can't have you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, happy race weekend for everyone. Either you are happy or sad about the qualification result, I hope this chapter makes your day a bit more bright 😚 have fun!  
> Ps. I changed the next race to be in Italy due to storyline reasons. I guess everybody can deal with that 🤔

The Italian Grand Prix was always about Ferrari. The tifosi - passionately made sure of that the other teams are basically unheard of this weekend. All the streets of Monza looked like an endless Ferrari gift shop, all the fans were wearing merchandise from every era of Formula 1, and waving flags with the famous black prancing horse. 

I smirked to myself in the car when I turned to Vicki. We just arrived to the city and were heading to our hotel. 

“It will be more quiet, right? Ferrari takes all the job…” I giggled. Vicki turned to me with her phone on her ear, and furrowed her brows. 

“Do you really think they will not go after you?” She asked, looking at me like I was the most naive person on Earth. 

I gazed out of my window and bit my lips. 

Well, maybe they won’t be. With Charles, we decided to take it slow, so I could get used to this whole situation. In the other hand he had to fly to Italy as soon as possible after the previous GP, because they had so much media obligations. 

Since last week, it wasn’t me who ignored the calls and sent the shortest texts. Charles woke up early morning and was up until midnight, he didn't have time to anything else than his job. 

Last night he even fell asleep during our call. I thought it was adorable - but it was bugging him so much that the first thing I saw stepping in my hotel room was a gigantic bouquet of white roses waiting for me on the table.

“‘The fuck is this?” Max shrieked next to me. I felt blush appear on my cheeks, and shot out to reach the bouquet faster than the Dutch. I don’t have to say that he was faster. 

“Ohohoho,” he giggled triumphantly while he hold up the little tag pinned to the bouquet.

"Trouble in paradise?" 

"Fuck off," I nudged him in his side and took the tag from him. 

**_I am truly sorry ma belle, I promise tonight I will be up all night - with you._ **

I felt my blush deepen as I read it and tried to hid it from Max. Again, I failed. 

"Geeez, how cheesy is this? And I thought you are not the romantic type," he frowned. 

"I am not," I said quietly still looking at the note. 

"Anyways, I thought we're watching something together today," he mentioned, and looked away hurted, crossing his arms on his chest. I scoffed. 

"No you didn't. You just want me to be away from him," I said the obvious. Now he scoffed and with a painful grimace he nodded. 

"Yeah. And I guess I'm not the only one."

I looked at him and waited for the rest of his answer. But since he didn't say anything else I also decided to close the conversation and pushed him out of my room. 

So against the Dutch advice, I met Charles late night, he came to our hotel. He looked tired but wad so happy to see me. 

"Hi," he breathed when he reached out to finally hug me tight. 

"Hello," I smiled and invited him inside. He followed me and soon, despite the fact he looked exhausted, he managed to prove his perfect physical condition im my bed. Twice. 

"So tomorrow," he started when we've both catched on our breaths. "There's this thing, a dinner with Hublot. Would you like to come?" 

I looked up at him, my chin digging in his chest. He tried to sound easy but I saw his eyes were full of anticipation. 

"Are you sure?" I asked, biting on my lips. He rested his green eyes on me. 

"How many times should I tell you? I want you to be near me all the time." 

I bit on my lip a little harder.  _ Why did he have to be so adorable? _ I sighed. 

"So is this only for Ferrari?"

The roll of his eyes showed how much it annoys him that I actually care about my reputation in the paddock - at least I didn't want to cause more tension inside Red Bull. 

"Yes it is," Charles said a bit tired. 

In the morning I woke up early. Charles had to be in the paddock around 8, and I decided to join him. I texted the girls so maybe some of them is up for a run around the circuit. 

"I can't watch anything else if you wear this tight short, Clara," Charles giggled while we were waiting for the elevator to arrive. I decided to wear my running gear, and change later to my RB clothes. Sure my running short was tight and apparently it got his attention. I blushed, but it was only the beginning. He reached for the said part, and pulled me closer to him. 

"I wish everyone would see that every part of you is mine," he whispered on my lips and then he kissed me softly. His kiss then became more heated, with his hands still on my behind. 

I had a faint impression about that the elevator arriving but I wasn't sure. Charles sighed into the kiss and after we've heard a loud, and forced cough he teared his lips away from mine. 

The cough was coming from Michael. I caught my eyes upon his surprised and struck expression. And of course, Daniel was standing next to him. They were sweaty and flushed - I guess their morning workout just ended. My gaze slipped to Daniel's hand. It was still in a brace but a different one from the one I used. 

_ Good, so someone took care of his hand. _

Everyone was obviously uncomfortable and that second after which the two Aussie stepped out the elevator was enough for me to blush completely. 

"Hey, good morning," Charles was the next one to break the silence. I wished he didn't say anything at all.

Daniel's face was unreadable until this moment, but now it morphed to a grimace. 

"Yeah," he scoffed. "G'day," he said ironically and took a glance at Charles's hand.  _ Fuck it was still holding me. _ I gasped and stepped a bit away.

The guys walked by, and before the moment the elevator's door closed on us I saw they went in to the room next to mine. 

_ Amazing, could it be more awkward? I doubt.  _

This little scene what happened in the morning gave me extra motivation to run two rounds on the Monza circuit. The girls from Ferrari wasn't available - well, I guess because of their too much media obligations -, but Vicki and Aurelie joined me for my second lap. 

We lightly jogged and chatted the entire time, which felt nice and helped to put my mind off things. At least it would have been nice to do so, but Aurelie smirked at me as soon as she began to run. 

"Sooo, you arrived here with Charles today, ha?

I frowned.  _ How the hell does she know? _

"Don't be amazed, it's all over the fan pages," Vicki explained. "Being Mrs. Leclerc comes at a price," she grimaced. 

"I am absolutely not Mrs. Leclerc, so shut up," I snorted. "And I couldn't be more discreet," I added. 

"Well, I've heard you were practically having sex on the hotel corridor this morning," Aurelie turned to me with a neutral expression. I gasped and blinked at her. 

_ How the fuck does she know that?  _

The English comms manager couldn't hold her laugh in anymore. 

"Clara, your face is priceless. Don't be that frightened I've only heard Daniel and Michael talking about that," she grinned at me but I just couldn't return her expression. 

Deep inside, I was still hoping somehow Daniel became blind for that minute and didn't see us. 

_ Well, there wasn't any real chance for that now.  _

In the afternoon we had our usual, but shorter training for the other doctors - neurological assessment and urgent treatment options. I still enjoyed it as much as they did, I saw their incredible motivation to know more on this area. It was a widely used and must-know part of our job. 

When I finished, Charles was waiting for me again, this time he was leaning to the wall just outside the FIA building, cheerfully talking to Pierre Gasly. 

"Hello, ma belle," he flashed a handsome smile at me. I returned it and walked to them. I greeted the Frenchman, and he hugged me happily. 

"So, congratulation to you," Pierre giggled. 

I frowned at him. 

"On what?" I asked since I didn't know of any anniversaries coming up. 

"On you catching this nerd here," he laughed, as he hit Charles on his head. "He is crazy about you," he added and he totally made Charles to turn crimson. 

" _ Tais-toi Gasly _ ," the Monégasque barked at him, and maybe to hide his embarrassment he stepped closer to me. 

"So did you decide about tonight?" He asked. I gulped because I just rembebered my promise I made in the morning. 

_ Fuck. I guess it's a yes then.  _

The evening at the Hublot party was spectacular. We got ready together in my hotel room and then around 8 we catched a taxi and it took us to the club where the dinner was organised. 

It felt special, the Ferrari and the Hublot logo were everywhere. 

People came to us to greet - well, mainly again - Charles but everyone was nice to me too. 

_ Well. As long as my eyes were catched upon a blonde figure.  _

"Charles!!" Daniela Romani made the most annoying sound and shoot out to come closer, wasting no time to hug my boyfriend and she even took his hands in hers. She didn't say hi to me, completely acting like I was invisible. Not that I wanted to hold her hand as well, but I was clearly standing next to the person she was talking t. I felt my own fingers curl into a fist. 

_ "Je suis tellement content que tu sois enfin là," _ she said and she acted like she didn't saw me but still, continued in her surprisingly understandable English. "You didn't pick up your phone all evening, Charlie boy. Just tell me, are we good for tomorrow?" She even gave him a wink. 

I averted my gaze to Charles who blushed bad in this awkward situation and gave me a side-eyed look. He managed to free his hands from her grip and crossed it on his chest. 

"Yes, we are all good," he murmured with a shy smile. 

How nice that it was enough for Daniela to leave us alone. 

" _ Fantastique _ ," she clapped her hands and let us walk further. 

After few meters I couldn't wait longer and stopped Charles, giving him a look. 

"What the hell was that?" 

He stepped closer, sliding his hands to my waist and raised his look at me. 

"Don't worry it's just an interview," he giggled nervously. "I've given a dozen of them today," he squeezed my sides to make me more calm. I rolled my eyes and since I wasn't very keen on explaining why would I prefer him not giving anything to her, I just dropped the subject and tried to enjoy the rest of the night. 

I almost eased up, when Carles leaned to me and whispered in my ear that he has had enough and wants to leave. 

I sighed and nodded. 

This time we went back to his hotel and before going to sleep, I was long haunted by the image of Daniela holding his hands. 

Saturday morning I woke up unusually cheerful. It was sunny even in the early morning. I snuggled closer to Charles so he'd wake up. It was only 2 minutes to the alarm. 

"Mhmm," he made an adorable noise, but it was obvious he was still half asleep. I started to stroke his hair. 

"Please, let me sleep," he murmured into his pillow.

An evil grin appeared on my face. I've heard these pleads before. 

"Well, Max said exactly the same," I giggled, and tried to lean away from his grip. The Monégasque's head shoot up at once, and he reached to grab me by the waist. 

"He did what?" He asked with his eyes wide. 

And like that in a millisecond, he was fully awake. I couldn't stop laughing, and reached to my phone to turn off the alarm. 

"I just can't believe you slept with him," Charles was sulky even when we said goodbye at the parking lot. 

I rolled my eyes. 

"We slept in the same bed and nothing happened. It could have if we wanted to. But hey, I'm still here, ok?" I smiled at him but he didn't return the gesture. 

"I just don't want to let you near him now," he sighed and was still holding my hand. "Sure you don't want to spend the day at Ferrari?" 

I chuckled again, this time a bit helpless. I grabbed my t-shirt and showed him the RB logo on it. 

"Do you see this? I'm working here, I'm not just a model, walking around the paddock," I said.

"Yes, I am perfectly aware," he winced and gave me a last, brief kiss before he left.

I was still smiling when I reached the Energy Station. Max was talking to Gianpiero, his race engineer, but he jogged to me as I stepped inside the garage. 

"Hey, I wanted to hang out yesterday but you were not in your room," he complained immediately. 

I blushed, and he didn't need more. 

"I see, Leclerc got you again," he grimaced. "And I had to put up with a depressed Australian," he sighed theatrically. "Just tell me when he shows his true self and we can save you," he winked. 

I didn't want to tell him that today morning we had this quarrel just because of him. It would have been too much of a pleasure. 

Instead he got a roll of my eyes, and I wished him good luck for qualifying. 

I stepped into the medical room and I realised it was not empty as I expected it to be. Lee was already in, and Daniel was sitting in front of him, with his hand on the table. Lee was obviously taking out his stitches. 

_ He went under a surgery then. God, then it wasn't just a simple fracture, right? Or they just decided to deal with it like that so he can drive sooner? Fuck, and why he didn't ask me to do this? Last time I was good enough.  _

_ And why are they doing this just before the quali? Doesn't Lee know that the cut is quiet vulnerable after that?  _

I had thoughts like that racing in my head while I blinked at them. Daniel only gave me a glance and returned his focus to his hand. Lee looked at me with guilt on his face. His eyes pleaded for my apology.

I felt the pressure on my chest as I felt anger and desperation build up inside me.

"Well, I guess there's no need for me to be here," I said. Daniel looked at me with some sad puppy eyes but Lee tried to protest. 

"No, Clara I actually," he started but I didn't want to hear any of that. 

"You do what you started, I couldn't care less. But don't come to me after the race if the cut opens up in strain," I said and stormed out of the room.

And there went my good mood away in a blink of an eye. 

I watched the qualification with a frown on my face. I saw that Vicki even didn't have the courage to bother me with her questions. 

The Ferraris were the best on Saturday - which was not a surprise. Hamilton ended up being third, our cars only could secure the 4th and 6th places. 

We didn't arrive with high hopes to Monza, our chances were only justified by these qualification results. 

After the paddock started to clear out, I gathered my things and decided to inish for the day. I walked in the direction of the Ferrari House when I saw Charles skipping happily towards me. 

" _ Mon amour _ ," he grinned, and obviously waited for my congratulations. 

"Stop it," I scolded him. "But congrats," I said. 

"What is wrong?" He asked me concerned. 

Obviously, I wasn't in the same cheerful mood like in the morning. His expression changed at once like he just remembered something. "Is it my interview?" 

I frowned at him.

"No, I almost forgot about it. Did you already do that?" I asked. He blushed so fast I knew something was up. 

"I did," he nodded with some pride im his voice. "You should see it, I think it turned out nice." 

We agreed to see each other in the evening since we both had our own team dinners to attend. 

I returned to my hotel room and laid down on my bed. I opened Youtube and started looking for the said video. It wasn't really hard to find, it was first one in the line. 

I clicked and instantly got goosebumps from Daniela's annoying voice. It was in Italian, but this version had some subtitles.

I almost paused it after the first 5 minutes of giggling and complimenting on Charles's skills and charm, but then the talk took a dangerous turn. 

"So, I heard your life outside the track changed a bit recently," Daniela giggled. Charles instead of blushing and turning down the question before it was asked, he nodded proudly. 

"Yes, it did," he said calmly. "I have a serious relationship as you already know. We are very happy together, no matter what the others want to think," he added. 

Daniela was nodding with her head so fast I honestly feared it'll fall off her neck. 

"Her name is Clara Horner, the niece of your biggest rival team's principal, right? Isn't it a problem in your relationship?" Daniela had her next amazing question. 

I felt my gaze glued to my phone, and watch the grin of Charles. 

"No, I said we are happy together, and the thing is that she's still chosen to be with me over her team's orders means so much to me," he said. 

I gasped.  _ What team orders? Obviously they were not thrilled about us but never ever said to me anything like they want me to leave him.  _

"And I will do anything to make sure it stays that way," he nodded. 

Daniela grinned. She got another chapter of our relationship she could hang out in the window. 

"We could see the nicest love story of yours, rival teams and stuff," she smiled. "We hope you'll be happy together," she said in the end and the video pretty much ended. 

I blinked at the frozen screen.

_ What the fuck? When did we agree going this public? When did I make the faintest remark about me liking the idea of being the subject of his interview?  _

Once again, I felt anger rise inside me. 

I was truly angry. 

_ He even offered Daniela her next big shot of an interview on a silver plate. I just couldn't believe that. _

I dialed Charles's number angrily.

"Hello, ma belle," he answered. 

"Don't ma belle me!" I shouted. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. This day was too much. "Why would you do this? Why can't you just brag about your tyres or right front wing and leave me out all of this?" 

I was so angry and desperate I felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes. 

"I can't talk right now Clara, we are having dinner here," he said but that only made me scoff. 

"Sure, just have fun," I was already crying when I hung up. I felt helpless which was one of the worst feeling for me.

_ He just can't do that. _

After laying on my bed for half an hour and felt the most miserable human being I had a thought and got up, walking directly down the corridor, knocking on Max's door. 

The Dutch opened it with a surprised look on his face. 

"What's wrong?" He asked and opened the door wider to let me in. 

"Please, don't tell me you were entangled in the bed with some Swedish supermodel," I mumbled. 

"Well you'd hear that if I was," he grinned bit of concern in his eyes returned soon. 

"Why did you cry?" He asked, this time with his hands on my shoulder. 

I blinked away my again forming tears, and shook my head. 

"It's nothing," I said. "Just, can we hang out?" 

He was still watching me with his eyes narrowed. 

"Sure. But only if you tell me what he did this time."

I scoffed, because obviously he assumed it was about Charles. 

I sighed and told him about the interview. 

His remarks were not suitable for writing it down. 

"Well, it's better if I don't ask about your opinion," I scoffed. "Just start Netflix already."

Max once in his life chose to shut up, and did exactly as I asked.

We lay down cozily on his bed, and I used one of his ice pads to rest it on my eye. I didn't want anyone to see my red, swollen lids tomorrow. 

We watched several episodes when a knock on the door made us both wince.

"Oh fuck, I forgot," Max mumbled before he hurried to the door. 

Opening it, I saw Daniel standing outside with two beers in his hands. 

On his face I saw true surprise when he realised I was already here. I blushed and I lifted the ice pad from my eyes. I thought I saw a shadow of concern on his face but it was gone so fast I wasn't even sure I saw it right. 

"Nah, I see you are busy," he protested.

"No, please stay, I'll go," I said, and stood up from the bed. 

"Wow, chill out guys, I'm flattered by all my popularity this evening," Max laughed. "Please, Daniel I'm sure you can join us without being burned alive," he added with a side look at his friend. 

The Australian blushed and with an almost shy step, he walked inside. 

"Now, that's what I was talking about," Max continued his incoherent talking. I wasn't really paying any attention to him, I was busy peeking at Daniel through my lashes. I was convinced about him just doing the same. Fortunately the room was dark enough for doing such things. 

"So, I think Daniel, you are only a couple episodes behind, I can explain what is happening so you can join."  _ Max was still talking?  _

"Maxie, nobody understands what is happening, especially not you," I couldn't hold in my bitter remark. I felt my half frozen face turning into an evil grin. 

"Fuck off Horner," Max hit back. "You are laying there acting all heartbroken the whole night, then you stab my heart with your vicious remark," he spit, but grinned himself as well. 

Daniel was silent on the sofa until this time, but this dialogue made him laugh out as well. 

This laugh kind of broke the ice and the rest of the night went so smoothly I was surprised. We watched some more episodes of the show, we ordered room service and talked like nothing awkward has happened between is in the last weeks. 

"I need to sleep," I yawned after we finished our dinner. I checked my phone, and it was around 11 pm. "God,  _ you  _ need to sleep," I looked at the two drivers, both guys were weltering half asleep. 

"Yep, I guess you are right," Daniel stood up and joined me on my way out. 

"Thanks Verstappen for your sweet company," he threw a kiss to his teammate. Max was watching us, and only nodded. His eyes were following us going out. 

Only on the corridor I realised I was alone with Daniel for the first time since our bitter encounter last time. 

"Look," he started to talk.  _ God _ . "I am sorry if I disturbed you today," he mumbled, not really looking at me. I hurried to shake my head in protest. 

"No, I am actually glad you came," I smiled weakly, still unsure of the direction of this conversation. "You agreed with Max to meet, right? Then I was the uninvited guest," I shrugged. He gave me a concerned side look. 

"Yes but I think you needed him more," he said quietly. 

My phone buzzed in my hand. I watched the caller, it said Charles. I declined it. I looked back to Daniel who was now watching me. 

"Well, yes but I can deal with that," I tried to act casual. 

At that moment, as I was gazing into his brown eyes which were finally not watching me with sadness or hurt, but sheer excitement, Charles and his childish behaviour even with his endless charm and dedication towards me felt like a distant memory. 

"Yes, I'm sure we can all deal with that," he smiled back. I was not sure what he was meaning by  _ that _ , but this time we already reached my room so I had no more time to think. 

_ Well, our rooms. _

I sighed, because, yeah. That corridor surely could have been longer. 

"Good night, Clara," Daniel smiled again at me. It still wasn't his usual, wide grin but I felt we were getting there. I returned it with my own, encouraging one. 

"Good night, Daniel," I said. We exchanged another look, and then I stepped in to my room. 

I decided not to return Charles's calls, because that would surely wipe off the stupid smirk from my face.


	28. Drown

_New weekend, new chapter. Who would have thought? 😊_   
_I slightly (barely!) got inspired after the Austria GP. 😁_   
  


Despite the good night's rest, next morning I woke up feeling frustrated.

I knew I had to deal with Charles and our fight early - the sooner the better because in eight hours he will have a race to attend.   
  


I still couldn't believe he decided to give out personal details of our relationship without asking me first. And I knew he did it on purpose - because if he did ask me first then I'd said absofuckinlutely no. But he had to do it anyway. 

I felt I was less and less into this giving the relationship a try thing.

Somehow, my mind wandered to Max and how he grimaced every time I mentioned Charles's name.

And from him, in a microsecond my thoughts sneaked to Daniel. 

I was so relieved he decided to stay with us last night, even though it was obvious he was prepared for a brotherly night with Max. 

I wished hard that we would reach the same level of a friendship that we had before the news about my little romance got surfaced. 

There was a little, strongly suppressed but persistent voice in my head that whispered in my head all the time - maybe I wanted more than that big question mark above us... it was a surprising thought anyway - considering that he was effectively avoiding me for weeks. 

And last but not least, I was still the one who apparently had a boyfriend to talk to. 

I sighed while looking in the mirror, I acknowledged that my eyes were not swollen at all.   
  


I got ready and left to go to the track alone. I was sure the majority of the team were already on their way so I started to look for a taxi.   
  


Well, I got a really fancy one, since out of nowhere a Ferrari shoot out and stopped just in front of me. 

I looked at the beautiful, red car and sighed. There was no more time for avoiding this thing. I opened the door to get inside the passenger seat.   
  


"Hello. Shouldn't you be at the garage already?" I greeted Charles with a frown. As I looked at him I was sure he didn't sleep half as much as I did. His eyes had black circles around and he sighed painfully as he started to drive again. 

"They will kill me. I should have arrived there an hour ago," he murmured, peeking at me every now and then. "But I had to wait for you, since you don't pick up your phone and refuse to meet me in the paddock," he continued in a tired voice. "Clara, I am so sorry. I didn't think before talking to Daniela," him, mentioning the name of that woman made me shiver. 

I realised I was cold to my bones.   
  


"Where is the aircon switch on this thing?" I asked, and was furiously searching for the switch off button. 

"Clara, please would you listen to me for a second?" Charles asked me again, in a slightly more demanding tone, and reached for my hand to stop it from pushing random buttons on the dashboard. 

"I still feel that I have competition, and it frustrates me. Honestly, I hate that you are working at Red Bull and want it to change. I want you so much for myself." He sounded so sure of himself I scoffed even though he might have been a bit right...  
  


"You see competition everywhere, Charles," I sighed and crossed my hands over my chest. "And there's no way I'm leaving Red Bull!" I started to get angry, because its possessive behaviour was sexy first in the bed but now, it got on my nerves. 

"And hey, what if you just act like so I chose you over anybody else?"

_Whoops, that slipped out._   
  


There was a brief silence when only the sound of the Ferrari engine was audible. 

He was driving slightly over the speed limit. First I wanted to scold him because of that, but then as I raised my gaze and saw his serious face I retreated. 

"So what do you want from me?" He asked quietly. 

I bit my lips, and could only focus on the road ahead of us. He was still driving at a pace which felt unhealthy even on an Italian highway. 

"Do you have to drive so fast?" I freaked out. 

"Well, if I want to reach the pre-race briefing then yes, I do," he answered surprisingly calm, keeping his eyes on the road. 

"You act like it is my fault that you are late," I scoffed. 

He chuckled ironically. 

"No, it is never your fault, Clara," he said. "You say I'm childish but you can be pretty immature too, you know?" He looked at me briefly. "Ignoring my calls and all." 

I turned, and looked out of the window. We left the highway and got really close to the track now. I bit my lips and tried to hold back my tears.   
  


"You should decide what you want, because as you see I'm all in to this. You and me. And I want no less from your side," he said once again as he parked to the inclusive parking lot. 

Last time we were here I was so happy in his arms, kissing him. This time I was fighting my tears, my nausea and he was looking at me with equally sad eyes. 

"Well, thanks for the ride," I grimaced and got out of the Ferrari. I deliberately shut the door with more force I should have done, so it closed with a painfully loud bang.   
  


I didn't know why was I crying. I was thinking, already in the car that he - Charles was at least partly right. I didn't know what I wanted and it wasn't fair to him. On the other hand what he did still hurt. I felt confused, helpless, desperate. But mostly - cornered. Not knowing how to get out of a situation, was the most insecure feeling in the world to me. _Maybe that's why I was crying._  
  


I basically ran into my office and silently said thanks because it was empty this time. 

I decided I won't be watching the GP - it wasn't in my job description anyway to attend public screenings in the garage. 

I collapsed on the sofa, burying my head in my hands and took a couple of deep breaths. I vowed I'd come up with a usable strategy by the end of the race.   
  


As a pleasant surprise, nobody was looking for me in the next two hours. 

I was mainly staring to the ceiling and tried to gather pros and cons for dating Charles Leclerc. In the pros there were considerable amount of features of a good boyfriend but still those anonymous cons - I was partly afraid to admit to even myself - felt somehow to weigh more on the scale.   
  


My office door opened and Max stepped inside. He was still wearing his racing overalls and had his balaklava in his hand. His hair was dishevelled and sweaty. 

"So that's where you are hiding," he stated. 

I almost confessed but his sweaty look got me thinking. I frowned and took a look at the clock on the wall. It was quarter to four. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" I gasped. The race was still on for at least and hour or so. 

"I DNF-ed," he shrugged. My eyes went wide and I just couldn't let him leave it like that. 

"What? Why? How?" I asked, but he only shrugged again. He took a seat on the examination table. 

"My fucking PU stuck, and anti-stalled me every other second, that's what, why and how," he tried to act cool but I saw that he was finished for the day. He laid back casually. "Fuck, I'm never going to do it," he sighed. 

I frowned again. 

"What?" I asked and took a seat next to him, despite there was practically no place left. 

"I'm never going to be a World Champion," he looked down, and I started to feel his masked disappointment. 

Despite that, his sentence was so absurd I couldn't hold back my chuckle. 

"How could you say that? Of course you are going to be a World Champion one day," I protested and even nudged him in the side. "Don't be kidding me," I smiled.  
  


"Well, today is not the day it assures me of that," he murmured. 

He seemed so down I just leaned to him and hugged him. I squeezed him tight to show I was there. I didn't care one bit of his soaked underwear or that we were half laying on a medical examination table. I felt him ease in our hug as he breathed out long. 

We were starled out of our peaceful embrace by a soft knock on the door, followed by the instant opening of it. 

It was Daniel.

"Dan, what the hell?" Max shrieked and jumped off the table. "Why, are you not racing?" He asked. 

Daniel looked at the both of us and his lips curved to a shy smile. 

"Well, I thought I'll just lay around here a bit like you do," he chirped. I couldn't hide my smile, even though I still had no idea what happened to him. 

"Don't shit around. Seriously, tell me," Max couldn't be that chill about it like his teammate. Obviously. Daniel sighed and took a seat in my chair. 

"Long story short, _Grosjean_ ," he summed up his race. Max cursed for a minute which we listened to while exchanging looks and grins. 

"Are you not sad or something?" Max blinked at him in awe. Daniel opened his arms. 

"What should I do? I gave in everything, and still I'm here. To be honest we didn't expect much from this weekend did we? Ferrari built a track for themselves and let us race. There is no need to freak out, at least we can go home early," he summed up his opinion about the situation. I was amazed how easy he was taking this and I couldn't agree. 

Although Max didn't seem to share my view. 

"You just say this because you are not only fucking 30 points ahead of Leclerc," he grimaced. I gasped on his bitter remark. 

"Max!" I nudged him in the side again. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot you get frustrated on even hearing his name," he gave me a stab as well. My mouth fell open and I decided I won't listen to this anymore. 

"Verstappen, shut it, before I get angry for real, will you?" I warned him. 

Daniel, who was watching us until this time now stood up and clapped his hands together. 

"Okay, so let's get out this hellhole, shall we?"   
  


Daniel really wanted to fly back to England as soon as possible, but it turned out the team flight is scheduled to midnight - everything had to be packed by that time. 

"Shit, it's too late now to call for a private jet isn't it?" Max asked him grimacing. 

"Yeah, probably," Daniel was thinking hard, but he didn't have a better idea in mind. "We have to wait for flying with the peasants," he sighed. Max laughed out loudly, first time since his race finished early.

"Oh, I always knew you had a little evil deeply buried down there, Ricciardo," the Dutch was cheering up and that made me grin too. I caught Daniel smirking at me with a little guilty look.   
  


"I know what are we doing until that time," Max lowered his voice considerably. "Follow me," he said and jogged out to the paddock. 

"Max, I still have to work," I stopped at the middle of the road, shouting after him. 

He turned back with a roll of his eyes. "Clara, you are _my_ doctor, right?" He asked as if I was the dumb. 

"I am but," I started but he stopped me with a move of his hand to his chest. 

"I already feel my breathing getting hard," he clenched his fist dramatically. 

"Stop it Verstappen," I scolded him, but he just laughed. At this moment, Daniel jogged beside me. 

"Clara, come on he doesn't survive out there without us," he grinned and we left to follow the Dutch.   
  


We took a taxi and in no time we ended up in a pub in the centre of Monza. It was particularly funny, that I think we found the only dirty pub where nobody was sitting except three old men playing backgammon outside - one was the owner of the place. He seemed to be surprised that anyone came in during the time of the GP - there wasn't even a television. 

I secretly checked the standings - Vettel was on lead and Charles was second, but the attention was currently on the two Mercedes, both drivers were desperately fighting for the third place. Well, they only got ten or so laps remaining to decide.   
  


"Geeez, what a lovely place," Daniel looked around. I didn't know what possessed Max but he was already standing at the bar, talking to the owner. He shortly returned with two beers and a bottle of wine - wearing a proud expression on his face. 

"I don't really care how it looks until it sells alcohol that makes me forget this shit of a race," he explained. 

"And do you want to get on the flight drunk?" I frowned.

"Clara, I don't fucking care," he shrugged.   
  


And like that - he of course started to talk about the race. I tried to focus and nod at the accurate times showing my support, but mostly I had no idea what he was talking about. I sipped some wine, and looked at Daniel. He stared to get in the heat of the conversation being the only one really understood what was the topic. 

He, also was supportive, and tried to cheer Max up. I almost forgot that he also DNF-ed - because of Grosjean. I watched the replay in the taxi - it was a nasty collision, he could be considered lucky being unhurt.   
  


Max's loud burp woke me up from my meditation. 

"I have to pee," he summed up his vegetative state and stood up to find the toilet. I rolled my eyes. I saw that those two beers they drank already did their job - he was tipsy. 

"Hey," I turned to Daniel, who looked up from his phone hearing his name. "I am sorry about your race," I said with compassion. "Just you know, Max is the drama queen here," I chuckled. 

He nodded while grinning. 

"Yeah, well. Life happens. Everyone deals with their frustrations in their own ways," he said and I could see it made him thinking further but he didn't care to share more. I decided to finish up my drink and as Max returned - with another round of beers - I was the one leaving to the loo.   
  


"But you see, you lose her with this passionless, chicken like attitude. And now you lost this race too. Danny, you have to man up and get over that shit," I heard Max's moderately loud gibbering when I returned a few minutes later. 

I saw Daniel wanted to answer but he decided not to as he noticed me arriving. 

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?" I asked gingerly, but they only protested. 

"Nah," came the short answer from Daniel's side. 

"Well," Max said. "It was about you, so," he said with a grin. 

I stopped dead, but Max's grin eased my soul after a second. 

"Shit, of course it wasn't about you. It was about..." he sighed long. "Dan and his poor life choices."   
  


I blinked at him, and just couldn't stop grinning. Maybe it was partly the half bottle of wine and partly the fact that yes, I actually could say some things about Daniel and his mistakes in the past. 

"Gee, thanks mate," Daniel grimaced.   
  


We had a great time, and Max's plan seemed to work - the guys got moderately drunk and managed to forget about their failure of a race. I tried to be the sober one - I checked the time on my phone and earlier I've messaged Vicki and Aurelie to say I had their drivers safe and sound.   
  


"God, I'll kill Grosjean," Max shouted in the air. 

"How tragic," I stated without any compassion, realising we arrived back to the start. "Listen, I think we have to leave soon, guys," I warned them since it was already ten pm. 

_God, we were here for 6 frickin' hours? No way._   
  


"It's a shithole," Max shouted before I covered his mouth and pushed him into the taxi we called. I rolled my eyes, and said to Daniel that he has to pay a huge tip to the driver if we didn't want another article, this time about the Dutch shrieking into the Italian evening air that how many times Ferrari team cheated during a race in his opinion.   
  


"Yeah, what can I do? I have to look out for him, right? Little bastard," he grinned at me, referring to Max. The said Dutch was now leaning to the window, and was suspiciously quiet.   
  


I smiled, and eased into the silence that came. It was dark outside, and a cheesy Italian song was played on the radio. l was aware of Max's gentle snoring on my right, but just realised that Daniel's arm touched mine as we sat squeezed together. 

I glanced at him, and our eyes met instantly. He smirked shyly.   
  


"How is the hand?" I asked him. It was a question I wanted to ask first time I saw him this weekend but never had the chance. 

He raised his arm so I can see it better. 

"It serves good," he said quietly then took a deep breath. "And the scar is not that nasty as yours was," he grinned. 

I bursted out laughing because he just couldn't say my stitches didn't turn out lovely. Plus I warned him beforehand, I wasn't a surgeon. 

"Leave me be," I grinned and smacked his shoulder playfully while laughing. "It's not that bad."

"No, it really isn't," he nodded. "To be honest, I like yours much, much more," he added with a small smile.

I felt my cheeks burning, and I was eternally grateful for it being late night so nobody could see me blush.   
  


The way to the airport seemed longer than I thought it would take and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. There were a couple times when I felt my head tilted to the side as I fell asleep - it was a real torture. I sighed, shook my head and tried to check if we still have a long ride ahead of us, but I couldn't make out anything. 

Daniel was still awake, he was on his phone but now he looked at me. His expression changed to resigned after examining my features.

"Here," he raised his arm. First I had no idea what he wanted then he put his arm on my shoulder and scooped me to his side. I took his offer with a happy smile, and snuggled a bit closer.  
  


"I doubt I'd be burnt alive if we stay like this, just for a little while," I think I've heard him murmure something like that before I fell asleep again - this time I had my head half buried in his magically scented shirt. I kind of missed his basic accessory hoodie but still I had a snug smile on my lips.  
  


Not when I felt the taxi stop though. In the same time as Max, I grunted.

"Sorry Cinderella, but we need to catch our flight," Daniel gently patted my shoulder. I frowned at him, and then looked around. It seemed like we really arrived to the airport. 

"I think it's the Sleeping beauty not Cinderella," I murmured to him and shrugged. "But I've never been a big Disney fan anyways."   
  


We made our ways through security with the help of Vicki. She magically appeared when we arrived and made sure that our half sober half sleeping trio actually gets on the plane. 

I couldn't wait to fall back to sleep again, so I pushed my way through the aisle and found the seat Vicki's reserved for me. 

I sat down comfortably, and was more than ready to fall asleep again when I realised Daniel was sitting opposite of me only a row further. 

"Really?" I asked silently, frowning but smirking at the same time. 

He blushed and nodded. His smile was so sweet, I silently agreed to the fact he could maybe watch me ugly-sleep for the next two hours.   
  


The next week passed by magically quick - actually time passed at triple speed when you avoid something and the events making you shiver approaching faster than an f1 car.   
  


I barely texted Charles, this time it seemed like he really wanted to give me space to think and decide what I really want. It was a nice of him and actually a real adult thing to do. What he wasn't aware that him being so distant had the opposite effect - I spent all my time in the factory, and it practically meant I was with Max. 

_And Daniel._   
  


We met every day, and as we joked around, giggled during briefings and talked long even after we finished - all this made me more sure of that I don't want to go all in with Charles. I didn't want to divide myself between the two teams, and especially I didn't want to divide my attention between - _well, who am I kidding? Between Daniel and Charles._

I looked at Daniel, and the now usual, stupid grin appeared on my face. I couldn't even hide it. Not that I wanted to.   
  


As the weekend got closer, I was sure it would be best if I talk to Charles as first thing. After I chewed my lips to rags I sent him a short message saying I'd meet him tomorrow morning at the track. I needed the safe surrounding to help me not give in to his charm and seduction as I always did.   
  


_We need to end things for the sake of both of us. It's not healthy for me and neither is for him. We are not what the other needs._   
  


That was the mantra I kind of repeated in my head as I was driving to the track. I felt confident and strong about what to do. 

I couldn't deny that the pleasant last week helped a lot to establish these thoughts, but I didn't mind.   
  


I even flashed a smile as I walked to the Energy Station. 

"What?" Max asked as he saw me.

"What what?" I frowned at him. He inspected my features for a few second but he couldn't find a clue. 

"What is up with you?" He asked. I didn't want him to brag about me breaking up with Charles, so I just shrugged. 

"It's a nice day," I stated. Max watched me with an even more suspenseful expression. 

"Clara, the radar says there's going to be a rainstorm in ten minutes," he raised his eyebrows. "But I'm sure we don't need to pay a meteorologist to tell us that, right?" He pointed out of the window, to the direction where the nastiest clouds were gathering. I have no idea how I overlooked it, but I didn't really care about that. 

I just shrugged, and continued my way to the garage. 

I had no idea why I didn't go directly to the Medical Office - one could only bet that I desperately wanted to see somebody else, who could give me the final push - away from Charles.   
  


I said hi to some of the engineers of Max, but positioned myself to have a great overlook to the other side of the garage. It was crowded - unusually crowded for a Thursday, but hey, it was the Silverstone GP. 

I wore my brightest smile and looked for another one that matches - but couldn't find it.   
  


"Jesus, it's almost the Press Conference and Daniel is still not here," Vicki sounded far more frustrated than me at that moment, considering the same problem. 

"He'll be here," I wore that stupid, snug smile on my face again, and said it like I knew where he was. Vicki even gave me a frown, but again - I couldn't care less. 

I glanced to a shiny surface in the garage, and fixed my locks for the hundredth time that morning.   
  


"I hope, 'cause if he didn't I'll smack his bony ass real hard," Vicki grimaced. "Last time was enough when you three disappeared into thin air from a _GP_ ," she looked at me still angry a bit. 

"Vicki I said sorry for ten times already," I sighed. "Nothing happened, no article, no drama, we were good pals," I smirked. Despite the fact I was half on my way to broke up with my boyfriend, I felt kind of easy and happy.

I pulled her into a tight hug and hoped some of my just gathered strength would stick to her. 

"Thank god he is here," she released me. I snapped my head up to the direction Vicki was walking now.   
  


Yes, Daniel finally arrived - with Daniela Romani on his side.   
  


First it felt like a power blackout. I heard nothing, felt nothing - only saw the Australian with his usual smile. The smile I was wishing for the whole morning. He greeted his team and Vicki. Then he turned to my uncle and Helmut and introduced that bitch - the very same one giving me hell lately - still wearing his adorable, flawless smile.   
  


I couldn't take my eyes off them. I watched as Daniel marched around the garage with her. She was so full of herself, throwing her hair every other second, and pouting with her red lips. 

As they got closer, I saw they were _holding hands_.   
  


"God, I only told him to let some steam off." I heard Max gasping behind me. I didn't turn back to him. _Because it didn't matter what he told Daniel._

_Nothing mattered. I was late. I was so late as... fuck._

"Ok, then," Vicki's voice was still much concerned despite she now got all her drivers to guide to the press conference. "Let's go! Dan and Max only please," she shrieked. "Here, take your wellies, it's already raining," she gave one umbrella to each guys and she was right. It started to rain, escalating quickly.  
  


I blinked a couple times. _I was late. I was late all morning wishing to see him smile. I was probably late last week when I fell asleep on his shoulder. Shit, I was even fucking late when we were in Monaco._   
  


I felt like an idiot. Really like a stupid, naive bitch. Also I felt a hard sting on my hand, and as I looked down I saw I got my nails dug deep in my skin. _Great, here we go again._  
  


My mind short circuited again, and I started to run. I ran out of the garage, I ran after our team members - Vicki, Max and Daniel. I was out of breath and half soaked as I passed them, but rain was none of my concern.

I was grateful for the Ferrari Team to wear such a nice, bright red colour. For a second I felt like a raging Bull - _how accurate!_ \- searching for the piece of red. I found it, not far ahead.   
  


"Hey Clara, where are you running?" I heard a distant shout of Max's, but again, I didn't turn back. 

The one who turned was Charles, how I was searching with such desperation.

I didn't think for a millisecond, I just ran towards him. I have no idea how he knew what I wanted, but the next thing I realised I already have my legs circled around his waist, he was holding me firmly, and my arms were thrown around his neck. I didn't even look at him or around, just kissed him hard, as hard as I could. I felt him sigh with relief, and eased into our kiss.   
  


If I would have indeed looked around before I kissed the guy I just wanted to break up with, I'd have seen the surprised look on both of our team members faces. I would have seen all the colour go out of Daniel's face, and would have heard Max's curses. Also I could have seen the photographers and journalists passing by. 

But I didn't. _Because I didn't care. I was late._  
  


I felt - again - grateful. This time for the rain to cover all my tears falling down as heavy as the downpour.   
  
  


_Well, let it just be here, because I can't say it's my favourite chapter. Nor did I like writing it. But damage needed to be done before everything gets rebuilt. 🙄😈_


	29. Don't start now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. It is finally here. I loved to write this chapter despite of the delay. I hope you like it too. 😘

Have you heard of the five stages of grief? It is also known as the Kübler-Ross model. Actually it was observed while terminally ill patients have dealt with their fate, but one could see in every situation where someone suffered a great loss. It separated the stages of grief to five steps. Everyone supposed to deal with denial, anger, bargaining, depression - with acceptance in the end.

I felt like I suffered a great loss. But I did it even before I really knew how great that could be. 

_ He could be. _

Honestly, I also felt ridiculous - it sometimes made me smile bitterly as I thought about that.  _ Maybe he never wanted me. Maybe I've totally misread his generally kind behaviour and he was into Daniela from the beginning. I was convinced he only saw me as a friend, or the best friend of his teammate who he occasionally talked with.  _

_ Or… _

_ Or maybe I was the idiot who pushed him away with my act with Leclerc and my indecisiveness.  _

Whatever, it didn't matter now. I just gave in to those stages of grief so they could wash over me sooner. 

Except now, I felt like I got all of them at once. I felt the denial every time I theatrically chose to kiss Leclerc when I've met him and pretended I didn't care about who's watching. 

"Jesus, I feel like I got stuck at Love Island or something," Max grimaced as we arrived to the Hockenheim paddock and the first ones we saw were Daniel with his girlfriend - hand in hand. 

"Except, that they are the most annoying couple ever, so nobody understands why they haven’t been voted out yet," I pouted. 

"I can't believe this. Why exactly does he have to bring her along all the fucking time?" I asked as I watched them with my arms crossed over my chest. 

"And why  _ exactly _ are you this annoyed about them?" Max's face appeared in my field of vision with a suspicious frown. 

"She wrote the article about me," I started but Max waved me down. 

"Yeah I know what she did, you told me before. Also, she made possible for you to snog around the paddock with Leclerc, so practically you could thank her that," the Dutch grimaced again with a sarcastic grin. 

"Shut up," I barked and took another look at the Italian-Australian couple.

_ See, denial.  _

Sure, that I was angry as hell. I was fuming from the second I saw them together for the first time. But now, it was on a different level. I was arrogant and negligent every time it came even to the mention of the name of Daniel. 

"Hi Clara," he greeted me with his widest smile on Thursday morning when I arrived to the Energy Station. Normally, I was actively avoiding him, but that one time my concentration slipped and I almost bumped into him at the entrance. 

He grinned at me like that normally would melt my inside, but this time I casted down my eyes and tried to get around him. 

"Yes, hi," I murmured. 

"Whoah," he stepped in front of me, and blocking my way. "What's the matter?" He asked. His voice was slightly concerned, and I saw he even raised his hand to touch my shoulders but came to a halt mid-air and decided just not to. 

I looked at him. 

"Let me through," I asked him impatiently without any kindness.

"Only if you tell me why are you like this," he even smiled. I could have slapped him right there. 

Without saying anything out loud, I sighed, turned and left him there. I went straight around the building and got in the Medical Room room from the other way. I closed the door, and slipped to the ground, exhaling long. 

_ Maybe, it did happen like this for a reason. Maybe it’s Charles who I need. _

He was nice, and so happy I decided to “go all in” with him. He made plans for us - mainly every day. I’m not saying he didn’t swagger with our relationship - especially when the Red bull team happened to be around - but that I didn’t mind a bit at that moment. 

Those thoughts were racing in my head when I snuggled closer to Charles before the second free practice. I had enough of our team, so I searched for him and found them with Arthur in their garage. 

It was cold that weekend, even below 20 degrees and it started to rain moderately half an hour ago - that’s why I shivered.

“I need to go,  _ ma belle _ ,” Charles gave a peck on my lips.

“Sure, take care,” I nodded and watched him as he started to dress up more to fit for the coming up session.

“Will do,” he winked and lowered his visor.

I looked up to the monitors to check the radar image, but instead of that my eyes were caught upon the television broadcast, where my kiss with Leclerc was just shown. 

_ Fuck. I didn't see the cameras.  _

“Here, take this,” Arthur held out a red coat towards me with a kind smile on his face. 

“Thank you,” I smiled back at him. I put it on my shoulders and decided to stay for a bit, since the practice started but nobody drove out yet. 

Every team waited for the others to go out, bust their tyres to dry the tarmac. 

I felt my throat go dry when as the starter, I saw one Red Bull roar out of the pit lane with the number 3 on it. 

I bit my lips as the broadcast showed a playback, Daniel watching the monitors then looked as he'd had enough, made the decision instead of his engineers and hopped in his car to drive out.

_ Fuck, just take care -  _ I whispered to myself. _ He will be ok, right?  _

I zipped the Ferrari coat up to my chin and glued my eyes to the monitors. 

He was in fact alright, his car was covered in water by the end of the few laps he took. 

In the Ferrari garage people got excited as their rival team's numbers seemed fine enough for them as well to drive out. 

" _ Montre leur, Charles _ ," I heard Arthur cheering next to me to his brother. I smiled, almost every time seeing their gente interactions. Then, I raised my gaze to watch the broadcast, and completely forgot about the fact that I wasn't in the garage I supposed to be. 

"How nice of you to show up," I heard Max's ironic words as I went back to the Red Bull garage after the end of the practice. 

"What? It's not like we would have been spending quality time together," I grimaced with a smile in the end. 

Actually I had a pleasant time at the Ferrari garage, and didn't have any work to do here. He just shook his head disapprovingly, then decided to remove his overall and tie it around his waist. He reached for a cold towel to wipe his face, only then he continued. 

"I need your help," he started simply, but I frowned at his random request, letting him to continue. 

"Dan's birthday is next week and I want to throw him a party in Monaco. Will you help me organise?" He asked.

_No. No way, I won't._ _There is a designed girl for that._

He blinked at me with the eyes of a newborn sheep, and I scoffed from the feeling of being stuck which just overcame me. 

"Max, I...," I started, but didn't really know what to say - only that I won't do it. 

"You always think about the details and I happened to hear that you organised your training sessions incredibly well. So I need that, and also..." he wanted to go on but I cut in. 

"Why don't you ask Daniela? She is his girlfriend, isn't she the one who supposed to throw a birthday party to him?" I asked rolling my eyes.

He looked around and shushed me down. 

"Jesus, no," he lowered his voice. 

"What no?"

"I don't even know her," he stated, like it was suppose to stay that way. 

"It can change," I grimaced. 

"No, it won't," he continued determined. "So you will help?" He blinked at me a few times still so innocent I had to give in. 

"Awesome," he cheered up and left to the debrief. 

I exhaled long and crossed my hands on my chest. 

_ How am I going to do this? And first - why am I going to do this? _

My eyes were caught upon the returning Daniel. He didn't seem too happy with his P3... I didn't understand. It was a good position, especially in the rain, so I frowned at the monitors then looked back at him. Our eyes suddenly met and I could safely say that he didn't look at me like this in the morning. He looked annoyed, even hurt. 

"Danny, you were fantastic, so brave to drive in that cold rain!" I heard the now well known squeak as Daniela appeared. 

I saw Daniel flash his signature smile at her, and his hands pulled her in a hug. 

"Oh, no you are so wet!" Daniela shrieked and pushed him away. 

I've had enough. I scoffed, and walked back to the my office while strongly thinking about how to fake an illness for the next week to actually avoid Daniel's birthday party. 

_ Wait, it was bargaining, right?  _

On Saturday I woke up early. After tossing and turning around for nearly an hour I decided I had enough thinking for a lifetime and decided to go for a run. 

As I sat up I heard some quiet noise on the side of Charles. 

"Where are you going?" He turned to me and reached for my arm to pull me back to the bed. I managed to slip away and only throw him a kiss. 

"I'm going to the track early and run a lap or two," I explained. 

"I'll come with you," he yawned. 

"No, you should rest," I ruffled his hair. "Stay and sleep a bit more, we were up late," I smiled at him, thinking about last night. 

"Are you going with the girls?" He asked curiously. Suddenly it looked like he was wide awake. 

"No, I'm going alone." 

His look was a bit suspicious, but I didn't want to ask him why exactly, so I just left and hoped he won't make the next tantrum about me going on my next run. 

I've heard the engines roaring up in the distance when I was about to finish my second lap. I felt my tights burning up and my breathing was becoming heavy. I was so lost in thoughts I haven't realised it started to rain again. I was already soaked to the bones when I turned on the last corner and decided to cross on the grass so I could enter from a side road to the pit lane. 

Well, it turned out to be the mistake of the day. I slipped on a wet kerb and nearly fell over. My shoes slided on its side and I felt the instant splitting pain in my ankle as I slided. 

"Shit," I gritted through my teeth and I leaned over to examine the leg. It shook with pain when I tried to shift some weight on it. 

_ How awesome. _

I limped back to the Red Bull garage, and headed straight to the medical office. I gritted my teeth at every step, sharp pain stabbed through me each time. 

"Clara?" I heard my name on the corridor. I turned my head back. 

"Yes?" 

_ Oh, it was Daniel. Again.  _

He was with Michael, standing in workout clothes and both had their eyes on me. 

I guess I wasn't the best of views, with my muddy trainers, soaked hair and pouting lips. 

"Gee', what happened?" Michael asked and hurried to my help. He offered me his arm and helped me walk extra slow to our office. 

"I was just running, and well - obviously I slipped," I sighed as I finally took a sit on the table. 

"It's not like the weather conditions are ideal for a run," Michael tried to scold me, but I made him shut up with a glance. 

"Anyway, I go and try to find Lee," he mumbled and with that he quickly left the room. 

I groaned, and leaned back as I saw my ankle is getting more swollen by the minute.

I heard Daniel sigh in the doorway. I didn't even see if he was still there, all my attention was turned to my pain. 

"Clara, I think you run too much. Look where this ends up," he said calmly. 

I rolled my eyes and didn't answer. 

_ Well, he could be right. I was running to think. I was running not to think. I was running because I was angry, annoyed, frustrated or depressed.  _

_ So I ran a lot.  _

He took a step closer, and stopped beside me. He sighed as he looked at my ankle with much concern in his eyes. 

"You already lost weight, right?" he asked quietly. 

"Which you don't even needed to," he looked me in the eye. "It doesn't look… healthy, Clara." 

I stared at him, and it really looked like that he cared. However, I couldn't stand his stare for long. I turned my head to the side avoiding his gaze and exhaled. 

"Well, I need this to cope," I murmured. 

"Yeah, I guess just running each morning for an hour and a half is just your jam," he scoffed. 

I groaned and put my arm over my eyes. I didn't even want to look at him. Or speak with him. Because if he didn't parade all over the garage and -  _ oh, my favourite _ \- the social media with his pretty astonishing girlfriend then I wouldn't feel like I have to breath out my lungs. 

"You can be cynical Daniel, but I think it's maybe not the right moment to start that," I told him bitterly. I heard him keep his breath in for a few moments then let it out. 

"Yeah, right I'm sorry. It's just... that I hate to see you like  _ this _ ," he said, and he put his hand on my arm. His warmth that I felt again on my skin after such a long time made me forget about my twisted ankle instantly. He gently squeezed it, just so slightly it made me lower it down from over my eyes. 

After my safe, covering shield was down I looked at him again. Yeah, he was concerned. 

_ For me. _

His eyes were looking for mine, and I could even see that he bit his lower lip from the inside. 

"I think I could say the same," I mumbled, still watching his mouth. His lips parted now a bit with the sudden surprise as he heard my remark. It was obvious he didn't only mean my hurt state but everything else too that happened recently. 

And I was thinking about the same - only his side. 

He squeezed my arm again, and then slided his hand along my shoulder and my neck further up until he reached my cheek. His hand cupped the side of my face and with his thumb he started to caress my cheek, looking at me with his brown puppy eyes. He wasn't smiling, but his pupils were dilated and fixed on me so focused it made my stomach twist. 

I had to close my eyes for a second to get myself together. 

I had a boyfriend. He had a girlfriend. And with reason. 

_ Honestly, what the fuck is he doing then? _

I leaned to his hand to feel his touch a little more, then I took a deep breath. 

"Daniel," I whispered.

"Sorry, I just…" he mumbled, but didn't take his hand off my cheek. I could see him searching for the right words desperately. 

After a minute of silence, and getting lost in the other's gaze with racing thoughts, the door opened, which made Daniel backing so fast as if he got struck by lightning. 

"Clara, what the hell happened?" My uncle was leading the little group who barged in to the room. 

"Well," I started, still being under the spell of Daniel's act, stupidly blinking at my twisted ankle as if I just discovered my injury. 

"First DNF of the track today," Max crossed his arms over his chest, looking he was proud of his joke. 

I flashed him my most sarcastic smile in return. 

"Don't you have a qualification today to attend, Verstappen?" I asked. 

"I do, but is it even allowed without my doctor?" He asked frowning his boss standing next to him. 

"Sure it is," I rolled my eyes. "And I am here by the way." I opened my arms, showing that I was literally lying on my own examination table. 

"Lee is going to take care of me, right?" I asked my colleague hiding at the back. 

"Yes, sure, until we take you to the hospital," he nodded. 

"No way!" I protested. "I'm going home tomorrow, then I go in," I winced on the thought. 

I knew I can't skip a visit to a traumatologist, but I could at least postpone it. But then, the brightest idea struck me.  _ David _ . He can deal with this, totally. And then I'm good. 

I ordered everyone out of the room, and was left only with Lee. I told him to call for David. 

We didn't need to wait for the FIA's head doctor for long, he came in shortly, even before the qualifying. 

After examining my ankle he sighed long. 

"You are lucky, nothing is torn or broken for sure," he smiled. "But you have to take a step back," he added. "I'll bring you a brace and you need to wear it for 4 weeks at least." 

I groaned, but accepted his opinion. After he left I demanded Lee to give me some more painkillers. I wanted to watch the qualification, but after the stress and those drugs, I drifted in to some light, troubled sleep. I only got woken up by a loud shriek. 

"Tell me you didn't sleep through the whole course of awesomeness I just did, Clara," Max was still holding his helmet in his hand, and looked soaked. I guessed that the session ended and I've slept it through.

"Did you win?" I sat up with my eyes wide.

"Well, it is just Saturday, but hell yes I did," he grinned, and came closer to hug me. 

I held him tight, and remembered that two weeks ago we were in the exact same position, only switched up. I comforted him and now he just did the same. I smiled even harder. Somehow, I didn't care one bit about him being wet and making me too. 

"See, you are amazing without me as well," I patted his back. 

"I am but it's not the same," he answered and I felt my heart go warmer a bit. 

"Clara," I heard a voice in the door. I looked up and Charles was standing in my office's door. "Why didn't you call me?" 

He was also still wearing his racing overall, and looked at us accusingly. I felt Max freeze under my hug, and he released me to straighten up and stand between me and the Monégasque. 

"Wait, did I just miss our team's next signing or am I right and you are still not supposed to step foot in here?" The Dutch asked. 

"You can guess that I wouldn't be here by my own choice," Charles scoffed and peeked over to me. 

"I am still your boyfriend right? Who should take care of you?" He looked over to me and raised his eyebrows. 

He was partly right I had to say. But I was also right when I didn't want to bother him with my whining call just before the qualifying. 

"Guys, please stop. Yes, of course you are. But I had help and you needed to race," I sighed. 

"Oh, like driving a Ferrari this weekend he wouldn't have to try so hard," Max mocked him earning a sarcastic snort from Charles. 

"Wow, someone seems to forget that tomorrow is the race," he answered narrowing his eyes. I started to feel that this thing isn't going to the right direction. 

"Oh wow, hi," Vicki and Daniel just arrived. Vicki greeted the guest from Ferrari with a shy smile.

Daniel only raised his brows. 

"Should we let him come in here? I mean isn't it against team regulations?" He asked Vicki. 

"You can tell me to go directly, there's no need to report me," Charles started to get quiet annoyed. 

"Oh can I actually report you because of this?" Daniel looked at him. They stood next to each other, looking eye to eye. 

_ God, they were the same height. _

"Guys, would you please stop this?" I raised my voice and everyone looked back at me. I had enough of this  _ boy scouts quarrel _ . 

"I need help, not this sensless broadway show. Does any of you know where is David? I mean Doctor Conrad," I asked. "I need a brace to get home."

"Yes in fact he was the one who told me about your ankle," Charles spoke up, still looking annoyed. "He also told me he come here shortly," he explained. 

"Good, then I will wait for him here," I said. " _ Alone _ ," I added with such a heavy emphasis which made everyone leave the room. 

After David fixed up my brace I called Vicki who helped me to get back to the hotel. Charles was already waiting for me there. 

"You should have called me," he pouted. "I could have helped," he said while he helped me to lay down. 

I rolled my eyes and asked him to tell me his qualifying instead of talking about me. He explained in great details Ferrari's struggles in the wet conditions. 

"I'm nervous that we won't finish at the front tomorrow," he said and started to bite his nails, buried in his thoughts. I watched him for a few seconds. 

"Just go to your dinner then, and cheer up your team," I said. 

He looked at me, then to my ankle. Honest disbelief was written all over his face.

"How? You are injured," He said. 

I scoffed. 

"Yes, and hence I'll lay here all evening. Doing nothing. And you have a whole team to care for," I smiled. 

"God," he gasped and his surprised expression made me frown. 

"What?" 

"I just…," he mumbled. "Never had a girlfriend like you," he said. "I'd never expect something so selfless."

It made me laugh. 

"Well, I swore to help others, right? It's my life to be selfless," I giggled. "And I could go to sleep earlier if you leave, so just go already." 

He gave me another impressed look, flollowe by a long kiss. Oy then he left to join his own team for dinner. 

There wasn't 10 minutes that passed when I heard a soft knock on my door. I couldn't really get up to see who's there so I shouted out to adk who was that.

"It's room service madam." A nicely dressed waitress stepped in the room. She held the biggest plate with a whole sortment of desserts and placed it on the nightstand next to me. There were fruits, choclates, cake and some ice cream on ot, beautifully organised.

"But I didn't order anything," I gasped. The waitress had a snug smile on her face. 

"I know. Mr. Ricciardo sent it to you," she said and said goodbye. 

I blinked a couple of times and as she left I looked at the tray again. Next to the plate there was a little piece of paper. 

**Make sure you have all of it. And don't you ever use the kerbs again while running. Please. - DR.**

I read the message twice while I smiled and bit on my lip. 

Then I grabbed a piece of chocolate and ate it. 

_ Hey, did I just reach acceptance? _


	30. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here is the next chapter, a little late but hey, I think we are finally getting somewhere!  
> Also, I am really sorry but I'm not sure about my uploading schedule due to the thousand other things coming up in my life. Anyway, THANK YOU so much for your sweet support, if you wouldn't be like this, I think I'd just stop here.

I can’t say I was a huge help for the team on Sunday. I woke up sore, and tired. I checked my phone, and it showed it was already a little after 8 am.

Charles came out of the bathroom shortly, ruffling his hair with a white towel. 

“I didn’t want to wake you up but I need to go to the track early. We agreed on a last minute briefing with the engineers,” he said simply, giving me a peck. 

“Sure, then I meet you there,” I nodded and threw myself back to the bed. 

I really hoped that someone would help me to get to the paddock, since I wasn’t very confident on one foot alone. I reached to my phone, and called Vicki.

In the end, I got Vicki, Jake and Max as my travelling team, being the English trainer my real chaperone for the day. 

“You need to ice it a bit when you lay down,” Jake reminded me when we arrived in the medical office. “After the start, I can come and tend to it,” he offered. 

I nodded, accepting his help. 

“So what is the plan?” Max asked me in the car. “You fly back with Leclerc then we meet at my place, ha?” 

I bit my lips as I saw the contradiction in his question. 

“Yeah, I guess.”

Of course he rolled his eyes, and looked out of the window. Then, with a shit eating grin he turned back. 

“Fine, but make sure you stay the night again in my bed, so I can mock him with that.”

I couldn’t hold back my grin, but with my mouth I asked,

“Please Max, will you stop this, ever?”

He gave me a compassionate, innocent nod. 

“Yeah, sure. When you break up.” 

“MAX!” Vicki slapped his shoulder, only making the Dutch grin harder. 

I wanted to walk around the grid, but wasn’t able to. I was imprisoned in the medical office with an ice pack around my ankle and with Jake by my side, who brought some kind of balm that suppose to make my muscle ease up and regenerate.

We watched the race in silence, but since it was quite boring, we started to talk. Soon, the topic shifted to relationships - well, their relationship with Vicki. 

“So I have to say I’m very happy with her. I mean - and please don’t tell her that, but I feel I found the one, you know?” He said with dreamy eyes, still watching the television screen. I smiled, as I knew Vicki also loves him, so I couldn’t have been happier for them. 

“And you go back to England together tomorrow?” I asked, kind of hoping for him saying they just come to Monaco with us for the two week gap before the next race. It was funny, because Vicki and Daniel’s birthday was one day apart. We could have celebrated them together. 

“Yes, we fly home. I booked a place next to the sea, to go on a romantic getaway,” he said with a little shy spark in his eyes. I watched him curiously, making him continue. 

“Actually I plan to ask her to marry me,” he admitted. 

I felt my lips slide to the widest grin, and would hug him if I wasn’t crippled, laying on an exam table. 

“Noooo! God Jake,” I shrieked, as he straightened proudly. “It is amazing!”

“Well, it is if she says yes,” he shrugged. 

“Of course she will,” I nodded. “She loves you.” 

He smiled, I smiled and that’s how he watched the second half of the Germany GP despite it being an average, boring one.

I was very happy about Max’s victory, but Charles came in second. At the second pit stop Ferrari tried to undercut the Dutch, but they failed. I saw that Charles was really disappointed after climbing out of his car. Of course Max congratulated him with a wide grin which he accepted with a sad grimace. 

It was time for Jake to get back to his driver, and I was left alone again. 

I heard a soft knock the door not long after the podium ceremony finished. 

"Come in," I shouted so they can enter. A sweaty and tired Daniel popped his head in. I felt my stomach make a somersault. 

"Everything alright?" He asked as if he hasn't just finished a two hour long F1 race. 

"Yes, perfect," I smiled at him. "Thank you for yesterday's uhm…" I stopped, because I wasn't sure what should I say. 

_ The dessert? The letter? Attention? Caring? Jesus. I am just miserable.  _

His smile just slid more wide. 

"It was nothing," his grin then faded a shade. "I hoped it didn't cause any... inconvenience," he added. 

I felt that I blushed slightly. We kind of never touched this subject, our relationship.  _ I mean our relationship with others.  _

I casted my eyes down and shook my head. 

"No it didn't. It was really nice," I murmured. "And I ate it all, before Charles saw that, so don't worry," I added with a smirk that went so fast like it appeared. 

_ Fuck, I said this before I realised how it sounded. It felt like I was cheating on him, and tried to hide the evidence.  _

_ But I didn't right? I've done nothing wrong, I only ate some chocolate. Shit.  _

I bit my lips and looked up to Daniel. He watched me curiously, with a hesitant look, then - maybe he felt my uneasiness - decided to change the subject. 

"So you come to the party?" He asked and I shook my head as an answer. I still felt my cheeks burning up.

"I see," He nodded resigned. "Back to London then?" 

Now, I felt my throat go dry as well.  _ Could we just stop talking? _ It was unbelievably uncomfortable. I cleared my throat before answering. 

"No, I uhm…  _ we _ fly back to Monaco this evening," I admitted. 

I saw him nod again as he realised the situation. 

"All right," he said quietly. I saw that this raised some thoughts, maybe some questions as well, but he didn't care to ask them. 

"Have fun then," he said after a few seconds with a smile. 

"Thank you," I smiled back at him weakly. I didn't want to say to him that we might meet there - I was afraid he gets an idea about the secret birthday party we were planning. Instead sighed heavily as he closed the door after him. 

_ Fuck, that was awkward as hell. _

I scrolled through my instagram while we were waiting for our plane to take off a few hours later. I laid back and tried to ignore the sting in my stomach that was caused by the pictures taken at the party. 

Max was having the time of his life, and he cared to send me some photos every hour. 

**You don't know what you miss out.**

He wrote and attached he sent me a picture of him, with two unknown model-looking girls plus Daniel and - well, Daniela. I felt the choking feeling overcome me as I watched them smiling into the camera. 

_ Why did Max have to torture me? Why does he need to send me the photos showing he is having the greatest time. I already started to have some blurry thoughts about him being best friends with Daniela from now on.  _

_ Jesus, I need to sleep. I am delusional.  _

I grimaced and typed in my response before throwing my phone in my bag. 

**We are about to take off. Have fun with your new best friends.**

I knew it was childish. But I kind of wanted to be there. Also at the same time I was sure it was the last place on earth for me to be right now. I sighed again and laid back in my seat. 

The next second my phone rang. It was Max calling. 

I picked it up, feeling Charles's eyes on me. 

"Hello Max." 

In return I only heard the loud music and some talking in the distance. 

"Hello?!" I tried again. I already had the impression of this being a butt-call when he mumbled the answer. 

"Clara?" He asked. "Don't be an asshole. You also know you should be here," he said. 

I only frowned. 

"Well, I am not," I started but he snubbed me. 

"Yeah yeah I know Leclerc dragged you along. That's what I meant. You should know you are missed terribly here, no matter what," he continued. This actually brought a smile on my face. 

"It's nice of you to say that," I said. 

"Well, it's not me. I'm totally fine without you," he scoffed.

I frowned again and couldn't really say anything to that. 

"See you in Monaco Max," I said and we hung up. I sighed and looked at Charles. 

"What did he want?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"I have no idea," I answered and couldn't have been more honest about that. 

  
  
  
  


"So then how about you don't go anywhere?" Charles asked again when I praised the beautiful paradise like garden of his mother. "I am fully sure Verstappen could hire someone to organise some party. We could stay here and you don't have to travel back to Monte Carlo," he tried. 

I supposed to meet Max that afternoon to arrange the last details of Daniel's party. 

"I promised him I'd help," I answered simply as it was the most obvious thing and no further explanation was needed. 

In the last three days I was on strict bed rest and this was the first day I allowed myself to step on my foot again. Thanks to that, it was kind of okay - at least I wasn't in pain anymore by simple standing. 

"Guys, you can come back here anytime, you know," Arthur sighed next to us from behind his sunglasses. 

All the three of us were sunbathing next to the swimming pool. It was a marvelous day, and I was almost convinced to stay there. The reason why I wasn't - beside of my promise for Max - was Charles mother and oldest brother Lorenzo. 

It was safe to say they were not fond of me and they didn't make a secret of that. I was sure I wasn't the girlfriend they imagined for Charles. 

"So you are 32, right?" Lorenzo asked me in the first 5 minutes we met. I nodded. 

"I guess it's just not fooling around for you, right? With Charles, I mean," he tilted his head in the direction of his brother, who was currently playing football with Arthur. 

"You are well in the age of settling down, starting a family," he looked at me meaningfully. "You know Charles likes the adventure. And takes all the challenges. And he wins them," a proud smile appeared on his lips but soon, it faded. "But it is not the time for him to dedicate himself for anything apart from his career," he finished. He rested his eyes on me, waiting for my response. 

I wasn't sure if I understood him well, but if I did then it meant he just explained me I had to leave Charles, let him be fully committed to racing.  _ What the fuck is this, the middle age? _

I glanced at the two boys again, they were laughing careless, while kicking the ball high. 

It was true I adored Charles, felt attracted to him all the time and loved spending time together. 

But in the same time I always kind of felt that we were not really supposed to be together. 

I had no idea if we could ever make it work between us. But I was sure as hell that it wasn't someone I've known for 5 minutes who was going to enlighten me about that. 

"Well, I think Charles is mature enough to decide what he wants," I mumbled while I crossed my arm over my chest. 

"Are you sure about that?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

I glanced again at the brothers outside, and I just couldn't give him an answer. 

The same afternoon I drove back to Monte Carlo to meet Max. 

The Dutch opened the door and immediately pulled me into a tight hug. 

"God, you are finally here," he mumbled. 

I chuckled and released him but he kept me close. 

"Max we met like 3 days ago," I giggled. 

"Yes, and during that I was SO bored. You with Charles and Daniel with Daniela. Jesus! And I was here, closed in with Victoria," he grimaced. 

I felt a small sting in my stomach at the mention of the Australian-Italian couple. But in the next second I forgot it because from the kitchen, the said sister appeared. 

"Don't pity yourself, Max Emilian! Just because there's a weekend coming up without any drivers for you to insult or manipulate to self-misery, you could have some fun," Victoria scoffed. "Hi Clara," she turned to me with a more genuine smile. 

We greeted each other with a warm hug. 

"Are you here for the party?" I asked her. Lately she spent more time in the Netherlands, working on her clothing line and rumours were circling also about a new guy, working in investment. 

"Sure, wouldn't miss a Danny Ric sweet 30 birthday party," she grinned. "How is the guest list turning out?" 

"I invited Martin and the Fishers. Also Scotty, Dean, Marcus and Nico apart from a couple more I just found on his Instagram," Max giggled proudly, weltering on the sofa.

"Did you use your instagram to find his friends?" I gasped. 

"Shit, this guy is the most popular one on Earth," he snapped. "I also invited half the grid," he added. "Most of the guys are coming." 

I bit my lips. I knew it wasn't likely he invited Charles. But also, I was sure he invited Daniela. 

"And what about his girlfriend?" Victoria fortunately asked the question instead of me. 

"Oh, don't ask me about  _ that _ . She wants to help. With everything. I told her I already have Clara for this, but that just turned out to be super awkward," he grimaced. Victoria giggled, but it made me blush. 

_ Yes, it was kind of super awkward.  _

"So, we have the beer bar and a barbecue set up," Max listed proudly his achievements. 

It was Saturday - the day of the party. Fortunately the weather was perfect, the summer breeze was gently moving the frills of my dress. I was excited - mainly because of the event going well not that it includes Daniel. At least what I was saying to myself. 

It wasn't long until the first guests arrived. I smiled at Pierre and Cate who waved back and came shortly for a brief chat. 

"Everything is so nice," Cate praised the decorations.

"Thank you, but it was mainly Victoria who did it," I admitted. 

"Oh, is Charles coming? He told me we might meet here," Pierre asked out of nowhere. 

I gasped, and suddenly didn't know what to say. I felt like Charles would be happy to join me, but in the end we were in the Verstappen house, and at Daniel's party. He'd never be invited if I wasn't coming. 

_ God, I never thought it would come to that. _

So, I left him home, he was strongly concentrating on driving the perfect Sochi lap when I left. I swear he didn't even take his eyes off the simulator when I gave him a peck. 

"No, he's home and later I think he meets his friends," I said quietly. "So he's not coming." 

"I see," Pierre nodded hesitantly. I saw that his lips opened to ask something else but Cate grabbed his hands and pulled him towards Isa, Carlos' girlfriend. 

The smile returned to my face seeing that both of the Mclaren pilots were able to come. 

"Hey Clara," Lando shrieked from afar. "How is the ankle doing?"

"Thank you, it's better now. Thanks to that I was ordered to have a bedrest for almost a week." 

"I'm sorry. I heard it from Max that you helped with the party. It's amazing!" He smiled shyly as always.

"Yes, well I only kind of ordered him around," I giggled. 

"And you are the only one who can do that," he winked at me. I blushed but I must had to admit we got on well with Max. He was one of - or maybe my best friend. 

I rested my mind deep in these thoughts when Lando - well, almost everyone - started to clap and applause. 

I snapped my head to the entrance, and saw that Daniel just arrived. I could see he couldn't believe his eyes, grinning like a fool and was ready to accept all the hugs from his friends. 

"God Verstappen, I thought you were going to force me to play FIFA again!" he pointed out his teammate in the crowd. 

I felt my cheeks froze in an unhealthy, wide grin. I watched the guys greet each other, while I was just standing in the back. 

"Won't you even go and greet him?" I heard Victoria asking me. I looked back at Daniel, with his girlfriend on his side, and I shook my head. 

"No. I think I'll just slip away, unnoticed," I bit my lips. I thought it'll be better that way for everyone -  _ but especially my heart.  _

"My ass," she looked at me like I was some imbecile. "I won't spend half my night explaining where you went and why was it Charles' apartment," she rolled her eyes. 

I blinked at her a couple times. I wasn't sure what she meant but I could see that the thought itself made her annoyed very much. 

"Drink that gin and tonic of yours and go to him in 5," she almost ordered me. Then she turned and walked back to the house. 

I sighed and looked at the small gift bag on the table. It was my present for Daniel. It wasn't much but I smiled by just looking at it - it brought back good memories. 

I've found an old Spanish Public Space Law Book online. I've searched and specifically marked the part where it was written in much detail that one must not attend a public park after 10pm. It was clearly a reflection when we broke into a closed down public park in Barcelona. The other thing was a bottle of tequila - just because I also got one from him in Baku. That we drank together. It didn't even matter he just left me for some fangirls afterwards, it was the night I realised I enjoyed being in his company very much -  _ more than I cared to admit.  _

I sighed again, and grabbed the bag, heading to the centre of the party. 

Luckily, Daniel was now talking with Max - and Martin with a beer in his hand. Daniela was nowhere in sight. 

"God Clara," his eyes went wide in surprise as he saw me. "I had no idea you are here," he said and gave a side glance to Max.

"Well," I started but the Dutch waved me down. 

"Man, she helped me with everything. You don't think I'd be able to do all this shit by myself," he shrugged. 

"Is this true?" Daniel turned to me, looking amazed. I felt blushing again, but I nodded. 

"But hey, just because of that heap of chocolate," I smirked at him. He returned the smile, showing he knows exactly what I meant. 

"Uhm," I started, but then sighed when I didn't know what to say. “I’ve brought a little something for you,” I mumbled and handed him the gift bag. 

He blinked at me a couple times, hesitating for a moment. Then he decided to open the bag, his eyes opening wide at the sight. 

“Gosh, Clara,” he bit his lower lip in surprise. “It’s awesome. You shouldn't have to.”

“I know. But I sort of wanted to. And that’s the point of presents, right?” I giggled lightly.

“Sure it is,” he nodded, then reached out with both his arms to engulf me in a warm hug. 

I felt him sigh deep while he kept me close. 

“Come on, I want to introduce you to somebody,” he said, and grabbed my hand to pull me along through the crowd. I followed him, although I had not much idea about who he wants me to meet. 

We shortly stopped at a fair, brown haired woman, who was laughing with the snowboarder Scotty James. She noticed us, and they stopped talking. She had the same curly hair as Daniel. 

_ God, it’s his mother! Wait, did we actually invite her? Why wasn’t I warned? _

“Mum, she is Clara,” Daniel stepped next to me, giving me a kind side-hug. “Clara, she is my mum, Grace.”

I felt blushing and sweating at the same time, but I returned her smile and shook her hand. 

“Clara, it’s so nice to meet you finally. I’ve heard so much about you,” she looked at me, still smiling. 

As if I wasn’t uncomfortable already, that and Daniel’s guilty look made me turn crimson. 

_ What could have he told her? _

“So I’ve heard you helped Max with the planning?” she asked. 

I nodded, and we started to talk about the details we organised starting from inviting Daniel’s favourite brewery to secretly figure out what was his program for today would be and how can we insert the surprise. 

“Daniel sweety, I think someone is looking for you,” Grace frowned, looking at the distance somewhere behind our backs. 

I turned and saw Daniela just recognising us, already heading our way with her perfect body squeezed in an awkwardly short dress, throwing her long blonde hair to the side.

I couldn’t suppress my sigh, as she stepped to his boyfriend, grabbing him by the waist. 

“Finally, darling!” she chirped. “I was looking for you everywhere. Oh, hi Grace,” she grinned to Daniel’s mother, who gave her a polite smile. I wasn’t surprised that she just decided to ignore me. 

“I am so sorry to leave you, but  _ Vic _ asked me to help in the kitchen. And I just forgot about time while we were gossiping,” she giggled. “She is so nice, and beautiful!” she added, as we haven’t had too much information already. I could imagine almost anything about Victoria but the thing that she was gossiping with Daniela. 

I strongly resisted to roll my eyes, and peeked to the side, looking for a route to escape. 

“Wow, what is that?” Daniela asked Daniel about the gift bag he was still holding in his hand. 

The Australian blushed, and wanted to answer but his girlfriend was faster acting. 

“Who did you get it from?” She peeked inside, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “What is this old book? God, someone just found you a one Euro worth of gift for your 30th birthday in a second hand shop? How embarrassing!” She squeaked. “Well, just wait until you see my present,” she giggled again and winked at him. 

“Here, let me hold it for you, honey,” Grace smiled again and took my present from the embarrassed Daniel. 

_ I decided I just had enough. How could she be like that…? _

“Well, I have to go,” I flashed them my most polite smile I could fake. “It was nice to meet you Grace.” I nodded at Daniel and Daniela too, and stepped away. 

“Hey, Clara,” Daniel turned after me. “You are not leaving, right?” In his eyes I saw the concern, but I already felt the tightness in my chest, and had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying. I shook my head briefly, and even managed to smile again. 

“No, I’m not,” I lied and when I saw him get relieved to see that this little scene didn’t break my heart, he let me walk away. 

“Clara, hey come here,” I heard Victoria’s voice calling after me. She was sitting on the porch, talking to Pierre and and Cate. I walked slowly towards them, trying to gather myself on the way.

“We were just talking about program ideas for tomorrow,” Cate explained enthusiastically. “My uncle has a yacht, so we could wander around the area.”

“Indeed! And also, we could invite Charles too,” Pierre added. “I think we can spend the night aboard, so we can even visit Sardinia! We are heading to Russia, we won’t see much there anyway.” 

“That sounds amazing,” I smiled. “Although, I’m not sure this lot will be able to gather themselves in time for that,” I smirked at the loud crowd, drinking and dancing carefree. 

“Oh, don’t be a spoil,” Victoria waved me down. “We go tomorrow, and spend the night, take a tour on Monday and return for Tuesday morning,” she shrugged. 

“It is actually reasonable,” Pierre nodded happily. He hugged and kissed Cate as if it was already a big achievement, and grabbed his phone from his pocket. “I’ll send out the inviting messages.”

I had my head full of my racing thoughts and was still desperate to leave the place. I was honestly tired. In the last days I helped Max a lot, and when not then I was trying hard to prove myself for Charles’ family. I also felt my ankle being a bit sore. 

“Excuse me guys, I really wanted to stay but I feel terribly tired,” I told them, and settled up to leave. We all agreed upon being in touch, so we sort out this idea of the tour. 

I sneaked towards the exit, but I was - again - stopped by Pierre who jogged after me. 

“Hey, sorry,” he mumbled. “I just only wanted to say that I am happy for you.”

I frowned at him, not really knowing what he was referring to. 

“I mean you and Charles,” he added. “You know, he needs somebody like you so badly. You are realistic, down to earth. Somebody he can rely on. Plus he really loves you,” he explained. He looked grateful and honest. I smiled and thought about how nice it is from him to say those things. He was a sweet guy, and a very good friend of Charles. 

“I know, Pierre,” I smiled. “But thank you for ensuring me of that.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he hugged me and we said goodbye. 

On the way home, I had mixed feelings harbouring inside me. I was thinking about Daniel, and his grateful smile while he opened my present, followed by the image of Daniela’s disgusted look. At that moment I also regretted throwing this whole party. On the other hand I was happy to meet Grace, she seemed so nice, and approachable.  _ God, she was the complete opposite of Pascalle!  _ Also, I had this constant sting in my chest after talking with Pierre. It was a sting of consciousness.  _ Does Charles really need me that much?  _ I had this thought in my head while I opened the door of Charles’ apartment. 

I found him still sitting in his simulator, still practicing for Sochi. He had his earphones on, and haven’t noticed me. I walked closer, ruffled his hair gently. He glanced at me with a questioning look. 

“What are you doing here so soon?” He asked. 

“Didn’t feel like staying,” I shrugged, and squeezed myself in his lap. 

He hugged me and breathed in deep. 

“So, tomorrow we go to Sardinia, right?” he asked with some newly find enthusiasm. 

“I guess we do,” I only answered him a minute later. 

I still wasn’t sure about this being a good idea. Honestly, I had a strange, bad feeling about that trip. 


	31. Love me less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII everyone. 😊 I'm so happy I finally finished this chapter! It was a tough one to write, mainly because I wanted it to be perfect.   
> Well it isn't. But hey, nothing and nobody is perfect. So, here you are... 😘

Next day I woke up late but well rested and felt to be in a good mood. I’ve realised how late it was when I saw Charles was already gone. It was past noon when he returned. 

"Good morning  _ ma belle _ ," he smiled and planted a kiss on my lips. "I brought you breakfast," he put a bag in front of me. 

I can't say I wasn't flattered when I saw the croissant and the coffee inside. 

"Thank you so much," I started to munch immediately. "Don't you eat?" I asked him after destroying the first half of the pastry. 

He grinned, and shook his head.

"No way, I had my protein shake in the morning and worked out with Andrea. He ordered me to maintain my diet no matter the spell of yours," he explained while he removed his training shirt and headed to the bathroom. My eyes sneaked to inspect his perfect figure, his sculpted abdomen and muscular arms. 

"God, you make me feel being such a waste," I sighed. 

He giggled while he shook his head and left to have a shower. 

"You can always join me if you want," he said before closing the bathroom door. 

I laid back in the bed and checked my messages while sipped on my coffee. 

I was curious about Vicki and Jake, I was wondering if he asked her already to marry or he left it for her birthday. I bit my lip in excitement as I typed in my text to her saying happy birthday. She should call me when she feels like. 

I saw that I’d got two unread texts, one was from Victoria telling me that I should be ashamed of myself to leave her at the party alone. I scoffed, because I was dead sure she had enough fun anyway.

The other one was from Daniel. 

**Where are you?**

It was sent long after I left. I scoffed, and left his message unanswered. It wasn't like it was still an actual thing. 

_ In any sense. _

As we've agreed with the others we met at the pier in the late afternoon, so we'd get onboard and see the sun set over the horizon looking back at the city of Monaco. 

Saying that Cate's uncle have a bigger yacht was an understatement. It was a  _ huge _ one - and could accommodate over 20 people comfortably. 

" _ Bonjour les gars _ ," Charles greeted the hosts, Cate and Pierre were standing at the stairs smiling. " _ Merci pour l'invitation _ ."

"You are welcome, have fun," Cate waved us to get inside. "Here is your room key, just get settled while we wait for the others," she handed me a key. 

We got on the yacht and set to find our cabin to put down our bags. It was around the middle of the boat, and the inside of the room was also spacious and comfortable. 

As soon as we’ve settled in, I heard some familiar sounds from the other side of the wall. 

"Geee' man, that's what you call a yacht! Wow. Just wow." 

_ Daniel. _

"Yes, it's something." 

_ Gosh I could see Max' so-not-amazed expression in my imagination. _ I snorted. 

"Oh don't be an asshole, you can show me you're impressed."

"Well, actually my cousin…"

"Hello Max! Hi honey!" That was the point I rolled my eyes and continued my way to the bathroom. 

I wasn't interested in listening to the conversation what included Daniela Romani, no matter what. 

Soon, we heard a knock on our door. Charles got up from the bed and hurried to the door. 

As he opened it, a surprised Max appeared. He blinked like he'd never expect Charles to be in the room. 

"Hi," he mumbled. "Where are you hiding my doctor?"

Charles scoffed and didn't look like he wanted to step away from the door. I leaned out from the little bathroom, frozen, watching the scene unfold. 

"Oh, I thought she is your friend," Charles answered in an arrogant tone. 

There was a brief, but deadly silence, after which Max giggled sarcastically. 

"Yes.  _ The best _ ," he put a heavy emphasis on his words. It sounded like it was time for me to finish my hiding. 

"Well," I heard Charles speaking. "My  _ girlfriend _ is in the bathroom."

"It's ok, I'm here," I put my hand on Charles' shoulder to calm him down a bit. The two guys looked at each other like two dogs ready to fight. 

_ Gosh, sooo immature! _

"Hey Max," I smiled at the Dutch stepping in front of Charles. He looked relieved, giving me a half smile. 

"Finally. As much as I enjoyed chatting with  _ your boyfriend _ , I wished to see you and not him. Come to talk?" He raised his eyebrows, stepping back to let me out. He clearly didn't want to be in Charles' presence. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder before I stepped out. 

“Darling, I don’t want to be late from the dinner,” Charles said with heavy emphasis, so it basically meant I shouldn’t spend much time chatting with Max. 

_ Well, we are heading into such a funny 36 hours!  _

"Hey," I smiled at Max as we were alone on the corridor. He leaned to the railing and looked at me. 

"I swear I'll punch him one day," he let out a long breath, and seemed relieved to finally see my door close after us with Charles staying inside. "Why did you go home last night?" He asked out of nowhere as he turned to me with a questioning look. I blinked at him a couple times. 

"Because I live there?" I chuckled lightly trying to not take the serious turn of the conversation. Sadly, I only got an eye roll in return. 

"Cut the bullshit, Clara. It was your party as well. You worked so hard to make it happen, you should've enjoyed it," he sighed. I crossed my arms on my chest. 

_ Yeah, I should have. But I didn't. _

_ And it's fine.  _

_ Right?  _

“Did he call you home?” He tilted his head, lowering his voice as he was speaking about Charles. “I guess he hates that you are hanging out with us and have some fun,” he accused the Monegasque. 

“No,” I hurried to protest. Sure, Charles hated I hung out with Max but it wasn’t like he's ever forbid it to me. 

“It wasn’t like that,” I continued with a sigh as the close memories from the night before flashed back to my mind. “I just..” I started, but the opening of the door next to ours made me stop. 

Daniel and Daniela stepped out, holding hands while giggling like children. I catched Daniel’s gaze for a second, and remembered his text - I was eternally grateful for not answering. 

His Italian girlfriend giggled loud again as she saw us. 

“Oh hi for the famous duo! Would you like to join us? We decided to have a drink or two with this  _ bad boy _ here,” she winked at Daniel and I immediately felt my stomach flip. It also was accompanied by a slight feeling of nausea. 

“Well, I just couldn’t stay. Maybe you now see why,” I mumbled to Max quietly, and I walked back to our room after excusing myself. 

A little later, when we changed and rested a bit we joined the rest of the group already partying on the deck of the yacht. Charles’ hand slipped on my waist, and stayed there. I also felt his cologne engulfing me entirely as he hugged me. He always tended to be touchy but he kept me extra close since we left his apartment this afternoon. 

“Oh here are the lovebirds!” As soon as Cate saw us she and her sister, Federica hurried to make some room for us on the sofa. The Masetti Zannini girls were extra nice, and we had a pleasant chat. They got on well also with Charles - they knew each other well from before. 

I laughed about their shared stories, and had real fun. 

“And did you hear about the one time we were in Macau with F2?” Pierre asked, already chuckling, not like Charles who turned white, all the blood disappearing from his face at once. 

“ _ Non _ ,” he said. “ _ N'ose pas Pierre _ .” From his voice, I could tell he didn’t want to share the story, which made me giggle harder. 

“Why not? It’s funny!” Pierre asked. 

“What’s funny?” Lando came closer, hearing about something funny just coming up. 

“Apparently, I have no idea,” I frowned at them. Charles still shot deathly stares towards his friend preventing him from exposing the matter. 

“Oh, is this about the one race where Charles pissed himself?” Lando asked innocently, but I bursted out in laughing. Charles looked at me with a guilty look and a red face. 

“The race was soooo long!” he tried to defend himself, but everyone just continued to laugh at him. 

Meanwhile Lando realised he exposed the story, and turned the same red colour as the Monégasque. 

“Whoops,” he smirked. “Sorry man,” he looked at Charles, but he just waved him down. 

“I’m out of here,” Charles sighed a bit hurt, and said he goes and tries to find something for us to drink. 

Soon, he returned with two gin and tonics and it was followed by a couple more until it was my turn to go to the bar. On my way out I saw Daniel was talking to Carlos, but on his side there still was Daniela hanging. I rolled my eyes and continued to walk, desperate to leave the scene. 

I ordered the drinks from the bartender and turned to head back - only I nearly bumped into the Australian. 

“Hi,” he casually greeted me as if we just met after a long time. His eyes were cheeky as he grinned. I almost hated him for that, he looked exactly like he hasn’t broken my heart several times recently.  _ Or every time I look at him.  _

“Hi,” I frowned. His grin somewhat faded as he saw his presence is maybe not a pleasant surprise for me. 

“I,” He started with a deep breath, somehow seeming to be a little lost. “I was searching for you yesterday. And you haven’t answered my text,” he mumbled. 

I sighed, because I didn’t want to bother myself with last night's memories -  _ again _ . 

Honestly, I felt like all the times I had a bit fun, reality bit my in the ass. No matter that it was Charles, Daniel, work or something entirely different, I had no escape. The thought of never being able to feel carefree and unbothered made me angry, desperate and sad at the same time. I grimaced. 

“Yes, I know,” I nodded, “I'm sorry,” I said in the end shrugging. I saw his gaze getting darker, and his lips not smiling from his heart anymore. 

"I see," he mumbled. "Care to talk?" He asked after a brief silence. He looked me in the eye with his brown orbs and I saw such anticipation I just couldn't say no -  _ but god, I wanted to! _ So I sighed and nodded. 

Well, I had no idea what he wanted to talk about, especially with his girlfriend probably watching us from a safe distance. 

I followed him anyway, with my heart throbbing in my throat. He finally stopped at the side corridor of the deck, just a away from the noise and crowd. I've already had a few drinks - I also saw him drink some beer - but it certainly wasn't enough to improvise in such circumstances. I bit my lips as I turned to face him in the deserted, half lit corridor. 

"So, why did you leave yesterday?" He asked simply, with his eyes - again - fixed on me. Now he was close, much closer than he needed to be. 

_ Fuck _ . 

His eyes were searching for answers, and I gasped - also searching for an answer. 

_ Again, I couldn't lie to him. _

"I didn't feel like staying," I admitted, and casted my eyes down. It appeared to be a fatal mistake - Daniel stepped even closer, and now he was barely talking, more like whispering in my ear.

"I loved your present," he said and I saw his shy smile even without looking at him. 

"It brought up my best memories of the last month."

What he said surprised me so much I snatched up my head to look at him. Our gazes met and we stayed like this for a few seconds - or hours, I didn't really check the time. All I knew that I was lost in those brown eyes and that shy grin of his. 

I knew he didn't exaggerate - despite winning races, having a new girlfriend and all in all being a world famous racing driver it honestly felt he really guarded our stupid memories as the most pleasant ones.

I felt my heart flutter in my chest, and my stomach sunk down to my pelvis. 

_ Shit. I'm a mess. _

_ What the hell are we doing anyway? _

I took a deep breath. 

"I'm glad you liked it," I said with a half smirk and little nod. I even managed to step a bit away from his spell. I sighed again, feeling a bit cold instantly as he wasn't that close at once. 

"Hey," he reached for my arm as if he just woke up and realised I was ready to leave. "Are you going back?" 

I bit my lips, because - _yes, I was, Daniel._ _Before it was too late and I’d never be able to, never again._

"Clara," he continued, his hand still on my arm. I felt the warmth of his fingers again, sending waves of shiver up my spine. 

He slowly slid his hand down, stopping hesitantly at the level of my waist. By the same time, his eyes darted from my eyes to my bitten lower lips. He himself took a deep breath again before speaking. 

"I'm not sure I'll be able  _ just _ watch you any longer." 

His orbs were dangerously close now, still focused on my lips. His eyes were now deep, dark brown - almost black.

In the distance, I heard some noise of the party, but it was nothing compared to the sound of my own heartbeat.

I felt him leaning in - and I didn't make him stop. I gasped as his lips reached my left cheek, and he planted the most gentle kiss on my face. He took a deep, heavy breath before he continued to talk in a husky voice. 

"I just can't, no matter what I do to take off my mind of you," he said so quiet I wasn't even sure I was hearing him correctly. 

He squeezed my arms again, as he sighed painfully once again. 

I closed my eyes automatically to feel his touch better, but I couldn't make myself to answer. I kept my eyes closed, and still felt his breath on my cheek and his hands on my arms. We stayed like this for a couple seconds more - neither of us wanted to leave. 

"I think it's better if I go," he whispered. 

I nodded hesitantly, shakily breathing in his scent once more, trying to preserve it for later, for more heartbreaking times. 

He sighed again, this time a bit forced, almost angry. He slid his hands to mine, and squeezed my palm, then finally letting go. 

I immediately felt the heavy pressure in my chest, and my eyes teared up as I was standing alone on the dark corridor. 

_ Jesus Daniel _ \- I thought as I looked at the direction of the party. Why did he think it was absolutely necessary to fuck up my feelings once more? 

Damn, I had fun back there. I was just enjoying myself, but he had to drag me to a dark corner and whisper in my ear some profanities about his supposed affection for me. Then all he dared to give me a loosey kiss on the cheek. Then headed back to his girlfriend.  _ Fuck him.  _

I wiped my teary eyes with the back of my hand angrily and scoffed.

_ He is just playing with you. He must be, but breaking your heart twice in 24 hours was more than enough. _

I soon decided to end my misery and join back the party. Strangely, I didn’t see Daniel for the rest of the night. 

"Ma belle, come here," Charles scooped me in his lap as soon as I arrived back. I spent the rest of the evening with him, Pierre and Cate. We talked until late, then staggered to our room to have a couple hours of rest before the next day’s tour on the island of Sardinia. 

  
  


Next morning at breakfast the cheerful atmosphere remained - although I realised something odd. Max was missing, and when he turned up, he acted quite strange.  _ Cheerful. Satisfied. _ Also, Cate’s sister, Federica was missing, and joined us much later, only slightly later than the Dutch driver. I frowned, but decided to keep the observations to myself. 

We docked at the pier of Alghero, a small but picturesque village in Sardinia. The sea was azure blue and crystal clear, but no matter how much I wanted to stay at the beach, I had to say Cate was right when she ordered everyone to join the little trekking tour she had in mind. That place had much more to offer than only its beaches and I was curious to explore all that could fit in that couple of hours. 

“So,” I smirked at Max when we were already hiking up to San Marco Cape. 

“What?” He asked, a bit nervous, exactly as he had something to hide. I chuckled.  _ He was such a bad actor! _

“So, what did you exactly do between 3am and breakfast?” I pushed the subject. 

He gave me a look, and the tip of his ears turned red instantly. I catched him steal another look to the direction of Cate’s sister, then he turned back to me. 

“Well,” he began, but I waved him down. 

“You know what, you don’t have to say anything. It was more than enough,” I smiled, and accepted his hand to help me take a bigger step on the way between the rocks. 

“It was really nothing,” he murmured after a while. “Just having some fun,” he shrugged. I snorted and nodded. 

I wanted to stick with Max on the way, but I felt Charles’ eyes following us constantly. I thought it was OK to spend some time with my friend, as he was also having some fun with Pierre and Lando.  _ Well, looked like we didn’t think the same way.  _

Soon, Daniel jogged ahead and joined us.

“Oi guys,” he smiled cheerfully. It would have been totally OK on a simple day in the paddock just before qualy, but after yesterday night, I frowned at him without saying hello. He must have seen my confusion, because a flash of an apologetic look appeared on his face before turning to Max. 

“Mate, you disappeared last night so early,” Max accused him, punching him in the shoulder. 

“ _ Ouch _ ,” he frowned, shrugging. “Yeah, sorry. I kinda wanted to clear my head a bit,” he explained. “You know, away from the crowd,” he added, but he was already looking at me again. 

“Oh, give me a break Daniel!” Max scoffed. “You just had enough of that  _ gorgeous _ girlfriend of yours.”

Max’ comment made Daniel blush, and it actually made him shut up as well. I didn't even hide that my lips curved to a nice, snug grin. 

We've just reached the highest point, so we waited for the others to take a couple of pictures, and adore the spectacular panorama. 

Soon, I was joined by Charles. He was touchy all day, and this time was no exception. 

He walked to us, and gave me a long kiss on my lips. It was quite embarrassing, since I knew probably the others were watching. He wanted to deepen it even more, but I turned away. 

"Charles, please," I mumbled. 

"I know, I know," he sounded a little hurt. “Now, are you ready to accompany your boyfriend on the way down?” He asked, whispering in my ear, then giving a small kiss on my temple. 

I gave him a small nod, and he guided me to the front, so we led the group down the mountain. Turning away, I had a glimpse of Max shaking his head at us, gesturing to Daniel. 

“Listen, I try to respect your friendship - or whatever you have with them, but you can’t ignore me all the time,” Charles said as we were walking alone. He gave me a serious look, and squeezed my hand. “I love you too much to let go all the time,” he smirked. 

"In fact, I can't wait to get back to the jacht to be alone with you," he said and gave me another kiss. I just couldn’t return it. I looked away and dedicated all my attention to the scenery.

Later, we all had lunch together in a small restaurant in the old town. 

“Daniel, let’s take another photo!” I heard Daniela’s voice from the other side of the table. 

“Wow, don’t we have enough already?” The Australian asked the girl, who stood already up, pulling his arm to pose with her. 

“Nooo,” she insisted. “I’m sure Lando would take another photo right? Since  _ Maxy _ didn’t want to help us,” She gave her phone to the young driver, who obviously wanted to have a chat with Isa, but he shrugged, and agreed. 

“Sure thing,” he giggled. “I’m more of a professional photographer than him anyway.”

I had enough of this scene, but I saw I wasn’t the only one. Max rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms on his chest, being on his phone and looked completely being bored by the events.

After lunch, we decided to head back to the beach, and spend the rest of the afternoon there. 

I've settled down next to Victoria, when Charles also joined us. 

"Clara, mi amore," he smiled and, gestured to his lap, inviting me to sit there. 

I blinked. I didn't really understand why should I lurk around him all the time - and why was he this needy all weekend. 

"Charles," I started, clearing my throat. "I'd just like to have a little chat with Victoria," I mumbled with a nervous laugh in the end. 

I saw him wrinkling his nose, and get up grudgingly. 

"As you wish," he barked, and walked away to join his friends. 

"God, is he like this all the time?" Victoria asked, watching me from behind her sunglasses. 

"Well, mostly," I grimaced. "Especially lately. This weekend he is extra clingy." 

"I'm wondering why," she scoffed a bit ironic. I frowned at her with a questioning look. 

Victoria removed her glasses and looked back at me. 

"Clara, did you ever think about that Charles...," she was stirring her cocktail slowly while clearly thinking on what to say. "About that Charles is sometimes using you to get back at Max?" She asked. "And well, obviously Daniel, I think we can't ignore the elephant in the room much longer."

I blinked a couple times because I had never thought of that. Okay, I did, but never thought really that Charles would consciously use me for making others feel bad in any way. 

He loved me in his own needy, romantic way, and just tried to grab every opportunity to show it. 

"I don't want to read more into something that's not there. But you should think about that in this business psychological warfare is a good old way to make somebody win or lose a few races or a whole championship," she grimaced and sipped from her cocktail. 

I averted my gaze to rest it on the sea and buried myself in these thoughts. 

I was positive about Charles' overall good intentions towards me. But at the same time I wasn't sure Victoria was entirely wrong about him using our relationship for a little extra benefit. 

"Clara, you'll get nasty wrinkles if you grimace this much," Max laughed as he and Lando walked towards us. They just returned from having a dip in the sea. 

"I already got them, chaperoning you," I giggled back.

"Now, we were thinking," Lando started proudly. "We want to party today," he said, almost with a serious tone. 

Victoria and I laughed out loud. 

"Yeah, like that worked so well for you last time," Victoria snorted. 

"Hey," Lando whined. "Don't bring  _ that _ up!" 

"It's OK mate, we've all been there," Max patted his shoulder.

"Yes, we were," I nodded. "So, what did you have in mind?" 

"Nothing much," he shrugged. "Just chilling, music and some barbie," he giggled at the Australian word he must have picked up from Daniel. 

"Good, I'm in," I smiled. 

"Sure, except we do this all the time," Victoria murmured as she settled for a sunbathing session. 

"You are incredible Victoria," Max barked at her. "Always spoiling the fun."

"I'm having so much fun little bro, you can't imagine," she giggled. 

Later, as we returned to the yacht I could see that Charles was still upset because what I've said. I tried to make up, but he just turned away every time I got closer. 

"Charles, please," I mumbled as he buttoned up his shirt. "I just wanted to have a little time away." 

He scoffed ironically, like the way I hated the most. 

"Yeah, and that only includes me, all the  _ fucking _ time," he hissed, not even looking at me. I gasped at his swearing, because it was rarely he spoke that way. 

I blinked at him, as he closed the distance between us. 

"I don't know if you remember, but we are in a relationship, and it shouldn't bother you to be in my presence," he said, looking at me intensely. His eyes were full of hurt - it made me forget to breath. Then he kissed me hard, maybe to make me remember that I was his girlfriend. His lips were demanding, and harsh, teeth biting on mine. I sighed into the kiss, as the bitterness of guilt rose in my chest.

"Come, we can sit there," Charles guided me through the deck, to joint the company of Lando, Pierre and George. I followed him, and started to have a light chat with the boys. 

The Red Bull drivers were nowhere to be seen, only around 10pm they came up to us.

Max sent me a message earlier to join them, but I had a feeling that speaking with the younger drivers about some Goat simulator and compensating Charles still would be more fun than watching Daniel and Daniela exploring each others' mouth - even if that meant ignoring my best friend and Victoria too. 

When they finally came out I was glad with my decision. Max joined immediately Cate and Federica, squeezing himself between the two girls. 

Victoria headed to the bar, probably to order another cocktail for herself. 

For a second, my eyes were also caught upon Daniel. He rested his hand on the waist of Daniela, who was on her phone - it was no surprise, she was on her phone  _ all day. _ Daniel’s eyes turned to meet my gaze at once, making me freeze. He looked at me, then Charles, then our entwined hands. An almost unrecognisable shade of anger appeared on his face but he turned away before I could make sure I saw it right. 

"Come on Clara, let's dance," Charles pulled me by the hand when the sun set and the atmosphere eased up, getting more people on the dance floor. He led me to the middle, and we began to sway slowly to the music. 

“That’s actually nice,” I smirked, because I loved the song and Charles danced professionally, leading me with firm movements. 

“See, it’s not that bad,” Charles whispered in my ear, and pulled me a bit closer. 

For the next song, I saw Daniela dragged Daniel next to us, and even arranged his hand the same way Charles got his. I scoffed, and was desperate to turn away so I leaned on to Charles. I almost eased in to the position but with the next turn of our bodies, my eyes were met again their figures. This time, I saw Daniela kissed him, and he returned it quite enthusiastically. 

I rolled my eyes, and felt some nausea again.  _ How can he? _ I scoffed - this time because I had enough of my own whining. 

_ He’s got a girlfriend, Clara. And seems like he enjoys the time spent with her. So stop being a masochist, and take care of that gorgeous boyfriend of yours. Fuck, million girls would kill for your place!  _

I sighed and blinked a couple of times - after which my eyes were met Daniel’s. He watched me curiously, as he really wanted to see what was on my mind. I grimaced, and snuggled closer to Charles. 

_ You can’t do that to me Daniel. Not now. Please, I beg you to look away. _

“What about we just go back to our room, hm?” I heard Charles’ words in my ear.

Daniel was still watching us - well, mainly me -, so I nodded furiously, and let Charles led me off the dance floor, straight to our room. 

_ Wonderful, it couldn’t be more obvious that we are escaping the crowd to bang.  _

Two hours later I was still laying on my back, and was thinking about that day. Charles was fast asleep next to me, snoring lightly. I couldn’t take my mind off what Victoria told me earlier, him showing off with me. And that thought was followed by Daniel’s strange behavior. Our encounter last night made me confused as hell, especially after I saw him being closer with his girlfriend than before. 

I didn’t know what to think anymore. 

I tossed and turned for at least another half an hour, when I decided to take a breath of fresh air on the deck. I didn’t hear any noises from the outside, I assumed the party must be over. I walked to the corridor barefoot in my pijama. It was a bit chilly like this, but as I leaned to the railing I breathed in the salty, fresh air. I almost felt it clearing my mind as well as my lungs. It felt so calming I smiled into the darkness. 

“Hi,” I heard from the dark, and I felt my heart skipped a beat. I gasped, and turned to see who was lurking on the corridor this time of the night. 

I saw a very tired Daniel step next to me. He also leaned to the railing with his side, and turned to me. 

“Gosh, what on earth are you doing out here this late?” I asked, still feeling my heart racing in my chest. He laughed out.

_ He was drunk, just slightly. But he also looked exhausted. Haunted.  _

“I could ask you he same,” he said simply, taking a glance at the horizon before looking back at me. “Why are you not with your boyfriend?”

It was my time to giggle bitterly. 

“I could ask you the same,” I mimicked his previous words. “I’m sure Daniela is already misses you like crazy,” I rolled my eyes. I think it just became a reflex every damn time someone mentions her name. 

“She’s sleeping,” Daniel mumbled, and took a step closer. “Why are you like this? Every time she’s around you get annoyed,” he continued to wander to those dangerous fields I’d never think by myself. Luckily, I had the instant answer at hand. 

“I told you, she wrote that article about us - full of lies,” I mumbled, but seeing his face made me stop. He was standing close, like real close. He had to look down to me, and I had to turn up my chin to face him. 

“Yeah, you don’t have to tell me, _ that _ made my life a fucking hell for a long time too,” he said with a sad smile as he stepped closer again - which I thought wasn’t even possible. 

“What?” I asked as I had my breath trapped in my chest in anticipation. 

“I was a mess, Clara. I was such a mess,” he continued, his eyes were fixed on mine, and he let out another sad half smile. I grimaced, because I could feel his desperation.

“I’m sorry,” it was all I could say. I wasn’t even sure what were we talking about. 

“Me too,” he sighed. He rested his eyes on my features for a few second. Then, he lifted his hand, and put it on my shoulder. I felt it slightly shaking, as he slid it upwards, along the line of my neck. It was almost he waited for me to make him stop. His warm, shaky touch made me shiver, and I closed my eyes. He coupled my cheek, slowly caressing it with his calloused thumb. I heard him taking a deep breath. 

This was the last thing I remembered, because the next was the feeling of his warm, plush lips on mine. I gasped, still not believing what was happening. But there was no turning back. 

He kept my face close with one of his hand, and with the other one he swiped me to the most gentle, protective hug. I leaned to the railing, and gave my everything to mirror his moves. 

He leaned to me, our bodies pushed together, and I gasped as I felt his heartbeat was matching mine's pace. He licked my lips, asking for more. I let his tongue slip inside, deepening the kiss, pulling him closer. The touch of his tongue was the moment I thought I’d moan loudly. Maybe I even did. I didn't really want to think any more. Or talk. I wasn't even sure if that all was really happening at that moment, but for a dream - it was amazing. 

I only wanted to taste him, to have him finally close, and bury my fingers deep inside his beautiful, crazy hair. When we finally parted to catch on our breath, he looked at me with a clouded gaze, and a half smirk. 

“God, mostly I’m sorry I didn’t do this the first time I saw you in that elevator in Bahrain,” he whispered before leaning in again, and continued from where we left off. 

We didn’t talk more, there was no need for that. I wrapped my hands around his muscular neck, and he swiped his hands along my side. His hands weren’t shaky anymore, in fact, the knew what exactly were their job to make me feel losing my mind. 

I don’t know how long were we standing in that corridor, entangled in each other. I just sighed in our kiss again, when he leaned away at once.

“Shh,” he whispered, and put his hand on my mouth. I looked around worriedly to see what or who’ve caught Daniel’s attention. 

_ Fuck, Clara, you’ve been here before. Do I never learn? _

We saw a tall figure stealthing down the other half of the corridor, sneaking out from one room to enter another a few doors farther. 

Daniel hugged me closer to his body - maybe to hide me, but after the figure disappeared he looked back at me with a confused expression. 

“Whose room does Max sneaking in this late?” He frowned, but I only scoffed because I exactly knew. 

“How on earth did you see it was him?” I asked. It was pitch dark, only the emergency signs were lit up. In the distance, the light of Monaco were recognisable, but still so distant they didn’t help much.

“I got flawless vision,” he stated proudly, grinning. 

“It’s Federica,” I said simply. Maybe I got shitty vision, and wasn’t able to exist without my contact lenses but I knew what was happening with my friends. Daniel’s eyes opened wide in surprise. 

“Fuck, I didn’t know about them,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s very serious,” I sighed, because this just got me wondering what the hell were we doing at the moment. I was still hugging him like my life depended on it, and he was whispering from an inch from my lips. Before I could get to the end of the thought, he kissed me again, so casually like we did this all our lives.

_ No, we can’t do this. No matter how fucking amazing is this, we can’t. Just can’t. Fuck.  _

“Daniel,” this time I leaned away. “We can’t,” I murmured on his lips. 

“Shh,” he calmed me, and continued to kiss me completely undisturbed. I let myself melt into his arms for a minute while I gathered all my willpower to stop him once again. 

“We have to stop this,” I said, and tried to step away to emphasis my words. “We can’t do this...,” I replied. “To them,” I sighed and gestured to the closed two closed doors just next to us. 

I felt like he wasn’t listening at all. He was too busy kissing and caressing me. I positioned myself to look directly into his eyes, giving him a look. 

“Hey,” he murmured, and began to plant the smallest kisses in my hair. I even heard him inhaling long, and it made my job even harder. “Just let me not think about reality for another minute, OK?” he mumbled, giving me a kiss over my collarbone after every word. 

I shivered, and almost gave in. Actually, I’d have if his hand didn’t slip up one half inch under my shirt. His warm fingers almost burned my skin.

_ Fuck, Daniel. One inch more, and I’m done. It will be the death of me.  _

“Right,” he slowly nodded and released me. “You’re probably right,” he breathed.

“I should go back,” I murmured, after giving him one last look. 

He was watching me with his hands crossed over his chest, and I had the impression that despite his words we were not of one opinion.


	32. One thing right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there. 😚  
> Welcome to the ride again 😄 Almost nine thousand words and one billion thing happening. Let's see where the rollercoaster stops this time. 😉

Well, Russia wasn't one of my favourite destination anyway. 

I just told that to Charles when we landed at Sochi Airport, and I realised it was raining, and the wind was blowing like there was no tomorrow. 

"It's only four days, and we're back to Monaco, don't worry," he said as he grabbed my hand and didn't let it go despite the dozens of paparazzis waiting for his arrival at the other side of the walls. 

I never liked the attention that came with our public appearances, and I tried to avoid as much as it was possible. 

"You shouldn't be this nervous," Charles murmured, with a smile on his face. "You are my girlfriend, so they have to process that." 

I wasn't sure it couldn't have been more discreetly organised or the whole couple's thing couldn't have been treated better. 

For example Sebastian never brought his wife with him. And it was still fine by everyone. 

Okay, I was working in this world too, so it wasn't an option for me not to attend the races but we could have been more closed up about it. 

_ At least I wanted us to be. _

Anyways, Charles insisted on me flying in Sochi with him, and as I was haunted from the pangs of consciousness because of… Well, because of recent happenings, I agreed to accompany him. 

"God, why are you not coming with us?" Max pouted when we said goodbye in Monaco twenty-four hours ago. "This is your team!"

I smirked at the Dutch friend of mine. 

"It's not part of my job. I checked my  _ very _ detailed contract. And you know, Charles is my boyfriend," he nodded as I reminded him of the obvious. 

"Still?" He glanced at me with his most disappointed look. I had to laugh out. 

"Yes, still," I nodded. 

"It's a pity," he sighed. "Sometimes I think I should just hit on you myself because it's such a shame, Ferrari basically stole you from us." 

I snorted loud at what he said. 

"Sure," I giggled while I hugged him goodbye. "I'm positive you wouldn't bear me as your girlfriend for a solid five minutes." 

He looked at me truly offended. 

"Why?" He whined. "We make a good team." 

I scoffed again, because the thought was the most absurd idea, ever. 

"Yes. That's why we'd never, ever going to risk what we have," I nodded. 

"Bye Clara," Max nodded a bit still offended by my words. "Just message me and I'll get you out of there" he sent me a serious look. 

"Bye Max," I laughed at him. "See you in a bit." 

I saw  _ them _ at the airport when we landed. 

In the private area of Arrivals, there he was, wearing his travelling grey training pants, which I thought for a strange reason to be adorably awesome. 

Daniela was on her phone - again, not a surprise - while he was giving out autographs for his fans. 

I felt lucky that I could have avoided meeting him this long after we kissed. It was two days ago and since then we haven't met. 

This 48 hours I spent dealing with the worst feeling of guilt, and self loath. I felt as a terrible person, using both Charles and him for my own good. 

Also, it was very immature not to be able to control my overpouring emotions. 

But at the same time the feeling of him holding me close, smiling faintly while taking one last, shaky breath in, kissing me with his warm, soft lips was popping back to my memory. 

_ All. The. Fucking. Time.  _

Even that morning, at the airport while walking next to Charles, the first thing was that I noticed his smile, as he giggled at a little girl, giving her a high-five. 

_God, he's even posing with kids now._ _That is not fair._

I truly felt dizzy just by the sight. I felt my stomach make a somersault before our eyes met. He blinked, and within a second he looked at Charles and also at Daniela.

_ Yes, they are called our partners, Daniel.  _

I waved at him briefly, but didn't say hi, nor walked there. I gulped and continued my way outside following Charles, to search for our transport to the Ferrari hotel.

I met the rest of the team later that day, the first was Vicki, who ran to me, embracing me in a tight hug. 

"He asked me!" she mumbled while hugging me. "Jake asked me to marry him!" She grinned like a fool, and I could only do the same. 

"And what did you say?" I asked, but of course I already knew the answer. 

"Yes. What else? Have you seen his abs?" 

We both giggled like teenagers, and I felt truly happy for her. 

We chatted a bit about their plans, Vicki saying they planned to have the wedding soon, maybe right after the summer break. 

"We plan to have a nice little gathering with friends and family, nothing too fancy," she explained. I promised I'd be there and offered my help with the organistion if she needed that. 

"Thank you so much, I'd take you on your word," she said and gave me another hug. 

I heard a nervous little cough behind my back, and as I turned back I saw Daniel standing there, patiently waiting. I frowned, but Vicki was faster acting. 

"I need to see if Max arrived," she mumbled, and was ready to leave me there. I silently begged for the Dutch to magically turn up, so this whole situation which was seriously threatening to happen can be avoided. 

"He did, I just saw him in the cafeteria," Daniel said, pointing to the direction where he just came from. 

Vicki murmured "thank goodness" and hurried away. 

I gulped as we were left alone. 

"Hi," he said quietly. It was the most simple greeting, but his one word had so much hidden behind it. His eyes were searching for mine, examining my features, as if looking for clues. 

I felt a new wave of guilt flashing through me, flipping my stomach. I crossed my arms on my chest, and finally was able to say "Hi". 

His expression changed slightly as he saw my uneased behaviour.

"Are you alright?" 

I casted my eyes down, but nodded. Well, obviously it wasn't alright between us, but I didn't have the slightest idea if or how can we fix the situation without fucking this whole mess up for good. 

"Hey," he spoke again after a heavy sigh and he stepped closer, raising his hand to reach for mine. 

" _ Daniel!" _

We heard the sobering shout from the end of the garage. 

I saw Daniel directing the route of his hand to scratch his nape, and he turned to the source of the noise. It was my uncle who was desperately searching for his driver. 

"Good god, you're here. Come, I'd like you to meet someone," Christian said in a bossy tone. 

"Aye sir," Daniel nodded at him. "Just one sec!"

He turned back to me with an apologetic pout. 

"Go, duty calls," I smiled somewhat disappointed. 

We clearly needed to talk at some point about what happened. 

But maybe the Red Bull garage wasn't the best place to clear things - or maybe it was. 

Safely, guarded by the curious glances of our coworkers, we could surely avoid anything to happen again. 

Because - well, because obviously  _ that  _ could never happen again. We were both in relationships, and just ignoring that fact was unacceptable. 

_ Right _ ?

_ God, I'm such a mess _ . 

"Yeah," he grimaced. "Damn him." 

I couldn't hold back my laughter. I giggled and looked him in the eye. 

"Listen," he continued lowering his voice. "We should talk." 

"Yes," I nodded again. "We should."

"I'll come back soon," he promised with an encouraging half-smile and jogged back to the garage. 

I watched him disappear and decided to head back to my office to find whatever I could to take my mind off this impending talk. 

Thanks to Dr. David Conrad, soon I forgot entirelly that such thing as my lovelife even exists. 

"Hello David," I picked up my phone immediately as I saw that the FIA head doctor was calling. 

"Hi dear," he answered. "It's so good you picked up." His voice sounded cheerful at first but then I felt something was off. 

"So you're in Sochi already, right?" He asked. 

"Yes." 

"How lovely," he giggled nervously. "So, I have to admit I had the most unfortunate thing happen to me this morning. Just before my flight!" he sighed, and it had me quite nervous. 

I really hoped nothing bad happened to him and he is just calling to reschedule our next training. 

"So I've ridden my e-scooter and I fell," he jabbered. I gasped. 

_ OK, maybe there was something wrong.  _

"Oh my god, please tell me you are in one piece!" I asked him, but there was a long silence on the other end that got me suspitious. 

Well, if he was calling then he should be fine. At least I hoped so, from the bottom of my heart. 

"Yes, I'm all right. But it appears that I've broken my arm," he said. 

"God David!" I sighed, silently cursing those damn scooters. It wasn't enough that last weekend Toto Wolff almost hit me, but now more and more people used them around the track. I found them too fast, dangerous, and especially demasculinising. "Is it bad?" 

"Well," he began. "I probably need some stitches and an operation. I'm just waiting for my friend, Patrick to return with the results." 

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry David," I groaned and my thoughts were already speeding to find a way to help my dear colleague somehow, but I stopped at the mention of the familiar name. 

"Wait a second," I gasped. "Are you talking about Patrick Jost? The Patrick Jost, the head of Trauma Department at Northampton General?" 

There was a happy chuckle at the other side of the line. 

"Sure, and he sends his best wishes to you," David said. 

"God, you should have told me earlier. I could have travelled back and put you to sleep for the operation," I grimaced, realising the missed opportunity. "I still have my contract."

"Oh no, no my dear Clara! Actually I didn't call you to feel sorry for me. I wanted to ask you something else to help with. You have to be my substitute for the last two races of the first half of the season," he said in a calm way like it's already a done deal. 

I was the complete opposite, my head was buzzing and I felt like everything else became blurred. 

I could only think about the huge responsibility and the possible catastrophic accidents that I need to deal with as a leader in case. 

I couldn't say anything for a few seconds, totally overwhelmed with such thoughts. 

"Clara," I've heard somewhere in the distance. 

God, what if it's somebody I knew?  _ What if….? _ I'd just die right there. I could not do anything useful. 

There must be someone else for this. 

"Clara," I have heard it again, and realised the line was still on. 

"Yes?" I asked absentmindedly. 

"You are going to do even better than I'd do it. I'm sure of that," he said. I felt my lips curve into a faint smile. It was nice of him to say that, even if it was a complete nonsense. 

"Well, I have to go to lay under the scalpel," he said lightly, almost giggling. "And I also need to make some calls before that," he explained. "Jean will be in touch with you." He added and hung up. 

I just stared out of my head and wondered how could I tear myself up with stupid kisses and love triangles if there was so much bigger problems in life. They seemed miniscule compared to the things I had to deal with instead of David. Starting immediately. 

My afternood duties made sure of I was occupied. Jean Todt, FIA director called me ten minutes after I said goodbye to Dr. Conrad. 

The Frenchman was nice and offered his help with everything, accepting it was a last second notice for me and surely needed some guidance. 

We agreed to meet later that evening at the driver's meeting. 

"So," my uncle started with a heavy sigh when I found him. 

Actually he was talking with Max when I stepped to him, wearing an apologetic expression. 

"Clara, looks like we have to stick with Lee for the upcoming weeks," he said while I saw Max listening and getting confused next to him. 

"What?" He asked his boss. "Where are you going?" He turned to me.

"I'm not going anywhere," I smiled at him, but the kindness was not returned. 

"She's going to be the FIA head doctor for the next month or so," Christian summed up the situation instead of me which I was actually grateful for, seeing Max's frown accompanied by a painful grimace. 

"You can't let her go away all the fucking time Christian! Next time she joins Ferrari?! Or what?" He scoffed and left us alone with my uncle. 

"Jesus, why is he so damn hard to manage?" He groaned. I smiled again watching the Dutch driver disappear in his room, slamming the door in the face of Jake who followed him with a pair of rubber bands. 

"I feel like I didn't leave my kids at home, they are still running around here in the garage," he sighed. I smirked at the thought, Christian comparing his toddlers to Max and Daniel. 

"He will get around, just let him cool down first." 

I had my first obligation as David's substitute in a couple hours. In the afternoon I met the medical team, and checked the car and also the equipment. 

It wasn't like we haven't met before, but the roles changed and as I had all the responsibility now I looked at that car in a different light. 

"Thank you for helping us out again," Jean looked at me during the team principals' meeting. 

As I looked around I saw serious eyes, vut also some encouraging nodding. 

_ Damn, what am I doing here? _

"Now, let's move on to the changes made on the track for this year, all based on last year's complaints" he continued. 

"There was no complaints, Jean. Only observations on our side," Toto Wolff said in a dead calm voice. His face was eased, no emotions, and I had the feeling I was watching a shark patiently swimming around before it attacks and kills its prey with one simple move. 

"So is this still horribly boring track?" Günther Steiner asked and it made all the room laugh. 

I was listening, but it was mostly about tyre management problems and pit lane traffic questions, very little stuff concerning the safety of the drivers. 

I almost got bored when the meeting was over. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to finish up, and make some place for our drivers," Todt stood up and closed down the meeting. 

"See you around Clara," my uncle squeezed my shoulder and hurried after Andreas Seidl to ask something. 

Soon, the drivers filled the same room arriving after their bosses left. Pierre waved to me happily, just as Lando did as soon as he recognised me. 

"Clara," Charles gasped as he saw me sitting in the room. "What are you doing here?" 

"I have to substitute for David," I shrugged. He looked at me with disbelief as he took the seat next to me. 

"I don't like this," he murmured. "You being in a car on the track." 

I rolled my eyes. 

"You don't start this please," I asked him. "Max is already enough, having a tantrum about it."

"As well as I'm proud not sharing much qualities with him, it looks like we have the same opinion about this," he said, and squeezed my hand. "Take care, OK?" He asked giving a kiss on my temple. 

Max and Daniel arrived together, speaking to each other in a serious tone. The Australian was the first to recognise me. He sent us both a look, and I wasn't sure his eyes narrowed at the sight of Charles and me sitting together or it was just my mind making things up. He sat down in the front row, followed by Max, who only sent a death stare to Charles before doing so. 

I felt he still resented me, so I decided to find him in the hotel that evening, to make it up for him. 

"Welcome again gentlemen," Todt smiled. 

"First of all I'd like you to know that Doctor Conrad was involved in an accident and while he is recovering, this promising bright doctor, Clara Horner will fill in his post. I guess you all already know her," he smirked. 

"Well, some better than the others," Vettel said just loud enough for everyone to hear then he cleared his throat to hide his comment. There was a childish wave of laugh following. 

"Sebastian, please," Todt sent him a look. 

"It's for me. He is always after me." I heard Charles mumbling next to me. 

Max' hand was raised high in the first row. 

"Yes, Max?" Todt pointed to the young Dutch. 

"Is it possible for the FIA to hire his own staff and not to steal from actual teams?" 

The FIA director's eyes went wide after hearing him. Then, after a second the Frenchman looked at me. 

"Doctor Horner, would you switch jobs?" He asked. 

My heart missed a beat. 

"No, no, no," Max protested in a terrified voice. "It doesn't work like that." 

"I thought so. Well, then let's just skip this subject and let's talk about speed regulation in the pitlane, because I think it is still not clear for some of us," he continued. 

I said goodbye to Charles, saying I'd probably spend the night at the hotel where the Red bull team and Max stayed. I even refused his offer to take me there, because I felt like hop into the office to check my medical bag once again before tomorrow. 

I tried to remain calm, but every minute I had a new thing in mind, thinking about how could I deal with my new role better. Deep down I enjoyed feeling the pressure again, the thrill of the wait. 

I don't say I'd hoped for a crash - but was happy that I would be the one to deal with that if it happened. 

I sighed as I checked the laryngoscope blades once again, then counted the endotracheal tubes. 

Everything was in order. 

I nodded contently, zipped up the bag, and placed it on the table, ready to grab it tomorrow morning. 

I was enthusiastic, but terribly frightened and freaked out at the same time. 

"Hey," I heard from the doorway. I turned and saw Daniel standing there, leaning to the frame casually. 

"Hi," I gulped. 

I had no idea what was he still doin around here this late. 

_ Alone _ . 

"I saw uhm..," he mumbled. "...the lights on," he pointed to the lamp on the ceiling. 

I blinked there, and then to him a couple of times. I swallowed hard before speaking. 

"Yes, I just hopped in. Then I'm off to see Max," I hurried to explain what was I doing, so there was no awkward silence. 

He nodded slowly. 

"Yes, he told me about what happened," he said. "He is just afraid to let you get in danger," he smiled. "In fact, I feel the same," he added. He wasn't smiling anymore. I looked at him, and as much as I felt my stomach flip again just because the mere sight of him in my office, I had found a disturbing thought forming in my head. 

"So if you too just came here to say that you don't want me to be in the medical car tomorrow, you may as well leave," I frowned. 

I saw him smile again, and I couldn't decide if that already made me pissed off or not. He stepped into the office, leaving the doorway. He peeked outside before finally closing the door. 

"I didn't," he shook his head, as he turned back to face me. "We agreed on to talk later, remember?" 

I swallowed.  _ Right, we did.  _

"Yes," was all I could say. He looked at me, as if he was waiting for me to say something more. 

"So what do you think?" He asked casually while he stepped closer once again. "Of this?"

I blinked and looked up to him, trying to resist his gaze. 

Well all I knew that we have been here before, and last time it didn't end so well. 

"On second thought, I'm not sure if it's a good idea Daniel." 

_ Ok, that was my fucking realist mind speaking. _ My poor heart was drenched in my chest, fluttering quietly as he looked me in the eye once more before lowering his gaze down, inspecting my lips. He reached out with his hand, tacking a strand of my hair behind my ear in the most gentle way. 

"Well, we don't need to talk if you don't want to," he breathed, and the next second his lips were on mine. 

It was like welcoming a long last part of me. 

He didn't waste any time, he continued from where we finished last time - somewhere near the shores of Monaco. He slipped his arms around me, making sure I stayed close. 

I knew we were making a mistake, forgetting everything else but the other and just made out there but I couldn't think of anything against it at that moment. 

So I bit on his lip while let him make us step back together until my butt met the examination table. I sighed into his mouth, and felt his lips curve into a smile immediatley. He slid his hand slightly lower, and made sure I hop on the table securely. 

He stepped between my tights, and leaned away to give me a look. His eyes were dark, darker than I've ever seen them before. 

"Do you want to stop?" He asked, while he didn't really stop. His hands cupped my butt pulling me even closer. I felt his body pressed to me, and the warmth of him just by itself almost made me gasp.

He used the short pause to slip his hand under my FIA logoed shirt, and stopped at the hem of my bra.

"God, make me stop, Clara," he opened his eyes to look at me again. "Make me stop now, because from the next minute I won't be able to." 

I took a deep breath because I already knew I won't be able to say the only responsible thing to say in this situation. 

"Continue," I said almost inaudible. "Please, Daniel." 

Now, I begged, as I reached up to dig my fingers into his brown hair. It was still damp - maybe he had a shower after his workout, it was Thursday and he always did cardio with Michael. Or.maybe it was an ice bath when -  _ Fuck _ . He kissed me again, and this time he wasn't gentle. He got what he asked for, my permission and it felt like a dam burst to million pieces in him. His hands were everywhere, caressing my back, grabbing my breasts and stroking my tights. 

I enjoyed every move of his, easing in his touch, completely shutting out my real world. 

It felt so right being with him at that moment, in fact  _ this _ was what only felt right after that stressful day. I felt my body become weightless under his touch while our kisses became more hungry. 

I also wanted to take the opportunity to feel his long craved body. I caressed his shoulders, his pecs and stroke his abs. 

I felt my head spinning as I opened my eyes to meet his once again. 

He didn't say anything this time, but impatiently reached for his fly, also making his belt loose. Then, in the most natural way he did the same with mine. 

I gasped, just before he captured my lips once more. 

"You are amazing," he whispered.

Everything came so natural. 

Every touch of his felt mindblowing, and I tried to concentrate hard on not to gasp at every move but I failed miserably. 

He kissed my neck as he pulled me closer, pushing me flat on the table. He leaned forward over me, following my body, carefully covering it. He pulled down his jeans with one hand, and I shut my eyes, already imagining what sweetness would come next. 

He should have fet the same way because I heard him groan in the curve of my neck as I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. 

"God, Clara," he whispered, still kissing the soft skin over my collarbone. "I wanted you so much. I had this in my mind for  _ months _ ." 

He sighed and I did nothing to deny this desire from him. 

"Mate? Are you still here fuckhead?" 

I heard the not so distant words, but I was positive that Daniel wasn't able to hear his surroundings in that state. He was way too in to make his shaky hand wander up along my tight with the destination already in his mind. 

"Danny Ric, I have your car key, so you're sleeping here unless…" 

That was all, because the next second the door opened, and Michael stepped into my office, making us both jump up. Luckily we still had many clothes on, but the situation was so obvious, there was nothing left to deny. 

The fact that my face felt to be on fire was nothing, compared to the feeling Michael must have been feeling. 

He realised the situation, and all the blood were gone from his face at once. 

"Holy fucking shit! I am so sorry guys," he muttered. "I am so sorry." He said once again, and he slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

Daniel groaned painfully. He leaned back his head to my forehead and looked me in the eye. 

"Don't worry, I promise I'll kill him," he vowed. I couldn't hold back the chuckle that left my chest. 

"It's OK," I said, sighing, trying to look away. 

"Clara," he turned back my face to make me look at him. "It's not OK. In fact, that's the most unfortunate thing ever happened to me." 

I saw the desperation in his eyes, and all the lust that wasn't able to escape through his kisses and touches. 

"I…" he began after taking a few deep breaths. "I could take you home. Wherever you want to go," he said with some newly found calmness in his voice. 

"All right, let's go," I nodded. 

I soothed down my clothes, and got up from the table. 

Daniel watched me quietly, while he walked me to his car. It was pitch dark, not a soul around except the security guards and some random mechanics minding their own businesses. For a moment I wondered where did Michael disappear so fast. He must have gotten himself a taxi, there were still some waiting at the exit. 

We got in the car and there was a heavy silence for a few minutes. 

There was much needed to say but we still chose to stay silent. I glanced at the screen to see it was half past nine. Good, so I could still go over to Max. 

"Should we speak about what happened?" Daniel asked, struggling to keep his eyes on the road. 

I sighed, because  _ yes, we should.  _

_ We could. We will.  _

_ Just not now please?  _

He let me think, and waited for my answer patiently. After a few minutes, when we were getting closer to the hotel he reached out and put his hand on my tight. 

"It will be alright," he said in a calm, reassuring tone. 

He was surely speeding, but his firm touch and calm voice made me ease up in my seat, and didn't even care about the car or its speed. It was only me, and his soothing presence. 

"So, are you going to wake up Max now?" He asked with a tiny smile. 

"He is surely not sleeping yet," I answered. 

"He never sleeps this early," I stated. 

He nodded, and took the last turn to the hotel's parking lot. 

When he had to switch to reverse he took his hand away from my leg, so I realised it was still there the whole way here. 

I sighed again. 

_Jesus Daniel, why do you have to be so casual? Easy. Natural._ _Essential._

"Come, I'll take you to his room," he said when he parked and came around to open the door on my side. I followed him to the elevator, and watched him press the top button. 

_ Penthouse suites. I'd really never figured that out by myself.  _ I rolled my eyes. 

I leaned to the wall, and hoped he didn't want to break the silence with any words or actions. I got sick of the closed, suffocating atmosphere of these elevator rides. 

"Come," he tilted his head in the direction of the door as we arrived to the top floor. 

He stopped at a door, and he turned to face me. I somehow didn't expect to stop so soon, so I almost crashed into him. He stopped me with both hands, holding me firmly. 

"Well, this is Max," he murmured, pointing to the door in front of us. Then he bit his lower lip, suppressing a smile. 

"And I'm next door," he added with a deep exhale. "Which one do you want to go in?" 

I had my breath trapped inside my chest. I looked in his brown eyes which were eagerly waiting for my answer. His lips curved into a snug smile, seeing my hesitation. 

He started to lean in - again and I used all my willpower to resist him, as I said -

"It doesn't matter what I want, Daniel. We can't," I whispered. I placed my hand on his chest to feel his warmness once again, and kissed his cheek. 

Then I walked to Max' door and knocked. 

My Dutch friend opened the door with a surprised expression on his face, but let me step inside immediately. As he closed the door I peeked outside but didn't see Daniel. 

"What do I owe the pleasure?" Max asked me as I positioned myself comfortably on his couch, and switched on his laptop to find Netflix. I still felt him still being a bit pissed, but I honestly hoped he'd ease up seeing I came to him spending some quality time together. 

"Don't be a jerk please. You have no idea what I went through to get here," I mumbled, opening the comedy section. 

_ Such a classic way not to deal with your emotions, Clara.  _

"Leclerc?" He asked with a lightning look. 

"No, he's actually not like you think he is," I rolled my eyes. I had more than enough of their quarrels and I was desperate to get out of between those two. 

"Well, I am the one who knows him from the age of 6," he wrinkled his nose. 

I looked at him, already grinning. 

"Max, considering the levels of our experiences with him, I don't want to get deeper here," I chuckled. 

"Oh, fuck him," he scoffed. "Don't even remind me of  _ that _ ."

I watched the Dutch with an evil grin, then he decided to leave it and sat down on the couch next to me. 

We were only ten minutes in the movie when the image of Daniel's lustful look jostled into my thoughts, found a cosy place there and stayed until I fell asleep. 

Next morning I woke up to the sound of Max' alarm. I opened my eyes and remembered I fell asleep on the couch before the movie ended. I had the impression that Max did the same, I think I woke up in the middle of the night when he switched to lay on his bed. 

I sent a text to Charles to say I'm arriving with Max to the track and we could meet there. 

He insisted on seeing his girlfriend before the practices. 

"Don't stress, you'll ace it," Max mumbled in the elevator, seeing me taking a shaky breath, just after I remembered what am I supposed to do today. 

I felt the weight of the importance of the job pressing on my shoulders.

"Wow wow wow, wait!" 

We heard the loud shriek as the doors started to close on us. 

Max rolled his eyes while we pushed the opening button on the console.

"Thanks," Daniel and Michael hopped inside the small place. 

"Hey buttheads," Max grinned and gave high fives to the guys. 

"'Morning," I mumbled. It felt like they just noticed me, standing at the back. 

I felt my cheeks getting hot, in fact the whole elevator felt like a furnace at once. 

_ Is this some malfunction? God, we should report this immediately.  _

Michael literally started to sweat, I almost felt sorry for the poor lad. He sent me apologetic looks on the way - all day really. I could see him taking all the blame on himself, because of last night. 

Well, nothing could be more inaccurate. We'd never supposed to be there -  _ like that. _ In fact, I could thank him later. 

The elevator door opened, and more people got in some wearing Alpha Tauri shirts. We had to take a step back to make room for them. I was still standing next to Max, but Daniel also got dangerously close to me. I felt a shiver running through my spine. 

I felt Daniel take a deep breath and tried to look everywhere else but me. 

Michael closed his eyes, leaning to the wall - he looked like he wished to be somewhere far, far away. 

"Now what?" Max couldn't hold himself back longer than the elevator doors opened on the ground floor. "What the actual fuck was this?" He looked at me, then Daniel. 

Michael practically ran away, already on the way to their car. 

"Nothing," I hurried to say. My gaze just met Daniel's and I saw he thinks otherwise but we silently decided to say nothing in this matter. 

"Sure," Max scoffed. "Just for your information, that," he pointed to the elevator at his back, "was the most awkward elevator ride in my life," he said. "Thanks for that," he added, looking at the both of us. He turned and continued his way to the parking lot. 

I looked at Daniel again, and we followed the Dutch who was leading the way. 

In the short distance, Daniel's arm grazed mine once, and when we parted ways he gently touched the small of my back. 

"See you around," he said, looking for my gaze. I looked up, meeting his eyes. 

"Sure," I mumbled and walked away. 

"So," Max started again when we were in his car, on the way to the track. "Care to enlighten me?" 

I rolled my eyes. 

"Can't you just concentrate on your driving or something? Instead of seeing things into everything?" I asked. 

There was a short silence, followed by an accusing look of his. 

"Sure," he mumbled. 

After we arrived, I changed to my overalls I supposed to wear while in the medical car. On my way to the FIA building I peeked in to the Ferrari garage to see Charles. He was warming up with Andrea, but they stopped for him to greet me. 

"Hey," he smiled. I have to say his smile was almost as adorable as Daniel's. 

_ Almost _ . 

He was slightly sweaty but that didn't stop him and he hugged me and gave me a kiss. 

"I missed you like crazy last night." He said. I smiled back at him. 

"No more going out tonight," he mumbled, still hugging me. I frowned. 

"But both of us have team dinners to attend," I reminded him. 

" _ Merde _ ," he cursed. "I forgot."

I chuckled, and said goodbye, agreeing on meeting in the afternoon when we were both finished here. 

As shaking as I was before, the happier I jumped out of the medical car a few hours later. 

There was no incident on track that required our assistance, and on the top of that, Red Bulls were incredibly fast. Charles finished on the fourth place, just behind Vettel. 

When we arrived home I had to resist collapsing into the bed right away. It was late, I got only one hour until the team dinner. So instead of napping, I went into the bathroom and started to apply makeup on my tired face. 

"You are beautiful without all those, you know right?" Charles walked in and stopped behind me, resting his hands on my waist. I smiled at him in the mirror, because that was a really nice thing to hear from your boyfriend. 

_ My boyfriend. Is he still? _ I asked myself several times in the last days if it was still a functioning relationship or not. I still denied the things obviously happening even for myself and failed to acknowledge the fact that I was only playing with Charles, and no matter how attracted I was to him, his love for me remained unrequited. 

_ While I was helplessly in love with Daniel Ricciardo. _

It was hard to let go, because he was an amazing boyfriend, and with a little work on the relationship it could have been amazing. I still felt shivers as he leaned forward and planted loving kisses on the curve of my neck. 

_ God, not entirely twenty four hours ago Daniel was doing the same. Right there.  _

_ See? I was helpless.  _

But it doesn't matter because I've got my own worthy punishment. Daniel was doing the exact same thing I was doing with Charles. Playing with his heart and emotions, enjoying the attention while loving someone else. 

_ Fuck, I was thinking about Daniel while my boyfriend is kissing me. This has to stop. Immediately.  _

I threw down my mascara, turned around and kissed him on the lips as passionately as I could. I was surely driven by the pangs of consciousness and also by the anger because of my own weakness. 

Charles didn't hesitate for one second, he grabbed me and pushed me to the wash basin to make me sit up there. I gasped, because it was exactly my position also yesterday. 

_ Fuck that.  _

I kissed him again, before removing his shirt, and he opened my bathrobe. 

"Let's stay here," I asked him between two kisses. "Let's not go to the dinners, please." 

He groaned, and he kissed me again, as his hand slid to cup my breast. With his other hand he pulled me closer to his body. 

In the end, Ferrari team had to have their team dinner without one of their pilots, as well as Red Bull had without their doctor. 

I got the scolding from Max as soon as I arrived to the paddock on Saturday morning. 

"Where have you been?" He watched me, waiting for my excuse I still haven't made up. "I had to spend all night with Daniel and Daniela." 

I honestly was surprised that Daniel brought his girlfriend to the dinner. But on the other side I was the last person to have the right to say anything - as I was having some passionate sex at the same time. 

"I had some things came up, sorry," I grimaced. 

"Yeah, I guess who that was," he barked and walked over to his car. There was no need to get in yet, he obviously just wanted to end the conversation. 

Luckily, Saturday was the same uneventful session as Friday. As a change, Charles came in to pole position, followed by Max and Vettel. Daniel spun in Q3, and lost his front wing. It wasn't a huge crash, only clipped the wall, but my stomach sunk in my pelvis as I heard mentioning his name on the radio. 

"Car Nr.3 crashed. But there's no need of medical attendance," we heard the heavy russian accent over the radio. 

_ Thank god. _

I hurried back anyway to the Energy Station after the Qualification was over to see if everything was alright. 

On the way I saw Charles giving an interview, and I didn't want to disturb him, so I just tried to slip away. 

Anyway, he didn't think the same way because I heard him saying to the journalist -

"Wow, sorry, just one sec," and he reached for me to pull me next to him. 

"Here, she is the main reason for my pole position," he grinned, and gave me a kiss. 

I blushed, and couldn't even say anything. I was so embarrassed, I didn't even know if it was live or not. 

"Hello Doctor Horner," the interviewer smiled at me, already happy about our lovelife pictured in their channel for the first time. "How are you? Happy about Charles' win I presume?" 

I managed to flash a smile, and nod. 

"Sure, he did an amazing job, again." That was all I could say and then I tried to slip away. "Have to go, just continue." 

I exhaled long as I jogged away.

I returned to the Red Bull garage, and shortly I saw the fuming Max and the disappointed Daniel. They were chatting in the debrief room, and I thought it'd be better to let them process today. 

_ It wasn't like I could help.  _

Later Charles took me home. He was eyeing me all way long. 

"I feel amazing," he grinned when our gazes met. "You were amazing last night." He smirked and I felt a lump forming in my throat. 

"Honestly I though we have problems, but after yesterday, I feel more sure than ever that you are the girl I was looking for." 

I felt my lips curve to a weak smile, just a faint resemblance to his full face grin. 

Next day, the race was a tough one. Just after the start a three car collision happened including Sainz, Stroll and Grosjean. Everone was fine, but the Safety Car had to lead five laps. It was a good news for Red bull, but not for Ferrari. 

Max was furiously zigzagging behind Charles, staying so close I was afraid they'd crash in a turn. 

Then, in lap 23 Bottas had a puncture and the race was suspended again. 

Just two laps later, the promised rain arrived and caused a slip for Hamilton and Vettel too. 

I felt my heart starting to race every damn time I've heard on the radio that there was an incident. 

I eased up after there was nothing, even twenty lap later. I blinked at my phone with dreamy eyes, when the radio scattered again. 

"Incident in turn 5. Car Nr. 3." 

_ God. No. Not again.  _

Our driver pushed the accelerator in that moment the message was over, and in no time we were out in the track. All I could hear was my own hearbeat, it was like a constant warning siren, roaming at 140 bpm in my ears. 

I watched the way we went with wide eyes, saw the cars letting us go by, slowing down. 

We took over the Safety Car then braked long at the scene. 

My eyes were sticked to the Red bull car - well, at least what remained of it. The wreck was laying upside down, half hanging on the tyre wall. At least half a dozen of marshalls were already there, working on to turn the car back. 

I ran there, while I heard the noises of the passing cars. 

_ God, please tell me Daniel is OK. _

As soon as they managed to turn the car I was there, kneeling next to him. I put my hand on his helmet, and shouted desperately. 

"Daniel! Daniel, do you hear me?" 

It was enough as he raised his hand and opened his visor. 

"Sure, I'm a tough cookie," he said. 

I felt a stone fall off my chest, as I patted his shoulder. 

I helped him get out of the wreckage with the help of the marshals. As he walked away the car I saw him limp. 

"Is your leg hurt?" I asked. 

"Yeah, just a bit," he winced. 

"Then you are coming with us," I grabbed his arm and directed him to the medical car. 

We got in to the FIA centre, and I examined his leg. 

I was relievet that he was in one piece, but it wasn't enough, I had to be sure his leg is OK. 

After I made sure it was just a simple bruise to his knee, I closed my eyes and exhaled long. 

"Fuck, Daniel," it was all I could say. I was stressed out, I still felt my heart pacing in an unhealthy rythm. I had to steady myself, reaching for the back of a chair. I suddenly felt hot, I struggled to get out of my grey suit.

"Fuck," I cursed as my shoulder stucked in the overall. 

"Hey, it's all right," he said, sliding his hand under the suit and helped me to remove it. "I'm fine." 

"Yes," I nodded as I tried to plant this thought in my head. "I see that." 

He reached for the sleeves and tied it on my waist with a snug smile. 

"There," he said and from the knotted sleeves his hands slipped to my waist, pulling me to a hug. I eased into his arms, rested my hand on his chest and let him hold me for a minute. 

He caressed my back, until one of his hand slipped into my hair. 

"I'm here," he mumbled over my head. "I'll always be here," he planted a soft kiss on my hair.

Then we heard a knock on the door and Christian stepped in with Jean Todt. I stepped away from Daniel, which felt like a terrible mistake.

_Followed by Daniela._ _God, I almost forgot about her. Almost._

"Thank god, Daniel," she squeeked and throw herself at the Australian. "You are alive! We thought the worst. The worst! I had such a bad feeling. Told you in the morning! Didn't I?" She turned to my uncle and the FIA director. 

"I have these feelings, and they are always turn out to be right! Remember, honey, last time…" she must have continued to talk, but my ears refused to listen to that frequency she spoke on. 

"Everything all right?" Christian asked with much concern in his voice. I nodded, still watching the pair. 

We started to chat about the incident, then my uncle told us the end results - Max wasn't able to take over Charles, so the Monégasque won, with Vettel at the third place. 

When it was time to leave, Daniela insisted on accompanying Daniel. Wrll, it wasn't preventing him from striking my arm, and murmuring me a "Thank you," before leaving. At last, I managed to nod, watched the pair walk out, then I fell in my chair. 

_ Fuck you Daniel.  _

_ Just, fuck everything. _

I sighed, after as I was sitting there for half an hour. I changed and decided to head home. To be more precise, I was heading home to change again, wear a lipstick and join the partying crowd. 

_ Russian vodka, here I come. _

I didn't even wait for Charles, called him on the way and he was exceptionally understanding. He told me he had interviews to give so we agreed on meeting at the club. 

I messaged Vicki and invited her to come over, so we could spend some time talking. 

"Hi," as soon as Vicki stepped inside, she saw something was off. 

She sat next to me, and I didn't say anything, I just hugged her tight. 

"I know you probably don't want to talk about that," she looked at me. "So I will do the only thing a supportive friend could help you with," she grinned. "I drink with you," she reached for the other glass on the table waiting for her. 

After another hour we left to join the rest of the Red Bull team. I was honestly surprised by the warm hugs and congratulations by the team members I barely knew. 

"You aced it today," some mechanic patted my shoulder. 

"Yes, it rocked to see our doctor helping Dan," his mate added proudly. 

I assured them about that being just formalities and their driver was being in the best health condition. 

"Yeah, we saw him, already dancing with Ms. Romani," he winked. 

I felt a sudden wave of nausea hit me, so I turned and told Vicki that I was heading to the toilet. 

I didn't take more than a few steps when I was stopped by Kimi and Sebastian. I saw Raikönnen being  _ very _ drunk, Vettel was probably there just supporting him. 

"Hey," the Finn gave me a side hug, which was very weird. 

_ Yes, obviously drunk as hell.  _

"Hi," I greeted them. Seb sent me an apologetic look, and sipped from his beer. 

"I saw you today," Kimi continued. "And I'm sure you need this," he raised his hand with half a bottle of vodka.

"Well, I had better days," I scoffed. Kimi looked at me like he knew he was always right, and gestured me to drink. 

_ And who I was to say no to the Iceman's invitation? _

"Hey, you should know that we like you," he muttered in my ear. "You are cool." He said and took the bottle out of my hand. "You just don't let yourself down on this fucking bullshit around here. Or anything, really." 

"Well, it's easier to be said than done," I grimaced. 

"Clara, look at me," he pointed to himself and grinned. 

Yes, if somebody could say such a thing, then it was him. I nodded smiling, and thanked them the drink. 

"Anytime," the Finn winked and let me go. 

I reached the toilet when I realised I was fine. I sighed as I checked myself in the mirror then I stepped out. 

Surprisingly, I found Daniel waiting at the hallway. 

I guess he was waiting for  _ his girlfriend. _

I gave him a look, and wanted to walk away without saying anything. 

"Clara, wait!"

I stopped and turned back. I even managed to fake a smile. 

"Yes?" I asked. He looked at me surprised. 

"What's wrong?" He asked. 

I crossed my arms over my chest and exhaled long, looking away. I already enjoyed the moment Daniela leaves the toilet, seeing me talking with Daniel. 

I grimaced, and looked back at him. 

"You know we have to stop it whatever is this before more people get hurt, we already caused so much trouble," I said and hurried to leave before his girlfried finishes. 

I hurried away, to join the partying team, maybe to find Max.

He was at the bar, talking with Lando. 

"Clara," he grabbed my arm as soon as he saw me. "Where the heck you've been? I was searching for you. Called you like a hundred times!" His voice was upset. 

"Why?" I asked, leaning closer to hear him. 

"Wait, it's better if we go somewhere more quiet," he said. 

We walked over to a more quiet corner, and he turned to me. 

"It was Leclerc who leaked your relationship," he said with a straight face. I thought I've heard him wrong. 

"What?" I asked back. 

"It was him, who told all the things to Daniela," he continued. "I am sorry."

I was watching him and waited for his serious expression to break, bursting out in a cruel laugh. But he was watching me with his look unchanged. 

"Why are you saying this?" I asked. "How would you know?" 

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. 

"I have my sources," he said but I looked at him like he forgot all his shady phrases. 

"Okay," he grimaced. "Federica told me. She heard it from Daniela herself," he grimaced again. 

"He wouldn't do such a thing," I said, staring in front of me. I felt like my insides froze and I couldn't even take a deep breath. I was just standing there. 

"He wouldn't have done that. He loves me," I muttered. 

Max stepped closer to me and put his hand on my back. 

"Maybe he did it exactly because of that," he said after a while. "Hey, people do stupid things all the time," he continued. "Especially in the name of love," he said. I looked at him, and saw he was watching the crowd. I took out Daniel and Daniela returning to the dance floor. The Australian's eyes just caught us, and he was watching, surely being curious about the two of us talking like this.

"Could you take me home?" I asked, looking back at the Dutch. I felt the bitterness rising inside me, and I was afraid if that reaches my eyes the dam will burst and then I couldn't stop crying. 

"Sure," he nodded, and turned me immediately in the direction of the exit. 

I only hoped to avoid seeing Charles there. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing him at that moment, not to talk to him. 

Sitting in the car all I could think about how tired I was, how exhausted. 

After a while I frowned at Max. 

"How is that you drive? Didn't you drink?" I asked. 

He looked at me with a sad smile. 

"Well, first I wanted to talk to you with a clear head, but I couldn't find you anywhere. I decided to wait if you needed a drive home, so I could take you then," he shrugged. 

I watched him and felt my eyes swell with tears. And when I started to cry I really couldn't stop for long hours. 


	33. Good things fall apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi to everyone! First of all, I want to thank you for all the messages I've recieved, they make my heart race with joy every time. And made me write a looong chapter again, so thank you.😚
> 
> Well, about the chapter. I wanted to split it in half, because its riddiculously long. And it's heavy reading. BUT. I had this chapter looong in my mind as a whole and didn't plan on arriving to this part at such time. Just one year after Anthoine passing. 💔 so if it happened like that, let's dedicate this chapter and read to him. The guys are racing for him this weekend - to show us he has to be remembered forever, but life must not be feared at any times.

I don't remember how or when I fell asleep that night. 

I woke up the next morning, to the noises of Max having a shower. 

I felt like shit, my eyes were swollen and hurt. After a couple of seconds as I called back the memories of last night my chest became rigid and felt the sting in my eyes once more. 

_ No. No more crying.  _

I fell back to the soft, white cushion and covered myself with the blanket. 

_ There. It'll be sure I stay safe like this.  _

After a few minutes Max came out of the shower. I heard him trying to be quiet but like that he was even noisier, especially when he nearly tripped over his own shoes which were left in the middle of the room. 

"Shit!" I heard his muffled cursed 

"At least now, I'm not the noisy one," I murmured half hidden under the blanket. 

"Hey, you are awake," Max smiled. "I thought you'll be sleeping more. Did I wake you up?" 

I uncovered myself and sighed long. 

Max was sitting on his side of the bed, half dressed, his hair was still wet after the shower. 

"No, you didn't," I pouted. "When do we need to leave?" I asked, because I knew he was going back to Monaco and I…  _ Well I didn't know what I should do.  _

There was a two week long gap before Hungary - the last race before the summer break. I thought I could go back to Monaco with Max and spend some time with Victoria too. 

But then I decided it was time for me to return to my rainy and gloomy home. It's been more than a month long since I haven't been there, and I felt I needed some time alone. 

But before that, I knew what I should do - and the thought itself made my chest freeze. 

"Do you want me to go with you?" 

I heard Max speaking but I had no idea what he was referring to. I frowned at him. 

"To speak to Leclerc?" He asked me annoyed like I was dumb and he was sating the obvious. I shook my head, because it'd be super weird. 

"No, you already did so much for me," I smiled weakly. "Thank you, Max."

"Come here," he said and pulled me to a tight hug. 

After I got myself to finally leave the bed, I searched for my phone, and saw I had three missed calls from Charles, the last one at 1am. To be honest, I was surprised there weren't more. 

"I texted him to stop calling you," Max murmured indifferently.

I sent him a look, but deep down I was so grateful for him being by my side. He acted like being my brother, so protective and caring - but I also knew he secretly just loved the fact I was on my way to end things with Charles. 

I took a taxi to take me back to the hotel where Ferrari was accommodated for this weekend. I hurried up to the room of Charles, but I still had no plan or anything. I knew that I believed what Max told me yesterday and also if that was really true, then it was the end for me. 

I really liked Charles, and I truly enjoyed spending time with him. But the way he was thinking about being in a relationship - being in a relationship with  _ me _ , was unacceptable. Maybe he needs a girl who is there for him 24h, follows him, admires him and supports him in all things he decides to do. Who  _ loves _ him. He needed a  _ top fan,  _ and I... needed something else. 

What was that? Well, I still wasn't entirely sure, but I knew it wasn't the same. 

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A part of me silently prayed for him being already on a private jet on his way back to Monaco, or just away so he wouldn't open the door. 

Of course neither was the case, and he was standing in front of me in no time. 

"Clara," he breathed. His gaze was startled, black circles under his usually cheeky, green eyes. 

"We need to talk, Charles," I said with a grimace. "Can I come in?" 

He looked at me like one of his biggest fears was just getting shaped. 

"Please," he mumbled, and walked me in. 

I decided not to accept his invitation to sit on the sofa. I just stood in front of him, and took a deep breath. 

"I heard that you told Daniela about us," I said. With every word I felt my voice shake, and I think I'd have been already crying if I hadn't used up all my tears the night before, leaning on Max' shoulder, the sofa, the shower cabin and the bed. Of course I knew it wasn't possible "using up your tears", but anyway it felt like that. 

Charles looked at me with no surprise, like he knew this was coming all along. 

"I thought it'd be easier for us," he started. "You know, after everyone knows. I…" he took a deep breath. "Before this, before you I had a lot of girlfriends and they were proud of me, being happy that we're together. I was okay with them too. Obviously not that okay to stay together though,” he chuckled sheepishly, then his serious expression took over again. “And then there came you. You were so beautiful, but not in the usual model looking way. And also a little lost like you don't belong in the paddock," he smirked again on the thought. I watched him, biting my lip. He was speaking with such sad nostalgia I felt my heart clench. 

"First I felt an urge, I felt like I needed to have you for myself, just for a night. Then we spent the night together in Bahrain, after you slipped away. Which never happened before. I felt that you must be special, just leaving me after a night together. It pissed me off and amazed me at the same time. Then I saw you coming to the next Grand Prix and I learned you are a doctor - not a journalist or some team groupie we see so much of. I felt like I found some unicorn," he sighed. 

"But you saw I was Max' friend," I said quietly, now fixing the floor with my down casted eyes. 

"Well, yes. But everything in life is a competition, right?" He snorted. "While I really enjoyed having you closer I really fell in love with you Clara," he looked up at me sadly. "But you never wanted to hear about a relationship. Always turned me down, while I saw you were uncomfortable with sneaking around." 

"Yes, I was," I nodded. "But that doesn't mean…" I started, but he waved me down. 

"I know, and I am terribly sorry. I was stupid. I thought I did what was best for us," he mumbled and stepped closer. "Clara, if I can do anything to make it right…" his voice was higher than usually. 

I looked at him, and I felt so sorry for him.  _ For us. _

"Charles, I guess you only wanted good for us. But for me, you did the opposite. I needed something, before we went public. I don't know what exactly, but that little push never came. And then it kind of felt forced all the way. You are amazing, and I think you deserve someone who wants to go all in, no matter what," I said and felt my heart become very heavy with sorrow. 

"No, no, no, Clara. Please, don't leave me. We are better than this, we can find a way," he pleaded and stepped closer again, but I shook my head. I knew it was now or well…  _ not now.  _

"Charles, just accept that we were not looking for each other," I looked him in the eye. He shook his head, as he slid his hands on my waist. 

"I know I need you," he breathed, and was ready to kiss me. I leaned away.

"Maybe you don't know it yet," I said. "But I'm sure soon, you'll find a nice girl who adores you," I smiled. 

His expression changed fast from sad to angry.

"I don't need some  _ nice girl _ ," he hissed. "I love you, Clara! For fuck sake, did you love me, even for a minute?" His voice was getting higher, and I knew I didn't want to be here much longer if he continues like this.

"Charles, I understand that you are sad," I tried to calm him down, but it wasn't helping. 

"I guess Verstappen told your head all these," he snorted ironically. "He is  _ really _ good at that! Fuck!" He was half shouting, and helplessly crushed down on the sofa, burying his head in his hands. 

"So now what, huh?" He looked at me. "That was it? Because I wanted the whole world to know I love you?" 

I felt the tears threatening to come again. I crossed my arms over my chest and took a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry," I said. "But I think that's for the better." 

He stood up again, and touched my shoulder. 

"At least give it a thought, hm?" He mumbled, again in his most gentle but sad way. "Please tell me you'll think this through."

After a few seconds I nodded. 

"I will." I promised. 

He was watching me leave with the most heartbroken look I've ever seen. 

I returned to the other hotel and I was surprised Max was still there, waiting for me. He was fully dressed now, suitcase standing at the door, ready to leave, but he was casually scrolling on his phone. He jumped up as he heard me returning. 

"What are you still doing here?" I frowned at him. 

"I'm waiting for you to break up with Leclerc," he said with his most evil grin. "Tell me I didn't miss my flight for nothing." 

I scoffed and turned to pack my own bag. 

"First, you are the devil himself, and you'll burn alive in hell. Second, I promised him I'd think it through again. But no, you didn't." 

I turned away when he boxed in the air and chuckled happily. 

"God, I knew your mind will clear up!" He said, and stood up. "So, airport?" 

"Yes please," I agreed. 

I chose to wear a considerable amount of concealer and my biggest sunglasses so no one sees my enormous puffy eyes.

Luckily, Monday afternoon was too late for Formula One personnel to be still around. So we could hang around unbothered and then say goodbye relatively safe from googling eyes. 

Max promised he'd come to Milton Keynes sometime towards the weekend. When the time came we went to our separate flights. 

It was late night when I stepped into my apartment, and sighed. It was dark and raining again, and I felt terribly tired. I fell on my bed, and only woke up the next morning. 

It was Tuesday and I decided to visit David who was still hospitalised at my previous workplace. He was fine, strictly ordered to bedrest, but recovering fast. 

"I'll be back in no time. You keep strong until then. Anyway, I saw you on TV, you don't need much hooray to get you going," he winked on his hospital bed. He was surrounded by flower baskets and paintings from his grandchildren. 

I wished him all the best and made him promise he would come back as soon as possible. On my way out I hopped in to say hello to my past colleagues. 

While I was chatting with the best nurse anaesthetist I've ever worked with, I noticed a flyer on the message board of the break room. 

It said Doctors Without Borders delegates doctors to Africa to help remote hospitals in need. I glanced at the paper and frowned as my thoughts were starting to get a form. 

"Julia, do you know anything about this?" I asked, pointing to the message board. 

"Well, not much, except that one of our surgeons is already going. Why? Don't say you're considering it, Clara," she frowned at me with disbelief. 

I smirked. 

"Well, I'll just ask around," I shrugged and took a piece of paper with the contact's phone number. 

Then, I went to run again. My ankle was still weak so the usual distance was still out of my reach but it was long enough to clear my head a bit. 

Also, the advertisement's description popped back to my mind, and found a nice, cozy place there - and it stayed. It was like an itch, it bothered me, and required attention from time to time. 

So as I jogged home I decided to google and read everything I could find. 

Then I made the call. 

It turned out it was a constant operation, delegating doctors for any length of time to Africa's most remote parts, helping out the local health care workers. 

I asked if I could join for the summer holiday, because well...  _ because I could. _

So like this I ended up being on a list of doctors leaving to Democratic Republic of Congo, just after the Hungarian Grand Prix. 

I haven't thought about it much, because I was afraid to back out of the whole thing. 

To be honest I've always wanted to help in some way like this, and now the opportunity just came across me. 

I had such a rough patch recently, I hoped doing something like that will mean a little break, like a breath of fresh air. 

Although I didn't have the courage to announce my plans to anyone. I guarded it like a little secret which was only mine. And I loved it. 

Friday was the first day when I had to go back to Milton Keynes. 

**Lunch at one?**

Max's message made me smile in spite of I've read it after parking in the rumbling thunder. 

It occured to me that in a little time I'd probably pray for such weather, stuck in the dry and hot African weather. 

_ I don't care. I need a change, and a radical one. Moving out of my comfort zone will get to my senses again.  _

"Sooo," Max sat next to me after he sent Jake to find a different lunch-partner to himself. He wore a concerned expression. 

"Do I ask if you're OK, or not?" 

I smirked. 

"You can, and thank you. I feel better," I said. 

"What did you do?" He asked simply, as he began to eat his salad with a grimace. 

_ I googled if I have every vaccination that was required for travelling to Central Africa. Then I searched for trekking pants and water filters. I ordered a pulse oximeter.  _

_ So, I did a lot of things that took my mind off of this circus.  _

"Nothing much really," I told him instead, shrugging. I imagined Max' face when he'd get to know about my little excursion, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him at that time. 

After lunch, we joined the rest of the team for the briefing about Hungary. 

It was the first time I was going to meet Daniel since Russia. 

I already had my stomach shrunk to a size of a peanut, and I even gulped at the thought of seeing him. I wanted to avoid him but at the same time I was dying to see his smile. 

I was scanning the crowd and searched for him but I didn't find my favourite Australian anywhere. 

I grimaced a bit disappointed, but I didn't have the courage to ask Max about his whereabouts. I'd never wear that down. 

"I can't believe Daniel was allowed to go home and I have to spend this weekend here, in this shitful weather," Max complained loud in the corridor after the meeting, loud enough for my uncle to hear it. Christian turned back with a smirk. 

"Max, you weren’t the one to have a horrible crash last week, please just once have some compassion for your teammate," he asked the Dutch. “Anybody, really,” he added under his breath.

Max scoffed. 

"It wasn't that big. Right, Clara?" He turned to me, but I could only shake my head. 

"It was  _ awful _ ," I said and got a jolt of shiver running through my spine as I remembered the fear I felt hearing Daniel's car number announced on the radio. 

Max' evil giggle woke me up from relieving the memories. 

"Yeah, it should have been heartbreaking."

I concentrated hard not to look at my friend. 

_ So Daniel was in Australia. _ I felt the taste of disappointment in my mouth, but I also knew he loved his home country and had a great relationship with his family. 

_ Maybe he needed some time to think too. _ That would be lovely, if he travels so much in the end he realises he never loved Daniela and then he just comes back and dumps her. 

_ Fuck, it would have been wonderful. Exquisite. Perfect.  _

I tried to forget about him - at least until we were about to land in Budapest, but it was impossible. The corners of my mouth quirked upwards each time his image intruded my mind and I happily indulged on the memory. 

Then, we met again, on Thursday morning - Media Day. It was crazy like always, poor Vicki ran up and down at the Energy Station trying to organise the duties in a manageable order. 

"So, now the place is ready for the paprika challenge then you are off to the interview with Ziggo," she explained to Max. 

The Dutch frowned. 

"What the fuck is a paprika challenge?" He giggled.

Vicki rolled her eyes. 

"I don't know Max. You'll see," she hurried. "Now, where is Daniel again?" She asked with more annoyance in her voice. 

"Uhhh… he," Max made a painful expression. "He has a thing to deal with, but he'll back in a bit." 

"Why do I have to do this?" Vicki asked, turning to me. 

"Chill out Vic, he gets back and we'll be so damn cute, everyone'll just love us," Max tried to calm her down.

In a short time Daniel arrived, but by that time they were really late. 

" _Thank_ _god_ ," Vicki clapped her hands. She started to herd the two guys in the direction of the interviews. And I just stood there, with my fluttering heart in my chest, hoping to talk and not talk to him at the same time. He wore his widest smile, and it wasn't just Vicki who forgave him immediately that he was late for 30 minutes. Max was right, he was so cute, you couldn't just not love him. 

Before he followed the others he noticed I was there. He smiled, and wanted to come over to say something, but Vicki shouted at him again, so he pouted and gestured that he needed to go now. 

I returned to my office with a blush on my cheeks, and accepted the fact that we probably won't meet that day again. 

Saturday morning was the usual, I didn't even know where my head was. I had to substitute David once more, and it was always a pressure. I needed to sit in the car for the morning races as well, so I had zero time to hang around in the paddock.  _ Well, maybe that was for the better.  _

I just left the car for a quick drink and a fix up right before the qualification started. I was on my way to the office when I heard someone shouting my name behind me. 

I turned and saw Charles jogging after me. 

"Hello," he smiled sadly fiddling with the sleeves of his racing suit. "I… just wanted to say have a nice day." 

I was surprised by the simple act but it was sweet and actually made me smile. 

"Thank you, Charles," I giggled nervously. "Are you all right?"

"Not really, no. How could I be?" He scoffed sadly. "I messed up so bad and now I have to suffer for it."

"Hey," I stepped closer, putting my hand on his shoulder. He seemed so lost, all I wanted to comfort him a little. "Don't take it so bad on yourself. It was also my fault," I said. 

He looked at me still extremely sad, reached for my face and cupped my cheek. 

"You are so beautiful," he mumbled. I felt his intense look, and it made me a bit uneasy. I averted my gaze automatically to the direction of the Energy Station. 

_ I needed to get back, qualification starts soon.  _

As I looked away, my eyes met a brown pair of orbs. I swallowed as I was looking at Daniel, who watched us quite surprised. Not the good type of surprise, but the bad one. The heartbroken one. And maybe he was right, I was standing there with Chalres in the middle of the paddock, he was half hugging me, half ready for a kiss, whispering compliments and now… I was blushing. 

_ Awesome. Just awesome.  _

I winced, and looked back at Charles. "Please, take care, alright?" I smiled at him until he nodded. 

"I will. Bye, Clara," he waved simply and jogged back to the Ferrari garage. 

There was nothing else to do for me either just to join my own team. I walked to the garage, but Max was already in his car and Daniel made the last check up before hopping in. 

"Good luck," I said as I passed him.

He snapped his head to the direction of my voice, just as he only now realised I was there. 

"Oh hi," he smiled. Luckily he was more cheerful than a couple minutes ago, looking at me. "Thanks," he nodded. Then he continued to smile at me so nice I felt my inside go melting. 

"So, you… uhhh," he giggled nervously looking around, fiddling with his balaklava in his hand. 

"I'm free after the qualification," I said spontaneously with a smirk. 

Surprise was the first to hit him, then his look turned serious with a secretive smile. 

"Jesus, Clara," he groaned, but I had the feeling he even suppressed his true reaction. "I…” he gulped. “I'll call you, okay?"

"Please, do so." I nodded, and already felt my face getting red. 

I was grinning, I basically skipped back to the medical car, and couldn't wait for the qualification to be over. 

Q1 was fine. It went the usual way. I was watching it on my phone and I had this constant, buzzing feeling in the back of my mind. 

_ And what about your little trip to Congo, risking your life to help locals? Are you planning to tell him? Before or after you confess your love for his stupid smile?  _

I giggled so carelessly, like a brainless chicken. I didn't even hear my own doubts. 

I completely ignored the radio message in the middle of Q3, I only felt the push of the accelerator and I snapped my head ahead, and asked - 

"What's happening" 

"'Morning doctor Horner," said my nurse. “It’s a crash.”

"Turn 2, car 10," my driver barked in the microphone, and took on a sharp corner. 

_ Fuck. Fuck. What the fuck is happening?! _

My heart took its usual pace to this situation, which was banging unhealthily fast. I gulped as we breaked at the scene of the crash.

_ It was really the stupidest situation. Engine problem, the car just got immanagable - and crashed at a turn.  _

_ Times like this, all the driver can do is damage control - crash at a less popular angle, and do it like you survive, and do it fast.  _

We breaked and I saw the Alpha Tauri in  _ parts _ . Literally, you could see the driver's legs hanging out. 

_ Jesus.  _

_ Pierre.  _

I saw his head was tilted to the side, not moving. 

It was like my mind switched to autopilot - I'm not surprised, it happened before, especially at crucially challenging times. I was thinking straight, so straight nothing else mattered. It was a one way tunnel, and in the end I had to save the patient. I couldn't think about the fact that the patient now is Pierre - my kind of crazy, hugging, always cheeky friend. If I did, then I'd cry or fall apart and that… that would absolutely not help him in that moment. 

So I took a deep breath while running to the car. 

"Pierre? Pierre, do you hear me?" I asked, gently shaking his shoulder.  _ He is not responding _ . His eyes were shut and I saw blood beneath his helmet.  _ Fuck _ . 

"Stop the race," I shouted in my microphone. "Stop the race, NOW!" 

So the qualification was suspended immediately, safety car guiding the drivers back to the grid. 

I looked around - marshals and my team were looking at me, waiting for commands. 

I took a deep breath again, feeling the rush in my veins, my heart throbbing in my ear. 

With the direct orders and good training skills we removed Pierre safely from the cockpit - well at least what was left of it. He was placed on a stretcher, and I kneeled to his head. 

_ Now, you are good. Now, you are just doing what you did all your life. Now, let's save him.  _

"Alright. GCS is 3, he is unconscious, with possible head trauma. Put in an IV cannula, and prepare for intubation," I said and silently prayed for him to wake up before I needed to put him on a ventilator. 

But he didn't, his blood pressure was falling, so we did what we could and stabilised him on the spot. My knees were deep in the gravel, and I had to remove my helmet to see better. After a while we were shaded by a large paravan, and the medicopter landed as near as it could. 

When there was no more things to do for him on the spot, then I referred to the local medical staff to take him to the nearest trauma centre. 

But as I was speaking I saw the horror on the face of the medicopter doctor. 

"What's the matter?" I asked, frowning. He was shaking his head. 

"Nothing, just…," he looked at Pierre again. "Would you please join us?" 

I nodded without any hesitation. 

  
  


I've never had so many missed calls than that time I finally fell in a chair on a dark corridor of the hospital we flew with the injured Pierre. I was dirty, bloody and sweaty all over my protective suit. I didn't have a calm minute, because I felt the phone buzzing all the time in my side pocket. So far I had more important things than chit chat with the others, but now, as they took Pierre in to surgery, I had no more job to do. 

I sighed long and read the callers. 

Christian. Jean Todt. Vicki. Christian again. Max. Unknown number. Max. Max. Max. Another Max.  _ This guy never gives up. _

Vicki. Charles. Unknown number 2. 

_ Daniel _ . 

I let out a disappointed grunt. Daniel was supposed to call me after the qualification. But not with these circumstances. I was so happy earlier, I never thought the day would end like this, with me sitting alone, waiting for my foreign colleagues to finish surgery and announce that Pierre was alright. He must be, there was simply no other choice. 

But soon, I was surrounded by Formula One personnel. Basically the whole Alpha Tauri team, FIA board, journalists, my uncle and Vicki was all there. Medical staff had to come out and tell us we need to be reduced in number, because we make a noise and bother their work. I could totally understand them. 

As I was informed, there weren't any members of Pierre's family, but they were already on their way. I offered to meet them, just in case something should be explained.

So I was left there again, with Franz Tost, Alpha Tauri team director - poor guy was constantly making calls and tried to calm everyone down. 

I leaned back and tried to rest a bit. But as soon as I eased up, I felt my breathing shake.  _ God, I was so scared.  _

I exhaled long, and with that exhale also my tears started to run down my cheeks. I felt that the stress just overpoured and exited me through my tears. I just leaned over, buried my face in my hands and let it out. 

I was sitting there for a while when I heard some steps. I hoped it wasn't some riporter again, only a doctor or nurse passing, but just in case I stayed with my face hidden. I really didn't need a  _ Leclerc's girlfriend in action on and off the track _ \- kind of headline.

However, anyone who came this way just stopped, and the next second I felt a hand on my shoulder with a gentle squeeze. 

"Hey, Clara." 

_ It's Max _ . 

My head shot up, and I hugged him so tight I couldn't apologise later for that enough times. 

"It's okay," he mumbled. "You saved him."

"I didn't. He is in surgery for three hours now," I answered, with my face still buried in his chest. As he lowered his arms, I saw he didn't come alone. 

Daniel was standing in the middle of the corridor with a gentle look on his face and a half smile. 

"Hi," he waved. I released Max, and gave him a hug as well. Max was always nice and fun to hug but Daniel was way more warm and his scent was so soothing for my mind like some opiate derivative. 

"Don't worry, you gave your best, you did all you could."

He squeezed me strong, and I sighed half buried in his hoodie. He leaned closer to my ear and whispered. 

"Hey, life is so cruel, ha?" He asked with a sad smile. I knew exactly what he was referring to. By this time, without this crash, god knows where we would have already ended up. And I would have had all the time in the world explaining why I am leaving in 24 hours. 

Now, instead of that I nodded sadly.

"Yes, it is," I grimaced. 

_ Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I need this, instead of just jumping into another relationship right away. Maybe I'll benefit from this time, learning and thinking, then as I see things clear again I'll know what to do.  _

_ And maybe Daniel will also think this through. And maybe, if I come back... _

_ Fuck.  _

_ What if he won't even remember me when I return?  _

_ What if he wakes to the miraculous realisation that he really loves Daniela and…  _

_ But it’s the best if I just leave him alone, to sort things out in himself. _

_ God, I should think about Pierre, not my personal soap opera.  _

I was sitting between the two Red Bull drivers, quietly waiting for the operation to end when Charles appeared. He was accompanied by Cate, who was already crying desperately and when she saw me she fell into my arms. 

"How is he? Is he alive? Clara, tell me something?" She begged, but I couldn't say anything she wanted to hear. And I felt awful because of that. 

"I don't know how he is. He was seriously injured, but we stabilised him, and he is in good hands. He got in early, so he has good chances, alright?" I said with a bit of a rusty voice. I looked at her and she just looked devastated. My heart was aching already, but now it was drenched. 

"Cate, he is so strong," I hoped I was able to show her a small smile. I hugged her again, and as I did, I saw Charles in the background. He was just standing there, with teary eyes, and didn't really know what to do. I squeezed Cate and then, I made sure she sat down.

After that I walked to the young Monégasque. I nearly reached him when he scooped me into a hug, and leaned to me. 

"I love him so much," he mumbled. "He is my best friend, and I can't lose him too," he said. "I've lost so many I love."

_ Gosh, I think my heart just broke. To pieces.  _

I leaned back to face him and wanted to object but he made me stop. 

"No. I saw your face Clara. You are not sure if he makes it," he said simply but terrified. I gulped and nodded curtly. 

_ Well, I really wasn't. _

I hugged him again instead of saying something irrationally optimistic. 

We ended up sitting on one bench - Cate, Charles, Max, Daniel and me. Everyone was silent, buried in their thoughts, and half asleep from exhaustion. 

It was near midnight when I realised how late it was. 

"Guys," I cleared my throat. "You need to go back to the hotel," I said. 

"Yeah, you are probably right," Max nodded and stood up, watching Daniel waitingly. 

"Hey, let's go home, mate," he said to the Australian. 

Daniel looked at me instead of his teammate. 

"Do you want…  _ us _ to stay?" He asked me concerned. 

I shook my head. They couldn't help much and needed some sleep before the race tomorrow. 

"No. Please, have some rest, guys," I answered. 

Max nodded again and soon, they left after saying their goodbyes. 

Only the three of us were left, I saw Cate was sobbing herself to some light, troubled sleep. 

Charles looked at his phone for the third time, I saw Andrea, his trainer was calling him. He should have been home already. 

"Charles, you should go too," I said quietly, trying not to wake Cate up. 

He looked at me and shook his head. 

"No," he said. "He'd be here also for me." 

I sighed and I couldn't stay away, I had to hug him. He also leaned on me and I felt his breathing become even slowly. 

The head surgeon came out to give information around 5 am. All the three of us should have been dosed off, but we winced for the first sound of the opening door.

The doctor told us Pierre's operation was finally over, and he was transferred to the Intensive Care Unit with good vital signs. 

Apparently, both his legs were broken in multiple localisations, and he suffered a skull fracture with subdural hematoma. They were able to fix his legs and evacuate the hematoma from his head. He was still sedated and planned to wake him up in a few days. Full neurological examination was only possible by then. 

"Thank God, he is alive," Cate sighed, and hugged the doctor. I smiled, looking at the embarrassed expression of the surgeon. 

Since visiting Pierre wasn't possible, I managed to convince both Cate and Charles that we needed to head back to our hotels to sleep a bit. 

Charles reached for my hand in the car. I looked at him, and didn't reject his gesture. He needed someone to be by his side, and I just couldn't say no. 

When we stopped at the hotel and I heard him sigh heavily, so I turned to face him. 

"If you don't want to stay alone or something... I can go with you."

He nodded so fast, so desperate. 

"I want everything else but to be alone right now," he said and already pushed the accelerator, turning the car to the direction of their hotel. 

We were quiet on the way, and also in the room. We still had a few hours to rest, so I collapsed on the couch, organising the pillows to a comfortable position. 

"I… I can take the couch if you want," Charles stopped in front of me. 

"No way, Ferrari needs its driver in 5 hours, and I’m sure they do without a spinal hernia," I smiled, and closed my eyes, insisting the place. 

"Thank you Clara, for everything," he mumbled and as he walked back to the bedroom he slid his hand along my arm. 

A couple of hours later, after we woke up, as a first thing I called the ICU asking about Pierre's condition. Charles was listening closely. They calmed me with only good news about his improving status. We both sighed relieved. 

I drove together with Charles to the track - it was fine, because officially, neither of us announced yet that we broke up. 

I smiled at him gently at the entry of the paddock. 

"Please take care, OK?" I asked him before giving him a hug. 

"You too. It gave me chills watching you in the middle of those wrecked car parts," he said. "Also, thank you for being there yesterday," he smiled. 

"Don't be kidding," I smiled. "Of course I was there." 

"So, you stayed there this long?" Max looked at me later, in the garage just before the race. 

"No, after the surgery was over we went home to catch a few hours of sleep," I explained. 

"Oh, it's weird," he grimaced. "I was in your room, but nobody was there."

I blinked at him.  _ OK, then I guess that was it.  _

"That's because I stayed at Charles'," I said simply and tried to ignore his annoyed frown. 

"What? Oh please, don't tell me…" he started but I made him shut up with a glance. 

"I  _ don't _ tell you. He needed somebody," I said. 

"Yeah, sure.  _ All of us _ need somebody. But Clara, you can't just save everyone in need," he said a bit angry at me. "Don’t you see? He only wants you for himself, because he feels stronger with you by his side! But he needs to grow up, not dragging a grown up to his bed!” 

In the end, he was already half shouting, and didn’t look like he planned to finish soon. And I also started to get angry. He wasn’t right about this situation, and had no right to judge me. 

I took a deep breath as I tried to calm down, but it didn’t help. 

The dam had already bursted and the flow of words couldn’t be stopped. I felt the helplessness, the despair and the sadness of the last hours coming to the surface. The breakup with Charles, the accident, Daniel, and now Max too. It was just too much in 24 hours. 

The whole Red Bull team could be eternally grateful that we were standing in the back corridor of the garage, and no reporters or cameraman was closeby. 

“You are blinded by your own hate and selfishness Verstappen!  _ You _ need to grow up! God, now I’m starting to feel so happy to forget about this whole damn circus!”

The second I heard myself I knew it was too much. Max’ eyes narrowed, and he stepped closer immediately. 

“WHAT?” He asked, still shouting, but then he realised all his mechanics were watching us, so he grabbed my arm and pulled me away to a more quiet corner. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, somewhat more quiet.

I crossed my arms over my chest, my nose still flaring from my heavy breathing. 

“I’m going to Congo, for a month,” I shrugged. “Not gonna miss you, though.” I added. Of course it wasn’t true, but I was so, so angry at him, not understanding me. 

He blinked at me. Then he took a deep breath, and shook his head. 

“Why the fuck? Are you insane?”

“Maybe.” I shrugged again. “But I need a break from this shit either way. And who knows, maybe  _ I can save some more people in need there _ .” I said, echoing his recent words with an ironic grin. 

“And you couldn’t find it closer? Why would you risk your life in a shithole of hospital in the summer break? When you could be sunbathing in Saint Tropez?” He asked and I saw clearly that he won’t understand my decision now, right before a race.

“Good question, coming from someone driving over 300 kph regularly in tight corners for fun,” I scoffed. “It’s just because I can.”

“ _ Max _ !” We heard from somewhere from the garage, it sounded like Rocky calling his driver. It was time for the race. 

“Go,” I said to him, and left the other way to get in the Medical Car. 

I don’t say I was happy to hop in the car after what happened yesterday. 

_ But these are the things that had to be done without thinking. _

I sighed heavily and sat in the passenger seat. 

“All good?” My driver asked, looking at me.

“Barely,” I answered and buckled up my seatbelt. 

One could feel that after having a quiet moment to pray for Pierre, with all the happenings in their minds all the drivers were more cautious than normally. Overtakes were happening late, more planned out. There was no crash, fortunately. Although, no excitement either. The Grand Prix of Hungary was the most boring race of the season, undoubtedly. 

At least it favoured Daniel, who won the race after a genius tyre change decision by the team. Vettel came in second with Max in third place. 

I was so happy for Daniel, and I wanted so much to congratulate him. Also, I felt the dying need to tell him I’m leaving in an hour, but he was celebrating. He was giving interviews. He was waving and giving out signed caps to his fans. And he was smiling adorably while doing so. He looked so happy.  _ And he should have stayed like that. _

I said goodbye to Vicki and Jake in the garage, and was partly happy about Max still missing. I was afraid he still wouldn’t understand me, so I wanted to give his thick skull and clouded mind a little more time.  _ Like a month.  _

I got in my taxi and on my way to the airport I wrote a message to Daniel. 

**Congratulations** . 

I was already sitting in my seat on the plane to Paris to catch an early connection to Kinshasa when I got his reply. 

**Why didn’t you tell me?**

Well, I guess Max found him with the news. I sighed and could only hope he understands me better than his teammate did. 

**I’m so sorry, I really wanted to.**

His reply came before the take off. 

**Already on the plane?**

I glanced out of the small window.  _ It will do good. It will be fine -  _ I thought but my heart was saying something entirely different. I typed quickly a yes as a response. 

His message came immediately. 

**Fuck Clara. You are not making this easier, right?**

I smiled as I switched my phone to flight mode. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the future, and its challenges I've accepted. 

  
  
  



	34. Karma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I'm flattered by your comments and questions about the story's state. 😍  
> Well, here is the new chapter. I have more written, but it feels like to stop this chapter here. 🤔 I hope next week the new one is coming with... well, some more excitement! 😏

„Fuck,” a desperate groan escaped my throat when my pager went off, and I jogged out of the little container which was functioning as my home for more than two weeks now. The night was hot and dry, I felt my t-shirt being wet from the sweat. As I ran, getting near the so called A ward I heard a baby’s cry through the silence of the night.

Mweso, the city we were settled, was mainly known from its hospital. It was popular amongst the locals - it admitted nearly 13000 patients around the year. It was near Goma, where the headquarters of our organisation was, about 60 miles from the eastern border of Rwanda. The busiest department was undoubtedly obstetrics. With the complete lack of family planning, a lot of babies were born. We were there to make sure they are well taken care of. 

I met my assistant halfway. The Austrian veteran nurse-anaesthetist, Wolfgang was nearly able to see anything, he had been surely in the middle of his deepest dreams when we were paged.

„’Morning,” I smirked at him, but he only responded with a grimace.

„It’s 3,” he barked, and matched my pace in running.

We arrived at the Operation Room, and the situation became clear without the staff explaining it to us. I gasped as I saw the Norvegian midwife, Hanna’s hand being pushed in deep inside a woman who was obviously in labour.

_ She is preventing either the cord or some small part of the baby to be born beforehand. It’s an urgent indication for cesarean delivery. That’s why they called us. _

The woman looked like she was in pain, and there was no blood around - at least not more than normal _. Great. It’s a good sign. _

I looked at Wolfgang, who didn’t need more, he turned and rushed to the OR to prepare everything for the urgent anaesthesia.

A nurse just came in the room with a crying baby, but she soon realised it wasn’t the place and time for them to step ahead, so she wanted to leave.

The woman asked something worriedly, and the nurse translated it.

„She is asking if she was alright?”

Hanna nodded. I figured they were talking about the baby.

„She is healthy. But there is another one in there, and a little stuck so that’s why we are going to the surgery, ok? My hand just gonna stay here till you and your baby are all right, OK?” she explained with a shade of panic in her voice. Then she looked at me. „Where the fuck is Hernandez?!”

Our Mexican gynecologist soon arrived already sweating, so we were ready to get the second baby. 

The mother wasn’t aware about her twin pregnancy at all for nine months – but soon, twenty minutes later, we woke her up, and brought her both her babies, a completely healthy girl and a boy.

„Ashanti,” said the mother, still half asleep, but with a beautiful, grateful smile. I knew it meant thank you in Swahili, and I nodded happily. Wolfgang was making some strange noises next to me, snobbing into a handkerchief.

„Come on let’s go before you get pregnant just by looking at them,” he murmured under his breath, and simply walked out.

I snorted, but said goodbye to the other staff members and followed him.

There were the only four of us who provided anaesthesia in the hospital – two doctors and two assistant nurses. One was Wolfgang, the other one was a quiet girl from Ukraine – Tamara. I had no idea what she was running from, but I sure heard her speaking on the phone once and said she’d never go home again. 

I felt sorry for her but didn’t ask anything – I thought she’d open up if she felt like it. The other doctor was Léon, a ridiculously good looking French doctor. I had no idea why he was here in the first place. I mean he was from a rich family, graduated with good grades, been admitted in a posh hospital in Paris, but after 10 years he threw everything away and travelled the world – and hasn’t stopped since. He had endless stories from his adventures which he loved to share in some ladys’ company. He was speaking Swahili – he was working here for over a year, and was desperate to teach me some words. The hospital staff was obsessed with our „couple” from the first time I was guided by him around the wards.

„Honey, do you have a husband?” One nurse asked me in the corridor. I've literally never spoken to her before. I blinked at her a couple times while her colleague was giggling childishly, half hiding behind her.

„No, why?” I frowned. I had no idea why was this suddenly that important.

„We think you’d make a cute couple with Doctor Léon,” she giggled. I laughed after I heard their idea and continued my way to my operating room.

"He has beautiful eyes. Good for passing to babies!" 

I heard their giggle after I tried to explain to Tamara what meds would I need. 

  
  


„Good night, Wolfgang,” I smiled at my assistant as we arrived back to our bungalows.

„You said morning already. Before this,” he looked at me like I was some dumb person. But I wasn't in a way to get my mood ruined, so I shrugged. 

„You see? Time flies in good company,” I smiled at him, and stepped into my room.

Our accomodation were less than modest. My room consisted of a bed, a shelf over it and a chair. It didn’t have flooring, only dust on the floor. And the self collapsed the first day after I put my clothes on it. There was no bathroom. It was only available inside the hospital building.

„At least we are close,” Tamara told me on the first day with a shrug. She really looked like she didn’t care.

I collapsed on my bed, still wearing my hospital scrubs. I perfected the method for catching sleep when I had the opportunity, not when I was sleepy or I normally would sleep. We could have been called in anytime of the day, so I was sleeping at the times I wasn’t needed anywhere. 

I maybe catched two hours of sleep when I was woken up by Tamara standing at my feet. 

"It's not really safe, you know," she grimaced. "Sleeping with an open door." 

"Oh, I may have left it open when we came back," I groaned, and turned to my other side. 

"So, are we going?" She asked. "Bobo and Saleem are leaving now." 

_ Of course _ . 

Slowly, my half sleeping mind got the idea what was she talking about. She wanted to go to the city centre - quite strong word for that, honestly - and yesterday I may have said I'd accompany her. I often did - the first days I was worried sick about Pierre, so I wanted to know all the updates about his state. 

Unfortunately, we didn't have any reception on mobile phones, only landlines, so simply calling from my phone wasn't an option. We had to travel an hour to go to the post office and call from a local paid phone booth. Since it was strongly advised to have a male accompanying a woman on travel, if anyone from the hospital staff left, they let us know so we could come. 

This time, we hopped on the motorcycles and sat behind two local nurses, Bobo and Saleem. They were much, much younger than me and we've already shared some trips together. 

Also, I've joined them running on some mornings, but usually the weather was too dry for me to keep up with the two young guys. 

This Tuesday they had an important mission beside wandering around the city centre - they also needed to bring back polio vaccines to the hospital. 

We reached the Post Office by noon. The road was okay to ride, but some clouds were gathering on the sky - and it made our boys excited. 

"It's rain. And soon," Bobo said with a wide smile on his face. He said it like it was Christmas time at once. We changed a concerned look with Tamara, and headed to the phone booths, dialing the well known numbers as fast as we could. 

"No worries," Saleem waved. "It's nothing," he said. 

I looked back at the phone and waited for Cgatles to pick up. It was just time for them to let Pierre out of the ICU. I was still concerned about him, and no day passed without me thinking about his accident at the Hungaroring circuit.

I frequently called Charles - because he was there with his friend all the time. He stayed in Hungary, and today he was going to be there to support him while transferring him back to France. We got on well with the Monégasque - not awkward moments or cringy attitude on his side so far. 

"Si?" Charles answered his phone with a serious tone, I thought something wrong had happened. 

"Hey, it's me," I said but I realised this sentence had no information in it. 

"Clara," he said as his voice became happier at once. "I thought you'd call yesterday," he said. 

I frowned. 

"Isn't it the day of the transfer?" 

"No, he was released yesterday," he chuckled. "Anyway, he wants to say hi."

I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I waited to hear Pierre's voice over the dirty, old phone. 

"Hi, Clara." 

_ It was really him. God, I felt so happy. He was happy. I was sure he was smiling. And it was the most beautiful feeling in the world.  _

_ I saved him.  _

_ Well, technically a whole bunch of people saved him, working closely together, as a team. But anyways. I was a part of that. _

"Pierre!" I shrieked into the phone, and got the attention of everyone quietly minding their business at the post office so far. 

"Haha, I'm alive! And you are not here, so I can't thank you properly," he said. "Why did you run away? Was Charles  _ that _ horrible with you?" 

I couldn't help but chuckle. 

"No, he wasn't. I just… needed a break. Anyway, I'm so happy for you," I changed the subject, and asked him a thousand questions. 

When we finally hung up, I called Max. I didn't need to wait for him to pick up. 

"Clara, you are way too creepy with these numbers. How should I know that it's not some prank call?" He asked when he picked up. 

He was in Saint Tropez, chilling for a week now. I called him a couple of times, and he always acted a bit distant. He answered all my questions but barely spoke by himself and didn't ask about me. It was so strange. I believed he was still a bit angry with me for leaving. 

"Sorry, I still don't have reception," I grimaced. "How is everything?" 

"Yeah, nothing interesting," he mumbled. "We had a nice barbecue yesterday."

"Great. With whom?" I asked cautiously. I didn't want to sound nosy, but I was dying to know a bit about Daniel. 

A few days ago, Max told me a half sentence about Daniel doing something, so I knew he was there with him. 

Since then, I had my mind wrapped around the image of them two having fun together.  _ Gosh, I wanted to be there! _

"Well, Victoria and her man friend," he giggled. "Dan is here, and also Martin with a couple of friends, but you don't know them."

_ Again, nothing. He almost bit half of his name while saying it. Why doesn't he tell me anything about Daniel? Give me some details, Max! Tell me about his smile, and if he wears his magnificently smelling hoodies at night. If he thinks about me that much like I do about him.  _

"I see," I mumbled. "And how are you?" 

"I could be better, you know," he said after a few minutes, and I almost saw him shrugging like a pouting child. "If my best friend was here with me instead of being lost in the jungle somewhere in Africa." 

I needed to chuckle on that. 

"I'm not lost. And there's no jungle," I said with an eye roll. 

"I could argue on the first one," he said. 

And I knew he was right.

We were talking for a few more minutes but then I needed to hang up. The rain was about to start and Saleem was waving to hurry me. 

"Need to go now," I said and a tired sigh was the answer. 

"Yeah, yeah. Till the next time, I guess," Max mumbled and hung up. 

I thought he wasn't impressed about my call, and it made me a bit sad. I hoped he'd tell me about their vacation, and would be curious about my time here. 

_ Well, I guess I was wrong.  _

We hopped on the bikes as the guys were desperate to get back before the rain. We nearly made it to the halfway point when I felt the first drops on my forehead. I felt Bobo pushing for a higher speed, but it was a lost cause. We were soaked 5 minutes later. 

I glanced to the back, the vaccines were fortunately packed in a seamless package. 

Us and our package getting wet was one concern but the other one was the roads' condition. The closer we got to Mweso, the muddier the roads got. At one turn, the other bike just got stuck in the mud with Saleem and Tamara on top. 

"Fuck," the Ukranian girl shrieked. "Just fuck this rain."

Saleem shook his head, as he tried to get out of the mud desperately starting again his bike. 

"Help to push," he said, and we gathered around the bike to push it and tried with some loud grunts. It didn't move an inch. 

"Again!" Saleem told us desperately. 

We tried but it slowly became obvious - with the road getting worse by the minute - this won't help. 

"Maybe you could try it, Tamara," I said. "You're lighter in weight." 

They glanced at me, and Saleem nodded. 

"Yes, you should try, I push," he said. The Ukranian girl swallowed hard, but she sat on the bike anyway and pulled the ignition. I wiped my face to clear my eyes of the rain. 

"Now!" Saleem shouted and with a painful cry of the engine the bike was free. 

I heard Tamara's happy laugh, and my mouth slid to a wide smile.  _ Almost like Daniel's.  _

His image made my smile fade.  _ What is he doing now? We will meet in less than two weeks and I had no idea what to expect from that or the next half of the season.  _

Sometimes I had this strong urge to call him. Or at least message him.

Well, who am I kidding? I tried so hard to take this hiatus, and get my feelings sorted out. More or less I even managed to do it, but that cheeky Australian's face popped back to my mind all the time. And I smiled like a fool as it did. 

I didn't call or message him though. Why? Maybe I was afraid of a possible rejection. Maybe he was happy with Daniela. Or maybe he wasn't but he found someone over the crazy parties at Saint Tropez. Maybe that's why Max never mentioned him to me. 

_ God, I am miserable. Now what? -  _ I sighed as I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out of the window on the plane. 

I had a real good and beneficial time in Congo and never regretted choosing to do this assignment. What was more, I was strongly thinking about coming back…

All the adventure thrilled me and even the riskiest, scariest situation gave me chills in a good way as I thought back to my weeks there. 

_ Only, I wouldn't feel this tired!  _ The Belgian Grand Prix was only in 3 days, and honestly, I only could think about sleeping on my way home. Also, since I sat down in my seat I was shivering, but it was surely because of the long missed air conditioning. 

_ Well, I should have known at this point that something was off. _

"Miss?" The stewardess gently placed her hand on my shoulder, and stroked it. I opened my eyes, but first I had no idea where I was. Then, as I glanced around I saw I was still sitting on the plane, which actually has already landed in London. 

I felt a terrible headache beside the shivering. 

"Are you all right?" The stewardess asked me with some concern in her voice. 

"Sure," I nodded and tried to get up. I stood, but my legs just gave in, and everything went dark somehow.

Next thing I remember was the same stewardess' horrified face as she tried to make me lay down on the seats. 

"Help me! She fainted!" She shouted to her colleague. 

I wanted to tell her I was okay, but I didn't have enough force to do so. I just wanted to lay there and sleep. Maybe with some blankets, because I felt my body shake with the cold. I was also sweating which didn't help. 

After a while a doctor came aboard and told me I needed to get transferred to a hospital. They checked my identity, and they called me Dr. Horner from then, which felt nice. 

In the ambulance, the technician asked me where I was before. With the infusions dripping, I had the blood pressure finally to be able to answer. 

"Congo," I said. 

"And did you take chloroquine?" He asked. I blinked. 

No I didn't. I could choose, if I wanted to take the prevention for malaria and risk its possible serious side effects or not - and risk getting it. Since the area I visited wasn't  _ that _ affected, well I opted for the second.

I shook my head. The guy gave a look at his colleague and grimaced. 

"Well, it's still better than ebola," he shook his head. 

I got admitted to the Royal London Hospital. By the time they took the blood tests I felt better, and my fever ceased. 

However it wasn't all great news - it sounded exactly like malaria should be working. Temperatures and chills coming and going after a couple of hours, duration depending on the exact subtype.

While I was waiting for my lab results, I got on my phone, and called my sister to warn her of my possible state. I could even eat a little, before I got chills again, and fell back to sleep. 

"Dr. Horner?" 

I heard my name. I peeked through my lashes and there was an older doctor standing by my side. I didn't really care about her, my bigger problems were the sweating and the cold I felt beside the terrible, splitting headache.

"Speaking," I grunted. 

"Your results just came back. It is positive for malaria falciparum." 

_ Fucking fantastic!  _ It was my only thought before I drifted back to sleep. 

I had some very troubling dreams. One was that I was married to Léon, who was a team principal for Ferrari at that time. I was pregnant and all I knew was that I was in desperate need for chicken wings. 

  
  


"Why don't you just give her something stronger so she improves faster?"

  
  


"Don't be kidding me, she is though I am sure she makes it in no time."

  
  


"Clara, I'm so sorry for being angry with you. I'm a jerk. And a dumb, jealous prick." 

  
  


I thought I heard Max, but it wasn't possible. He was in Spa, currently preparing for his race.  _ I think it's this fucking fever, making me delusional. _ I felt all my bones aching, and my skin was on fire. I coughed, and turned to my side cradling my own body. 

Next time I woke up to a warm touch on my side. It was careful, hesitant at first, like it wanted to say sorry to bother you. I thought it was the nurse again. Then whoever it was became more brave, and stroked my side a couple times.  _ Well, it certainly wasn't the nurse.  _

The touch of the warm, dry hand felt soothing. Calming. It was nice to shiver finally once not because of the cold. 

I've heard a long, heavy sigh. 

I didn't bother to waste my non-existing strength to turn around, I just fell back to sleep with the loving touch wandering on my back. 

I woke up in the morning, to the sound of the door opening. An older, fair nurse came in with a tight, polite smile on her face.

"Doctor Horner," the nurse nodded at me. 

"Morning," I said. I could open my eyes, and I even sat up on the bed.  _ Finally _ . 

"Good day to you," she smiled. "You look better." 

"I feel better," I smiled back at her. And I did. It turned out I was in pretty bad shape for a week, and gave my doctors a couple of sleepless hours with my state not improving for the medications I recieved. But with a smart switch of meds my state began to improve. 

She told me I was delusional for the short time I was awake, but fortunately I was sleeping most of the week. 

"God, I missed the Grand Prix," I sighed. 

The nurse smirked at me from the other end of the room. 

"Please don't start it again. Those gentlemen were enough for once," she sighed. 

"Who?" I asked with the snap of my head. "What gentlemen?" 

"I'm not following this sport my dear, but after seeing them I had to check for myself," she gave me a side glance. "The ward went crazy to see all these famous racing drivers! So I watched the race last Sunday, and I have to say it was exciting, I think I'll…" 

"Who was here?" I interrupted her drabbling. She looked at me with a slightly offended grimace. 

"Who wasn't. Mr. Max, almost every day. And his friend, the funny one with the Australian accent. Then the handsome one came…," 

_ Oh shit. And did I actually sleep this through?  _

Seemed like it. 

"And there aas your uncle…"

I collapsed back to the bed.  _ Shit. _

From then, fortunately my state improved fast. I had to stay in the hospital for another week, but I felt stronger, and well, I could remember my visitors. 

It was Vicki who came that day, right after she finished at Milton Keynes she drove there first thing as she read my message. 

"Clara," she hugged me. "Finally! We were so worried," she looked at me. "You should have seen the boys. Absolutely unusable. Both," she gave me a meaningful look. 

"I'm sorry," I grimaced and asked her to fill me up about the things I've missed. 

"Now, to cheer you up," she began with a playful smile appearing on her face. "I can finally invite you to the wedding," she said. 

"When is that? Where?" I asked enthusiastically. I was so eager to get out of that hospital bed, the promise of a happy wedding was more than a good motivation. 

"Actually, it's next weekend! Right before Singapore. Get yourself together for that, please."

"I will be there," I nodded seriously.

Next one was Max. He came so late, I was half asleep. He tried to be as quiet as possible, but he was never good at that. He sat down on the side of my bed, and he sighed. 

I couldn't hold back my laugh anymore, I was so happy to see him. I giggled. 

"Clara? What? Are you awake?" He looked at me surprised. 

"Well, it's quite late for a visitor, but yes I am," I smiled as he threw himself at me and hugged me hard and didn't release me for the following minutes. 

"I knew you'd recover in no time," he mumbled into my neck. "But god, I missed you like hell."

We talked until we both fell asleep with Max at the end of my bed. The same nurse came in the morning as yesterday. 

"Doctor Horner!" She gasped. "It's not allowed to have men spending the night!" 

"Sorry, Lydia," Max said, rubbing his eyes. "We have a meeting anyway," he murmured. "So I'm off, but I come back as soon as I can, okay?" 

I nodded, and buried myself deep into the cushions since Nurse Lydia gave me another, scolding side-look. 

Max came back towards the evening again, but he was not alone. 

"Sorry to bother you with this, but he insisted," the Dutch wrinkled his nose theatrically, and opened the door wider so Daniel could step in.

"Thanks man, feels good you think I'm just bothering her," he mumbled, but his eyes already met mine. He smiled, and I nearly couldn't believe that smile was identical to the one I had in my memory for these long weeks. I tried to suppress the feeling of a hundred butterflies in terrible need of an escape through my stomach. 

"Anyway, I want to speak to your doctor," Max mumbled and stepped out of the room to find someone to mock. 

Daniel looked back at me and sighed. He walked to the side of my bed and sat down. He inspected me for a minute without saying anything. 

"Jesus, Clara. You scared everyone to death," he said quietly, making me grimace. 

"I know. I was scared too," I said. "But it's nearly over now, and I'll be good as new in no time," I smirked. 

"I couldn't be happier about that," he smiled with all of his teeth showing and his eyes shining bright. "So, you're coming to Vicki and Jake's wedding?" 

I smirked. 

"I do."

His smile got wider, but then, it slowly faded and switched to a more serious look. 

"Listen, I…," he began sheepishly. 

I gulped just because I looked at him.  _ What? I listen, Daniel. I am all ears. _

But then I also gasped when the door literally burst open. 

"You are allowed to go home!" Max shouted from the doorway with both his hands in the air triumphantly. "I did the job baby!" He giggled. 

I looked back at Daniel, who was also smirking. 

_ What? What did you want to tell me? _

But Daniel didn't look like he wanted to continue our unfinished conversation. He stood up, and reached out with his hand, asking for mine. 

"Let's get out of this goddamn hellhole, shall we?"


	35. It's on us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. You can find the next chapter below. I really hope you like it! It's a bit different than my previous ones, haha. 😉 still, I can't guarantee anything on the next chapter - there might be a hiatus or not, since I can't stand still if it comes to writing 😅  
> Anyway. Enjoy.

Daniel and Max took me home, and the young Dutch insisted on guarding me in the next few days. 

He went out shopping, filled my fridge and even ordered some thai food which felt incredibly nice after the uncounted hospital meals. I felt much better and stronger and I was afraid he was bored while taking care of me. I even agreed to play COD with him, just to make him laugh at how riddicculously bad I was.

"Don't you want to spend this week in Monaco? You hate it here in England," I asked him after we finished. 

"No," he shrugged. "I mean Vicki's wedding is this weekend, I'd travel back for that anyway." 

I smiled as I shuffled his hair, and nodded. He was truly a great friend. 

On the day of the wedding, Max drove in a different car, a little later as he needed to pick up his clothes before going down south. 

I didn't mind - as much as I loved him, I enjoyed driving on the picturesque countryside of England alone. 

I just left Bournemouth when I saw a beautiful grey Infinity car getting behind me. 

_ Is this not…? _

_ Yes, he is.  _

I smiled at Daniel in the rear-view mirror. He was revving the engine loudly with a bright smile on his face. 

I squeezed the wheel a bit tighter and averted my eyes back to the road. I only stole a few glances, but knew it wasn't the time to flirt.

For a few minutes he followed me patiently then I saw he was calling me. I put him on speaker. 

"Hello Clara," he was grinning. I felt it without looking back at the mirror. I smirked. 

"Daniel," I greeted him. 

"So Max finally decided to let you drive up here alone?" He asked, looking amazed, just with a slight edge in his words. I rolled my eyes. 

Somehow it felt like Daniel's distance in the last couple of days was in connection with Max basically living with me. I grimaced. 

He had to know by this time that I was head over  _ for him.  _

"I don't feel alone," I smirked once more, looking at the mirror. Then I faked a panicked voice. "Listen, I think some creep is following me."

He giggled, and at a straight he decided to take over. 

"Nice move," I scoffed ironically. "I'm lacking like 150 mph…" 

I heard him laugh. 

"Meet me at the castle," he said and hung up as he accelerated.

First I had no idea what castle was he talking about, but after 15 minutes and a wide turn my eyes were caught upon the old ruins on the top of the hill. I saw Daniel's Infinity parking at the bottom. 

I glanced on the GPS map and saw we basically arrived, the cottage was 5 minutes from there. I took the turn and stopped my car next to Daniel's. He was standing there, leaning to the front of his car. I walked to him. 

"Hello," I greeted the Australian again, although it felt we already met on the road. 

He smiled back. 

"I'm happy you held me up on the way here," he grinned and straightened up. He only got a scoff in return.

"Well, the emphasis was on that I'm happy you are here," he said. 

I smiled at him. He really looked happy. Whatever was the cause, it suited him.

"Now, I thought you'd like to see the place before the crowd and fuss," he began. I blinked at him twice. "Come on, let's do some sightseeing," he winked and was off on the road leading to the castle hill already. 

I followed him immediately. I looked at the medieval ruins and my lips turned upwards again. Looks like a little adventure! And with the most handsome guy ever as my company.  _ Gosh! _

After we hiked up, I saw the panorama of the neighbourhood was spectacular. 

"That's something," I giggled as I took some pictures with my phone. Daniel did the same. 

"Just make sure to post it another time, maybe tomorrow" I giggled, as I already hit the post button. "I imagine Daniela would go crazy if she sees we were here together," I added with a frown. But still, I couldn't stop myself from peeking up to him. I saw his expression changed at the.mention of his girlfeiend immediately to a slightly more serious one. 

"I don't think it would be a problem anymore," he said quietly. I instantly felt my heart starting to race, hitting to my chest wall hard from beat to beat. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, and only hope to hear the answer I was wishing for for the last months. 

"We broke up," he said. I didn't know if I should lie that I was sorry or if to say anything else. 

I took a deep breath to win some time but then, he fortunately continued. 

"Listen, over the break, I had time to think," he said, while his eyes darted towards the mountains in the distance. I was listening to him while looking up, and hoping for something to happen. I wasn't even sure what, maybe just some miracle. But I didn't have much time to fantasize before he continued.

"I realised I was stupid and childish. I should have made my move as soon as I saw who was in front of me," he said, still not looking at me. He took a deep breath. 

"Anyway, now I know it's better to be alone than with the wrong person," he sighed. His voice was so sad my stomach clenched. Slowly, his puppy brown eyes met mine as he turned towards me. 

"Listen, that was why I wanted to speak to you privately. I uh… I wanted you to know I'd give so, so much to be in Charles' place," he grimaced painfully.

My heart skipped a thud in the heavy beating, and I had to swallow hard to suppress my chuckle. 

God, he is thinking I'm still with Charles. Well, I've never told him we broke up, nor did Charles to the media. Actually, I had no idea why, and it was on my list to make that clear with him first thing we meet in Singapore next weekend. He wanted to meet earlier, but we just couldn't find the time. 

But Max was aware of our separation, in fact he wanted to accompany me and he even missed his flight to make sure I sealed the deal. It was surprising he didn't tell it to his friend who he basically spent the summer break with. 

"Well, Charles doesn't have  _ that _ many points," I smirked.

Daniel looked at me confused, furrowing his brows. I didn't have the heart to mess with him anymore. 

"We broke up before the summer break," I said simply. 

The change of expressions on his face was clearly visible. The surprise, then pure happiness, then a little bit of confusion. 

"What? Why didn't you say?" He asked. I shrugged. "Or Max? Why didn't he say anything? Did he know?" He was so confused, I had to bite my lips. He was adorable. 

"Fuck, I'll kill that little Dutch fucker! With all his knowing looks!" 

I smiled but then I saw the need of calming him down, so I stepped closer to him, placing my hand on his arm. 

"Hey. Maybe, he wanted us to clear things first?" I asked, thinking. It was the only logical explanation I could think of. 

Daniel was thinking too for another minute then he nodded, looking convinced. 

"I'll kill him anyway," he decided, then he looked at me again. 

"Wait a second, you're talking about my best friend here," I said. 

"And I think we've wasted an awful amount of time already," I mumbled, being somewhat shy. 

_ Clara, it's one of those now or never situations where you have to pull up your big girls' pants.  _

He slowly raised his hand to brush my cheek with his thumb. His lips slid to a wide smile.

"Hell, we did. You know the only reason for me not travelling to Africa the next flight after you was that I thought you are still with Charles."

I smiled up at him. As he leaned in the next second, and I felt his lips touch mine, I felt all the butterflies finally escaping from my stomach. They flew free around us, finding their new homes along the medieval ruins. 

Daniel exhaled long, as if I wasn't the only one getting relieved to be held in his arms. 

His kisses I missed so much were becoming more and more demanding. He pulled me closer, as if he'd never wanted to let me go. 

After a few minutes, we parted for a couple of deep breaths. I could only smile like some dumb. 

"God, I can't believe this," he giggled like he just won the lottery, and pulled me in again. 

We stayed there for the sunset, and it was truly magical. Daniel scooped me in his lap to keep me close, making sure I was always available for another kiss. 

"Why are you here a day earlier?" I asked him frowning, and shuffled a bit in his lap to be more comfortable. 

Daniel looked at me with only one of his brows raised. 

"What do you think?" He asked. I laughed as it became clear he's kind of planned on this whole thing. 

"Also, don't whiggle this much please, or else I'd get excited too much down there," he said with two red dots appearing on his cheeks. 

I had to bite my lips, and turned to him. 

"I'd be flattered," I smiled and kissed him again, brushing against him deliberately. 

I heard him sigh into our kiss.

"Clara, I'm not gonna waste our first time here," he mumbled against my lips. I felt shivers run through my spine, and as I felt colder I leaned to him, a bit disappointed.

"Ah, I understand," I said, pouting. "And I share a room with Aurelie." 

His grimace was priceless. 

"And I guess I am in the same room as Verstappen." 

I nodded, because I might have studying the room plan a little too long at home, while feeling utterly disappointed. 

"Should we stay here for this wedding after all?" Daniel frowned, likely considering leaving the whole event behind. 

"Daniel!" I hit him playfully on the shoulder. "We are adults. Of course we do!"

I leaned on him to get my mobile from my back pocket. I checked the time and it was later than I thought. Of course time flies when you're snogging with the most handsome man on earth who you are in love with. The fact I had unreceived calls from Max and Vicki was the creme on top. 

"Fuck," I grimaced. 

"They called me too. I felt the buzzing in my pocket all the way," Daniel looked at me with a cheeky, proud grin. I bursted in a laugh. 

"You are unbelievable," I rolled my eyes.

After a heavy makeout session leaning to his car, we parted and arrived by our separate cars to the given address. 

As I stopped my car at the parking lot, I gasped. 

The location Vicki and Jake have chosen as the sight of their wedding was magical. I didn't even have the slightest idea how they were able to organise all this with so much work to do during race weeks. But everything was perfect, I could only dream about a wedding like this before.

The top of the hill with the medieval castle was the place where Jake asked Vicki to marry her. It felt truly magical. 

Maybe I was over-emotional, but I had tears in my eyes already as I checked in at the reception.

The cottage which was our accomodation was big, and provided enough rooms for most of the people invited. 

I was supposed to be here a day earlier, so I could help Vicki with the preparation, but after getting malaria and nearly got on dialysis… well, I got a pass card for that. 

My only project before the wedding was to find a dress that suited me - I've lost so much weight during being at the hospital that every dress I've had was too loose. 

So I grabbed the bag of the ironed clothes and my sports bag with a sigh and tried to balance myself to get to my room. 

"Wait, I help you," Daniel magically appeared and took over my stuff, carefully brushing my hand as he reached for the bags. 

I gave him a side look, because we agreed on not to be too obvious as long as my breakup with Charles wasn't public and the hysteria around us wouldn't calm down. 

"Don't be mad. It's obvious to everyone I've been always a gentleman," he said with a smirk. 

Aurelie wasn't in our room. She was probably doing my bit of the preparations as well. And of course in her absence, Daniel saw the opportunity and stayed a bit longer. 

"It's such a cozy room," he glanced around but his eyes were already on my lips. "Maybe I could stay here and Aurelie can go over to Max," he said before his hands slipped around my waist. The idea made me burst out in laughing. 

"Sure, like it's going to happen," I giggled. 

In the end, of course I only managed to push Daniel out of my room just a few minutes before Aurelie's arrived. Poor thing, she was dead tired, decorating the place of the lunch. 

Both of us fell into bed early, as we needed to start to get ready tomorrow morning. 

I groaned when my alarm clock went off at 7 am. I rolled to my other side but only 5 minutes passed, Aurelie's phone started to ring as a change. 

"Good thing you start showering, I only need to apply my magical facemask," she grinned with her eyes still closed. 

"Can you actually give me some?" I asked her. If that's so magical, then I will have good use of it. 

In a few minutes we both settled back with our green faces for the next 10 minutes power sleep. 

Too soon, there was a knock on the door. I wasn't nice when I opened it. 

Max was standing outside only in his boxers smiling, but in no time, his face turned horrified. 

"What the fuck?" He asked grimacing, pointing at my face. "I thought only grandmas needed those. Gosh Horner, you are not  _ that _ old!" 

"Yet," I grinned. "Good to see you too," I added. His face softened a bit. 

"Yeah, I just wanted to say hi… however, I decided to erase from my memory we just met, and I'll wait till you appear in a sexy dress," he grinned, and turned around to go back to his room. 

I shook my head while I walked back to Aurelie. 

"Why is that I can't escape these blokes, like ever?" She sighed. "They are more than enough at work as it is," she scoffed. 

_ I know. But I never want to escape them. Like ever.  _

My thoughts were these, but instead of saying it loud I only laughed and went to start my turn in the shower. 

I stepped out of the steam when I saw I received a text from Daniel. 

**Good morning. Please tell me yesterday was not a dream.**

I grinned like a fool. Like I got a spasm in my mouth. I typed in the response rapidly.

**No, it was definitely not. 😉**

A few seconds later came his answer. 

**Geez. Okay, you know it was confusing to wake up next to a half naked Dutch.**

I laughed so loud Aurelie had to check on me. 

After we got ready we went to help Vicki. 

God, she was so beautiful! Her dress was simple yet classy. Plain lace, with a long weil. With some flowers in her hair, she looked like a forest fairy, ready to enchant every single one of us. 

"Jesus, I almost forgot the rings!" She shrieked in the doorway. 

"Calm down, I got them," I winked. 

"Thank you for being here," she hugged me, and we all sat in the car. 

"So are you sure?" Sebastian turned back from the driving seat. 

I gasped, but Vicki only giggled. 

"Hell, yeah." 

"Wow girl, not everyone is driven to the altar by a four time world champion!" I gasped. 

"Well, I offered her, to the memory of our friendship," the German winked at us in the mirror. 

"God, Seb I'd take you back in a second," Vicki looked at the Ferrari driver. "Starting work on the same day as you have been a pleasure," she said. "Thank you for coming." 

"Vic, I'd have done it even if I had to come from the moon," Sebastian smiled.

I watched them with a smile. It was good to see that these friendships exist in that crazy, racing circus we simply call our workplace. 

"Anyway," Vettel continued with a smile. "This day is about you. I wish you all the best, Vicki." 

Soon, we arrived to the castle hill, and Sebastian parked the car, almost the same place where I've parked mine yesterday. 

I smiled up to the top of the hill, thinking back to my recently made sweet memories. 

_ Anyway. Sebastian was right. Today is about Vicki and Jake.  _

I smiled at my friend, who was smiling too as she waved at her relatives and friends who all gathered here to celebrate their marriage. 

A slow, romantic music began, and we hurried with Aurelie to the front to take our seats before the bride came in. 

"God, I'm about to cry already," Daniel's PR assistant whispered in my ear. 

_ To be honest, I felt the urge of a little sob since I saw Vicki the first time today.  _

_ She was so happy and beautiful and I was so proud of her pursuing her dreams and now she was on her way to marry this great guy… there, I am sobbing too.  _

I leaned to the side to search for a tissue. 

That was when I saw Daniel was standing behind me. 

"Hello," I smiled but I turned back quickly. I didn't want him to see my ugly cry-face. 

The priest was in the middle of his speech, when I felt a warm touch on my side. First I winced but as I turned my face to the side again, I saw it was Daniel. 

He smiled, keeping his eyes on the ceremony. His thumb was drawing circles, and it comforted me so well. 

_ Sneaky bastard!  _

As the newlyweds said their yeses, we bursted out in loud applause. 

"It was fun," Max summed up his emotions during the ceremony on our way back. We rode in his car, together with Daniel and Aurelie. 

Sebastian drove with the pair on the front, so we no longer fitted in. 

The greetings were held as we arrived and then the much needed lunch began. I think nobody ate breakfast, so most of the guests must have been famished - including me. 

Luckily, the majority of the Red Bull team were seated at the same large table. 

Vicki and Jake's vision was to have a light, friendly grill party kind of gathering. The decoration was color- and cheerful, and the wibe really got me since the weather was perfectly sunny. The biggest line was standing to the lemonade stand. 

Through the lunch - which was made on the griller stands and pizza ovens - a band began to play. Jake led Vicki to the dance floor immediately with a big, proud smile on his face. 

"Christ," Max sighed. "Now they want us to dance," he said and opened another bottle of beer.

"Well, I think then it is our moral obligation to do so, mate," Daniel sighed too theatrically, like it was a burden for him to bear. Then, his eyes met mine, and that look was everything but played. He stood up and reached for my hand.

"Clara, shall we?" He asked, and I jumped up so fast, didn't even say anything as an answer. 

He led me to the dance floor and placed his hand on my waist carefully. We began to sway to the pace of the music, with only a few pairs around us. 

"You look amazing," Daniel said after a few steps. I blushed, and had to look away. 

"Thanks. You are not bad yourself," I smiled. 

"I know, I'm good looking, you can say it" he giggled. I only rolled my eyes. 

We danced a little more before he leaned in again. 

"You don't know how much I like you, Clara," he whispered in my ear, then he turned me out and pulled me back in. 

Luckily, I was away when I had to gasp at his statement so he didn't see my embarassement. 

When I gathered some of my strenght, I looked into his darkened eyes. 

"How much?" I asked in a slightly higher voice than I intended to. 

"Like, I can barely resist to kiss you know," he said. His face was so close we really needed to do nothing to make it happen. 

_ But then, it would look bad on Daniel, it would look like I dumped Charles because of him. And as if I was cheating on him. No, I can't let that happen.  _

I squeezed his shoulder with my hand, and forced my gaze to wander back to his eyes from his lips.

"We have to speak to them," I said. It looked like I was the adult in the situation, since Daniel pouted like a child, still gnawing on his lips. 

"Okay, then meet me in my room in 5," he said the bright idea of his. It looked like he didn't get the message. 

"Daniel, please.  _ Max first _ ," I said and he shook his head.

"We can take him together. Easy peasy."

"Then Charles," I said on a more cautious tone. His eyes darted back to me like lightning. My heart skipped a beat. 

"I'll speak to him, don't worry. There won't be any trouble," I said and I only could hope it was true. 

"Yeah, I know him. And I'm not entirely sure of that," he said quietly. 

"Anyway," I hurried to change the subject. "I'm not saying you can't visit me in my apartment next week," I grinned. I felt my pulse quickening while saying that. 

His everlasting smile returned, as he looked at me. 

"What do you do tomorrow?" He asked. 

"Probably sleeping," I said. "After a night danced through." 

"Awesome. Then we can sleep together," he proposed. I smiled at him and nodded. 

As we decided to return to the table, the perfect opportunity occured to speak to Max. He was sitting at the table alone, sipping on a beer. 

_ Still, or again. Well, the odds were in favour of the again.  _

We sat down on both of his sides. 

"Hey mate," Daniel started, and I could immediately hear the nervousness in his voice. 

_ Gosh, not played well!  _

"What?" The Dutch asked suspitiously. Judging by his voice, I was sure he was at least slightly drunk. 

"Max, we wanted to tell you something, before you discover it yourself," I took over the leading from Daniel. 

Max looked at me, and scoffed. 

"They say at weddings people get emotional, don't tell me it just happened now," he murmured. 

I blinked at him, because at first I had no idea what he was talking about. 

"Well," Daniel said, and as I saw his face being completely red, I knew he understood more. Slowly, Max' lips slid to a smile. 

"God, I was waiting for this for ages!" He said. "Congrats mate on findnig your balls!" 

"It looked like he expected this," I said to Danuel when we were the only ones at our table. He looked at me a bit guiltily. 

"I…," he started. "I may have said him a few things," he admitted while his ears turned crimson. 

"Really?" I asked, smiling. 

"Well, yes. In the beginning. Then when we got to know about you and Charles," he had to stop for a second here in his thoughts. He gulped and then, continued. "He was very angry with me, for fucking up. He rooted for me the whole time," he said. I reached for his hand under the table, and squeezed it. I couldn't be happier about Max basically giving his agreement to all this. 

"All I need to say," Max began when he staggered back to our table, coming from the loo, pointing at us. "That I won't sleep in any other room tonight than mine," he vowed. 

"I wouldn't expect anything else," I assured him, a bit of me being ironic, but he didn't seem to get it. 

"So, can I still ask you for a dance?" Max asked, looking at me. It was the last thing I expected, but I was happy about his proposition. I nodded, stood up and followed him to the dance floor. 

We turned to face each other, and Max hugged me without any awkwardness. 

"We've never danced before," I stated with a smile. 

"Maybe I'm drunk," he shrugged with a straight face. 

"Or…," I started giggling. "You too got emotional at a wedding, my friend." 

He looked at me, shooting a scolding look. 

We decided to remain silent for a minute. 

He was the one to speak next. 

"Listen he is the only person I'd honestly, gladly accept to be your boyfriend," he stated. "I just didn't want his dentists' dream fat smiley head to hear that," he grimaced.

I looked at my best friend, and couldn't say anything to that. I felt a lump in my throat forming. I decided to hug him tighter. 

"Thank you," I whispered into his neck as he took a deep sigh. 

  
  



	36. Two Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooop.   
> Looks like I just can't stay away. My life is falling apart, but this story lives. Not as long as I wanted it to be, but hey, it's still something. Please, enjoy.   
> Oh, and keep in mind that only your feedbacks made me write this chapter before the next month. Thanks.   
> Bwoah.

When I woke up to a loud rumbling I had no idea where on Earth I was. It was semi-dark, and all I heard were the noises of the thunder. 

However, despite the awful weather outside, I felt warm and cozy. I lowered my head back to the pillow as I was eager to go back to sleep. It was surely too early and too dark of a day to bother myself with waking up. 

_ I had such a good dream to continue anyway.  _

That was the point when I felt a strong pull around my stomach - an arm sneaked around me and made sure I snug the closest possible to its owner. 

"Why does it rain in England? All the time?" 

I snapped my head back, and at the same moment all the memories flood back to my mind to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle. 

_ It's Daniel. And his arm. Ricciardo. In my bed.  _

_ After we… God.  _

I looked at him, and he was smiling back with his crazy morning hair and warm brown eyes, with his head resting on my rose patterned pillow. 

"Come on, let's just stay here for a little longer. Please?" He murmured while he continued to pull me.

I giggled, and wiggled closer to him. 

"Hey," he smiled, and gave a small kiss on my forehead. 

"Hello." I couldn't really believe if I was still dreaming or simply hallucinating on my own. 

"What's wrong?" Daniel frowned slightly at me. 

"I am trying to find out if it's a dream or not," I said wrinkling my nose. 

Daniel laughed out and started to give me some ticklish pecks along my neck, emphasizing each of his words with one.

"I think yesterday was quite dreamy. But today, it seems pretty real so far." 

He sneakily detoured to the direction of my cleavage, and looked at me again, maybe to check on my reaction. 

I shut my eyes for a moment and thought back to the weekend we just left behind. So much changed in the last 48 hours I could barely believe. Some random moments kept flashing back to the back of my mind. 

_ "We are gathered here to witness the marriage of these two wonderful people…" _

  
  


_ "It was fine," Max summed up his opinion about the ceremony.  _

  
  


_ "Shall we?" Daniel reached out for my hand to lead me to the dance floor.  _

  
  


_ "Is this really how this goes from now on?" Max wrinkled his nose when he opened the bathroom door and caught Daniel and me in the middle of a full morning makeout session. I only came over to say goodbye…  _

  
  


_ "Are you going to be OK?" Max looked at me frowning. I looked over at Daniel who was saying goodbye to the just married couple. I smiled gently at the scene.  _

_ "Yes. We will be," I said and hugged him. "Thank you for taking care of my dumb head," I whispered to his ear.  _

_ My Dutch friend giggled out loud.  _

_ "Sure, someone has to be the adult one, right?"  _

  
  


_ "You are so beautiful. I know it's not what you want to hear first thing but you still are," Daniel whispered in my ear when I was looking for my keys in my bag. It wasn't helping as my hands started to shake from the feeling of his breath on my skin and the fact that we were standing just outside of my apartment.  _

_ I gave him a side look, but it turned out to be a fatal mistake. His lips captured mine so hungry I nearly dropped the keys I found last minute. He sneaked his arms around me, and leaned back to the wall of the building.  _

_ His kiss was soft yet so promising, a soft moan escaped my lips as he smiled into it.  _

_ "Come on," he breathed and tilted his head to the side with the cheekiest grin. "I'm dying here to see what's inside."  _

  
  


_ "God, Daniel," I sighed into my pillow. He was laying over me in less than two minutes, holding me firm on the bed.  _

_ He lowered his face down to give me a deep kiss, his hand slipping under my top. I noticed his hand was a bit shaky - it made me grin, but I managed to disguise it with another sigh. _

_ He must have thought I enjoyed his touch that much - which I did, actually. So he grabbed my top and removed it with one move, tossing it to the floor behind him.  _

_ As he turned back, his eyes were the darkest I've ever seen them.  _

_ He sucked in his lower lip as he looked at my newly exposed bare skin.  _

_ "Fucking finally." _

  
  
  


"Daniel," I murmured, dying to make a move to free my numb arm. 

"Hhhmmpm?" All I could hear was a groan from behind me. 

"I need to turn," I said. "I can't feel half of my body." I tried to turn over, as he finally raised his leg to let me. 

"Do whatever you want," he said in a still sleepy tone. "But don't go, we can't be sure how long we have before Max shows up from somewhere." 

I chuckled and looked up to face him. 

"Why would he come here? He flew back to Monaco this morning" I frowned. 

"Yeah, he did," Daniel nodded and buried his face in the crook of my neck as he hugged me again. "And he keeps messaging me ever since."

I scoffed, and closed my eyes. 

Next time I woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. A large cup was placed on my nightstand, and I smirked. 

It's a present that aims my soul directly. It was still raining outside and looked cold, I shivered just by the scene outside my window. 

However, I remembered the coffee, so I reached for the cup. I saw 'Daniel' was written on it with a heart drawn on the side. 

I just frowned, when the Australian driver walked to the room. He was dressed up and wet. 

"Hi," he grinned, not really caring for the dripping from his jacket. 

"Hello," I replied. "I, um…" I looked at the coffee. 

"Oh, that! I brought it for you," he nodded. I was still frowning, but sipped some. 

Daniel took off his coat then he sat down on the bed. 

"You know I thought when I went into the coffee shop and was asked for the name, I thought it'd have said more than needed if I asked for a coffee with a name 'Clara' written on it," he explained. 

"And what about the heart?" I pouted and turned the cup a bit for him to see. He shrugged, smirking. 

"I don't know. Didn't really notice," he blushed. 

I scoffed again and sipped some more coffee.  _ Maybe that helps to cope with my moody existence.  _

Daniel took a deep breath and shifted next to me. 

"You wouldn't want it, right?" He asked, and I blinked at him, not really knowing what he is referring to. 

"Your name on that cup," he tilted his head towards my drink. "People getting all kinds of ideas." 

I bit my lip, and shook my head. 

_ No. I don't.  _

"Thought so. It’s alright," Daniel accepted my choice with a somewhat disappointed look, that made me pout. I put down the cup I was holding, and hugged him. 

"It's for both of our sakes, Daniel. I don't want the news being full of this love triangle with Charles and us," I grimaced. "Especially not about you being the breaker of that non-existent relationship." 

He turned his head away, and the ever smiley look of his turned troubled. I observed his features carefully and tried to figure out what he was thinking. 

He sighed briefly after half a minute and turned to me. 

"I understand what you mean. I guess," he nodded. 

I felt a rock fall off my chest and slipped my hand up from his nape to his brown curls. 

"Don't worry," I whispered as I snuck even closer. "I will take care of this as soon as we are in Singapore." 

He nodded again in agreement, but one definitely couldn't say he was cheerful as usual. I decided to lean closer, and change the subject. 

"Did I say thank you for that coffee?" 

He looked up to me and as he saw some half hidden lust in my eyes, the edge of his mouth curved upwards. 

"No, I don't recon anything like that," he murmured on my lips. 

"Then, the time has come," I giggled, and slipped my hands downwards on his torso. His face just lit up like Christmas was announced to be combined with his birthday. 

  
  


In the end, Daniel hopped into his apartment and gathered his things only a couple hours before our flight left for Singapore, and we headed to the airport separately. 

  
  


"I like this," Max casually positioned himself half laying on me in his seat. We decided to watch a movie simultaneously, so we can brag about it later. 

"What?" I asked and stole another look in the direction of Daniel. He was sitting a little further to the front of the plane. I was desperate to ask for his hoodie, because the air was freezing cold and now,  _ I knew _ how comfortable those things were. 

"You know, keeping the healthy distance," Max sighed. That just made me frown. "Like that I am able to spend time with my best friend," he explained further, pouting like a three years old. "Finally." 

"You are unbelievable, Max," I scolded him. "You should be happy for us. It’s so simple. Even for you." 

"Yeah, yeah," he waved me down. "I am, don't worry." 

"You only need a girlfriend for yourself too," I said annoyed with a roll of my eyes. The Dutch looked at me with his blue orbs. 

He was quietly thinking for a couple of seconds, blinking at me then crossed his arms on his chest, leaning to the window - the other side of his seat.

"I am completely fine like this," he murmured.

We then watched the movie in complete silence. 

When I woke up, I blinked a couple times. It was warm and nicely snug, I was impressed I could sleep comfortably in that aircraft seat. Then, I looked down and I saw the source of my warmth - an oversized black hoodie with a fist shoving 3 on the front. I smiled and looked up. My eyes were looking for Daniel, who apparently was chatting with Christian a few seats over. 

I decided not to give the item back, just put it on my bag and walked to the toilet. On my way there, as I passed my uncle and Daniel, I made sure I touched the latter's shoulder as gently as I could. He looked up to see who was that, and his expression softened as he saw it was me. 

"Thank you," I mouthed and made sure I wore my most charming smile. 

We landed in Singapore on Wednesday morning. Since it was an 8 hours time shift with considerable time of travelling behind us, we felt tired and weared out no matter how exciting it was to be in that dazzling metropolis. 

I packed out and called my sister Greta, to let her know I'm fine and going to sleep. 

The strategy in the entire F1 population was that we don't even try to accomodate to the distant time zone, so we sleep during the day and work at night. 

I just settled when there was a knock on the door. 

I'd lie if I said I didn't know who it was. I hurried to open it, and let Daniel in. 

"G'day," he grinned, and not wasting any second, he hugged me by the waist. I automatically put my arms around his neck, and smiled at him, already waiting for the long missed kisses. 

"So Michael made me promise we won't stay up," he grimaced playfully. 

"Oh," I pouted, and released him. "Well, I am tired too," I mumbled and made a step towards the bed, determined to go to sleep.

But then I felt his arms circle around me again, holding me at one place. 

"We will rest," he murmured against the flesh of my neck. "But first I need to remind you how amazing we are in bed," he said. His hands were even more determined than his tone. 

And I knew why he said that.  _ Today evening is supposed to be media "day", and I have to speak with Charles before it starts.  _

“So, are you two going to meet up?" Daniel asked me half an hour later. He tucked another pillow under his head and pulled me closer to his chest, while he was looking at me from below his long eyelashes. 

I sighed. It will be the first time to meet the Monegasque since we parted 6 weeks ago in a Hungarian hospital. 

"Yes, we are having breakfast at Ferrari." I murmured against him. His hand which was caressing my back stopped for only a second - then continued its way. 

"I see."

A couple of hours later I woke up to Daniel's phone ringing.

He only groaned and hugged me closer. 

The ringing kept on, so I reached out to hand it to Daniel. 

"Don't," he breathed. 

"But it's Michael," I said, looking at the display. 

"Shhhh," he shushed me. "We are gonna keep quiet and maybe remain unnoticed." 

I snorted and swiped my thumb to accept the call, putting it on speaker. 

"Hey man. Up already?" The young Australian trainer's voice was fresh and cheerful. 

Daniel turned to face me with a scolding grimace. 

"G'day mate. Not really, would choose to block your number instead of getting up from this bed," he said. 

There was a brief chuckle on the other end. 

"And which bed is that exactly?" Michael asked, laughing. "Because I was knocking on your door for minutes and there wasn't really an answer. So can I say hi to Clara?" 

I felt my face blush, but Daniel kept his hands on me, slowly stroking my arm to calm me down. 

"Don't. Just wait for me, I'll be there in a sec," he said and ended the call while sitting up. 

He shot me a questioning look but I just waved him down smiling. 

"Go and do your things. I'll lurk around," I giggled. 

"Alright. Just," he took a deep breath and exhaled long before continuing. "Take care, okay?" 

"I will," I nodded, and kissed him. "There is no need to worry." 

Daniel soon left to meet his trainer, and I got ready to meet Charles. I loved city circuits, because you could feel the atmosphere of the city and see people, not just a distant, closed down track in the middle of nowhere. It was humid and hot outside of the perfectly air-conditioned hotel, and there was a smell in the air that made me smile - making me remember all my adventures in Asia. 

I struggled my way across some busy crossroads and after a few corners, I arrived at the entrance of the paddock. 

I searched for the biggest red building on the strip - the Ferrari Home. 

“Il mio dottore!” I heard as soon as I stepped over the threshold. I turned, and saw Charles’ front wing mechanic, Luca waving at me.

I smiled at him, and stopped for a minute, asking some questions about his family. We chatted a couple times before when I spent a lot of time in their garage. 

"Your man is at the back. Eagerly waiting," he winked and tilted his head to show me the direction. 

I blushed, because god, it was strange. As I was walking and smiling around I felt so awkward inside. 

I reached the glorious cafeteria, and the rich smell of the coffee actually made me dizzy. 

"Clara," I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Britta standing beside me. 

"Hello," I said with a wide smile. "Good to see you! How is everything?" 

"Good. Are you okay? Up for a coffee?"

"Always," I nodded.

I chatted with Sebastian's press officer for a few minutes, but my eyes were checking for Charles from time to time. Finally, he entered the cafeteria with his boss, Mattia. His eyes met mine the very first second, and my stomach flipped. 

But I knew I came here to talk to him, so I excused myself and left Britta for the Monégasque. 

"Good evening," I smiled politely at my ex boyfriend and his team principal. The later returned my greeting, and Charles stepped next to me immediately, turning to his boss.

_ "Grazie Mattia. Dobbiamo partire adesso. Ciao,"  _

The other man watched us with a sneaky grin and just waved. 

Charles gestured to me to follow him, heading to his motorhome. I hurried to keep up, walking along the paddock strip. 

Honestly, that was not the way I planned it. I imagined we would talk for a few minutes at an open space, like the cafeteria, then I am off, back to the Energy station. 

But I could understand Charles as well, not wanting all his team to learn about our breakup evesdropping from the first row, drinking his morning espressos. 

So I walked next to him quietly, and as our eyes met, I sent him an encouraging smile. After all, I didn't want our relationship to be bitter. I still liked him. 

"So," he closed the door of his room as we entered. "I'm so happy to see you, Clara. Can I hug you?" He asked, and his cheeks turned a bit blush after the question. 

"Sure," I nodded, and stepped closer to make that happen. He pulled me in his arms, and held me strong. I heard him inhaling deep. After a few, long seconds he released me. 

"You wanted to talk," he murmured, and his eyes looked a shade more sad than before. 

"Yes," I nodded. "You know, it's about our break up. How is it going to be managed?" I asked. He blinked at me , a bit surprised. 

"Well, I don't know. We just don't get photographed together as much as before so rumours start to form and I just don't comment on it," he shrugged, but what he said made me frown. 

"Is this how it usually gets handled?" 

"I didn't plan to make a statement or anything," he explained, looking at me surprised. "Do you want that?" He asked. Now, he was the one frowning. "Why? If we say anything, rumours will haunt us again. And it's so tiring for me, honestly," he blinked at me, waiting for my answer. I took a deep breath. 

_ Checkmate. I can't tell him about Daniel. it’s too soon. But without him knowing it, this sounds quite logical… _

"I just…," I took a deep breath. "Want to sort things out."

He smiled at me, slowly nodding. 

"Don't worry, we sort this out." 

After that completely pointless part of our conversation, we shifted the topic to Pierre and his rehabilitation, also his family. I sent my regards to them, I actually missed Arthur the most. 

"He was so sad when I told him you are probably not coming over for Christmas," Charles snorted. "He was really enthusiastic for you, being around."

"I will call him up, asking for meeting," I grimaced, because I actually felt bad for ignoring the youngest Leclerc. 

"Good. Just make sure I will be free too!" Charles smiled. "I couldn't survive if he won you over." 

I chuckled at that extremely absurd fantasy and slowly, tried to guide the conversation towards the end. 

In a few minutes, we stepped out of his room, and he offered to walk with me for a short distance. He actually had meeting with Sebastian, Britta and Mia, as the start of tonight's Media program. 

"It was really nice to meet you Clara," he turned to face me, putting his hand on my shoulder. 

"Yes, and I hope..." I wanted to say to him that I hope the realisation of the end of our relationship gets around quickly because it would be nice to remain friends. But before I could finish the sentence, he shushed me. 

" _ I _ hope I see you around," he said quickly. "Come here," he said and slipped his hands around my waist, pulling me closer. I froze, because I didn't expect a hug so tight, especially after the last time when he asked for permission before doing just the same. But this time it was more like a desperate squeeze than a friendly hug. It felt strange. 

"Hey, it's okay, it's not like I'm going anywhere now," I snorted playfully, looking up at him after we parted. 

"I am relieved then," he nodded, with his eyes wandering in the distance. Then I saw him nodding curtly, like he was just greeting somebody. It made me turn automatically, but as soon as I did so, I regretted it entirely. 

_ Maybe I even regretted getting out of the bed that day.  _

Because the ones Charles was nodding at, half smirking, half... well, still hugging me, were the best part of the Red Bull team - Max, Vicki, Aurelie  _ and Daniel _ . 

_ Fuck _ .

Of course the meeting Charles was heading was the press conference, and all the drivers and their press officers were walking there to give their usual interviews. 

I saw Max and Vicki frowning at us, but Daniel freezed in the doorway. He looked at us for a moment, then stepped into the Media Center building, after letting Aurelie go ahead. 

_ How on Earth can I be so. Utterly. Fucking. Dumb? _


	37. More than you know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey 😊 I hope you all have a nice weekend. I'm sure I have because I'm back and more excited than ever. God it feels so good. It's not the best or longest chapter ever, but hey, at least it is one, OK? 😅 And I can promise I will update more frequently from now on. 🤗  
> Thank you so much for those commenting and asking about me in my hiatus. 😚

God, I was so angry with myself.

Even if I was totally convinced about that Charles hugged me because he saw the RB team coming our way, I felt bad because they might have gotten the wrong idea. And judging by Daniel's expression, that was exactly what happened.

_No. I can't fuck this up. Not this one._

Waves of panic flashed through my thoughts and suddenly Charles Leclerc standing next to me was the last person I cared about.

"Shit. Sorry. See you around," I grimaced looking at him, and the next second I was on my way running to the Media Centre.

I was late to talk to Daniel - they were already asked to be wired up and on their way to sit in front of the cameras with Max.

However, I managed to find Vicki, so I sneaked next to her.

"Hello Clara," Vicki greeted me with an uncertain, confused expression. I stopped her before she could say anything else.

"Don't even start please. I'm on it," I grimaced, and paid some attention to the interview with our guys.

"So, Daniel. My question is for you. Do you think as an Australian you might have an advantage at tracks in tropical conditions like this, compared to the others who come from cold countries like Kimi?"

_Jesus. What a dumb question is that?! I can see why all the drivers hated media days._

In contrast, Daniel smirked, and easily settled to give an answer. Our gazes met for a millisecond before he looked back to the journalist. I couldn't judge his emotions by that brief look of his. I swallowed and waited for his answer. I felt my heart become slightly lighter when I saw his lips curve to a smile.

"Obviously," he laughed. After a little pause, he continued. "No, I only wish I knew this track as well as Kimi does! Being used to sweating and heat means nothing here. Nor having good looks! It's only the experience man," he grinned again, and I scoffed at his adorable direct, easy honesty.

I waited patiently for their duties to end, only my feet were tapping on the floor like crazy.

When the guys walked out I joined them immediately.

"Clara," Max was the first one to notice me. His voice was more than huffish even a little hurt. I rolled my eyes at him, and sent him a stare, silently begging him to shut up.

"Hey," I heard from somewhere above me. I tilted my head up to look Daniel in the eyes. His lips were curved into a smile but his eyes gave him away - he was worried.

"Hi," I smiled and tried everything to show him we are okay. We were leaving the building, and walking on the paddock strip but still, I couldn't just hug him there no matter how bad I wanted to.

Luckily, both Vicki and Aurelie felt like the need of a friendly chat, so there was no awkward silence between us.

As soon as we got back to the Energy Station, everyone went their own ways - meaning I snuck into Daniel's room after a brief hesitation.

He seemed to be waiting for me, sitting on the armrest of his sofa.

"Hi," he said again. "I saw your meeting turned out smooth?" He asked although it wasn't really a question, and he averted his gaze off me to the floor in the end.

It made me bite my lip. I felt the strongest urge to walk to him until I could feel the warmth of his shoulders with my hands. I felt his muscles were tensed up.

"Daniel," I whispered, as I caressed his torso.

"I really want this to work. _Us_. I know it won't be easy, but please," I asked him while I stepped in between his legs. He let me do so, taking a deep breath.

"Please, be patient while this mess ends. I also made it, but I can do it right."

He looked up to me and nodded curtly. He said nothing, just smiled - not that usual beaming smile of his, just a small one but sure it was a smile. He raised his hands and placed it on my waist, leaning closer to me. The action just itself made my guts evaporate into colorful fireworks. 

"This is what counts, Clara. You, being there. Before."

_Oh, he meant the Media centre!_

"Seeing you behind those cameras. And you, being here," he smiled more widely now, pulling me closer to his frame. He tilted his face to mine, until our lips met. I smiled into his kiss.

Daniel exhaled contently while his hands began to wander, caressing my body. I couldn't stop to smile, even if his breath on my skin made me dizzy.

Our movements slowly escalated to something less romantic and more PG13 kind of action.

With a low groan he scooped me up, and made us switch places, making me lean down on that sofa.

He was watching me for a few seconds with a rarely seen serious expression, as if he was taking in the view. His lips slowly slid to a grin before he kissed me again.

As we eventually came up for some air, he swallowed hard.

"I can't say I wasn't ready to smash him in the face though."

That made me chuckle and I nodded.

"Don't worry. Looks like nobody can steal me like this," I giggled and gestured at our current state. He was half laying on me, our arms entangled in each other on that small sofa - the only furniture in that damn small driver's room.

"Good," Daniel smirked. "I'll keep you around then."

The inevitable knock was then heard on the door, and Michael stepped in without waiting for our admission.

He saw us, and his face turned red.

"Jesus," he sighed. "I need to get used to this."

"Well, at least we still have all our clothes on this time," Daniel sighed.

"I am so sorry," Michael said and was ready to turn and leave us.

"No, wait!" I gasped, and wiggled a bit to get Daniel stand up, so I could too. "I was just leaving," I said, and already felt Daniel's questioning look.

"I have a job to do," I sent him a stare. "So do you, guys."

I smiled at Michael to show him I was not annoyed at all but I left in a hurry.

It was time for their workout, also for my breakfast - dinner at this time, really - which I still haven't had. As I walked, buried in my thoughts I had the brightest idea.

Well, it was a little harsh and very far from elegant, but hey, karma is a bitch - as they say.

I strolled to the cafeteria, where I saw Vicki. She was exactly the one I was hoping to find, so I joined her. Not that she offered the usual sight - she was eating a burger while dipping the fries in ice cream.

"I've actually never seen anyone eating fries like that," I glared at her grinning. "Only heard the urban legends."

"I know right? It's insane but had to try it once," she shrugged.

When we finished eating, I leaned closer.

"Listen, I might need your help with something," I started.

"I am all ears," she nodded and listened to my idea after which she nodded again.

"Okay, easy peasy," she grinned. "It's my job and lucky for you I am damn good at this," she winked. "Really not a surprise, I am working with Max for _years_ now."

I chuckled.

_True, she has this kind of experience_.

And like that, she's already taken her phone in her hands and started typing.

By the time I got back to the hotel, the news were out.

_Maybe Charles is single again?_ \- the question was asked on one of his main instagram fan accounts.

I was half laying on my bed, reading the comments. There was a long thread, and people were becoming sure of our split up by time, getting information from multiple sources.

I closed the application with a smile.

Later, I walked down to the bar and asked for a bottle of champagne, which I brought with me riding the elevator to the top floor.

I knocked on one of the large wooden doors and hoped Vicki got me the room number right.

_It'd be a shame to turn up at my uncle's door._

Luckily, soon I got grabbed by two suntanned, muscular Aussie arms and I found myself inside Daniel's room in no time.

"What's that for?" He blinked at the champagne confused when he released me.

"That," I raised the bottle high with a proud grin. "Is for celebration."

He was still frowning.

"God, you really don't read the grid gossips, right?" I giggled.

"Nah," he shook his head. "I only post, then abort," he smirked.

I took a deep breath.

"I am now half-officially single," I explained. "Our breakup with Charles is out everywhere online."

His warm puppy eyes went wide for a second then he sighed relieved and hugged me closer.

"Thank god."

My first alarm went off around noon. I turned to my side, and surprisingly, I saw Daniel was already up, scrolling on his phone. It was an unusual sight, he rarely saw him like that.

When he noticed I was up too, he tossed his phone to the other side of the bed and turned to greet me.

"'Morning," I smiled. I blinked at him and thought I was totally OK to wake up to this sight for a very, very long time.

"You know," he began as he crawled back under my blanket. "I think I quite like this half-officially single thing of yours."

"Did Daniel Ricciardo just read pitlane gossips online?" I asked and grinned like a fool. He wasn't good at lying. It didn't help that he wasn't even trying to.

"Mmm, maybe," he blushed, and seemingly made a quick decision to take my mind off the subject by kissing my lips.

We walked to the track together later. Since we've met in the lobby with Michael and two other mechanics from the team, I thought it wasn't a big deal to be seen together like that.

It really wasn't. Daniel had to stop for a few fans on the way and the guys talked about the upcoming qualifying, but I was fine to just walk alone and think some.

Arriving at the Energy Station, just as I waved goodbye to Daniel and Michael, I found myself in front of a pouting Max.

"Hey," the Dutch barked, he barely even looked at me. It was odd and unusual. I scoffed and made him stop stomping through the garage as I grabbed his wrist.

"What's wrong?" I frowned.

He blinked, wrinkling his nose.

"Wow, it's so touching you ask about me."

My eyes went wide.

"Max don't start this please, I had such a nice day so far," I practically begged him.

"Yeah, I guessed so," he rolled his eyes. His lips formed a narrow line. I looked him in his blue eyes, full of trouble.

"Max," I said calmly. "You can always talk to me."

He sighed, exhaling long.

"It's ten points, Clara," he grimaced, staring to the distance. _"Ten fucking points!"_

I knew exactly what he was talking about. He was extremely close to Leclerc in the Championship, Dutch still leading, but the press and the speculations started to grow upon him as we were heading towards the end of the season.

Media was crazy about the two young rivals chasing each other for the title after the long Mercedes regime. It was hell of an excitement for sure, but not while I was watching my best friend and my ex taking part in the competition.

I flashed him my most encouraging smile, and hugged him by the shoulder.

"You will get this. You are amazing, Max," I nodded. He was still grimacing, not really convinced. "Plus you are like still in high school so got a thousand years to win all the WDC titles you want."

This, finally made him scoff.

"Yeah. And also, even if I win, nobody fucking cares." he grimaced.

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"Everyone is head over heels for that girl. I honestly don't understand the hype," he shrugged, his words sounding a bit hurt.

I couldn't hold myself back, as I let out a chuckle.

It was incredible and dumb - incredibly dumb - he was annoyed by her.

The situation was well, truly unique and it was true - the media was all about Alpha Tauri's new substitute driver, Emilia Bergmann.

After Pierre's incident, she joined the speeding circus all of a sudden, sweeping everyone off their feet with her more than decent rookie performance. The German was not even nineteen years old, but she managed to end up P13 on the chaotic Belgian GP.

"Max, grow up," I snorted. "And let that poor girl just exist in peace."

"Poor girl?!" He wrinkled his nose, and his eyes darted to the distance again. "As if! She nearly pushed poor Romain off the track. And all this for a non point worthy..."

"See you after the qualy, Max," I cut in and waved him bye. "We'll celebrate your pole at the team dinner," I said and walked away.

I really didn't need to hear that Max Verstappen was complaining about a race incident that didn't involve him personally. It was fake and absurd like hell.

I, on the other hand, was floating a few inches above the ground, light and happy, smirking at the monitors every time I saw a Red Bull car.

Max shouldn't have been worried, he managed to steal the podium from Vettel, Charles came in only sixth. I was a bit surprised by that, considering the fact that the Monégasque loved this track and was always eager to race here.

I walked to the parc fermé with Michael to see both Red Bull drivers give post qualy interviews. Max looked relieved, and he happily shook the hand of Seb, after hugging Daniel brotherly. The Australian looked cheerful and content with his third place.

As we arrived back later, Daniel's first thing was to walk to me. He almost reached for me when he realised we were actually in the garage, so he blushed, and lowered his arms.

"You were awesome, Daniel," I nodded grinning.

"I know," he grinned. He took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'll be in my room," he said, winked and hurried away.

I giggled, and managed to wait a whole minute before joining him.

A local restaurant was the place for our usual Saturday team dinner. I was excited to be with the team, and happily prepared in front of the mirror. Daniel had media duties until late, so we agreed on meeting there.

I applied some pink lipstick, and giggled on the realisation that I was not that enthusiastic about my life since weeks. _Months, really._

When I arrived to the restaurant I found Max in a much better mood than in the morning.

"Hey," I smiled and sat next to him. "Do you feel better?" I asked grinning.

"Sure," he nodded.

"Oi, Max," one of his mechanics, Pete shouted over the table towards us. "Get that title now, before that blondie steals it from ya'!"

I shut my eyes. _God damn Pete! You just put rubbed salt into his wounds._

And I knew it was going to hurt. Bergmann got a more than impressive 11th place in qualification, just missed Q3. Even Helmut Marko spoke highly of Emilia. Last time he seemed this impressed was the year Max joined Formula 1.

Max' expression hardened at once listening to his mechanic, then he swallowed hard. Everyone was waiting for his reply but however, my uncle felt the need to speak up.

"Well, I have to admit, she is even better than we expected her to be. So fresh and motivated!"

I literally felt Max getting more tense by every word of his boss. I placed my hand on his arm gently to remind him not to say anything.

_Of course, it didn't help._

"Why is everyone fancying her like crazy?" Max blinked at Christian. "You only say that because she is a girl, and looks good in Alpha Tauri clothes! Sure, that brings big money, but I honestly think it was just wrong to bring her into Formula 1. It just makes _our_ sport look ridiculous!"

The place froze as Max raised his voice. Half of the table watched the young Dutch with disbelief and the other half just murmured some easing words under their breaths. I blinked at my friend and didn't really understand where all this rage was coming from.

I was truly, eternally grateful for Daniel to decide to arrive at this exact moment. He was wearing my favourite canary yellow hoodie and his widest smile.

"What's up folks?" He grinned, and squeezed Max' shoulder. "How is our little pole sitter?" He asked, still not realising the tense atmosphere around him. I looked up to him with a warning look.

"Never been better," Max murmured. The Dutch was quiet for the rest of the night, nobody had the guts to speak to him again so he was sitting alone with his thoughts.

"All right everyone, it is time to have some rest, tomorrow is a big night," Christian stood up and basically ordered everyone in bed.

"Hey," Daniel stepped next to me. I smiled up to him.

"Hello."

"Can I walk you home?" He asked, and his seriousness made me chuckle.

"Sure," I nodded.

"Tell me again, why are we always sleeping in my room?" I asked Daniel half an hour later, when I was washing my teeth in the bathroom. This place was a simple hotel room, not like his - that was a whole suite!

He smirked at me from the comfort of my bed, half laying, all the cushions piled up behind his back.

"Because it's much cozier here," he answered with a shrug, and continued to watch me, biting his lip.

I grinned into the mirror - for the second time of that evening, and really felt happy.

"What was Max' problem today anyway?" Daniel asked curiously. I sighed.

"He is Max. You know him, nobody is better or nicer than him. Especially not on track," I summed up the situation.

"I don't understand. Jesus, the guy got pole today!" he scoffed.

"Exactly. But he is now huffish because some poor girl stepped a foot in Formula 1 and allegedly stole his spotlight."

"Oh, is it about Em?" He asked excitedly. I blinked back at him.

"Em?" I asked. "Just like that?"

He let out nervous giggle.

"Oh, I've talked to her a couple times already, and she seems really nice."

Well, I can't say that felt good. I didn't really know that girl but Daniel mentioning her like that made me frown.

He must have felt my insecurity because he stood up and walked to the bathroom. He stopped behind me, and made me turn to look me in the eye.

"Clara, it is only you I'm interested in, you can believe me," he said.

I felt a flow of warmth dripping down the line of my spine and later, I fell asleep with a stupid smile on my face.


	38. Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 😊 I am back with the next chapter. It's a shorter one, but you know, big things always have small beginnings. 😅
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy as I go back writing 🤗 and giggling about the upcoming race this weekend. 😁

I was just getting ready by finishing the packing in the medical office. I sent Lee back to the hotel, and told him to get some rest. I wanted to spare him, as I could perfectly do the job myself. 

I zipped up the last bag, and placed it in the corner of the room next to the others. They were going to be shipped to the next race - Suzuka, a couple of hours later. Sure, I was excited to discover however small part of Japan I could get my hands on in two weeks. 

The race ended a couple hours ago. Hamilton won, Max only came in second but he managed to secure his advantage ahead of Charles, which made the whole team relieved. The only Ferrari points were achieved by Vettel, he came in 3nd and the young Monégasque DNF-ed from P6 in the last lap when he happened to get a puncture. I can’t say I was happy for that, but still - I was relieved Max was obviously leading the competition. 

I looked at the clock - it was quite late and the after race party was supposed to start soon, it was time to leave. So I reached for my backpack but as I turned, I froze on the spot. 

Charles stood in the doorway, and I could see he was angry. His eyes were red and swollen, and his otherwise plump lips met making the thinnest line now. 

I was so surprised he came here, to Red Bull - to my office, and at such a late time I even forgot to breathe. I just stood there, blinking at him. 

“You know, I saw what you did,” he murmured. 

I blinked again. First I had no idea what he meant by that.

“After I thought we agreed not to announce anything,” he continued.

Now, I knew. I closed my eyes for a second, then sighed. 

“Charles, I didn’t,” I started, but he cut in. 

“Don’t think I’m a fool Clara. I can be young, but I know you arranged it this way,” his eyes were lightning. “Nice comeback,” he scoffed. “Now, I have to deal with my DNF and our breakup at the same time. Right at the championship final.” He raised his voice, and looked getting angrier with each of his words. 

I gulped. Well, I still thought I had to do that, and for my and Daniel’s sake the sooner was better. 

“I am sorry,” I started, but he interrupted me again. 

“And all this for Verstappen? You know he’d win without ruining me, but you just had to do that,” he basically spat the words. 

At that time I gave up even trying to talk to him. I crossed my arms on my chest, and waited for him to finish. Like a mother while her child is having a tantrum. 

“You know I was head over heels for you Clara, I probably still am,” he started to calm down, the rage of his voice was now shifted to bitterness. “And I thought you’d respect what we had by waiting a bit,” he looked at me with his sad eyes. 

Just when I thought about telling him about Daniel, his words hit me in the chest. 

_ Does he still love me? Shit.  _

I knew that no passion nor sense will not make him understand why I made our breakup public with the help of Vicki. 

I walked up to him, and gently placed my hand on his shoulder.

“It is not easy for any of us,” I said. “Please believe that it has nothing to do with the championship.”

He tilted his face to look me in the eye.

“At least, tell me. Was I such a bad lover?” He asked, almost inaudible. 

I had to let out a little laugh. It was the most absurd question. 

“Charles, you were  _ exquisite _ ,” I smiled. 

He also let out a little, bitter laugh. 

“You will kill me, Clara,” he sighed. I grimaced, since I couldn’t say anything to that. 

He looked at me once again, then simply turned and walked out of the Red Bull Hospitality. 

  
  


I was so sunk in my thoughts that I walked straight into Toto Wolff in the parking lot. He was alone, and I was not sure I wanted to know what he was doing. I always admired but feared the guy, and now as he suddenly stood in front of me being like 3 heads taller than me, wearing all black, I felt my fear justified. 

The Mercedes team principal blinked at me with a curious look.

“My god, I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“Be careful,” he started, his voice was slightly threatening. I gulped. “This late any team can just steal such a talented young  _ doctor _ .” The corner of his mouth finally curved a degree upwards while speaking. 

My heart skipped a beat when I realised he even might know who I was. I think I looked so shocked, he laughed out. 

“Dr. Horner, don’t look so shocked. Someone who is capable of saving lives, can’t get frightened of a grumpy tall man with a funny accent.”

I gulped. 

_ Sometimes, I don’t know where I find my courage.  _

“I’m not shocked, Mr. Wolff. I’m just surprised you are not at your team’s victory party. It’s a unique opportunity.”

He blinked at me a couple times before answering. 

“We are the ones who work late while the others are partying, right?” He asked with a mischievous smile. 

“Right,” I nodded. 

“Well, then have a nice evening,  _ Clara _ ,” he smiled at me again, and began to continue his way to his car.

_ Are we on first name base now? Let’s be it then. I said I’m not shocked, right? _

“Same for you,  _ Toto _ ,” I answered and began to walk in the other direction when I heard him again. 

“You know, if Red Bull becomes too much of a …  _ family place _ , I’d be flattered if you gave me a call.”

I had my breath trapped inside me for a second, but again, somehow managed to snort while finally breathing out and I left him without really responding to his request. 

  
  


“I am so fucked up,” Max sighed, laying on the couch. 

It was just the two of us and a significant amount of takeaway food half eaten on the table. He decided to stay in his hotel room and not attend the after race party. He messaged me while I was preparing to join them in the club and asked if I want to join him. I immediately said yes, and tossed away my mascara. Later I let Daniel know that it is totally okay by me whether he stays out or joins.

“I think I got a job offer from Toto Wolff an hour ago,” I said simply. 

“Don’t shit with me,” Max frowned. 

Since I didn’t answer, he accepted it actually happened. 

“No. You can’t,” he got halfway up, looking at me. “Don’t. That is literally the dark side, Clara. It is tempting, but it is just wrong,” he explained. I couldn’t stop a grin. 

“Chill man, I’m not going anywhere,” I giggled. “Yet.” 

“You are impossible,” he sighed. “You women, are impossible. I hate you,” he sighed. 

I watched him, and it was obvious he has more on his plate than he revealed so far. I let a little silence fell upon us, but since he didn’t say anything else than insulting my sex generally, I took a deep breath. 

“What?” I asked. “Tell me. You know you can tell me anything, Max.”

He looked away, casting down his eyes, fiddling with a chopstick. A few minutes passed after he spoke up.

“I don’t even know what to say, alright? I’m just fucked up,” He repeated helplessly. 

“Something tells me it is not just about the championship,” I said, softly probing him. 

His head shot up immediately. 

“What? No. It IS about the title, believe me.  _ Everything  _ is about that,” he said with determination. It made me scoff. It was a childish behaviour I hoped he would grow out of soon. 

“Max, you are allowed to have other… interests beside winning,” I searched for his gaze, but he turned away. 

“I am fine,” he said, but the fact he just broke the chopstick in his hand suggested otherwise. “And all that matters is the next race. Luckily, your little toyboy DNF-ed, so I’m winning,” he looked up grinning. I felt I could slap him, still I decided to dodge the subject and stay. I even agreed to play Call of Duty with him and Lando. 

_ Whatever gets him through the day.  _

**Alright. Meet you home. Just hide the midnight snacks. Please and thank you.**

I felt so lucky reading Daniel’s message. It was a bit strange he called the hotel room ‘ _ home’ _ , but in the end, he was the guy who made himself cozy everywhere. 

“FUCK! Jesus!”

These were the words that woke me up around 3 am. I winced, and pulled my blanket higher up on my body as I tried to make out what on Earth was happening in the dark. 

“Daniel?” 

“Yeah, it’s me,” I heard from the other end of the room. I sighed relieved, and let my head fall back to the pillow. 

Daniel finally struggled to the bed. 

“Sorry, I almost fell over the couch,” he said casually and laid down next to me. I laughed out loud. 

“The couch? How can someone fall over a couch?” I was truly curious. He snorted, while sneaking closer. 

“It was in the way. Also I think the beer doesn't help locating large objects,” he giggled. “It’s dulling my exceptional reflexes.”

“I can see that,” I smiled, and accepted his offered lips for a kiss. Yep, I could definitely taste the beer.

He didn’t hesitate for a second, and slipped beneath the blanket. I felt he was still wearing all his clothes. 

“Why didn’t you change?” I asked, but his answer was delayed by the struggle he had removing my top. 

“I was hoping you could help with that,” he giggled again, and unbuckled his belt for a start. “I was missing you tonight,” he breathed. “But I knew you’ll be right here when I come back, so it’s alright.”

“I missed you too,” I smiled, and cupped his face. I wanted to share my excuse, that being with Max when he is clearly down is my priority when compared to a lame party, but it’d feel odd to mention another guy’s name right there so I remained silent and enjoyed the kisses hinted on my shoulder. 

He kissed me again, and as I felt more awake, I returned his gestures. I started to caress his back, his side, literally every part of his body I could reach as every now and then my hand slipped to get a handful of those amazing brown curls. I started to feel dizzy, and my inside slowly turned to a delicious warm liquid. I gasped, and a clear thought appeared in my cloudy mind that for this man - for this feeling, it was worth waking up in the middle of the night.

I swear it was only a minute, till I heard the familiar light snoring. 

_ What the fuck? _

I laughed loud, but it looked like it wasn’t loud enough to wake up the now peacefully sleeping Daniel. I turned on my back and couldn’t stop giggling, I don’t even know how I fell asleep in the end. 

Next thing was the smell of coffee I remember. I opened my eyes and saw Daniel with an apologetic look, holding a big cup of coffee. 

“I am so sorry, Clara,” he bit his lip. I blinked till I remembered what was I supposed to be angry for. I tried to delay my giggle and I watched him suffer for a few more seconds. 

“I tried to give you some space, so I stayed out,” he grimaced. “But drinking beers with Romain made us both wasted.”

“It wasn’t that bad. But I take the peace offering coffee, thank you very much,” I smiled. “And then, we can continue from where we stopped…” 

He blushed, but didn’t move a bit. A shade of discomfort appeared on his face, which made me frown. 

“What? Is your flight this early? You have to go, right?” I asked him with a little worry. I knew he wanted to fly back home for a couple of days, since his mother’s birthday was on the weekend, but he never told me when exactly was he leaving Singapore. 

“Nah, it is only scheduled for the afternoon,” he said quietly. I saw he remained buried deep in his thoughts.

“So what’s the matter?” I asked again. He ran his hand through his hair.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come?” he asked, still barely looking at me. “Listen, we don’t even need to stay with my parents, we can book a hotel…”

His words became distant as he continued to speak. 

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Is he asking me to go with him? Am I ready for this? I am… not. I don’t know. Fuck. It’s too early, isn’t it? Oh it is. But it is also only another continent away, with a guy who dances to his favourite weird rap songs naked while reading top secret formula 1 racing data. What could go wrong? Gosh. Where are those big girl pants, Clara?  _

“And my sister also texted me, she wants to meet you so much, and I’d miss you too…”

I took a deep breath as I looked up to him, placing my hand on his cheek. He had a little stubble which I loved so much.

“Fine,” I said quietly. 

His eyes almost fell out of their sockets. 

“What?” He gasped. “So you coming?”

I shrugged and tried to look as casual as possible. Meanwhile my pulse was so fast it surely required a cardioversion. 

“I have no better things to do anyway.”

“Jesus Christ, Clara,” he exhaled long, then started laughing like a lunatic. He threw himself at me, so we fell back to the pillows. He kissed me hard, while still grinning. 

“Wow, doctor Horner. I feel amazing, suddenly no hangover at all! You really do your magic!”

“Oh, fuck you Ricciardo,” I snorted, still laying above him.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedbacks are my motivation ♡


End file.
